Monthly Archives: July 2015

Don’t You Wish People Were Like Money So You Could Hold Them up To the Light and See Which Ones Were Real and Which Ones are Fake?

OPM. Other people’s money. Don’t you wish you had a tree in your backyard and at a whim could pluck, oh say $40 million? For what you ask? Why to light up a bridge in Montreal to celebrate our 375th anniversary. Get real.

Blanche, let’s go to Paris and fly first class and stay in the Ritz Carlton. Then we can go shopping and eat out and hire a chauffeur. Wait! Who’s going to pay? Why the little plebs who pay taxes. Why is it when normal people get elected in high positions they forget who they are and where they came from? They also seem to forget where their money is coming from.

Our mayor who was once a nice guy seems to  slowly becoming like Jean Drapeau who, when asked if the ’67 Olympics would have a cost overrun said, “Just like a man cannot have a baby, the olympics will not exceed our projections.” What year are we? 2015? We’re still paying. We hope Coderre comes to his senses.

Then there’s Hydro Quebec who seem to be raising the electricity rates every six months.
Who exactly will stop them if the government owns them? No one. They can do what they want when they want.

Walter Palmer’s life as he knew it is over.
He’s the brainwave dentist who shot and killed Cecil the lion in Zimbabwe. He can’t go home as Mia Farrow posted his address on social media. He can’t go back to his dental practice because their are hordes of lion-lovers in the parking lot waiting to pounce on him. He can’t stay in his little town of Eden Prairie in Minnesota because the police are not going to protect him. Hey, we have an idea. He should call that Jenner person and find out how to make himself into a woman. Short of that he will have to pitch a tent on an ice flow in the Arctic until this blows over, which it won’t for a long time.

And in case you didn’t know, he’s a serial animal killer and has been on the wrong side of the law on more than one occasion due to his ‘sport’. The tables have turned on him. Instead of hunting he’s being hunted. Not everyone gets their just desserts in this lifetime.

Don’t read this if you’re eating. Brazil is a lovely country and has an overload of naturally occurring resource. That resource  isn’t diamonds or oil—it’s human excrement, which Olympic athletes will have to swim through if they want to win a medal next summer. Feh, feh, feh.

Despite promises to clean the Rio de Janeiro bay in time for the 2016 Olympics, mayor Eduardo Paes was forced to admit this week that some of the athletes are just going to have to deal with competing in the raw sewage expelled by a large, poorly managed city. This could be one of the grossest things we have read in a very long time. Whoever swims in that needs their head examined.

If you happen to be outside tomorrow night, look up. Friday night will mark the appearance of the month’s second full moon, the first such occurrence in the Americas since August 2012. Every month has a full moon, but because the lunar cycle and the calendar year aren’t perfectly synched, about every three years we wind up with two in the same calendar month. Just saying…

JetBlue, that kind of flower child airline that has smiley flight attendants and serves blue chips is now going to start charging for baggage
$20 to check your bag online $25 at the counter. The only airline not charging for bags is Southwest. Don’t worry, they’ll get in the game soon. Airlines raked in a cool $3.5 billion for checked bags. They will want their share.

Blanche, here’s some information that you could use.
A solid night’s sleep is known to protect your memory from bouts of forgetfulness. “Sleep almost doubles our chances of remembering previously unrecalled material,” a researcher said in a statement. “The post-sleep boost in memory accessibility may indicate that some memories are sharpened overnight. This supports the notion that, while asleep, we actively rehearse information flagged as important.”

Now you don’t have be one the ‘cool’ people who say they don’t need a lot of sleep. Can we talk? Everybody needs to sleep. It’s good for our skin, lets our bodies rest and now, zut alors, it’s good for our memory. We’ll stay nurdy and go to sleep early.

Good Shabbos

We’ll talk…

BREAKING NEWS: Common Sense is now an endangered species. Stupidity has taken over the world and unfortunately there is no known cure.

Some people are not very happy and perhaps a tad worried these days. Many, many thousands who thought they were safe putting all their information on a website called Ashley Madison are now ‘tzitering’ – shaking in their pants.

In case you are living under a rock, that site is for shall we discreetly say married people to do things that married people should not be doing. Some group hacked into their site, commandeered all their information and is threatening to expose everyone unless the site shuts down. Can we talk?

How naive can those people be who joined that website? Do they not read the papers where hackers expose sites much much bigger than Madison? Like Target or the US government. Did they think that if they gave a fake name they would never be found out? Truly there is no known cure for stupidity.

Obama is off to Kenya for a family reunion.
No kidding. He’s going to reconnect with Mama Sara, the matriarch of his family and paternal step-grandmother. Then there’s Auma Obama his half-sister (they shared a father), Malik Obama, his half-brother, George Hussein Obama, his step-brother from his father’s fourth wife and finally Kezia Obama, his father’s first wife. It’s going to be quite the party. We suggest name tags.

Donald Trump was very busy today. He went to visit Laredo Texas, a town that borders Mexico. First thing we noticed was his red-neck hat with the inscription Make America Great Again. Could be that’s his slogan.

Lest you think he spent much time there, think again. It took him less than three hours to zip in and zip out with an entourage second to none that included a presidential-style motorcade, seven SUVs and even more police cars. Before going, it seems Trump was warned that he would be at ‘great risk’ if he stepped foot in Laredo. Can you say Guzman the escaped drug cartel king? You can say what you want about Trump – he’s crude, rude and has no filter. Given that, he has cahoonas the size of Texas.

Guess how many republicans are running for president? Sixteen. That’s insane. One of the keys to running is money. Seems this election will cost the winning candidate about $1billion. That’s way more insane than the sixteen candidates. On the other hand, there are a handful of democrats running.

Many out there like Bernie Sanders. We don’t want to bust your bubble but unless you live in Vermont and like to hug trees, you most likely don’t vote for Bernie. Hillary has a good chance but her biggest challenge lies internally. She could not keep her own people in check last time around and they failed her miserably. Seems she has a problem delegating. And therefore you are asking yourself, how is she going to run the country if she can’t run her own party? Good question Blanche.

In case you didn’t know, the price of eggs is going to skyrocket due to many factors, not the least of which is that nasty avian flu. That nasty virus did many chickens in. It’s not that your easy-over eggs will be that much more expensive, it’s everything else that uses eggs. Stop and think how many products use eggs and you’ll realize that prices of many things are going to rise rapidly.

Good Shabbos

We’ll talk…

When You Get Angry Take A Breath and Count to 10. Throw a punch at 8. No one expects that. Hehehehe.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Seems that baggage handlers, security and wheelchair people are going on strike tomorrow night at 10:00 pm at both La Guardia and JFK airports. These people make $15 per hour and want more more money and other perks. No Blanche, they are not unionized so we are guessing they could all be fired and replaced. They are part of British Airways, United and a few other big airlines.

Whatever happens, check your airline before going there.

Donald Trump looks like a train wreck waiting to happen. Everyday he drops yet another ‘pearl’ of wisdom. Today was very special when he gave out the private cell number of a US Senator (Lindsay Graham) who he obviously doesn’t like. One of the best quotes we read so far? “I love Mexico, and I love the Mexican people. I’ve had thousands of Mexicans working for me. I sell apartments for millions of dollars to people from Mexico. They love me. They love me.”

Now get this: He’s leading in the polls of presidential contenders. Ya know why? One word. People are ‘angry’. They are sick and tired of lying, cheating, ineffectual politicians. Say what you want about Trump, shake your head at his idiotic statements but never say he’s an indecisive leader. And the $10 billion he has doesn’t hurt.

There is no doubt that if the Republican party has not yet put out a hit on him they are thinking about it. In fact, they may call the Clintons who have a history of making people they don’t like disappear. Ok, let’s word that another way. The Clintons have a history of people they know who disappear.

Some people think he will crash and burn. Others are not sure he can sustain his ‘shock and awe’ game for long. Remember – no one thought Arnold Schwarzenegger would ever be Governor of California either.

A&P is filing for bankruptcy. How the mighty fall.

Drones are all the rage these days. A couple of them found their way hovering over the White House. Well today in Connecticut an 18 year-old, together with his genius father, devised a drone with a gun attached that shot live bullets. As opposed to dead ones that are fakes.

Everyone had their shorts in a uproar trying to decide if he was legally allowed to fire a gun on his property. How about getting your shorts in a tizzy over the fact that anyone sitting in their basement in their underwear can create the same drone with a gun and shoot it, oh say in Manhattan. Go try and catch it. We ask you – do Americans just act dumb or are they really that stupid?

Here’s a story to watch. Authorities arrested four people in Israel and Florida for something called a pump and dump scheme.

What’s the definition of a pump and dump scheme? It is a form of stock fraud that involves artificially inflating the price of an owned stock through false and misleading positive statements, in order to sell the cheaply purchased stock at a higher price. Once the operators of the scheme “dump” sell their overvalued shares, the price falls and investors lose their money. Stocks that are the subject of pump and dump schemes are sometimes called “chop stocks”.

While fraudsters in the past relied on cold calls, the Internet now offers a cheaper and easier way of reaching large numbers of potential investors. Nice, eh?

One of the dudes involved had a nice name: Joshua Aaron. He was in Russia this past Sunday (doing some ‘laundry’) with his wife Alona when the arrests took place. Now guess what happened? He didn’t return to Israel where he lives. Ya know why? Because there is no extradition between Russia and the US who are the ones doing the arresting. In Israel they can nab him, not in Russia. Can you guess the rest of the story? Ok we’ll tell you. Watch him hook up with Edward Snowden.

We’ll talk…

Here’s What the Greeks Really Want to Say to the World: We Feel Like Putting An ‘Out of Order’ Sticker on our Foreheads.

Where does finishing a project ahead of schedule make the front pages of the papers and lead off the news? Why in la belle province of Quebec where such things are of historic proportions and virtually never happen in our lifetime.

Things here are so provincial and so corrupt here that finishing repairs early is an anomaly. Something is very wrong with this picture. We suggest that the office de la langue francais do a serious inspection where those repairs took place and make sure that no English was inadvertently used during the construction. Hey, at least it would keep them busy with something other than harassing people who just want to make a living.

So Muhammad got hold of a rapid fire automatic weapon, woke up this morning and decided to go kill some American Marines in Chattanooga, under the guise of the ‘peaceful’ religion of islam, all of  which he did successfully. We are beginning to think that it’s almost too late for the US to bring in any kind of gun control as there must be so many illegal weapons that anyone can get anything from anyone.

What a coincidence that this takes place on the day that another man, who shot and killed people sitting a watching a movie in a theater was found guilty on all counts of murder.

One thing we are learning from all of this: the grass is not really greener anywhere else. We may have the loser office de la langue francais but at least we still live in a relatively peaceful society, where the gun culture has not yet permeated our society. Imagine, just imagine, how great this place would be without that handful of pea-brained, ignoramuses who call themselves separatists.

Although we never went to university for an economics degree, we do have some common sense. And here’s what we came up with: Greece will never pay its debt back. They just owe too much money. They will either go bankrupt or just never come up with the money. Yes Blanche, that’s what will happen after all the talks in Vienna, the useless yes or no referendum, the flipping back and forth of their socialist Prime Minister, the closure of the banks etc, zero money and the zero economic growth.

Honestly, does Angela Merkel really think that by forcing the Greeks to jump as high as she says they will change their ways? Their mindsets are polar opposites. It could be that Germany is the one of the only countries in Europe that does not close for the whole month of August. For sure the Italians and Greeks do. And that’s when the Greek people will sit and contemplate life…on the beach…with a nice glass of ouzo…under the umbrella listening to the waves hit the shore.

If have nothing to worry about, Blanche has something for you. Does anyone out there own a weather radio? Ah, you ask yourself, what’s that?

Well, just like smoke detectors detect smoke, weather radios detect weather. It seems that when bad weather is heading your way, an alarm goes off on the radio and wakes you up in the middle of the night. Now for us ‘folks’ in the north, nothing happens to us if we wake up in the morning to a foot of snow. But, if you live say in Oklahoma or anywhere in tornado alley and you go to sleep, chances are if a tornado hits in the middle of the night you’ll wind up with Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, minus the red sparkly shoes.

Transmitting from more than 1,000 antennas across the United States and its territories, each National Weather Service office operates its own radio station that sends out updated weather information on a constant loop, interrupting regular programming when they issue an urgent alert like a severe weather watch or warning.They sell between $25 and $40, most likely online. Blanche, you’re such a public service helper.

Seems disgraced bike rider Lance Armstrong is testing the waters to see if he would be accepted again in the Tour de France circles. He got his answer today. A loud, resounding no. Riders were incensed that he took away the limelight from those who ride honestly and drug-free. Some people need to have their egos deflated.

Good Shabbos,

We’ll talk…

Memo to the Office de la Langue Francais: Are you always so idiotic or are you making a special effort today?

The escape of that Mexican drug dude was not just any old escape. Did you know that there was a tunnel complete with lighting, ventilation and even a modified motorcycle on tracks? It is also thought that when he exited the tunnel he had an armed escort of a mixture of prison guards and other unsavory characters. Quite a few people had to be involved in building that tunnel and you can be very sure no one is talking.

Yesterday, from wherever he was, one of Guzman’s first acts was to tweet out a threat to Donald Trump. It wasn’t pretty and Trump is taking it seriously. We can’t say much here as we had our own prison escapes recently. Not as elaborate, nonetheless they make the whole prison system look like it’s run from the inside out.

While Obama’s missives were in Vienna closing the ‘deal’ with Iran, Iran’s supposedly moderate president chose to go to a rally in Tehran where a frenzied mob burned American and Israeli flags and chanted ‘Death to America,’ ‘Death to Israel.’

There’s nothing much to say about this except that it could be the biggest historical mistake of our lifetime. It will, in the end, be the legacy that Obama is leaving everyone to deal with after he leaves office and collects his millions of dollars on speaking engagements. And by the way, he not now not only looks like Alfred E. Neuman from Mad Magazine, he acts like him.

The madcap office de la langue francais is at it again. This time the target was a truck selling cheese products like poutine etc. They didn’t like it’s name – Le Cheese. If anyone is making Quebec look like a bunch of backwater buffoons, it is this little group getting paid with our tax dollars. People want a baseball team here? They want to build a stadium? Forget it. With these items popping up in the news every month or so, no one in their right mind would invest a cent here.

Who wants to go up to Couillard and yell in his face: GET RID OF THOSE IDIOTS! What? You’re all yelling at your computers or iphones? Couillard is weak and ineffective. Fech.

And who exactly is ratting on these people who just want to eek out a living? We would venture a guess that it’s one or two french Canadians with nothing to do with their time. They most likely can’t read a word of English or any other language for that matter, so anything not in french is a blight on the earth. What a bunch of absolute, total LOSERS.

And then there are the Greeks.
If we lived there we would for sure have to be on valium or some kind of tranquilizer. Every 24 hours the game changes 180 degrees. Sunday was the drop dead date, now it’s tomorrow.

After getting elected on a platform of telling the people that they would never have to accept any more austerity measures from the EU and after everyone voted no to the bailout – zut alors – the prime minister had to eat his words. He now has to sell the following to his government before any real talks with Europe can begin: increase its sales tax, pare pensions for poorer workers, and set up a fiscal council to double check the government’s budgets. He also has to streamline the bureaucracy whatever way Europe tells it to, ratify the euro zone’s rules about resolving dying banks, speed up its judicial process, privatize its electricity network, allow stores to open on Sundays, and create more competition among pharmacies and bakeries.

After reading some of these measures we wondered to ourselves when exactly the Greek people work and what kind of work ethic those people have. Obviously they enjoy the beach and other fun things rather than working. Looks like the lyrics to the Nat King Cole song The Party’s Over were written just for this occasion. You be the judge:

The party’s over
It’s time to call it a day
They’ve burst your pretty balloon
And taken the moon away
It’s time to wind up the masquerade
Just make your mind up the piper must be paid.

If you are a space aficionado, today was your day. Today all nine objects considered by many to be the Solar System’s planets – from Mercury through to Pluto – have now been visited at least once by a probe. A picture of Pluto was sent to earth today by the New Horizons spacecraft speeding past the planet at 14km per second. While we don’t really understand the ramifications of this, as we are not scientifically inclined – to put it mildly, we do grasp the enormity of the project. Don’t you wonder how the Mars Bar got its name?

Sometimes The Thoughts in My head Get Bored so they Go Out For a Stroll Through My Mouth…It rarely ends well.

Yesterday there were multiple major ‘glitches’ on the New York Stock Exchange, United Airlines, Wall Street Journal and one more place that no one knew about. Everyone involved kept saying that it was just a coincidence. Tell it to the marines.

Today it was revealed that anonymous sent out a cryptic threat the night before the NYSE went down for hours – “Wonder if tomorrow is going to be bad for Wall Street…. we can only hope.”

United Airlines briefly grounded all of its flights due to a system-wide failure and what went relatively unreported was a power outage in Washington DC affecting some 2500 people.

One glitch we could buy. Maybe even two. But four? Let’s wait a few days and see what emerges. We bet that someone is responsible for this. The bigger threat of course is that all the water and electrical systems are run by computers. If those go down… Let’s just say all those people who have stockpiles of emergency food, water and cash will be sitting pretty.

Sunday, July 12 is the drop-dead date for Greece. Somehow we have heard that story before. Aside from trying to broker a deal, Europe is also making contingency plans for a ‘black scenario’ where Greece leaves the EU. They will do so with no money and virtually no infrastructure to start their economic engine.

The banks have been shut down for more than a week and ATM machines empty. Small businesses have begun issuing parallel scrip currencies to cope with the liquidity squeeze.

Without any fresh injection of emergency funds, Greece is set to default on a €4.2bn payment to the European Central Bank in 12 days, putting it on the inexorable path of issuing an alternative currency and a chaotic eurozone exit.

If the EU does give Greece money, we venture a guess that nothing will change because one cannot change the mindset of people. It will take at least one generation to do that. The Greeks are set in their ‘we deserve’ mode of living. We say let em go and let the chips fall were they may.

If you went to university to get a degree to be, say a social worker, you are most likely eking out a meager living. Now, had you gone to electrician school and then got a job with Hydro Quebec, you would be making a bundle of money.

Some hardworking employees of Hydro Quebec managed to more than double their salaries by doing overtime last year. It seems that ten Hydro workers pulled in overtime and resulting bonuses topping $100,000 in 2014.

The worker doing the most hours pushed his salary from its base of $71,000 annually to $188,000.

Maybe it’s time to think about going back to school…

Donald Trump is certainly adding some much needed spice to the long, long, long and rather boring US election campaign. We watched some of his more ‘interesting’ press conferences and the first thing we noticed is that he does the ‘comb over’. You know when men are losing their hair and comb it from the very back all the way to the front. Not a pretty sight. But we digress.

Here are a three of Trump’s more quotable quotes. After you read the last one you may agree that Trump could use a filter.

The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make US manufacturing non-competitive.

It’s freezing and snowing in New York. We need global warming.

We saved the best for last. We caution you to hold on to something when you read this:
Black guys counting my money? I hate it. The only guys I want counting my money are little short guys wearing yarmulkas all day.

Despite bikers riding around with the confederate flag draped around them, South Carolina is removing the confederate flag from the state capital grounds. After a long, drawn out session in the House of Representatives, a vote was finally taken at 1:00 am. Our fear? There are many nutcases out there who may do something very nasty once this bill actually comes to fruition. They can take down the flag but they can’t take what the flag represents out of the people.

We would suggest staying away from London for the next few days.
There is a total strike of their ‘tube’ aka subway system. Chaos is the operative word. The mayor of London, Boris Johnson gave an interview in his bicycle helmet. We are not sure if people knew this was coming or were taken by surprise. Either way, the hordes of people waiting for buses is causing fights in the streets. Nasty.

If you happen to be in Oregon any time soon and decide to fly within the state you can now take some weed with you on the plane. Just don’t fly out of Oregon with it or you’ll get nailed. Well maybe not in Colorado. Chill dude…

Good Shabbos
We’ll talk…

Money Does Not Grow on Trees. Bananas Do. Really???

So who believes that Arthur Porter is dead? Is this not the most bizarre business you have seen in a long time? His ‘friend’ the doctor said he died. His other friend the ‘biographer’ also said he died. Alas,  no one has seen a  death certificate. Seems we’re not the only ones with suspicions. Quebec’s anti-corruption squad is sending two investigators to Panama to collect evidence proving that Arthur Porter is dead.

While Porter may indeed checked into another location, until it is 100% proven, we here in Montreal will not believe it.

Although we are great fans of our Prime Minister Stephen Harper, we must say that his choice of candidates for many things from the privy council – Arthur Porter, to Senators – Mike Duffy on trial, Pamela Wallin, waiting for trial, Patrick Brazeau, a total nutcase and the latest scandal – Don Meredith accused of shall we say not nice things with a minor. By far Harper’s worst appointment is Porter. Could no one see how slimey this guy was? He must have used a tube of Brylcreem (a little dab’ll do you) before left the house. Although we never got close to him  we have no doubt that he also used an inordinate amount of aftershave. Goes with the bowtie.

Can anyone explain why people are still swimming in the ocean off North Carolina? There have been 10 shark attacks in the past couple of weeks. We can understand that people like to live dangerously but this is living like a dolt. Why would anyone chance getting their limbs chewed off? Only in America.

It appears that those leading the country of Greece are slightly confused – to say the least.
Alexis Tsipras the Prime Minister blew up negotiations with European creditors on staving off default, then retreated and accepted more or less the same terms, only to have European leaders tell him the offer had expired. Angela Merkel called his bluff.

Then there’s the referendum on Sunday. Greeks are supposed to vote but no one there or elsewhere seems sure what they will be asked, or what the consequences will be for voting yes or no. Confused? Wait, we’ll give you more.

Greece will need an extra 50bn euros ($55bn) over the next three years to stabilize its finances under the existing, disputed bailout plans. Dat’s a lotta money Blanche. Another blow came today from the IMF – International Monetary Fund – who said that the forecast for Greek economic growth went from 2.5% to zero. Dey are in big twouble.

Can someone please explain what exactly Donald Trump is doing? Aside from self-imploding? He said he was going to run for President but never filed the papers. He has angered everyone from Mexico to China and everywhere in between. To top it off, pardon the pun, whoever dyes his hair should go back to hair dying school. It’s the worst blonde we’ve ever seen. One would think that he’s just bored with life and looking for something new to do. We also think he chose the wrong things.

Lest you think that Greece is the only country in trouble, think again. The governor of  Puerto Rico’s said on Tuesday that his country’s $72 billion public debt is unpayable due to the current state of the economy, which is in a nearly 9-year-old recession. Can we talk?

Why are countries lending money to other countries with a zero economy? Can’t be because they think they will be paid back. They can’t be that dumb. Italy is in trouble as is Spain. One of the reasons that all of these places are having issues has to do with pensions. We have the same problem right here in la belle province.

People work for the government until they are 55 or 60 and then expect to receive a pension of up to 80% of their salary. What country can sustain that? We are the furthest thing from an economist, but even we can figure out no one can afford to keep that up. Blanche, go git a big bag an a mattress. We is gonna be hidin our money in dere so no one can take it.

Good Shabbos
We’ll talk…

The Never-ending Greek Odyssey

Greece has the dubious distinction of being in the company of Zimbabwe, Sudan and Somalia who also defaulted on their loans. The difference is that Greece is not a third world country – or at least it wasn’t until tonight.

Lest one not grasp the enormity of the situation here are a few things we heard today: No one can buy anything online – no apps, no airline tickets, no food or clothing as the banks are closed and the credit card companies have stopped taking people’s credit cards. There is very little food left in the stores. Taking a cab? People have no money to pay the driver. The best of course are the IOU’s being issued by the government. And by the way, if Greece leaves the Euro, those IOU’s will become the currency until the drachma kicks in.

These are uncharted waters and if anyone thinks they know the outcome of Sunday’s referendum whether to stay or leave the EU, they are full of it. It’s one of the biggest crap shoots in history.

And speaking of being full of it, Donald Trump wins that prize hands down.
Why? Here’s what he said: That he would build a “great wall” and make Mexico pay for it because Mexico is “sending” people who are rapists, drug dealers and criminals, and a few “good people,” too.

An exaggeration but not completely off the mark. The illegal immigrant issue in the southern states like Texas and California is very real. They are bearing the brunt of people sneaking into the US via unsecured borders. Often it’s families and decent people coming in. But sometimes Blanche, da bad guys get in – and den we have to watch it.

Due to Trump’s remarks, NBC cancelled their partnership with him in the Miss Universe and Miss America pageants. Can we talk? Are these ‘beauty’ pageants idiotic or what? They remind us of mother’s day – which should be everyday of the year, not relegated to one pathetic day. Same with beauty pageants. They need a show to pick the ‘most’ beautiful women? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and not chosen randomly by ‘judges’ watching half-naked women parading around in bathing suits.  Next thing ya know we’ll find out those judges were paid off. At least with Trump in the presidential race there are some juicy tidbits.

What’s up with Eugenie Bouchard, Canada’s ace woman’s tennis player?
Don’t tell us that she peaked last year in Australia? Last year’s Wimbledon runner-up, she lost her opening match at this year’s tournament. She also lost 10 of 11 matches in one stretch this year and lost in the first round at the French Open. She best have a nice line of clothing and some advertising gigs lined up because from tennis she’s not making a living.

A chapter of the Ku Klux Klan plans to hold a rally next month on the grounds
of South Carolina’s state capitol to protest efforts to remove the Confederate flag that flies there. Nothing more to say here except that bigotry is alive and well down south – openly. Pathetic.

Your garbage can help fuel airplanes. We hope they have a odor eater along with the machine that turns garbage into fuel. United Airlines bought a $30 million stake in a company called Fulcrum Bioenergy and plans to go into business with the company, building factories to convert trash into jet fuel. Blanche, along wit the eyeshades maybe go git dem dere noseplugs.

Back to Greece for a moment. There are some people who love a default and are going to Greece for their vacation. Will the hotels have food? Unlikely. Will the banks have money? Unlikely. What’s a tourist to do? Why bring their own wads of cash. And then? They are sitting ducks for desperate people who will resort to doing desperate things to obtain money. For them, a live walking and talking bank machine would do just fine.

Hold onto this email address in case you want to drop her a line or invite her out for a coffee : We are referring to Hillary Clinton who is releasing the last of her emails tonight or tomorrow. Lest you think she’s giving over the goods in their entirety, think again. She has erased what she doesn’t want anyone to know about.

America is very jittery, to put it mildly, that ‘something’ ugly could happen this July 4th weekend. Authorities have already picked up a few losers planning to wreak havoc. Here are some of the plans aside from the fireworks and parades:

Because the fireworks are in Manhattan’s East side, the FDR Drive will be swept for explosives from both land and sea. And to protect crowds from a possible car bomb, sanitation trucks filled with sand will act as barriers.

• Trash cans will be removed
• Manhole covers will be welded into place
• Snipers will be strategically placed
• Spotters will be placed in the crowd
• 100 mobile cameras will be used on land and in the air.

Now don’t you feel like going to watch the fireworks?

We’ll talk…