Monthly Archives: December 2013

The Blanche Report: Hizzoner, Bug out Bags & The Fat Lady

New York has a new Mayor by the name of Bill de Blasio. He replaced Mayor Michael Bloomberg who had that job from 2001 till 2013. The new hizzoner has not yet been formally inaugurated and already there’s an ‘issue’. His daughter, who looks to be in her twenties, decided to post a video telling the world of her substance abuse problems as well as her battle with depression and mental illness. Can we talk?

Up until her daddy was elected mayor, her problems were her own, as they should be. Why do people feel they need to share every second of their sordid life? We wish her well and hope she makes a full recovery, but it’s TMI – too much information. Perhaps she thought she would ‘fess up’ before the media got hold of her issue. Well, we can now tell Chiara that the media is going to follow her as though she were an experimental ant under a microscope. Both she and her father need some guidance and a very good media handler.

In the days before the holidays, if you ordered something online you were promised delivery by ‘the date’. Well, things didn’t exactly pan out as scheduled. According to both FedEx and UPS, bad weather coupled with too many orders got in the way of their deliveries. Lotsa people did not receive their packages on time.  Consumers were particularly upset because they could have just as easily purchased their items directly from local stores and received their items on time.

So much for neither snow nor sleet nor rain… Oh wait. Those are the postmen – uh – postpeople. Blanche – don’t ya know dat the post offices can’t deliver da mail anymore. Day gotta pay for doze pensions – ya know where dudes get paid forever and ever cause they dropped ar bill in da mailbox.

Here’s something that we bet you never heard of: A bug out bag. It’s another term for a survival kit. There were two things interesting about those kits. Number one – they are sold out on Amazon. Yikes! Number two, certain people especially on wall street are saying that adding a gun and plenty of ammunition to your water, tuna, cash and other goodies is becoming essential. Only in America.

Ever wonder what improvements the many Arab countries surrounding Israel have made for the rest of the world?
We can assure you not very many. Here’s a short list of a minute percentage of what Israel has given the world.

…A new orthodontic system developed by Israeli Aerodentis straightens the teeth through gentle pulsating force, which moves the teeth gradually during sleep.  Medical research shows this force is healthier and more efficient than applying constant pressure.

…The United Nations and the Rwandan government have selected PrePex – a non-surgical device developed by Israel’s Circ MedTech – to circumcise 700,000 Rwandan men to stop the spread of AIDS / HIV in the country.

A delegation of advertising and marketing executives from Britain came to Israel to encourage tech partnerships between the two countries.  They were shown Israeli cutting-edge technologies in the areas of visual search and exposure, social media, interactive video platforms, big data, real-time analytics, mobile advertising, content marketing and augmented reality.

We could go on and on but you get the point.

This next little ditty would be funny except that it’s actually happening. A reporter with the Weekly Standard in Washington has been trying to get onto obamacare for a week. Here’s a tidbit of his experience:

After a month of trying, I still can’t complete an application to join the D.C. Health Exchange. For a week, the Obamacare marketplace asked me to prove my citizenship, my daughter’s existence, and my fixed address in the District of Columbia, but it would not allow me to submit the requested material.

It also apparently keeps losing all of my family’s personal information, so I’m having to type my name, address, Social Security number, as well as a) a fixed address or b) whether I’m incarcerated or c) or whether am a member of an American Indian or native Alaskan federally protected tribe.

…But it’s not all bad. What I like is that I can access the D.C. exchange in twenty different languages, including Apache, Navajo, and Irish. Which is great because I see so many Irish here who have a heck of a time assimilating, what with the fact that they only speak Irish and not the King’s English.

The fat lady did not even begin to sing on this one. Stay tuned. If this thing works on January 1 it will be a miracle. If it doesn’t work, obama should stay in Hawaii.

Good Shabbos,

We’ll talk…

The Blanche Report: The Cheat Sheet, Paranoid & The Award

Princess pauline is working even though it’s her holiday. Give it a rest woman. She and her little missives created a ‘guide sheet’ and it  sent out to their members. It offers talking points on defending its own secularism charter, aka Bill 60 in case they should be questioned whilst eating their holiday dinners or sipping on an eggnog. One would think they could answer questions without a cheat sheet.

Nu Blanche – da ya think when someone at their table wearing a hijab says pass the turkey, some idiot will make them take off the hijab before passing the drumstick? We don’t think so.

We thought it appropriate to translate pass the turkey in a few languages so the PQ will not feel like they are strangers in their own homes – which they now seem to think they are. Ready? In French passer la dinde. In Swhahili –  kupita Uturuki. Now if someone at their table should happen to be, say from Turkey it’s türkiye geçmek. Do you think anyone cares? Only small-minded, backward hillbillies.

In the ‘people are paranoid’ department, here’s a good one. There was someone in a Macy’s store being followed for shoplifting. To get away, he or she threw over a rack of clothing. There was a huge noise that followed and the gzillions of people shopping thought a gun had gone off. You can guess the rest. People ran for all the exits – many carrying the clothing they were about to purchase. When the dust settled and the mall reopened after its 15 minute closing, many people had free gifts from Macy’s, unbeknownst of course to Macy’s. Only in America.

Edward Snowden is not about to disappear. Actually, he’s about to appear.
Tonight he will deliver the Alternative Holiday Address on a television station in Great Britain. This address is the channel’s answer to the Queens’ message to the country. Here is a small snippet of his address: “Great Britain’s George Orwell warned us of the danger of this kind of information. The types of collection in the book – microphones and video cameras, TVs that watch us are nothing compared to what we have available today. We have sensors in our pockets that track us everywhere we go. Think about what this means for the privacy of the average person.”

While we understand what he was trying to do and the NSA definitely overstepped their boundaries, nonetheless, there is no doubt that he put the ‘good guys’ in a precarious situation. Those who want to harm the Western world are watching all of this unfold, perhaps with some glee. Until there is some kind of balance found here, it would appear ‘they’ have the upper hand. If you see something, say something.

Remember we told you about the 40 million or so credit and debit cards that were hacked from Target over a 2 week period? Well, seems that things are a tad worse than originally thought. It appears that those who planned this  also managed to steal encrypted personal identification numbers. What does that mean? Thieves would be able to crack the encryption code and make fraudulent withdrawals from consumer bank accounts.

Those who perpetrated this had 2 weeks to shop till they dropped or, in this case to sell those credit cards numbers in a flash. We read that they were selling thousands at a time for millions of dollars. All of this had to go down with lightening speed as when people realized what was going on, they would indeed cancel their cards. Blanche, go git the credit card outta da drawer over dere and call da company. Tell em we’re mad as heck and cancelin da card.

Rob Ford, the illustrious mayor of Toronto was voted Canada’s newsmaker of the year by the Canadian Press. While we certainly understand that he himself was a flowing fountain of sound bites, we have one question. In Rob Ford’s little mind don’t you think he feels like he just won the academy award? That being newsmaker of the year is playing right into his hand? Just wait until he runs for mayor again. What you are yelling into your computer – he’s going to run again?? You betcha he is. And guess what? He may just win. This award is certainly going to be a big boost to that big ego of his.

The world’s biggest phone giant has signed a deal with the world’s most populated country.
Well, almost the biggest phone giant and almost the most populated country. Apple has announced a deal that ensures iPhones will be available in China on the the world’s largest mobile network. It means the phone will be available to more than 760 million subscribers to China Mobile. Some analysts predict up to 20 million iPhones could be sold in the first year of the deal.

If you noticed the discrepancy between 760 million and 20 million it’s because there is one. Most people in China are dirt poor and cannot afford any phone – let alone an iPhone. Nonetheless, both Apple and China Mobile will be raking in the bucks – don’t you worry.

We’ll talk…

The Blanche Report: Happy Trails to You, Until We Meet Again

Ever hear of  Deepak Chopra? He’s Canada Post chief executive. Today he aligned himself with the likes of Rob Ford or perhaps surpassed him in stupid comments.

In case you didn’t know, the entire country of Canada is going to lose home mail delivery in about a year. Where we will be picking up our mail is anyone’s guess. The street may be littered with those ugly steel small boxes. But there’s a larger issue, that of seniors. Canada is a northern country and as such we have winters complete with icy sidewalks and lots of snow.  Loss of home mail delivery will become an issue for the elderly. And in case you didn’t remember, gzillions of  baby-boomers are entering their ‘golden years.’ Now here’s what the genius Chopra said:

Seniors are welcoming the loss of getting their mail directly to their homes because…they want to be more healthy. Right. So if they have to walk to their outside mail box a block or two from their house on a icy sidewalk that will keep them ‘robust’. While you shake your head and wonder if he’s one flake short of a box of cereal, we will remind you that he gets paid rather handsomely for his position. Just goes to show that even morons can rise up the ranks.

And speaking of Rob Ford, he opened his mouth again today. Would you say the man has an obsession with getting himself into the media? When asked what he was getting his wife for the holidays he responded, “Just money. Women love money. Give them a couple of thousand bucks and they’re happy.” Imagine living with this buffoon? Oy.

In case you were thinking of going shopping to, say Target, you may want to reconsider. Credit card data connected to about 40 million credit and debit card accounts was stolen as part of a breach that began over the Thanksgiving weekend. The stolen data included customer names, credit and debit card numbers, card expiration dates and the embedded code on the magnetic strip on back of the card. Online purchases were not affected. Here’s the kicker: This breach of security took place from November 27 until December 15. It was not noticed for all that time.

We have some sage advice for you. Get into your pajamas, curl up on your favorite couch with a nice cuppa tea and shop online.

Remember Obama eagerly jumping up the steps of the stadium during the Mandela memorial to shake Raul Castro’s hand? Well, here’s a little tidbit about what is going on in Cuba. For the first time since the 1959 revolution, Cubans will have the right to buy new and used vehicles from the state without government permission. Officials lauded that this was yet another step toward greater economic freedom on the communist-led island. Lest you think the Cuban people may become spoiled by this new measure, don’t worry. The government is going to introduce these new measures gradually so as not to give the people a sense of ‘enrichment.’

In case you haven’t seen any pictures of Cuba recently, we’ll tell you that they are still driving Pontiacs, Corvairs and Valiants.  Doesn’t Obama look like a genius now?

A US Air Force General in charge of nuclear weapons repeatedly drank too much and behaved like a boor last summer during an official trip to Moscow, where he insulted his Russian hosts and hung out with two suspicious women he met at a hotel bar.  Gulp.

General Michael Carey’s behavior stunned his aides and other colleagues traveling with him for a nuclear security exercise and meetings with Russian officials. They said he started drinking during a stopover in Zurich and kept it up during three days in Moscow, causing a string of gaffes and embarrassments that led Air Force officials to relieve him of his command. Although he was removed from his command job – doink – he retains his rank and does not face any other disciplinary measures.  Who the heck is minding the store in the land of the free and the home of the brave?

As many people will be traveling by plane this time of year, we thought it apropos to remind you of the list of the seven worst people to sit next to on a plane and how you can deal with them:

1. The crying baby. Always travel with earplugs.
2. The smelly person. Always bring a scarf.
3. The talker. Those earplugs again.
4. A person with a cold. Give them your sleeping pill. Always better a sleeping sicky than an awake one.
5. The head lolling sleeper. Take an extra dose of benadryl so you won’t care.
6. The pastrami sandwich carry-on. Bring aroma oil to sniff or spray him with farbreeze.
7. The drunk person. You’re toast.

Good Shabbos and happy trails,

We’ll talk…


Creolegate. Yup. That’s what we have now. Two dudes who work in a hospital were eating lunch – on their own time – and having a conversation in their Haitian native language of Creole. Sitting nearby was a french person who became incensed that those two workers were speaking something other than french. Before you can say princess pauline, she was told about this ‘incident’. 
The hospital was ‘warned’ that if this happens again they will be fined $20,000. Can we talk? 
The average level of intelligence of many french speaking quebcois in this province must be well, well below the average. If all they can think about is who is speaking french their brains are obviously fried.  Have you not had enough of their language laws, their language police, their idiotic charter of values – which is really a charter of racism.  
We will remind you of an older movie called Network where the lead actor leaned out a window and said, ‘I’M MAD AS H.LL AND NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE.’ Let’s all lean out our windows (when it gets a bit warmer Blanche) and yell this at the top of our lungs. Small-minded, stupid people run this place. Intelligent people must come forward and move those with personal agendas out of the way. Far, far out of the way. 
There’s are two large apartment buildings in a suburb of our city with no heat. They haven’t had heat for almost a month. Today the temperature dropped well below 0. We wonder (in our warm and cozy house) how the city allows an owner to get away with this. Is the entire city and its suburbs completely corrupt? Is everyone on the take? If not, where is the mayor of that municipality and why is he not forcing the landlord to fix the heat within 24 hours or the city will do it and he will get the bill. Banana republic. We live in a banana republic. 
Rob Ford could be the biggest idiot – well, second only to our idiots here – in politics. He recently called a Sun Times reporter a pedophile. The reporter said that if Ford did not retract that statement he would sue him for liable. Well today Ford apologized – Ford style. He said he was sorry for what he said. The reporter said – not enough dude. You are not really sorry. You’re sorry Ford style. 
The reporter wanted Ford to say he apologized  because ” I said false, damaging, and unfounded things, and here they are…” Looks like Ford best start amassing a small fortune for all the lawyers he is going to have to be paying on many fronts. 
Going to Shanghai anytime soon? Best read this. Due to the extreme smog and resulting low visibility, pilots will need to be rated to land
airplanes using the ‘precision auto-landing instruments’. Simultaneous translation: They will have to learn to land ‘blind’ without seeing the runway until they are basically on it. Yikes!

Here we go again. Obama is taking a holiday and Americans are paying for it. All of the Obamas including their dawgs are off to sunny Hawaii. Michelle already left to set things up. The cost for an early departure: $100,000. A cargo plane is also needed to bring Presidential limos, helicopters and other essentials along.  Essentials? Toothpaste is an essential. Helicopters? Spare us. 

Then there’s security for the president and his family. A team of between four and six Marine Corps will travel along on a separate flight and require per diem and hotel, coming in at $258,000. 

The Obamas do cover the expense for their own private beach-front home in Kailua, Oahu, which costs up to $3,500 per day ($75,000 per month). (What’s that you say – you heard him say he understands the ‘little people?’ Dream on.) However, taxpayers are responsible for housing monies associated with the U.S. Secret Service, Coast Guart and Navy Seals. There are seven houses needed to accommodate these individuals, which amounts to about $21,600 per home. 

Obama needs to run away. He is facing his fifth year in office with the lowest approval ratings at this point in the presidency since President Richard Nixon – at 43%. Only Nixon went lower than that during Watergate with a 29% rating. If Obamacare keeps going the way it is, Obama may actually win the prize on this.  Blanche – go git the barf bag – the big one. Feh. 

Remember we told you that last weekend was the anniversary of the Sandy Hook school shootings? Now guess what the most popular gift is this year in Florida? If you guessed guns you are correct. Now get this: The National Rifle Association said that in addition to buying firearms as gifts, gun sales have grown due to the improved economy. What one thing has to do with the other is beyond our capacity of understanding. What we can tell you is that Americans are not about to change their ways anytime soon – no matter how many children are killed by guns. Oy. 

We’ll talk…

The Blanche Report: Extremists, Baseball & An Anniversary

Today the extreme of extreme Quebecers came forward – the Jean Baptist society to be exact – with some asinine accusations amongst them accusing CJAD of being a Quebec anglo radio garbage can. They said pastagate was just an excuse to drag Quebec’s name through the mud all over the world. But the best is that they say that Francophones here are under constant attack and are planning a road-trip across Canada to make Canadians aware of their plight.

We think that these dudes may have temporarily forgotten that we still live in a democracy and  freedom of speech is  part of that. Censorship is not part of our vocabulary.

The other thing is the silence of Phillip Couillard. Where the ‘h’ is he? Why isn’t he making mincemeat of these ridiculous people? He best get his act together – quickly.

Baseball is Montreal? Give us a break. A report was done jointly by Ernst and Young and the Montreal Board of Trade. They came up with the following: The cost of building a new downtown stadium would be about $500 million with $335 million coming from the government; but all of that would be recouped within eight years. We will remind you that the government has a deficit of about $2 billion. Recouping within 8 years? We have swampland in Florida for you. Oh wait – we have a bridge to sell you.

Ladies and gentlemen – read point number one in this news blog. Then read point number two. Someone or everyone in these stories is delusional.

If Moishe Schwartz  bought Canada Post it would be called Schwartz Post. Would it would lose money? We think not.

In today’s paper they very politely showed you Canada Post by the numbers. We’ll give you a few other numbers: How about 3 ‘Group’ Presidents and – ready – 19 Vice Presidents. Blanche – you’re kidding right? Nope. Now read on for the real problem – the pensions.

Like we keep saying – go work for the government. You toil for a few years and then get paid for the rest of your life. Canada Post is a blatant example of this. Not do be demeaning, but one does not have to be a rocket scientist to deliver the mail. Oh, there may be the occasional biting dog, but that’s about it. Ah, but when you retire you get to live off the fat of the land.

Sounds like the government is floating a balloon to see the reaction of the public. We say – get rid of the pensions and move on.

Unless you’ve been curled up in your sleeping bag for the past two days, you know that the dude doing the sign language at the Mandela memorial was a fraud – he had no clue how to do sign language. He stood on stage three feet from Obama, wildly gesturing his arms doing nothing but that – wildly gesturing.  It gets better. He now says he’s schizophrenic and was not taking his meds. No kidding.

Savor this little ditty: A new smartphone game has been developed making fun of the charter of values. It asks players to touch the animated characters’ headgear – ie – turban, kippah and hijab. The best is how you win:  The last level is the premier, and she has a pot on her head, referring to Pauline Marois’s participation in the casseroles demonstrations during the 2012 student protests. You have to tap the pot as many times as you can and swipe it off of her head and then you win! We love this game!!! And it’s available in English and French. Phew.

In a mock presidential poll, Hilary Clinton and Chris Christie (Governor of New Jersey) were neck and neck. Although the election is still two years away, these two are by far the front runners – should they choose to run.

If Joe Biden tried to run against Hilary for the Democratic presidential nomination, he would lose by a landslide. Best he start planning his speaking tours.

The dude running North Korea, Kim Jong Un is someone to be very wary of. Today he had his uncle executed, saying that he was a traitor and worse than a dog. One thing is for sure – the uncle ain’t barking anymore.

Saturday is the anniversary of the horrific Sandy Hook elementary massacre. There’s not much to say. The gun laws never changed and the rest of the world went on with their lives. There is something to do. Pray.  For peace in the world, for an end to bloodshed, for those who need emotional and physical healing.

Good Shabbos,

We’ll talk….

The Blanche Report: Reading Between the Lines, Soul-Crushing Cold & Selfies

Anyone who fell for the CAQ’s ‘we’re not separatists anymore’ line in the last election should be hanging their head today. The truth is you should have started quite a while ago. We don’t want to bust your bubble, but once a separatist always a separatist. We are speaking of Francois Legault, leader of the CAQ. And guess what – because so many people voted for the CAQ, the Liberals lost and the PQ won. Simple as that. The CAQ split the vote.

Monsieur Legault says if his party’s conditions are met it could prop-up the Parti Quebecois in the spring budget, ensuring the survival of the minority government. Wait, it gets better. If the changes they propose for the charter of values are accepted by princess pauline, they will support that as well.

Can we talk? When we get to another election – which we will sooner or later –  pay attention. You may not like the Liberals and you may blame them for much of what is transpiring here today and you may be right, but we’re still better off with them than the PQ.  And don’t fall for another ‘ex’ separatist.

Ever hear of ‘soul-crushing’ cold? In East Antarctica the temperature fell to -135.8 Fahrenheit or for you young’uns, 93.5 c below zero. NASA reported that Earth set a new record for the coldest day. So what does it have to do with us? It’s about to get very cold here, thankfully not as cold as Antarctica, but cold enough to invest in long underwears. Hehehehehe.

At the Mandela memorial today, Obama outdid himself – not only with his speech. After he finished he went out of his way to bounce up some stairs and shake the hand of Raul Castro, Fidel’s little brother. Seems Obama got caught up in the moment of forgiveness and reconciliation.

To put things into perspective, the United States has not had diplomatic relations with Cuba for 50 years and this is the first time the two men ever met. Oh, and one more thing. Cuba is a totalitarian state with ties to many terrorist organizations.

Obama was very busy at the memorial. Seems he was seated next to a blonde who happened to be the Prime Minister of Denmark. Zut alors before you could say take a picture, Obama took a selfie with both British Prime Minister David Cameron (who was seated on his other side) and Denmark’s Prime Minister. The funny part about that picture is the snapshot someone got of Michelle’s face as her husband is busy with his phone. She was not included in the selfie and looked like she wanted to kill her husband. Oops.

Here’s something worth reading. It’s an article that appeared in today’s National Post entitled Imagining Montreal as a City State. Although the key word right now is imagining, stranger things have happened. The idea is fantastic. It now needs a strong, passionate person to step up to the plate, take the reins and lead the troops.  Oh, and by the way, there is a group who is passionate about it. It’s called Critiq. Google it –    Here’s the link to the column:

Remember that gorgeous glass tree that sat in front of Montreal’s museum of fine arts all summer? In case you haven’t noticed, it’s gone. Well, the city is trying to buy it and leave it there permanently. The cost? Between $500,000 and $1million. We’ll keep you posted.

In case you were planning to go the olympic games in Sochi, may we suggest you stay away from the ‘protest zones’. Yes Blanche, Russia will set up public protest zones in Sochi during the Winter Olympics, a move unlikely to defuse criticism of the country’s human rights record. We loved this next quote from some official: “This is a measure we welcome, so that everybody can express his or her free opinion.” In Russia? Free expression of opinion? Come on.

We’ll talk…

The Blanche Report: Good Morning America, Ford & Your Tax Dollars

Good morning America. Al Sharpton and other civil rights leaders have launched a social media campaign to try and stop the knockout game. About time they woke up, eh? Had they read Blanche a couple of weeks ago they would have had a head start.

The civil rights leaders particularly want to stop the targeting of Jews. Although reports of knockout game attacks have been reported around the country they have been concentrated in Brooklyn.

Russell Simmon, a very successful black hip hop dude said the following to those he hopes will listen to him: ‘This knockout game is some bulls**t. I mean, it’s terrible. I mean, how come you all want to hit people that look like they’ve got on devotional clothing and might not hit you back? Why don’t you hit somebody that might hit you back? I mean, the knockout game is for cowards.”

Right now we are not sure which place is worse to live in – here where they are outright bigots and racists or in America where you can’t walk in the street without fearing a punch in the face.

Barack Obama is a real politician. How do we know? Because last year he said one thing and this year he admitted that maybe his memory had failed him. In other words, he lied.

Today he acknowledged that he lived with his Kenyan uncle for a brief period in the 1980s while preparing to attend Harvard Law School, contradicting a statement more than a year ago that the White House had no record of the two ever meeting.

Now get this: A White House spokesperson said after that year, they saw each other once every few months, but after law school they fell out of touch. The president has not seen him in 20 years, has not spoken with him in 10 years. Close family. Doesn’t say much for his family values, eh?

Rob Ford is back in the news. Before we tell you why, did you know that Ford received more media coverage than any other news story since the turn of the century. If he would have had to pay for all the media space it would have cost him $1.1 billion. Dat’s a lotta coverage Blanche.

Now for the latest bombshell: Allegations revealed in newly released police documents that he attempted to buy the famous video showing him smoking something for $5,000 and a car.  There were other allegations as well and, as per Ford’s usual mantra, he is denying everything.

We are not too sure how reliable his response is as he denied that he was in the original video and after tremendous pressure, recanted. The best is when asked what his future in politics was, Ford promised “the future is that I’m getting reelected.” He may be right as so far, with all the allegations, videos and statements, the police have yet to charge him with anything.

May we suggest that for the time being you refrain from buying a house on the south shore of Montreal.
That’s the place where you have to cross the Champlain bridge to get to. Now that the super-girder is holding up the bridge – for now – one would think that people living out there could breathe a bit easier. Think again.

There is a metro line that goes to the south shore called the Yellow line. When the traffic on the bridge became a 3 hour nightmare, people started taking the metro. Smart, eh? Well, in a spectacularly genius move, the Montreal transport commission aka STM decided that line needs $10 million worth of work which they will be doing beginning in March 2014. Here’s the genius move: they will be closing that metro line for 25 weekends.

Hello??? Now they decide the metro needs work? The stupidity or complete lack of communication or both of the bureaucrats in this province is nothing less than mind-boggling. Wait – it gets better. You pay their salaries.

And speaking of salaries, we have decided that there is no corner in this province that is not on the take or giving away your money.
The case in point here is Andre Boisclair. In case you forgot who he is, we’ll remind you. He used to be Quebec’s representative in New York, the plushiest position one can have. Unfortunately for him, he was caught taking some kind of illegal substance (did you say cocaine?) and had to resign to prove his innocence. Well, those who run the Quebec government think he is a very smart person and therefore needed a job – quickly.

Here’s what they gave him: He will head up a committee with a particular focus on Quebec’s north, in the region governed by the James Bay and Northern Quebec Agreement and how the environment is doing up there. Yes, Blanche, again you read that right. Wait! It gets better.

He doesn’t have to actually live in the north. He can visit once in a while and still get paid. Oh yes – the paycheck. His predecessor was paid $90,000 per year.  But Boisclair is SO SMART that he’s getting paid $170,000! Where is everyone????? Why is this government allowed to use your tax dollars to give presents to their friends – right in front of your face???

We always like the save the juiciest bit for last. In 1998 – that’s 15 years ago, princess pauline was the education minister.
At that time she wrote a paper defending the right to wear religious symbols, encouraging school boards to welcome diversity. Yes. The same princess pauline who now says the exact opposite. Now she says diversity is a bad thing ergo wearing religious symbols is verboten. Pass the barf bag Blanche.

Good Shabbos,

We’ll talk…

The Blanche Report: White Elephants, Birthers & Obscene Tolls

So what is the biggest white elephant in Canada? If you guessed Montreal’s Big O – aka the Olympic stadium you win the prize. We have said on more than one occasion that they should set up seats around the perimeter and blow it up. But no, it seems they may want to pour more money into it. Last year there were 1200 rips in the roof. This year – 3400. Obviously it cannot withstand any kind of weather – summer or winter.

Maybe now that we have a new mayor who actually seems to know what he’s doing, he will take five minutes to figure out that nothing will ever fix that roof. Stay tuned – we may have some tickets to sell you.

Who is Onyango “Omar” Obama? Ok, it’s not that hard if you recognize the last name. It’s Obama’s uncle. Seems he was going to be deported until he invoked the name of his nephew. Originally from Kenya, he had a student visa that expired in 1970 and since then has been living in the United States. Oops – he needed something more current wouldn’t you say?

He also dropped a mini-bombshell contradicting his nephew saying that Barack lived with him in Cambridge for three weeks while the future president was a student at Harvard Law School in the late 1980s. Watch out for those birthers – the ones who say Obama wasn’t born in the USA and therefore should not be president. They’re acomin back.

Can you imagine spending $100 to drive over a bridge or through a tunnel? Well, as of Sunday, that is the new reality for truckers driving into Manhattan over the GWB otherwise known as the George Washington Bridge.  This will be the third of five toll increases passed since 2011. It means only a 75 cent increase for car drivers using E-ZPass. For cash paying truckers, on the other hand, it means a $12 hike, taking them from $90 per crossing to $102 just to cross the George Washington Bridge.

Getting nervous about the new tolls about to come here with the coming of the new Champlain Bridge?

And speaking about the new bridge, we really hope those designing it will make it at least 4 lanes wide in each direction.
It is the busiest bridge in all of Canada. We also hope that the engineers are not related in any way to anyone who designed the metropolitan here. That’s a piece of work, eh?

We have no doubt you will want to be a fly on the wall when Conrad Black interviews Rob Ford. Now that’s going to be quite the interview. One thing we can say with certainty – Rob Ford would not have consented to be interviewed unless he knew the interviewer was in his corner. And so, here’s a quote from Black: “…”a very large number of other people” smoke crack occasionally. As Perry Mason would say, the defense rests.

Not that we are baseball aficionados, but honestly, something’s wrong with this picture. The New York Yankees signed a seven-year deal with free agent outfielder Jacoby Ellsbury Tuesday night for $153 million. Are baseball players worth more than a surgeon who can save your life, or a nurse who can tend to you when you are helpless or a teacher who molds your children? No sports player, no matter how good he is, is worth that kind of money.

If you are planning to fly anywhere over the holidays we have some news for you
. You know those TSA agents (Transport Security Agents) in US airports? The ones who when they put on a uniform suddenly become a somebody. Well, they’re soon becoming a nobody.

Those in a program called SPOT – Screening of Passengers by Observation Techniques have been unsuccessful in finding the bad guys. Very unsuccessful. And there are 3,000 of those agents costing a cool $900 million a year. The government said they are going to reassess all programs and agents. Good morning America. May we suggest that they call the Israeli government? They seem to have this deal down pat.

We’ll talk…