Monthly Archives: June 2015

Mawtha, Mawtha, Mawtha

Mawtha, Mawtha, Mawtha. We are of course referring to Martha Stewart who this past week sold her media company for a mere $353 million. Lest we sound like this is chump change, we assure you it is not. However  when Mawtha was at her peak, Omnimedia was worth well over $1 billion. How the mighty fall.

We have a feeling that had she not sold out now, she would have received much less that what she just got. We used to be a serious Mawtha fan, but over the years as her magazines become boring and she became more obnoxious and we let our subscription lapse. Who knows what will become of all those ‘good things’.

Those two dudes who escaped from Dannemora prison close to Plattsburgh are still on da lose. Last week we heard they were sited near Syracuse. Now we hear that they are still close to the Canadian border in Clinton County.

Today we read that people in the area are getting edgy. People have taken to locking their doors. Really? We also read that everyone has a gun and those who hunt keep them in their cars or pickup trucks in case they see supper running across the highway. Ich. We digress.

Those two men are very resourceful. Look how they got a guard and a woman inside the prison to help them. And by the way, did anyone see a picture of that woman. Blanche, go git da eye mask, we’re about ta  see somethin dats very frightening. All of this to say that this cat and mouse game could go on indefinitely. Doesn’t it sound like the keystone cops chasing the bad guys and going in circles?

Lululemon is back in the news with another gaffe. We will jog your memory and remind you that the previous gaffe had to do with see-through leggings and the one before that when the founder Chip Wilson said, in a nutshell that his clothing is not for women with fat thighs.

Well, they’re back in the news again because they created a hoodie where the strings snap back and can smack you in the face or worse, in the eye. How many hoodies did they recall you ask? About 318,000. Does no one there know how to test garments for idiosyncrasies?

Don’t be surprised by this next piece. Remember the stores who said they will no longer sell Confederate flags? Amazon, Wal-Mart, Sears and eBay? Sounds like they are good and moral corporate establishments. Think again. No, they won’t sell the confederate flag but they do still sell all kinds of things for extreme right wing groups – neo-nazis, klu klux klan, the old South African apartheid flag.  And what’s worse, people are still buying them.

Unfortunately, Louis Farrakhan has waded into the confederate flag fracas. We won’t spend a word describing this nutcase. Suffice it to say he made headlines yesterday with his brilliant comment that “We need to put the American flag down. Because we’ve caught as much h… under that as the Confederate flag.” He went on to utter a few other inane comments. The fact that he made headlines makes us think that there’s not much news out there.

It’s a bird, it’s a plane it’s a wheel from an airplane which fell into someone’s home right here in Montreal. Special eh?

Jack Ma, the Chinese gzillionaire and co-founder of e-commerce giant Alibaba, has quietly made a new acquisition: a 28,100-acre property boasting trout streams, woodlands and a maple-syrup operation in New York’s Adirondacks. Yes Blanche, along the route that you take to go to New York.

Ma paid $23 million for massive property which he bought principally for conservation purposes (spare us), but also plans to use as an occasional personal retreat. Really? He’s going to leave China and come to the Adirondacks to go fishing? And we have swampland in Florida to sell you.

The Whole Foods grocery chain is in some trouble. Wait a minute, we thought tree-hugger, save-the-whale and eat only organic food people never get into trouble. Guess even lefties are not always so honest.

They were caught overcharging for everything that was checked by government officials. Some things were not even weighed and a price slapped onto it. If you need an example, here’s one: Vegetable platters priced at $20 per package were overpriced by $2.50 on average. One package was overpriced by $6.15. Sometimes the weight was lower than what was on the label which would have saved people a considerable amount of money.

They were fined $800,000. Can we talk? We wonder who exactly will trust them again? Rhetoric question. Organic eating, thin and pale people will continue buying there. And the organic business? Who believes the stuff is really organic if they are dishonest with their pricing. If organic eaters would have a bit of normal food, maybe they would see what a royal ripoff the whole business is – pardon the pun.

Good Shabbos

We’ll talk…

How Do You Take Your Coffee? Seriously, very seriously.

A few months have passed since the horrific murders in the supermarket in Paris. For Jews living elsewhere in the world, life picked up as usual a few days later. For those in Paris, the ramifications of that day are being felt on a daily basis.

There was a wedding held in the Le Marais district in Paris very recently. Standing guard outside the wedding hall were heavily armed soldiers in addition to security guards. Some of the guards had their guns drawn, as though waiting for something to happen.

According to reliable sources, there are three anti-Semitic attacks daily. Treasure the freedom we have to practice openly as Jews where we live.

The first piece is a great segue to the confederate flag issue.
Lest you not know exactly what that flag represents, we will give you a very short history lesson. It is the official flag that was used to represent the Confederate States of America during the Civil War at a time when the South was vehemently fighting to keep slavery around as a means of economic prosperity for white plantation owners.

Blanche is the furthest thing from a tree-hugging liberal, yet this confederate flag business is outright racism. Everyone knows what it stands for and yet in the southern US confederate everything is sold – tshirts, caps, flags – you name it. The following five states buy the most confederate flags: Virginia, North Carolina, Georgia, Illinois and Texas. Figure the rest out yourself.

Americans still have a long way to go in terms of  tolerating each other.  Oh yes, one more thing. Guess which store sells the most guns? Walmart.

Guess the mayor of a little town in Quebec called Longeuil didn’t get the memo. Her town, as all towns in Canada, have a bilingual status. That means that there are two official languages, English and French. No surprise there. The mayor of this town however, doesn’t think like the rest of Canada.

She wants only French spoken at council meetings. Here’s what she said, “We are in Quebec and the council debates MUST be in French. The city of Longueuil is not a bilingual administration, period. It is French and it will remain so as long as I’m there to run it!” Sounds like she has severe anger management issues. Blanche, go out and buy da mayor a brown paper bag so she can hyperventilate into it. What a dufus.

The coffee industry ain’t happy. The worst thing to have entered their lives is the coffee pod. Remember when we made coffee in the morning in a drip machine? Who measured? We took a tablespoon and eyeballed how much coffee was needed, usually too much. Today?

The exact amount is pre – measured into a teensy, weensy pod. Use one and you have the best cuppa java. The coffee industry isn’t happy. Seems about 25% of all households have a machine that uses pods. Such is life dudes. Move it along.

We just watched the absolute coolest thing. Monitors mounted on the back of a huge 18-wheeler or other large vehicle are connected wirelessly to a camera in front, allowing people to pass them safely.  It’s Samsung  technology and shows drivers what’s ahead day or night.

In other words if you are driving behind one of those monster trucks and want to pass them, there’s a screen that shows up on the back of the truck. It shows very clearly if there are oncoming cars, enabling you to pass the truck safely. It’s not yet in North America. Stay tuned.

This next piece was just too nutty to pass up.
The search continues for a 1.7 metre-long snake that escaped from its owners’ guitar case during the Fernfest community celebration in Victoria over the weekend. Fernfest? Where’s Jim-Bob when ya need him?

The snake, which is named ‘snake’ is non-venomous, but it could “pack a powerful bite.” Perhaps, fortunately, the owner told police, it is well-fed and “a bit chubby.” A fat snake? Probably can’t slither too fast. Ich.

Here’s some good news.
Gmail has introduced an ‘undo send’ button. Do we hear a collective sigh of relief? Here’s how to find it: Go to the little cog icon in the upper righthand corner and select “Settings.” About a third of the way down the page you’ll see the “Undo Send” section. You can choose between 5, 10, 20 and 30 second windows of unsendability. Make sure you hit “Save Changes” at the bottom and you’re all set.

Don’t say Blanche doesn’t give you some useful information. Of course we dislike gmail as it is virtually impossible to follow a long thread of emails. But we digress.

We’ll talk…

Yet Another Sad Day in America

The headline says it all: Another Killer on Psych Drugs. Let’s see what the NRA has to say about the latest horrific murders. Simple people doing nothing more than learning to be better human beings murdered in cold blood ostensibly because they were black. And as usual the media is focusing on the person who did the killing and not on the victims and their families.

Who cares who that sick person was. He’s never seeing the light of the day again anyway. Here’s something for the NRA to contemplate: Sick people who get hold of guns kill people. And it’s pretty obvious that there are a lot of very sick people wandering around and even more obvious that anyone, mentally ill or not, can get their hands on deadly weapons. In this case, the  boys’ father actually bought him the gun. He should go to prison together with his son if he could not identify how ill his son was.

In one of the more bizarre parts of this story, a gun ad appeared on the front page of the Charleston newspaper where these murders happened. It says that for $30 you can get the whole deal – guns, bullets etc. Something is very wrong in America.

The US government announced yesterday that it plans to put a woman on a $10 bill. Sounds good so far. The sentence goes on to say it won’t be until 2020. They can’t find a woman until then? Really? Here’s a headline for them: They should not have put this out until the very end of 2019 and then say in a month we’re doing this. Not the brightest chips in the box.

Did you know that all the servers of the US State Department have been down since June 12? Bet ya didn’t. They certainly are keeping it a big secret. Did you also know that they went down the same time last year?

Here’s what we learned on a recent road trip: Places like the State Department are supposed to have what is called redundant servers. That means that as someone is posting something in their office, say in Washington, it gets put on multiple servers at the same time. These servers are hidden away locations in the world. So if one server goes down, poof! you will be able to use another one with but a moment’s pause.

So last year when the servers went down in the State Department, they were supposed to have installed said redundant servers. Now they are down again and when asked if the extra servers were installed the answer was…no comment. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that they were not installed. Had they been, the State Department would not be paralyzed for almost a week and counting.

Who is responsible for this fiasco? The company that got paid gzillions of dollars to install the servers. And where are they? Who knows.

A tunnel was opened this morning going from the Vendome metro station into the new hospital.
Unfortunately, if you are in a wheelchair or have any kind of physical incapacity, say a broken leg, you’re outta luck getting to the hospital. There is not nor will be for a ‘few years’, wheelchair access from where the public transportation ends to the hospital.

The people responsible for this error should be fined and forced to sit in a wheelchair until this ‘error’ is fixed. They would certainly become more sensitive to the needs of people who need this kind of access. We venture to say that it would be months and not years before said access would be built. We wonder if this kind of colossal incompetence happens in other cities.

Michelle Obama went to London last week. While there she decided to visit a school in a place called Tower Hamlets in East London. So guess what kind of school she visited? A 100% muslim school where all the girls wear hijabs.

So why did she choose that particular school? She wants to show diversity, that she loves everyone equally. Guess what? More than 90 per cent of the pupils are Muslim, from a predominantly Bangladeshi background. That make-up pretty much reflects the demography of the surrounding area. There is no diversity there. And it’s a huge part of what ails London. What a genius.

Good Shabbos
We’ll talk…

I’m Not Fat. I’m Just Easy to See.

Not that Blanche wants to gloat, but can we say we said this first: It has come to light today that a ‘study’ was done to see how much it would cost to blow up the Big Owe. Zut alors the cost came in at $800 million. In case you don’t know, dats very close to a billion. But that’s not the whole deal.

It appears that the dust resulting from the implosion would be toxic. As well, the beams were constructed in such a way that they would literally fly all over the city should the place be blown up. Now that would be messy.

To fix it will cost about $200 million of your tax dollars, only to have to fix it yet again in a couple of years. The geniuses responsible for the ‘study’ said that it would have to be dismantled piece by piece. Now they’re talking. What a great make-work project. It could go on for years and years and years, giving much needed work to the many unemployed people in la Belle Province.

We know that such fiascoes happen in other cities, but they usually end at some point. In this city your money just keeps pouring into a place that no one uses, cares about nor wants with no end in sight.

Bizarre is the only word we can find to describe this next little ditty. The head of the NAACP, Rachel Dolezal has resigned her position as president because she is in reality a white person, not a black person. It seems she always wanted to be a black person. Trouble is her parents are lily white and guess what? So is she!

Last we heard, the NAACP stands for the National Association of the Advancement of Colored People – not exactly the correct terminology these days.  Did no one take a close look at her? Are people actually shocked to that she’s really white? Did they not take a look at her lineage? Only in America.

When Bill di Blasio, the New York left of left Democrat mayor was elected to office, he got rid of the stop and frisk law. “It’s offensive.” While it may have been so, it also kept New York safe. Of late the crime rate has risen dramatically and we are guessing that under the pretense of keeping the place safe, the Feds are moving in.

Tree-hugging liberals are definitely not enamored with this law. Quel dommage. Better they should complain and someone not get mugged or worse.

The Donald, aka Donald Trump is running for President again.
The only comment we will make is that he is no longer dying his hair that nasty blonde color, opting instead to leave it gray. At least he has hair.

Here’s a baseball scandal in the making: The St. Louis Cardinals are being investigated by the FBI for allegedly hacking into networks and trying to steal information about the Houston Astros. Really? The FBI has evidence that Cardinals officials – who were not identified – allegedly tapped into the Astros’ database and had access to statistics, scouting reports and internal discussions about players, trades and other proprietary information.

The Astros rely heavily on sabermetrics in their evaluation of players and have been open about the fact that they use an online database to house their proprietary information. The Astros are in good company with the US Federal government who could not keep their information secure. If you’re looking for a good job, may we suggest cyber-security.

You’re going to get healthy whether you like it or not.
Artificial trans fats will be phased out of processed foods, from microwave popcorn to frozen pizza, to prevent fatal heart attacks. So says the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. Here’s a secret – it’s not only the trans fats that are killing Americans. It’s the fact that they sit on a couch for hours on end and don’t move while eating those trans fats that’s killing them.

If they want Americans to be healthier and not so fat, shut down the internet for 2 hours a day and force everyone out onto the street to walk, bike, run, play ball – you know what people used to do a few years ago.

Remember the dude who jumped the White House fence a while back and got right into the building? Well, today he was sentenced to 17 months in jail for his antics. We especially liked what the judge had to say to him after it was revealed that he had stockpiled a veritable arsenal of weapons: “No more knives, no more guns, no more tomahawks, no more machetes. Got it?” “Yes, your honor”, he answered. Let’s bet he’s back in less than two years with another arsenal. Exactly who is monitoring this nutball?

Stay tuned tomorrow as Swiss officials release some juicy information about money-laundering in the bids for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups. Let’s bet that Qatar loses it’s chance to host those soccer games in 120 degree heat.

We were on a road trip recently near Dannemora prison where those two rather nasty dudes escaped. The femme fatale in the escapade, aka the woman who worked in the laundry room has been arrested. She admitted smuggling tools and whatnot to the men and then helping plot their escape which included the murder of her husband.

Zut alors, when she discovered that she really loved her husband she backed out of the plan. Here’s a flash for her: Had she gone through with the plan, she and her husband would most likely have both been killed. Yet another headline: those dudes had plan B and never relied on her in the first place.

At a gas/coffee stop along the highway we spoke with the people serving, asking if they were in any way afraid. As one of the women was slicing tomatoes she responded, “Naw, doze guys are in Mexico by now.” Perhaps they are correct. And perhaps until they are caught they should be sleeping with some kind of weapon beside their bed. Just in case.

We’ll talk…

Mine, Mine, It’s All Mine.

In the ‘what-was-he-thinking’ department, Evan Solomon didn’t think. He hosted a nightly series called Power & Politics on CBC and a weekly radio political affairs series called The House. He was a rising star in the media world with great prospects for the future. Plus he has good hair so he had the winning combination.

So what did he do? He fed his contacts – and there were many and very good – to an art dealer. Once the contact was made between those two and a deal struck to buy a very expensive piece of art, Solomon received a handsome commission. We’re talking six figures.

Did he tell his employer about this? No. Did he think they would find out? If he didn’t he’s either very greedy  or not nearly as smart as everyone thought he was. We have a feeling he will lay low for a while and show up somewhere, possibly on some news channel in the US. Honestly Blanche, how much money do people need? Ich

One would think that lonely donut has been suffering of late with the ‘eat healthy’ craze. People are eating yogurt, egg white omelets (feh)  or cottage cheese and fruit for breakfast instead of buying a greasy donut. Well Blanche, ya don’t have to feel badly for the donut anymore.

Instead of buying their donuts for breakfast, people are buying them for a snack. Who knew? All those donut places have shown a steady increase in their bottom line, proving that no matter what the thin, emaciated, menthol smelling tree-hugger says, he or she is sneaking in a donut somewhere along the way, along with Billy-Bob, Bodean, Betty Jo and Betty Lou who never stopped eating them for breakfast and snacks.

Although this story surfaced a couple of months ago, it is finding its legs again today. Bell Canada is being sued in a class action suit for $750 million alleging that Bell tracked, collected and sold their sensitive account and internet browsing information of their customers to advertisers. Greed again rears its ugly head.

Did you ever take a road trip and the way back always seems shorter than the way there? Well folks (we’re learning from Obama), some geniuses did a study on just this phenomenon. The results will not surprise you. Going we are unfamiliar with the territory and the ride tends to feel longer. Coming back we recognize landmarks and for whatever reason, the trip feels shorter. We have a bigger question. Who was the brainwave who thought to do this survey and how much money did they walk away with? We venture to say mucho dinero.

Can we talk about ladies soccer games for a minute? What? A minute is too long? Well, you’re in good company as those fifa games being played in Montreal are doing so in front of basically empty stands. Seems the only people attending the games are the parents, relatives and friends of the soccer players.

Soccer is very popular in Europe but in North America? It’s one big yawn. And that’s the men’s soccer. The women’s soccer doesn’t even get a yawn. Blanche’s suggestion: leave soccer in Europe and take away the alcohol from the games. That way people will actually watch the game without beating up the person in the seat next to them.

A short time ago, it was reported that every single US Federal employee’s social security number was hacked. A breach of U.S. government computers—presumably launched by China—is looking immensely worse than first expected. It seems that literally every single government worker is the victim of an enormous personal information heist. Dat doesn’t sound good.

None of these millions of social security numbers were encrypted. Wait, it gets better. Along with the 670,000 federal employees, every federal retiree and up to one million former federal employees also had their personal information stolen. What do we mean by personal information? Everything except the color of their underwear. Where they live, their phone number, email address, how much they get paid, their gender, race and where their birthmarks are (just kidding).

With all the sophistication available, we cannot believe that the social security numbers were not encrypted. The US has a very long way to go to upgrade their most basic systems. We hope that no one reading Blanche is amongst the few million affected.

Good Shabbos
We’ll talk…

Is There An App for Respect?

Today was Jacques Parizeau’s funeral. Lest you forget who he was we will jog your memory and remind you that he was the author of the 1995 referendum that nearly broke up Canada. Standing by and making sure nothing went wrong were the Montreal police who have been in a contract dispute with the city for months. As they are not allowed to strike, they have taken to not wearing their uniform, instead opting for army pants and baseball caps, which they wore today.

This past December Jean Beliveau passed away. At that funeral the police force donned their regular uniform as a sign of respect for the city’s most beloved ambassador. The mayor was not happy with how the police were dressed today. Here’s a newsflash: One has to earn respect. It cannot be commanded. Jacques Parizeau earned the respect of a few diehard separatists. It is pretty obvious that even with a ‘state funeral’, the majority of the population wwhileas not overly fond of him, including French Canadians as everyone was witness to today when the police made their very obvious statement.

Those two scary dudes who escaped from Dannemora prison are still on the loose, but not for long. Slowly the story is trickling out as police speak to different people who worked inside the prison walls. It seems that there was a woman who was supposed to pick them up when they emerged from the manhole but panicked at the last minute and never showed up, leaving the men to their own devices. Dannemora prison is very close to Plattsburgh New York, a sleepy town 45 minutes south of Montreal. To say that the people who live there are nervous would be a gross understatement.

They are sleeping with guns, shotguns, knives, swords, bows and arrows – you name it they have it. A lotta them folks are huntin people and know how to shoot a deer from far way. If those two men are roaming around corn fields in the rain with no food they are going to be mighty hungry and desperate pretty soon. But they best not mess with those small town people and find a way outta Dodge real quick.

In case you have nothing to worry about, we’ll help you.
There could be an egg shortage due to the bird flu. Seems that 40 million chickens have been infected and many of them cannot be used for anything, especially eggs.

So while there will be eggs in the stores,  they will be much more money than we are used to paying. Eventually the hen population will be replenished, but until then don’t be shocked by the prices.

Toronto is a very large metropolitan city with a very old subway system.
No one every bothered to upgrade it. On Sunday night there was a nasty rain storm and the Toronto Transit Company (TTC) transferred its communications system to a backup power supply. Problem was that while the TTC was able to move all its communications systems to backup power, the backup power system itself failed for ‘unknown reasons’. Uh oh. Dat doesn’t sound good.

When it failed, it brought down everything. Not just the TTC’s radio communications with trains and stations, but also the TTC’s email and telephone systems, too. So with one faulty circuit board, the TTC basically lost all of its ability to communicate with its subways, and then lost the ability to communicate with itself and the public, too.

Then they couldn’t get the buses up and running fast enough so about 1.3 million people were left stranded for a few hours until things started working again. Makes Montreal look like nirvana.

Imagine our surprise when we checked into one of our favorite sites only to find a non-Jewish jockey praying at the holy resting place of the Lubavitcher Rebbe. Why? Well, unless you have been living on Mars or under a rock somewhere, you must know that American Pharoah won the triple crown, a feat not accomplished in over 37 years. The man asking for Divine intervention was the jockey.

So what exactly is the triple crown? It is when one horse wins the three top races in America: The Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, and the Belmont Stakes. American Pharoah, who happens to be a stunning horse, is owned by Egyptian Jews. We caught the family on Morning Joe Monday and found all of them, the four children, husband and wife – as excited as a schoolchild who had won the spelling bee. You get the drift. Nice to see normal on what is often beyond the pale.

We’ll talk

He Would Lose Weight, But He Hates Losing.

This FIFA scandal is beginning to sound like a bird sanctuary because people are singing and spilling the beans faster than the media can keep up with them. Before we launch into who is saying what, we must put this on the record. The next scandal should be the awarding of the olympics. That entire organization smacks of an old boys club, exactly like fifa. But we digress.

Here’s the fifa scandal in a nutshell:

1. Nine FIFA officials were indicted last week by the U.S. Department of Justice for taking $150 million in bribes while awarding FIFA broadcast rights. This includes the bidding process for the 2018 Russia World Cup and the 2022 Qatar World Cup. Everyone wondered why Qatar was awarded the games when they are played in the summer and the temperature is about 50 Celsius or 122 Fahrenheit. As well, alchohol is banned. Now you know why they got it. Money talks.

2. Russia is having a particularly rough year. Vladimir Putin was awarded (wink wink, nudge nudge) and needs the 2018 World Cup to boost morale, tourism and investment, and Russia is set to spend $20 billion on public works projects and stadium preparations. You can be sure that the games will stay there because people are afraid of Putin.

3. Qatar is another story. They were planning to spend $200 billion on the games in a place everyone knew was wrong for soccer in the summer. The heat, coupled with the ban on alcohol, will not do much to attract people to the tournament. If you take away the sheiks and their extended families, no one else is coming. Watch this part of the story. It is very possible they will lose the games.

4. Although this is an American led investigation,  Americans don’t really like soccer. For them watching the scandal unfold is a lot more fun than watching a soccer game.

Blanche, stop gloating. Remember we told you that the Jenner business – from Bruce to Caitlyn was a monumental money grab? Well guess what? Jenner is going to have his/her own reality show. And what is the point of that show? To help others in that situation? Forgive us if we don’t believe it. Jenner stands to make gzillions exploiting the misery of other people. Fech and ich.

Chris Christie, the governor of New Jersey is not a slim man. Nothing wrong with that, there are millions of chunky Americans and Canadians. Last night there was a special baseball game held in honor of three policemen gunned down in cold blood last year in New York. The issue? Christie didn’t fit into his uniform. He not only didn’t fit, but it was so tight it showed every roll and his entire girth. Let’s just say that his intentions were good but the sight of him was blinding. Yes Blanche, he’s so competitive he would lose weight but he just hates losing.

Seems the avalanche of complaints about this year’s tour de l’isle reached the ears of the director of the event. You can read the lengthy interview in tomorrow’s paper, but we thought we’d share one or two salient points. You may need the barf bag so get it ready:

This year, the route went through the Côte-des-Neiges—N.D.G. borough, which we do about once every four years. Every time we do, we hear more complaints than we do from other neighbourhoods, and there were more complaints this year, yes, mainly from anglophones in N.D.G., to our hotline. It may be because the neighbourhoods on the western part of the island are less accustomed to events that involve road closures. Oh really?

NDG is not used to events that close the roads? How about the fact that the area is densely populated, has had a construction festival with the new hospital for ten years and never have their snow cleared. Keep up the pressure folks. You’re getting under his skin and he may think twice about doing it in the west end of Montreal again.

This next piece is a two-pronged Pierre Karl Peladeau.
The first is relatively simple and we heard it only once, but we perked up when we did. There was a suggestion made to rename Amherst Street in Montreal after Jacques Parizeau. Seems Amherst was a Brit that  not too many people liked. PKP got wind that Amherst runs right through the gay village and said it is not befitting Parizeau to have that street named after him. Now dat’s going to raise the brows of quite a few people.

The next PKP issue is his blind trust business. Claude Bisson, the former chief judge of the Quebec court,stated unequivocally today that if PKP ever became premier (perish the thought), that blind trust would be illegal. PKP did not take kindly to that statement. In fact, he announced yesterday he will no longer speak to Bisson. Is that so? Here’s the bottom line: PKP wants to give those shares to his children and he’s not giving them up for anything or anyone. Let’s see who’s going to win this one.

Blanche never sends her readers to other sites. It’s actually not a smart thing to do – send people away. But after watching this very short video, we felt selfish not sharing it. It is a 2 minute time lapse of the 11 years it took to build One World Trade Center. Truthfully, we found it melancholy as it brought back memories of 9/11. It’s still worth the watch.

Yesterday was the yarzeit of Naftali Fraenkel, Gil-ad Shaer and Eyal Yifrach. Their names are seared in our minds. As Jews we prayed together as one throughout the world for their safe return. It was not to be. Yesterday over a million Jews marked their yarzeit.

Their families did not want the unity that the Jewish world felt in those few weeks to be lost forever and so they decided that Jewish unity would be their sons’ legacy.

The families are dedicating themselves to raising awareness of the importance of unity every day, and not only during times of crisis and conflict with the nation’s enemies. It is incumbent upon all of us to take their lead and show just a small bit of ahavas Israel where we did not do so before. It’s the least we can do.

Good Shabbos
We’ll talk…

Some People are Like Clouds. Once they leave it’s a better day.

Yes Blanche, Mr. I-Want-To-Break-Up-Canada is gone. We speak of Mr. Jacques Parizeau who, in 1995 called a referendum to break up our country. He lost, but not by much and he was a poor loser as is recorded forever in history, blaming money and the ‘ethnics’ for the loss of what he had hoped was his new country of Quebec. (Some say he was very inebriated when he said that.) Since then we have been paying dearly with the loss of people, head offices, jobs, money and stability.

Parizeau represented everything that is wrong with what could have been a great place to live. He may have been very smart, very elite, very well dressed and spoken English very well, but he was 100% a separatist which caused and still causes destabilization of our economy. Perhaps his only saving grace was that he was against that idiotic charter of values. At least he had some semblance of sanity left in him.

The last kick at the can has arrived in the guise of PKP. Truly these people are like clouds. One cloud is gone but we still have one left.  It will be a while until we have a clear sky.

People who cycle are  a selfish lot. They are saving the planet and we, who do not cycle and drive a car are the enemy. Enter the tour de l’isle, the mother-of-all-selfish bicycle days that holds an entire city hostage for hours and hours.

The administration is  busy printing maps and putting them online and in newspapers, but wouldn’t you know it, the maps are not quite correct. What looked like a street that was open turned out to be closed and people wound up in massive traffic jams for hours. Why? Because the little darlings who ride bikes need to tour the city.

There is no doubt that that see the havoc they are causing. Perhaps they would opt to tour the circumference of the city?  No. They want to see the city. Well guess what? We in the city don’t want to see them. They are a nuisance, self-centered and are not saving the planet. If they disposed of all the cows who cause the most pollution with their gas,  they could cycle forever in on farms and stay out of the city. Don’t hold your breath. Better yet, find out when next year’s tour de l’isle is and buzz out of the city.

Bruce Jenner. Caitlyn Jenner. Honestly… This Jenner person for lack of a better term is laughing all the way to the bank, making gzillions off publicity. If you think we are joking here are a few tidbits of information:

At the photo shoot, cell phones were confiscated to prevent any photos from leaking before they went live Monday morning.

Heavy security also extended to Vanity Fair’s offices, where the cover story and photos were prepared on a computer that was unplugged from the Internet.

All content was then transferred to a thumb drive and deleted from the computer each night until the full spread was ready to be hand-delivered to a printer.

Vanity Fair, where the pictures were published, had their best day in history with 9 million viewers.

Can we talk? Give it a year and see what happens. Let’s bet this Jenner is still not happy. Doesn’t like the sheitel (wig) and had a meltdown, has no friends, no one is asking for speeches at we are pretty sure must be a hefty fee. Pick any number of scenarios and Jenner will return for another round of media frenzy. Ich.

Blatter splattered.
We are referring to Sepp Blatter, the newly re-elected president of Fifa who resigned today. He was prez again for about five minutes. Now Blanche, why do you think he resigned? Could it possibly be that he is tied into his  obscenely rich old cronies who took billions of dollars in bribes over decades?

He officially left because he said that not everyone supported his new mandate as president. Pass the barf bag again. He resigned not because people didn’t like him, but because he will most likely be indicted with the rest of his buddies. Let’s bet.

Edward Snowden got some satisfaction today. Two years after his massive NSA leaks, a bill was passed giving the NSA six months to stop its blanket collection of telephone metadata—which includes the times, durations, and phone numbers of nearly every call in the U.S.—and allows legal challenges to the National Security Letter gag orders that currently keep collection secret.

The vote marks the first time Congress has acted to limit the NSA’s surveillance programs since they were exposed by former agency contractor Edward Snowden in 2013.

While we are not in total agreement with Snowden, as the bad guys must be monitored 24/7, Minnie and Morris don’t need the National Security Agency to listen into their phone calls.

We’ll talk…