Bring Back Humanity

Last night we started to watch the CNN town hall about the massacre of seventeen teens and adults last week and turned it off. We found it just too contrived. 

As well, we feel that the media is taking advantage of an unspeakable tragedy for their own ratings. Perhaps they were (and still are) and they will have to live with that.

Up until this morning, the seventeen murdered children and teachers were  names and faces. We watch Morning Joe every day. Sometimes it can be aggravating. But sometimes, like today, it brings someone else’s life and pain right into our kitchen.

The father of a fourteen-year-old Jewish girl who was shot in the back while running for her life last week, was interviewed. He wasn’t yelling, he wasn’t hysterical and at times, he wasn’t even that coherent. But he was real. He brought humanity back. He was allowed to talk for more than ten seconds which is about the attention span of the average adult.

As a Canadian, we know we are looked at by the world as a bit boring, very unexciting and often predictable. Right now we’ll take our country, with all its warts, over the anguish, grief and agony that the United States is going through and will continue to grapple with for many years to come.

If nothing else, maybe humanity will be brought back to the United States by the teens who are speaking out.

Perhaps a moment of silence to begin the school day will become the norm. Lest one think this 60 seconds is irrelevant, think again. A high school in the Bronx initiated this a few years ago. There was a profound difference in the way children dealt with each other. Some children even had a minute of silence on weekends. The school became a more human place.

It’s time to bring humanity back. It’s one of the things that smart phones – which are not so smart after all – took away.

Justin Trudeau, our illustrious Prime Minister finally made it to the Drudge Report. Unfortunately, for all the wrong reasons. Frankly Blanche, he’s becoming more famous for his penchant to be a buffoon, than his good looks. What’s the world going to do?

To make things simpler to read, we will list his latest antics which all took place on his current trip to India:

…He has been ridiculed on social media by Indians for his ‘tacky’ and over the top outfit choices while on his first visit to their nation. Indians called his outfits ‘too Indian for the Indians.” Ministers, authors, journalists and ordinary Indians lined up to mock him  saying his wardrobe was ‘fake and annoying’. Mercifully, he put on a suit today.

…His handlers didn’t do their homework and are now in major damage control mode.

Someone by the name of Jaspal Atwal was convicted of trying to assassinate an Indian cabinet minister in Canada in 1986. Here’s where the Liberals are creating the news to suit their purposes. This dude was invited to a reception with the Prime Minister, which took place today. What his handlers are saying is that as soon as they realized who Atwal was, they rescinded the invite. What they are not telling you…

Is that Atwal had already attended a reception with Trudeau on Tuesday evening. Oops.

…To try and salvage this disastrous trip, a video posted to Twitter shows the prime minister dancing his way onto a stage, followed by the piece de resistance when he told a business leaders that Canada had just celebrated the 100th anniversary of Canadian confederation.

…And finally, Trudeau flew his celebrity chef to India, of course at your expense.

This trip turned out to look like an episode of the three stooges.   Let’s just say his people can’t wait till he gets home. At least in Ottawa they are able to control him.

Nothing, zip, zero, zilch is going right for the Canadiens. Their main goalie, Carey Price is out indefinitely with a concussion. The Canadiens’ chances of making the post-season listed at 0.1 per cent. Oy.

We are rethinking voting for the CAQ in the next election after receiving a very interesting email. The country tossed out Harper and look what we got – a Prime Minister who, after his looks, has little more to offer the country.

Then we tossed out Coderre. It took the new mayor, Valerie Plante, oh, about three days to allow power to get to her head. Perhaps the unease about the CAQ’s real intentions should be looked at more closely. So far we’re zero for 2.

Good Shabbos,
We’ll talk…

The Living Room Revolution

It’s being called the Living Room Revolution. Kids who were forced to run out of school for their lives last week are sitting on the floors in their living rooms,  creating a movement and revolution.

They are not six-year olds like the children from Sandy Hook who could obviously not do what these teens are doing. Nor are they parents who no one will listen to.

They are the future voters for both parties and for the first time, politicians are sitting up and taking notice.

Through social media they are gathering strength in numbers. “March for Our Lives,” is a nationwide protest slated for March 24. One student began a group text with a few friends that has since ballooned to include as many as 19 participants. Someone built a website, while another person designed a logo. “I’ve been there [in the group chat] since basically hour one,” said another student. “We just felt really inclined to make a specific movement. You can’t just make change. You have to be organized.”

On Saturday, they fanned out across the television networks, giving as many interviews as they could.

It appears they are calling out everyone: the NRA, both parties for taking money from the NRA and the politicians who are afraid to speak out for fear of losing votes in the next election.

Change happens two ways: from within and from the grassroots. It could be that these teens will be able to effect change that the ‘mighty’ politicians could not, nor would not do.

Montreal’s new mayor, Valerie Plante is very quickly becoming the ‘let them eat cake’ mayor. In other words, she doesn’t give a rats what people think. She was elected mayor and she will do whatever she damn well pleases. You don’t like it, move.

We are referring the closure of Montreal’s crown jewel – Mount Royal – to cars in favour of the elite of elite cyclists and walkers. Morris the accountant who bikes on weekends is not dreaming of taking his bike up that steep hill. Unless of course our illustrious mayor decides to put some oxygen masks at the top. And it appears she’s just warming up. Power has quickly gone to her head.

In late breaking news, Trump signed a memorandum directing the attorney general to propose regulations to ban all devices that turn legal weapons into machine guns that fire hundreds of rounds of bullets with one pull of the trigger. Plus he’s trying to implement an age restriction for buying AR rifles, the kind used in most US massacres.

And now for Justin Trudeau. Ahh, our so handsome Prime Minister. Young pretty girls may swoon in his presence, but to the rest of the world, especially the political world, he’s very quickly becoming a laughing stock.

We listen to a radio show in the middle of the night called Red-Eye radio, coming out of Dallas Texas. Imagine our surprise when his name came up and both announcers began laughing and making fun of him, invoking his now viral word of peoplekind.

Others not as nice have called him a moron and thought perhaps he was dropped on his head as a child. He’s now in India and seems to have been snubbed by Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, who did not come to meet Trudeau at the airport, as he was beginning an official trip. Trudeau was accompanied by half a dozen of his government’s ministers and instead of the Prime Minister meeting him, a junior minister of the Indian government met the entourage at the airport.

While it is true that Modi doesn’t go out to greet every leader that comes to his country, it was very noticeable that so far, he has declined to even send out a tweet welcoming Trudeau to the country.

The big question to ask is if Trudeau  knew the difference or was he too busy being politically correct to notice. One more thing: Someone better have told our Prime Minister not to speak of gender equality or saving the planet in India. It won’t fly.

Oxfam and the United Nations got together a few years ago in some kind of partnership. A match made in heaven. One uses hookers while the other is the platform for anti-semitism. They deserve each other.

Nikki Haley for president. The woman is simply unbelievable.

She gave a speech today at the United Nations in which she blistered the U.N. for its gross bias against Israel, ripped Hamas for subjugating the Palestinians in Gaza, and slammed Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas for leaving the U.N. chamber before she made her remarks.

She’s wasn’t done there. “Israel has been forced to live under constant security threats like virtually no other country in the world. It should not have to live that way. And yet, Israel has overcome those burdens. It is a thriving country.”

“It is the Palestinian people who are suffering more. The Palestinians in Gaza live under Hamas terrorist oppression. I can’t even call it a government authority, as Hamas provides so little in the way of what one would normally think of as government services. The people of Gaza live in truly awful conditions, while their Hamas rulers put their resources into building terror tunnels and rockets.”

After noting publicly that Abbas had left the room, Haley said the rest of her remarks would be directed to him, despite the fact that he had exited. She proceeded to annihilate him. Don’t mess with her and guess what, don’t mess with Trump either. There’s more to him than what the media is trying to feed everyone.

We’ll talk…

No Words and No Action.

If nothing changed regarding guns, gun control and mental health issues after Sandy Hook, when 26 six-year-olds were shot at point blank range six years ago, nothing is going to change after this, the 19th school shooting this year.

The United States is the only country in the world where this happens. The why has multiple, overlapping and intertwining reasons. So again we will see prayer vigils, candles,  many interviews, tears and shrinks trying to make sense of something that is senseless.

Not to sound macabre, but remember the Las Vegas shootings a couple of months ago? Over 50 people were randomly shot from a window in a hotel. No reason. No mental health issues. Just someone’s personal armoury.  It didn’t even last two days in the news.

Right now, it is virtually impossible to stop these massacres as the guns are out there and can be bought at Walmart, gun shows and thousands of stores in between. For now, perhaps the answer is what they have in Israel – metal detectors and guards with some brains checking backpacks. It is time to deal with the here and now and stop talking about things that will never get done.

May G-d give those who lost their children, husbands and wives comfort and strength. There are no words.

Anybody see Kim Jong Un’s sister Kim Yo-jung? That’s a name, eh? It’s obvious that she got the looks in the family. She actually has a chin. Blanche, that’s nasty.

Even though it seems that she’s a favourite of her brother, she best watch her back as top aides can have notoriously short life spans. Maybe she’s planning to stay in South Korea? Ya never know.

Wait. His uncle tried that and Kim Jong got him in an airport with some kind of poison. Remember that. He’s one special dude that Kim Jong Un.

A German actress actually said out loud what we have been saying for quite a while now. She was speaking at the German Film Festival (we are guessing in German) and said the following:

“Women are expected to squeeze into tight-fitting, low-cut dresses and totter on impossible heels in order to serve the gaze of those who’ll judge whether they are marketable or not.” She’s in favour of comfortable clothes.

Perhaps someone can give this message to female talking heads on all the major stations. The only one who dresses with some self-respect and class is Mika Brzezinski of Morning Joe. And believe us, it takes nothing away from what she has to say. Nor does being half naked make what you are saying more relevant.

Good Shabbos,
We’ll talk…

The Mystery of the Missing Kosher Cheese

Anyone see the official portraits of Michelle and Barak Obama unveiled yesterday? Uh, not to be  nasty, but those portraits were, shall we say, interesting at best.

He looks like he’s sitting in a bad wallpaper commercial.  She bears zero resemblance of herself. Seems that she was being depicted more for her clothing than her face. He was to be shown as a thinker. Oh, and one more thing. He has six fingers… Check it out. 

What happened to all the kosher cheese in Montreal and other Jewish communities across Canada? Seems all but one brand has disappeared from the shelves and that brand is basically inedible. It doesn’t even melt on your bread in the toaster oven. Isn’t that interesting Blanche?

With any luck and some pushing, this mystery will not only be solved quickly, but normal cheeses will return to the shelves. Lest anyone forget, the Jewish population does hold some sway in the electoral votes. Plus, what government wants a collusion scandal all over the front pages?

One would think Trudeau’s government has enough on it’s hands with his ‘peoplekind’ comment, where he’s being made a fool of all over the world. We doubt the Liberal government wants to find themselves on the front pages of the newspapers for not allowing kosher cheese to be sold due to some, shall we say, insider protectia, shortly to be the worst kept secret in Canada. Stay tuned to this story.

If this next news item is correct, yet another mystery will be solved.
Keep reading this piece till the end to understand what’s flying here.

It seems that the stock market is being manipulated. On Monday, a whistleblower urged U.S. regulators to investigate VIX manipulation, claiming it has cost investors hundreds of millions of dollars in losses each month, according to a letter from a law firm representing the whistleblower.

Now in English: The CBOE (Chicago Board Options Exchange) Volatility Index, known by its ticker symbol VIX, is a popular measure of the stock market’s expectation of volatility implied by S&P 500 index options, calculated and published by the CBOE. Here’s the pertinent sentence: It is colloquially referred to as the fear index or the fear gauge.

Someone or some people are manipulating the fear factor causing people to lose gzillions of dollars.

Here’s the essence with an example: There’s a stock worth $500 one day and then $100 the next day because someone manipulated the market. That same person will buy tons of that stock at $100 and then manipulate the market again so that stock goes to $700 and then he will sell making a killing while others will lose their veritable shirt. Disgusting.

Montreal’s only free drug and alcohol detox centre has been forced to close a third of its beds after half its nurses quit en masse.

Out of 12 nurses at the Dollard-Cormier Centre on Prince Arthur St., six have quit, saying they couldn’t handle the stress and the double-overtime shifts.

Our illustrious health minister Gaetan Barrette says he will step in if needed, but adds he wants both sides to work things out for themselves. How about throwing some money their way? Or perhaps finding some of the nurses who left the province for this exact reason.

We keep saying the same thing: As long as Couillard holds onto Barrette, he’s toast. And these kinds of news items don’t help.

Coming to a theatre near you probably sooner than you would like: “All students enrolled in a Delaware public school may self-identify gender or race, which is maintained in the school.”

Got that Blanche? You’re a boy and you want to be a girl – poof! You’re a girl. You’re white and feel bad that you have ‘white privilege’ – poof! you’re now black. The world is insane.

Ever see an eensy weensy asterisk beside the price of a flight? Like it says $70* to fly to London. That fare usually represented a one-way ticket sans taxes and fees like the airport taxes. If you didn’t scroll down to see what that asterisk means, you could have wound up paying, oh, $600 for that $70 flight. Special eh?

A rule making that practice illegal was made. Now it seems the airlines are petitioning the US government to rescind that law. Buyer beware.

We’ll talk…

The Mystery of the Dwarf Hamster

In case you were wondering, the NAFTA talks, having just completed their sixth round, are still going nowhere fast. There is a deadline of March 31 but most betting people think that the talks will continue long after that. Unless of course, Trump gets up one morning and decides to dump Canada.

As we said before, the wrong people are sitting at the table which is causing friction where none has to be. Chrystia Freeland, the Canadian foreign minister, said that Canada had come to the table “with creative ideas we believed could move us forward.” Her creative ideas, mostly fluff coming no doubt from our prime minister are definitely not endearing to Trump, to put it mildly.

A former prime minister entered Poland’s insane debate over a new law that prohibits discussion of Polish collusion with the Nazi Holocaust, bluntly telling a leading newspaper that “of course” there were cases of Poles collaborating in the extermination of the Jews.

“Of course Poles took part,” former Polish premier Włodzimierz Cimoszewicz. Ya can’t rewrite history. It’s there in black and white.

This is going to come back and bite the Polish government you-know-where as there are Polish people who know what happened and will soon start to come forward. They will dredge up history that the Polish government would rather remain buried. This story is far from over.

In case you were wondering what’s flying with Trump and the Russians, we’ll give you the latest information. This story is getting very complicated, as some people would like it to be. Watergate was a simple issue of follow the money. This Russian collusion enquiry, going on for a over a year, has produced nothing yet.

So here’s the latest: There are more texts between that FBI lawyer and agent – the same duo (Strock and Page who were having an affair) who sent those anti-Trump messages.

Republicans say the texts suggest former President Obama was keeping very close tabs on the FBI’s investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails…and raise some questions about how involved he was. One text said Obama wanted to “know everything.” It’s unclear whether it was referring specifically to the Clinton probe or the Trump-Russia investigation. But Trump said the texts are “bombshells.” Time will tell. One thing is pretty certain. Hillary is not going to come out of this unscathed.

Further to our emotional support pets being allowed on airlines, here’s one of the more interesting stories:

A college student had to flush her emotional support dwarf hamster down the toilet after Spirit Airlines seemingly refused to let her bring her furry pet on the plane. Spirit airlines is denying the charge and she is thinking of suing the airline. This young woman needs more than a dwarf hamster to help her.

We’ll talk

Flying Noah’s Arks

When Montrealers tossed out Denis Coderre in the last election it was to be expected. He was arrogant and had grandiose plans to spend our money a la Jean Drapeau. In came Valerie Plante to save the day – a fresh new face with fresh new ideas. A people person. Montrealers were duped. Big time.

First and foremost Valerie Plante desperately needs a communications consultant as within a few months people are all saying the same thing: She is as arrogant as Coderre.

Case in point is her new ‘green’ initiative. Montreal is lucky to have a mountain (Mount Royal) right in the centre of the city. It is a beautiful east-west road. Madame Plante has unilaterally announced that as of this spring, the city will introduce a pilot projet to prevent drivers from using Mount Royal as an east-west artery.

Her office said that reducing car traffic will make Mount Royal safer for cyclists, runners and walkers. It is going to create colossal traffic jams in the city. But hey, who cares about the economy and business? Certainly not Plante.

Can we talk? That road is steeper than steep and has hairpin turns. Only the most ardent, skilled cyclists will be able to use it. Walking up that mountain? Again if one is an olympic style walker perhaps. Regular Joes? Not a chance.

Instead of putting this out for discussion, Plante is issuing edicts. And that’s why people don’t like her. Can someone please tell her that Montreal is not her personal fiefdom, even if she is the mayor? That she works for the people of Montreal who elected her. She is quickly becoming a modern day Marie Antoinette as her motto seems to be let them eat cake.

Speaking of tree-huggers, Justin Trudeau continues to spout one cringe-worthy comment after another.

He has been holding town hall meetings all over the country. In Edmonton, a questioner told Trudeau maternal love was the key to changing “the future of mankind.” In a hushed tone Trudeau interjected to say in his whispery voice: “We like to say peoplekind, not necessarily mankind. It’s more inclusive.”

Come on. It’s enough already.

We are certain that Trudeau cannot be happy his comment went viral as people are making minced-meat out of him. One of the best came from the Daily Mail in the UK:

Mankind ended last night. I know, I know, you probably didn’t realize. But it happened. A world leader publicly pronounced it dead. Yes, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau killed off ‘mankind’ because he finds the word offensive. I’m not kidding. I wish I were. Our  prime minister is quickly becoming an  international embarrassment.

Polish President Andrzej Duda said on Tuesday that he would sign into law a bill making it illegal to accuse “the Polish nation” of complicity in the Holocaust and other Nazi atrocities. Duda went even further, saying “perpetrators of such crimes shall be liable to a fine or imprisonment for up to three years.”

As Netanyahu responded, “One cannot change history, and the Holocaust cannot be denied.”

Passing a law pretending  that the Poles were not complicit with the Germans and didn’t hand over hundreds of thousands of Jews to the nazis will not make it go away. Facts are facts. They were complicit. Revisionist history is not real.

The stock market is not for the faint of heart. If you’re in it these days, stop looking at your phone every ten seconds and go read a book for the next week or so.

Airlines are quickly becoming flying Noah’s arks. For about $150 passengers can get their animal—and not just dogs or cats—certified as an emotional support animal that then gets to fly with them at no additional charge and is also not required to fly in any approved container.

No doubt Blanche, you heard last week that a woman tried to get her peacock on board citing the bird was used for emotional support.

In case you think we are kidding, wait till you have to share a seat with someone bringing their pig or giant standard poodle. Airlines are finally stepping up to the plate and requiring passengers to certify that the animals are actually trained for air travel. Then, the travelers must sign a letter of responsibility in case the animal injures other passengers or property. When it starts costing people money for their stunts, things will quickly come to a halt.

We’ll talk…

Michelle Obama aka The Drama Queen

Justin Trudeau blew the NAFTA talks before they even started. We don’t want to sound crude, nor do we want to be viewed as misogynist, because we are not. Rather, Blanche is a realist, understanding that sometimes, one has to think beyond their own ‘feelings’ to get the job done.

Chrystia Freeland is not the person to be negotiating with Trump on NAFTA. Why? Because Donald Trump likes his women pretty and young. He dislikes aggressive women who, as Freeland did this past week, disparaged him in front of many people at an open meeting. While this is certainly not one of his better qualities, to put it mildly, it is a fact.

Freeland is in a pi.sing contest with Trump that she will never win. Never. He will kill NAFTA rather than have her win on any issue. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Freeland has to go.

Alas, Trudeau doesn’t have the kahoonas to admit his mistake. It would cause his fans to think him weak in terms of women’s issues. This has nothing to do with women’s issues. This is a government issue which affects all Canadians and as such, the best person should be negotiating and Freeland is not that person. And so ladies and gentlemen, he will take the country down with him rather than lose face.

We have not used the barf bag in a very long time but it’s back thanks to Michelle Obama. Seriously, she is beyond holier-than-thou.

She was on a talk show recently and said, “To those Americans who are frightened by the current political climate: remain hopeful.” She’s the mother-of-all drama queens.

We will remind you of what she said in 2008 when her husband was running for the democratic nomination: “For the first time in my adult life, I am really proud of my country because it feels like hope is finally making a comeback.”

Her husband let down his black bros. He was unable to make decisions on many issues. And she’s telling people to remain hopeful? Democrats have no leader, no message and no money. She should be directing her hope comments to her party.

Blanche, do you know Canada’s national anthem by heart? Well, you will have to learn another version because Justin Trudeau has made our anthem gender neutral.

Instead of singing ‘in all our sons’ command, we will now be singing ‘in all of us command’. It doesn’t even make sense. There’s nothing to say except that Trudeau is very busy with everything except what he needs to be doing – governing the country.

Halftime during the super bowl is also called the big flush. That’s when everybody in North America goes to the bathroom. It’s also when millions tune to watch the halftime show.

So this year, Justin Timberlake is performing. Fifteen years ago he also performed together with Janet Jackson. Remember her ‘wardrobe malfunction’ aka nipplegate? Blanche, seriously you are dizguzting.

So the bet is will Timberlake call her back and if so, will she have a wardrobe malfunction for old times sake. We will all know on Sunday night.

Francois Legault is the head of the infamous CAQ. If an election were held in Quebec today, polls show he would win a majority. The problem is he’s an ex-separatist. The question is will people trust him once they get in the polling booth?

The answer is yes if Couillard gets rid of his pit bull in the guise of health minister Barrette. What does Barrette have on Couillard that he won’t dump him?

Michael Wolff is the author of the error-filled book “Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House. This morning he was a guest on Morning Joe.

He was called out by Mika Brzezinski for claiming in his book that he knew that Trump was having an affair but could not responsibly say with whom. Instead, Wolff coyly pointed viewers to a passage located somewhere at “the end of the book” that would single out Trump’s mistress. That someone at the end of the book turned out to be Nikki Haley.

Brzezinski kept pushing Wolff, saying that while he was having fun with a guessing game, he was playing with lives. Wolff would not back down. Brzezinski told him that on Morning Joe there’s no bs. While we don’t always agree with their stance, there really is little bs there. Wolff’s interview was abruptly ended after being severely reprimanded.

Brzezinski is correct. To suggest that someone is having an affair, obviously for financial gain, with nothing to back it up is dead wrong.

What’s a Bot Blanche?

If we are hearing this word, so is everyone else – bot. So what is it?

Well, for starters there are good and bad bots. Who knew? The term “bot” comes from robot. An Internet bot may also be known as a Web robot or WWW robot.

An example of a good bot is a search engine spider. Such bots troll the Web and index new pages for a search engine. So far so good. Now for the bad bot.

Malicious bots are typically blended threats that come as part virus/worm, part bot and are used in a identity theft or to launch denial of service attacks. Other illegal, or at least questionable uses, involve bots that harvest email addresses for spam and manipulate comments/votes on sites that allow user feedback. Now for the grey area.

Grey area bots are used by websites to promote shopping deals. In such cases, a bot will perform much like a search engine spider to index information about products on the Web.

Russia used the bad bots to manipulate comments and votes and plant fake comments to certain segments of the population, thereby affecting voting patterns. Now you know.

“Day Zero” is coming to Cape Town this April.

In one of the most environmental conscious cities in the world, after a three-year drought, considered the worst in over a century, South African officials say Cape Town is now at serious risk of becoming one of the few major cities in the world to lose piped water to homes and most businesses.

Hospitals, schools and other vital institutions will still get water, officials say, but the scale of the shut-off will be severe. Now here’s where those ‘green’ people caused a lot of harm:

The city’s water conservation measures — fixing leaks and old pipes; installing meters and adjusting tariffs — had a powerful impact. Maybe too powerful.The city conserved so much water that it postponed looking for new sources.

For years, Cape Town had been warned that it needed to increase and diversify its water supply. Almost all of its water still comes from six dams dependent on rainfall, a risky situation in an arid region with a changing climate. The dams, which were full only a few years ago, are now down to about 26 percent of capacity. Here’s a travel tip: Don’t go to Capetown in April as they are expecting riots.

Wednesday night there’s a super blue moon. For roughly 77 minutes, this supermoon will pass through the Earth’s shadow, casting a dazzling blood-orange hue over the moon. This is why lunar eclipses are sometimes referred to as “blood moons.”

Unfortunately for the east coast, this is taking place from 5:30 am until about 6:50 am. Perhaps just stay in bed and look at the pictures that others, who got up in the middle of night, took.

Intermarche, a supermarket in France, drew big crowds at several stores last week after announcing sales of the chocolate and hazelnut Nutella spread for just 1.41 euros ($1.74), some 70 per cent below the regular price. People were rioting and fighting to get their hands on a jar of this every unhealthy food.

Can we talk? Are these people out of their minds?

Say it ain’t so. Doug Ford, brother of the late illustrious mayor of Toronto Rob Ford is running for leader of the PC party of Ontario after the very quick demise of its leader Patrick Brown.

“Right now the party needs strong leadership, someone who’s ready to clean up the mess and lead us into the June election.” Let’s just say Doug and Rob Ford are of the same ilk. With his hat now in the ring, well, it’s making Ontario’s Conservative party looking, pardon the pun, like a three-ring circus.

We are guessing we are not the only ones totally confused with what’s going on with Trump, memos, leaked memos, collusion, immigration, deals, the firing the assistant at the FBI etc.

His detractors are comparing what is going on in the White House with Watergate. His supporters are saying that the Russian collusion is going on forever because, as the new saying goes, there’s no ‘there’ there.

This year the super bowl is in Minneapolis and authorities have spent over two years dealing with security issues.

Visitors can expect to see increased police patrols, bomb-sniffing dogs, helicopters, officers in tactical gear, and that chain-link and concrete fence around U.S. Bank Stadium.

Plenty of technology such as motion detectors, closed-circuit cameras and air particle sensors will be operating behind the scenes. Air particle sensors? Seriously?

Giant machines are being used to scan shipments to the stadium. Extra security cameras will be sprinkled around the city, and NFL-sanctioned events will have metal detectors. Teams will be in place to react to whatever comes up.

Here’s our tip: Stay home and watch the game from your couch with a coupla beers and some friends.

We’ll talk…

Prime Minister Trudeau Socks

Timing, as they say in life, is everything. Last night, at 9:45 pm, Patrick Brown, Ontario opposition leader, announced that he had been made aware that allegations of sexual abuse were about to be made against him. What’s so special about the timing?

An election is due in June, and it looked like Brown had it in the bag as Kathleen Wynne, Ontario’s current premier, is seriously disliked. People thought Brown might try to fight the allegations, as he said they were not true. Wait Blanche, don’t they all say that?

Well, his campaign team immediately deserted him, aides and assistants announced their resignations and a caucus revolt quickly gathered steam. Federal Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer distanced himself, saying the allegations “should be investigated fully”.

Lest you think he really is innocent, posts on social media corroborated the women’s allegations. Oh yes. One of those ‘women’ was 17 years-old. Guess he’s going to have to reinvent himself. Ya think Couillard hopes the same thing happens to Legault? Blanche, you’re dizguzting.

Does anyone care that Vladimir Guerrero is going to the baseball hall of fame as a California Angel and not an Expo? Didn’t think so.

Bernie Sanders is obviously bored. Last weekend he convened his best and brightest advisors to start getting ready in case he runs for president in 2020.

We can say with some certainty that the Democratic party will not be happy if he decides to run as a democrat. They would much rather he say he’s an independent. However, if he does that, he loses all the funding that the dems have to offer. Wait a minute. Obama bankrupted the party and is not paying the money back. Well then, maybe Zaidy Bernie should run as an independent as he’s probably getting zippo from the dems. And if he does run, he will be a spry 79 years old. Yikes.

We try really hard to find something good to say about Trudeau. Really we do. But he’s the gift that just keeps on giving.

You know Blanche, he’s in Davos hobnobbing with the very rich and very famous where he’s supposed to be making trade deals for Canada. So far so good.

Today he met with Coca-Cola chief executive James Quincey. What’s the first thing Quincey did? He gave Trudeau a pair of polar bear socks, in keeping with our prime minister’s childish penchant for themed hosiery.

Is this what we want our Prime Minster to be famous for? His socks? Not his oratory skills, not his negotiating skills, not his ability to unite the country. His socks. Can someone please remind him that he’s the prime minister of a country?

If you want to know where the ultimate tree-hugger lives, we’ll tell you. California. No surprise there.

The Democratic majority leader there, a man by the name of Ian Calderon, has introduced a bill to stop sit-down restaurants from offering customers straws with their beverages unless they specifically request one.

Under the law, a waiter who serves a drink with an unrequested straw in it would face up to 6 months in jail and a fine of up to $1,000.

We have a suggestion for Mr. Calderon. It’s time he moved to a farm and had a chat with the cows. They, more than anything else, are responsible for global warming. We will be more explicit.

A new NASA-sponsored study shows that global methane emissions – aka farting – produced by livestock are 11 percent higher than estimates made last decade. Because methane is a particularly nasty greenhouse gas, it will take a long time to combat climate change or weather events. Nothing much more to say here except when you go to California and need a straw to sip your diet coke because you want to keep your lipstick on, think again.

Punkt! The Department of Justice has recovered most of the missing 50,000 text messages between anti-Trump FBI officials Peter Strzok and Lisa Page.

Remember what we have been saying? Nothing is ever erased. Nothing.

We have a really interesting little ditty here. Kent Hehr, Canada’s minister for sports and people with disabilities, has been accused of sexually harassing female political staffers. Now, Mr. Hehr is a paraplegic, confined to a wheelchair. Obviously  however, his mouth still works.

It seems that it was well-known not to enter an elevator alone with Hehr. Can we talk?

The man is in a wheelchair. He can’t attack you in an elevator or anywhere else. If he talks ‘dirty’ and you know he does that, here a suggestion: Bring a bar of soap with you into the elevator and shove it in his mouth when he says gross things.

Hehr is a prize possession. This is not the first time his mouth has gotten him into trouble. We will refresh your memory: Last December he spoke to a group of thalidomide victims and told them to suck it up. Everybody has issues. Come to think of it, he really does need his mouth washed out with soap. Update: He resigned.

Good Shabbos
We’ll talk…

OMG – I Can’t Remember My Twitter Password…Said the Governor of Hawaii

Justin Trudeau has done it again. In the middle of the Davos talks, he announced that Canada has reached agreement on joining 11-member Trans-Pacific Partnership. Sounds good. Then he started to speak.

While Trudeau opened his remarks with trade he then veered into a mixed bag of greatest hits on gender parity, diversity, the imbalance of corporate boards, single mothers, the Canada child benefit, future women’s summits. Does he not have another speech?

How about talking about how Canada is going to define themselves on the world stage vis-a-vis this huge trade deal. He belongs as head of the United Nations department for women’s affairs. Not as Canada’s prime minister.

The FBI has ‘lost’ about five months’ worth of text messages that were exchanged between two staff members who share a common denominator: They are tied to the Russia collusion investigation of President Donald Trump — and they’re rabidly anti-Trump. Oh, and one more thing: They were having an affair.

Wait, there’s more: They were part and parcel of the Hillary Clinton email investigation that went nowhere.

Here’s something else to chew on: The time frame of ‘lost’ texts was Dec. 14, 2016, through May 17, 2017. What’s special about May 17? That’s the date House Democrats held a news conference on a reported memo by former FBI director James Comey, which claimed President Trump obstructed justice during Russia probe.

Keep reading Blanche, this gets much better.

It appears that FBI director James Comey was coordinating with Attorney General Lynch to exonerate Hillary regarding the email server that was in her house and her lost tens of thousands of emails. This decision, made in May, was seemingly well ahead of his July 5 press conference where this was announced.

Remember when Bill Clinton met with then Attorney General Loretta Lynch on the tarmac to talk about their grandchildren? Guess what? They were making sure that Hillary would never be charged with anything for pay to play or her email scandal.

Now perhaps the Russia-Trump collusion issue, which is air, will be dropped in favour of a real scandal and cover-up.

Remember that massive incoming missile alarm that went off in Hawaii about ten days ago? The one that no one could stop for almost 40 minutes? Well Gov. David Ige knew within two minutes it was a false alarm. Ah, but he couldn’t get on Twitter and tell everybody because he didn’t know his password. This is not a joke.

Can we talk? Every site that has a password has a little line underneath where you type your password that says forgot your password? When you click on that, a message goes to your email inbox in about, oh, say 10 seconds and you can create a new password.

If the governor was too distraught to change his password in an emergency, perhaps he should write down all his other passwords and give them to someone else for safekeeping. Or perhaps he should change jobs because he folds in an emergency.

For the second time in 8 months, Bell Canada is alerting about 100,000 customers that their information – like your name, phone number and email address – has been illegally accessed in a potential data breach.

Last May 1.9 million email addresses and about 1,700 names and phone numbers were stolen from Bell’s database. Here’s a tip for everyone who uses Bell:

If you get an email with a verification code to help confirm your identity with Bell, and you have not contacted Bell for any reason, or even if you did, don’t give out any information without calling Bell or the RCMP. And change your passwords.

That genius, fist-pumping I-want-a-country-for-my-children (meaning the country of Quebec) Pierre Karl Péladeau told the PQ that he’s available if they need him.

Let’s put it this way: They need him like a fish needs a raincoat.

President Trump signed a bill today imposing large tarrifs on imported solar panels and residential washing machines. Buy American made and you won’t be dinged with that tax. The result:  People will indeed start buying American again and more jobs will be created.

We’ll talk…