Monthly Archives: October 2014

I Can See Russia From My Window!

Security will be increased at various federal government buildings in Washington and other major American cities, the Homeland Security Department announced.  No rocket science there.

Whether last week’s murders and shooting inside our Parliament buildings was done by someone deranged, radicalized or both is only part of this issue. We’re lucky he didn’t have a semi-automatic gun which shoots 100 rounds in what, 10 seconds? Jeh Johnson (yup, that’s his name) said that the type of security would not be made public. Really? He doesn’t want isis to know what they’re doing? Blanche could be the homeland security secretary to say that.

While we are not prudish, we cannot come to ourselves regarding the, shall we say, overly animated intimate antics of one Jian Ghomeshi.
In case you don’t live in Canada and are not one of the three people listening to the CBC, Ghomeshi was their top announcer. He had a show called Q which was syndicated in the US.

His bedroom gymnastics (to put it gently) have gotten him into a pile of trouble. The details are sordid and it’s pretty well impossible to figure out who’s telling the truth. Two things are certain: He’s done at the CBC and he’s suing them for $50 million. He will surface somewhere because he’s very good at what he does, but it will take a while for the sheets to fold. Hehehehehehe.

Russian roulette anyone? Yes Blanche, seems that every time you decide to cross the Champlain bridge here in Montreal you are in fact playing russian roulette.
Don’t panic on the titanic. Uh, maybe not the best analogy. Don’t worry, the bridge isn’t collapsing, but it is in desperate need of a planned implosion.

There was an oddly frank report in today’s paper about the abysmal condition of the bridge with the accompanying picture  worth a thousand words. From the sounds of what was written, that bridge is not long for this world.

Beams held together with something called carbon fibre which is compared to duct tape, 24 hour monitoring of the stress each beam. If there’s too much stress an alarm is sent to engineers on their cell phone – day or night; 150 workers daily maintaining some stability. Let’s just hope the cost of the next bridge doesn’t include graft, envelopes and ‘interesting’ contracts to ‘interesting’ people who don’t have a CLUE what they are doing.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Rob and Doug Ford show is over. John Tory is Toronto’s new mayor. The only thing we know about him is that he has lotsa money because his grandfather was one of the founders of the Sun Life Insurance company.  Ya won’t be seeing any lurid videos of this dude. Rather – James, please prepare the martinis with two olives and a hint of vermouth.

Here’s something to keep your eyes out for – no joke. People dressed as clowns are attacking random passersby. Just like that and for no reason. It started in Paris and has moved to the United States. Trick or treat.

If anyone thinks Chris Christie has a thread of hope in the run for President, his big New Jersey mouth may just ruin his chances. This guy is a train wreck waiting to happen. A nurse returning from Sierre Leone working for doctors without borders was quarantined in a plastic tent for 3 days  and treated rather poorly, to put it mildly. She was forced to wear paper scrubs in an unheated tent. Christie’s response: “She had access to the internet and we brought her takeout food.” Wait, it gets better. When she said she was going to sue him he said,”Whatever, get in line,” he said. “I’ve been sued lots of times before. Get in line.” What a loser.

Don’t say Blanche doesn’t provide you with some humor as well as the news. Sarah Palin – remember her? She ran for Vice President of the United States and said, allegedly, that she could almost see Russia from her window. Well, she said she might run again: “The more they pour on, the more I’m going to bug the crap out of them by being out there with the voice, with the message, hopefully running for office again in the future.” Stay tuned. The American election is in 2016 but the fun begins in 2015.

We’ll talk…

And So It Goes

We are taking our cues from our Prime Minister. Carry on. Be vigilant, share your emotions  but keep going.

While we were dealing with Ottawa yesterday, in Washington yet another brainwave jumped the fence near the White House. This person was especially brilliant as he was immediately caught and then proceeded to fight with the secret service dogs. Like he was going to win.

Every nutcase who has an inkling do to something that would garner them attention is coming out of the woodwork. Notice it’s always he. ‘She’s’ are rare in this venue.

We watched the video of yesterday’s terrorist as he hijacked a minister’s car and sped toward parliament. Chilling. What is incredulous is that he didn’t kill anyone on his way. He could have easily shot whoever was driving that car as well as many people on the street.

One thing we can tell you – nothing you do is private. We watched a few angles of the same sequence of events and found the footage on every media outlet.

Can we talk about the police in our city, specifically about their pants? Given the events of the past week both here and abroad, doesn’t it strike you as juvenile that our police force are wearing army pants as a protest against their contract talks? It’s time to get a grip.

Put on your uniform like big boys and girls and let the union leaders and government work out an agreement. They are demeaning themselves and are an embarrassment to our city.

Things in Jerusalem are quietly heating up. What is now termed the ‘silent intifada’ must come to an end, said Jerusalem’s mayor Nir Barkat. He can’t be happy as this past summer’s tourist industry was basically nil and we’re pretty sure he doesn’t want to lose the Chanukah/winter season.  The city is basically held hostage by looting, rioting arabs.

Then today, the hamas leader (we won’t write his name) praised the murder of the baby Chaya. This is after Israeli doctors treated his daughter and some other relatives. Although it goes completely against our nature to allow people to suffer, obviously including our enemies, it’s time to pull the plug. Their families are sick and need care? Go to a hospital in Gaza or Syria or Egypt.

One of the means they are using to do this are observation balloons. The balloons, equipped with cameras, beam high resolution pictures of the areas to police, who can analyze them and take action to prevent small incidents from getting out of hand.

Sounds like we could use some of those balloons here. Imagine if we had them during the student protests a couple of years ago? Princess pauline would have been on camera marching with her pots. On second thought, never mind. That face? Feh. Remember that sick smile? It would have burst the balloon.

New York is slowly working itself into a tizzy as it appears a doctor who was in Guinea tending ebola patients is now in Bellevue hospital with some acute ebola symptoms. Could be he just has the flu but it could also be that he’s got the real deal. He said he put himself in quarantine but was seen in a bowling alley on Wednesday in Williamsburg. A bowling alley? When was the last time you went bowling? We digress. Besides bowling, he took an Uber car. For a doctor he’s not too smart eh?

In a very quiet posting which we heard on a US radio station, Apple’s iCloud storage service in China was attacked by hackers trying to steal user credentials.
They believe that Beijing is behind the hacking. After that Apple told users to never enter their iCloud password if they get warnings about invalid digital certificates when visiting www.icloud.com. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Keeping you in the loop, the world series is happening. Kansas City Royals vs San Francisco Giants. They are tied at one win each.

Keep safe. Good Shabbos,

We’ll talk…

Our World…

Our world. What exactly can one say about a day in our world when innocent people are randomly murdered, others gravely injured? In Ottawa a young soldier slain in cold blood at point blank range, in Israel a three month old baby named Chaya killed by a lunatic arab, her father in grave condition.

No longer do those who perpetrate these crimes belong to any official organization, easily identified. These are lone operators who attach themselves online to a dark world that we simply cannot fathom. They live in our neighborhoods and shop in our stores.

We are extremely fond of Stephen Harper, our prime minister, but somehow, feel that we should have heard from him during the day. In such a time we need to see open leadership. Hunkering down in your office until the dust settles and you have all the information shows a lack of sensitivity to the uncertainty that people are feeling. And…they should round up those 90 people that they have identified and lock them up for whatever reasons they can think of. Instead of re-acting, it is time to act.

So what can we do? One thing we must do is continue living our lives, not cower in the face of people hell bent on destroying our free and democratic society. In the end, as history bears out, the truth will prevail. Our purpose and resolve must remain stronger than ever, allowing our decent values and morals to guide us.

We pray for those who have been injured. We pray that our leaders find the wisdom to guide us. We pray for peace in our world.

Leon Klinghoffer, of blessed memory

By ‘accident’, American weapons that were supposed to go to the Kurds were dropped into areas controlled by isis. Oops. Seems that isis sent the US a  thank you note. Not much to say here.

Yet another ‘angry’ young man (now a dead angry young man) was radicalized online all by himself. The government knew enough about him to cancel his passport when he tried to go to Turkey last summer. He changed his name to achmed and became a muslim. We just found out that quietly, Canada’s terrorist level was raised on Friday, before this happened. It also seems that there are about another 90 or so losers like this one roaming around Canada. Entre nous, there’s not much one can do to stop a deranged person from doing something that he knows will get him killed.  The world is going to he.l in a handbasket. Keep reading.

If you have a Toyota corolla or matrix built between 2001 and 2004, especially if you live in Florida, don’t sit in the passenger seat. Seems under continuous high humidity conditions, the air bags on that side can inflate improperly and blast what amounts to shrapnel through the cover and into the vehicle’s occupants. Nice eh? Hey you don’t have to go to Afghanistan experience a war. Just sit in the front seat of your car.

Wait, it gets better. You get a free sign. If they don’t have parts in stock, dealers will hang a warning label on the glove box door saying that nobody should ride in the front passenger seat until the cars are fixed. Now don’t you feel better?

Back to some local politics. Here in Quebec PKP – Pierre Karl Peladeau – views himself as sort of a monarch-in-training. He has decided that he does not have to answer any questions posed to him by reporters, stating that whatever pearls he wants to communicate will only be done on facebook. Oh really now. Best he look back a few months. His predecessor, none other than princess pauline, tried the same tactic of refusing to speak to the press when she called an election. He should take a good look at where she is now.

Canada Post is slowly fazing out home delivery. Primitive dawling.  Now get this: They gave the contract to make the community mailboxes to a company Kansas. And Kansas is in the US, not Canada. Kind of like pouring salt into a wound.

We did a bit of investigative work and found out that the postal service has been profitable for 16 of the past 17 years. The only year the corporation posted a deficit was 2011, the year employees were locked out. So what’s the deal with cutting home mail delivery? True, most of people’s bills come online. But still. We don’t live in Florida with a temperate climate. We have winter, ice, snow, sleet, slush and freezing temperatures. Blanche – go git da sled. We gotta git da mail in da box at da end of da street. And make sure da blades on dat sled dere are sharp. We don’t wanna get stuck somewhere in da freezing cold near dat ugly mailbox. Ya never know who’s comin to git their goods. Hehehe.

We are weighing in on the opera at the Metropolitan Opera called the Death of Klinghoffer. We’ll jog your memory. In 1985 the terrorist organization  PLO hijacked the passenger liner the Achille Lauro. Leon Klinghoffer, an American Jew confined to a wheelchair was thrown off the ship by the terrorists and killed.

While we are all for free speech, free singing, free dancing and free opera, we cannot fathom what good will come from this opera. Watching a handicapped man get thrown off a cruise ship to his death, probably about 8 stories high, is nothing to sing about. It was a sheer act of terrorism which should not be glorified in any way, shape or form. Isn’t it about time that freedom of speech be given also to those who can no longer speak for themselves – like Leon Klinghoffer? Does anyone think that he would want his death sung about in an opera as a show? Someone needs to bring the world back to its senses.

Gotta Love those Vinyl Gloves

It appears that the ebola virus is highlighting the sad state of affairs in the US health system. Aside from New York and Los Angeles, most cities have cut budgets so much that their emergency preparedness is sorely lacking. This was blatantly evident in Atlanta when the late ground zero patient was initially sent home after stating specifically that he had been to Liberia.

In Miami, someone who been to one of those African countries affected breezed through US customs like he was coming from the supermarket down the street.

We saved the best part for last here. Guess who’s taking this very seriously? The airlines. And guess what that means for you? Longer lines.

The screening procedures will consist of targeted questions, temperature checks, and collecting contact information from travelers of affected areas. Targeted questions means they ask you where you were, with whom did you come in contact, did anyone have ebola.

Can we talk? If someone wants to get into the US all they have to do is say no to all of the above. It takes about 15 days for the symptoms to come out. So if some dude coming from Liberia or Dubai, Abu Dhabi, and Doha answers negative to those questions poof! they’re in the US. Not sure what’s going to work here. Careful when you fly, visit people in the hospital, ride the subway – you get the picture. Maybe bring those vinyl gloves along with you. And of course don’t breathe in.

Even though Mitt Romney says he’s not running for the 2016 presidential elections – so far – he’s ahead in the polls. His nearest rival is Ben Carson. Who the heck is that you ask? He’s a doctor and Conservative activist. In case you think this is a fabrication, think again. The National Draft Ben Carson for President Committee announced last month that supporters had donated nearly $10 million in the effort to convince Mr. Carson to run in 2016.

We have an idea. If he doesn’t run, can we be in the running for some of that money?

Did you notice that the korean leader, Kim Jong Un was MIA for about six weeks. Rumors abounded that he was dead, had a fatal illness or had some gout. Whatever happened, no one missed him or cared he wasn’t around.

A woman in Singapore went to buy some pizza and noticed when she went to pay her bill that there was a marking on the bottom to delineate her pizza from everyone else’s. It said, fat pink lady. Well, she got her knickers in a snit and of course went onto facebook. At first the company issued an apology. Then someone else posted something from the company that she’s doing this for free pizza. The best post we saw? It ain’t over till the pink fat lady sings. Or gets her free pizza.

People who text and drive need a big punishment. Demerit points and fines don’t seem to be working. We have a suggestion: take their phones away for a month. Toodles, tata, arividerici. You’ll see how fast they will obey the law after that. How many people drive after having their drivers license taken away? Lots. Nothing will work except the ultimate punishment for those people.

Those news tidbits about ‘that’ trial are nauseating, useless and a total waste of time. We wish someone would step up to the plate and tell those who are reporting to go find something else to do. Come back once the trial is over and just give us the verdict. Honestly, no one wants to hear any details. It’s not news and totally irrelevant.

Blanche is off for the final Thursday holiday. Next week back to our regularly scheduled events.

We’ll talk…