Monthly Archives: September 2015

Don’t You Hate it When People Come to Your House and Ask if You Have a Bathroom? No, Genius, We Use the Tree in the Backyard.

We have said this on more than one occasion – Montreal’s city engineers are ignoramuses.  We’ve recounted some crazy stories, but this one takes the cake or the terlit.  Get this: Beginning Oct. 18,  Montreal  will be spewing raw sewage directly into the river for a week due to work on the Bonaventure expressway. So eight billion litres of untreated water will wind up in the river. Shall we say this in English? When you flush your terlit it’s going right into the river.

The city’s director of waste water treatment Richard Fontaine – another genius – says he has consulted with the provincial environment ministry. And? This is normal?

“In terms of scope, in terms of time, in terms of work, this is the period when the work is less likely to have negative effects on the river. When we look at the fish population, it’s not a period when they have reproduction cycles.

The fish population? How about the human population? How about bacteria flying everywhere? How about the smell that will most likely be gross. Oh yes, one more thing. That brainwave is urging aqua sport enthusiasts to stay off the river during the operation. Vive la Quebec libre. Could you imagine these airheads running a country?

Obama totally and completely made the United States into a lemming. He met recently with Putin and was no match for him, to say the least. Putin showed up at the United Nations on Monday for the first time in a decade, proposing a coup against U.S. global leadership. Nice eh?

It gets better or worse: Putin wasn’t the only leader of a country challenging the United States to effectively upstage Obama at the annual global meeting, which a U.S. president traditionally uses to command the spotlight.

Speeches by Chinese President Xi Jinping and Iranian President Hassan Rouhani left Obama defending not only his personal foreign policy legacy. Obama offered justification of his policies – particularly emphasizing diplomacy over the use of force – in his own U.N. address, but he seemed on the defensive amid claims by critics that his policies have emboldened U.S. adversaries. Really? We have read that the US will never recover from Obama’s eight year apology presidency.

Here’s an adage that is most often proven right: It’s not good to peak too early in the polls.

About three weeks ago, it looked like either an NDP or Liberal minority government. The ruling Conservative party under Harper came in at a dismal third. Not one to lie down and give up (we would say die but that’s a tad harsh, n’est pas?) Harper decided that his campaign needed some help, to put it mildly, so he sought out a dude by the name of Lynton Crosby from Australia. He’s the person who turned around David Cameron’s fortunes in England when everyone thought he was a dead duck. Harper’s decision seems to have been fruitful as the latest polls are showing him leading both other parties.

Aside from Crosby, it seems that the NDP party is slipping and it is not the Liberals under Trudeau who are picking up the numbers, but Harper. Given all of this, if the last few weeks of polling are any guide, the numbers could revert to a three-way race in a matter of days. Ladies and gentlemen, it ain’t over till the fat lady sings and that’s on October 19.

Since Bill and Hillary Clinton left the White House in 2001, they have earned more than $230 million.  Never mind, she’s still one of the ‘little people’. Keep reading.

But wait: in federal filings the Clintons claim they are worth somewhere between $11 million and $53 million. After layering years of disclosures on top of annual tax returns, Forbes estimates their combined net worth at $45 million. Where did all of the money go? No one seems to know, and the Clintons aren’t offering any answers. Now that’s a surprise.

Someone from Forbes magazine did some serious sleuthing and it’s well worth reading even if you’re not a math person: From 2001 to 2014 the Clintons spent $95 million on taxes. Hillary’s 2008 presidential run cost her $13 million. (Seriously?) Their two homes cost a combined $5 million, and the Clintons have given away $22 million to charity. Add it up and you get $135 million. If the Clintons made $230 million, spent $135 million and have just $45 million left over, what happened to the other $50 million?

Here’s a headline – no one will ever know. Those two are more slippery than a noodle covered in olive oil. We will be very surprised is she is even nominated to run for president. Too many ‘issues’ with that sneaky couple.

If you happen to be a runner, like someone who puts on running shoes and goes for, oh say a 30 kilometer run just for the fun of it, there’s someone of your ilk who mapped out the best cities to run in.
Can we talk? Don’t you wonder what happens to someones insides when they are running and shaking things up for long periods of time? Don’t they have to go the loo? Or do all bodily functions simply cease and desist for the time they are running?

Among the best cities to run is Boise Idaho, London, Miami (a tad on the hot side, wouldn’t you say?), Tokyo and Paris. Here’s our suggestion. One can go and visit those places without smashing down on the pavement for hours at a time. It’s called a vacation.

Remember last week Ben Carson, the neuro-surgeon running for President said that he would not advocate that we put a Muslim in charge of this nation. “I absolutely would not agree with that.” Aside from donations of over a million dollars from people who agreed with him, 72 percent of North Carolina voters believe a Muslim should not be allowed to be President of the United States.

Seems the folks in North Carolina are very finicky with who comes to their state. They were marginally more open minded on the issue of whether or not Islam itself should be outlawed—40 percent said it should, 40 percent said it shouldn’t. The other 20 percent came up with this line to make their point: “I’m sorry, are you calling about the Craigslist ad? Someone came and got the lawnmower yesterday.”

We’ll talk…

Wouldn’t It be Nice if the World Were Flat? That Way We Could Push Off People We Didn’t Like.

The BDS movement is alive and well in Montreal. In case you’re not sure what that movement is, we will enlighten you. It stands for Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions against Israel and the diaspora.

Over the past couple of days, unbeknownst to anyone not living in the Plateau area of Montreal, specifically in the very obviously observant areas, posters have been put up depicting dead arab children with the headline: Israel kills children and Harper applauds. The police have refused to allow anyone to take down the signs.

Couple this with the community alert we just received that on Wednesday, which is Yom Kippur, a BDS pro palestinian group is planning a protest on Park Avenue between Bernard and Van Horne. The community was asked to ignore the protesters as they would like nothing more than an altercation.

Guess what? Harper is right and both Trudeau and Mulcair are dead wrong on the syrian refugee issue. Harper is treading slowly and  carefully as one has not a clue what they are getting. Unless people are vetted and have family here (legitimately), they should be taken in by Qatar, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia etc.

Yesterday an eight-year old girl was playing in the park when she was suddenly attacked by two dogs, one ostensibly a pitbull. She will be fine. Blanche has her own story about vicious dogs. We were out for a walk last week when we saw a man and woman each holding a dog on a leash. As we approached each other, we saw that they reigned in the dogs very close to them, holding onto the leashes for dear life. As we passed them the dogs began to bark in a way that said if they got loose they would have eaten us for supper. No joke. We have never heard such vicious barking in our lives.

After they passed and we came to ourselves, we thought what is the point of having ‘pets’ who, if not held extremely tightly with a leash would no doubt attack someone. These are not house pets. These are nasty animals who belong in a place where they cannot harm anyone.

By now you have no doubt heard that the Pope was in Cuba yesterday. He’s coming to New York (where they will endure the mother-of-all gridlock for two days) and then visiting Washington on Wednesday. Oh wait. Wednesday is Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year. And that’s the day that was chosen for the visit?

Everything happens for a reason. Over the millenia the catholic church did more to foment pogroms and hatred of Jews than any other religion. It is no coincidence that most Jews will be fasting and asking G-d for forgiveness that day, rather than going to see the Pope. While Pope Francis may be one of the ‘better ones’, he still represents a religion that caused the Jewish people untold misery. Now we have an out not to go and pay homage to him.

Europe got itself into a mess that is going to take a miracle to get out of. Those syrian refugees or economic migrants have become too much for Germany who offered to take no less than 800,000. Angela Merkel has rescinded her offer, lowered the number and shut the door via barbed wire fences. Hungary doesn’t want them. So where are they? Stuck in Balkans between Croatia, Greece, Macedonia and Serbia. They have nowhere to go and no one wants them.

Couple this with the fact that it seems that for every 100 that get in, 2 belong to isis and are using the refugees to sneak into Europe. Add to this mess the fact that the Germany has observed a disturbing new trend that combines two threats. Radicals already in Germany are increasingly trying to penetrate the shelters that hold desperate and increasingly volatile refugees who made it to Germany to recruit people who have absolutely nothing to lose.

Yet again Margaret Thatcher looks like a genius. She did not allow Great Britain to enter the EU. Those countries who did join are now looked upon as one unit. No one can really make any unilateral decisions. Had the countries remained autonomous they could have rejected the syrians outright. Now they all agreed to take them in and they will all have to get to together to build a very big boat to send them elsewhere.

The Canadian election campaign his humming along. Thomas Mulcair, leader of the NDP is saying some pretty silly things and it’s going to come back and bite him.

He stated that Stephen Harper is “playing a very divisive game” with his government’s effort to impose a ban on niqabs during the citizenship oath. A niqab in case you didn’t know covers the entire face except for the eyes. Now you tell us, how exactly can one see who is becoming a Canadian with their face covered. Who is that masked person? The same person as the name on the form? Her aunt, sister, cousin, terrorist disguised as someone becoming a Canadian able to hide behind a scarf? Blanche, did you say that? You know it’s politically incorrect.

If anyone is ‘offended’ by this question they are not being honest with themselves. We have a suggestion for Mulcair: go home, cover your face with a handkerchief until only your eyes show and then go out in public and see who recognizes you. We would venture a guess that less than 50% of the people would know who he is. We may not be politically correct, but we are correct that ya don’t know who’s behind the mask.

Have an easy fast.
We’ll talk…

Never Ask Google For Medical Advice. We Have Gone from a Mild Headache to Clinically Dead in Three Clicks.

Up until last night we were fans of Donald Trump. He sounded fresh, had no political baggage and although he has no filter, somehow he got away with saying some really nasty things.

Last night he looked out of his league. We watched off and on, mostly the last hour. Can we talk? A three hour debate? How did they stand for that long, especially Carly Fiorina who was in heels. While she is very slight, nonetheless standing on heels in one place for so long cannot be comfortable. But we digress.

When Trump was asked to explain his take on autism and vaccines we sat bolt upright. The English doctor who published that report said that everything he wrote was a fabrication. The non-vacciners don’t believe that. They still won’t vaccinate their children. Trump had to do a serious side-step to move away from that and the fact that he even brought it up does not show him up well at all.

Who shone last night was the only woman in the running, Carly Fiorina. While she was a tad on the stiff side, she is highly intelligent, extremely articulate and quick on her feet. She reminded us of Margaret Thatcher in her authoritative demeanor and was definitely presidential-like. She would give Hillary a serious run for her money.

Rand Paul looks and sounds like an imp. His hair has to go. Chris Christy sounded good but he has truckloads of baggage. Ben Carson was so calm we wondered if he had a pulse. It’s a bit much. Jeb Bush made us nervous. He reminds us a bit of Kramer, a tad jerky. Marco Rubio was good but sweating bullets. Scott Walker was there but invisible.

All in all, while the polls may still have Trump out in front, we think that last night some of his adoring fans might have seen him in a different light. He’s in the game but there’s pretty well no substance.

Tonight is the Canadian debate. Bet you can’t wait. Our election campaign is a serious yawn.

Obama is being his lovely liberal self again. The White House announced a new campaign Thursday to get the 8.8 million legal immigrants in the United States on U.S. citizenship rolls – a message presidential staffers are sending across the nation just in time for voting season.  They’re legal, they breath and once they become citizens they can vote, obviously for the democrat candidate. Keep reading.

The Obama administration is pressing for the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services to make it easier for the legals to pass the test. The agency is going to provide practice tests via cellphone – yes Blanche, you read that right –  as well as hold study and preparatory workshops in key spots around the country. In other words they have to be totally illiterate to fail the exam as they are all but getting the answers. But that’s not all.

Then the White House has a very special plan to make immigrants feel welcome, in part by adjusting Justice Department rules so that those who want to help with the citizenship process can get their credentials quicker. We’ll stay in Canada.

Has anyone seen the insane amount of roadwork happening these days?
If we thought last week was bad, seems that 10 new road works sites are popping up everyday. Where were these dudes when half the city was away on vacation during the 8 weeks of summer? Now they wake up? As we have said on numerous occasions, brains have eluded those in charge of public works here in la belle province. They know they are not accountable to anyone so they just do whatever they heck they want. Too much poutine.

Here’s a travel tip: stay out of New York City on September 24 and 25. Da pope is coming for a short visit. There will no doubt be the mother-of-all gridlock in Manhattan as he’s going to be in the heart of the heart – Fifth and 50th.

Those syrian ‘refugees’ are still swarming all over Europe. Today they broke through police lines in Croatia. They are fighting with the Hungarians and Germany is overloaded. The EU has gotten themselves into a mess they cannot get out of.

Best you not apply for a job as a flight attendant on Air India unless you are skinny. The airline recently tested over 3,000 employees and found that approximately 20% of them were overweight – read fat. These employees were recommended diet and exercise before being reconsidered for employment.

We don’t think this would fly in North America – pardon the pun. If an airline attendant on, say, United was told they were fat and had to lose weight or find another job, the airline would be hit with a lawsuit so fast they wouldn’t know which end of the scale to stand on.

If you were flying American Airlines today you were not a happy camper. Their entire system went down for about two hours grounding plane in three hubs – Miami, Dallas and Chicago. We cannot even imagine what the loos looked like. Everything was up and running again after two hours. This seems to be happening on a pretty regular basis. Glitches they are called. We hope that someone is not testing the systems to one day have one gigantic and very long glitch. And we also hope someone is trying to find out what’s really happening.

Blanche will be coming to you on Monday and Thursday next week as Tuesday is Yom Kippur.

Good Shabbos
We’ll talk…

The Best Thing About Trump? He’s a Limited Edition. Some People are very happy about that.

Remember something called the Arab Brotherhood? The world-wide community of muslims who take care of each other? It’s a crock.

Here are some numbers to contemplate: Jordan and Lebanon, the poorest of the Arab nations took in 630,000 Syrian refugees and 1.3 million respectively. The rest of them – Qatar, the United Arab Emirates, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Oman and Bahrain have taken in zero refugees.

Add to this mix the fact that Iraqis and other arabs are looking at a ticket out of their countries and you have the making of a monumental humanitarian crisis happening as we speak in Europe. Those countries are small and cannot possibly handle the endless numbers of people seeking a new life away from their oppressive regimes.

European countries are looking at a tsunami of people and are scrambling to build walls and fences to keep these people out. It’s too late. They have landed on the shores of Europe and they are not leaving, fences or not.

Australia said they are taking in 12,000 syrians. What they failed to mention is that they are selecting only the christians. They are not interested in the muslims. And that ladies and gentlemen is the big elephant in the room. No one knows exactly what they are getting. There are no background checks on these people. Add to that the fact that most of the time when large swaths of muslims enter a country they do not integrate. They set up a mini-arab country in whatever little town they happen to be in and carry on as though they were in, oh say Syria. You may not like Harper’s attitude to this crisis, but if you really look at the situation, you will see that he’s the only realistic one of the bunch.

A final word on this story. If you want to know who are the 190 cities in the United States taking in Arabs that have never nor will be vetted, just go to this site and scroll down: Department of State Bureau of Population, Refugees, and Migration Office of Admissions – Refugee Processing Center Affiliate Directory.

Here’s something that you’re gonna love. Guess what button is coming to facebook? A dislike button with a thumb down. Imagine, people post things you don’t like. Really? Can we talk? People post the most idiotic things on facebook and it’s high time that instead of hiding them from our page, we can send those morons a message to get a life.

Here’s a scary thought. Hillary was seriously thinking about making Bill her VP running mate. Could you imagine? Unfortunately she was told it would be unconstitutional. She doesn’t have to worry. The chances that she will be running for president will be greatly diminished once the 30,000 emails that she thought had been trashed will now be scrutinized by authorities. It seems that even if you think you have erased things they are in fact, still alive and kicking.

The Republican party has no clue how to deal with Donald Trump. Tomorrow night there is another debate and they are seeking help in how to deal with a bully. It would serve them much better to figure out how to deal with someone who just says it as it is.

People find Trump abrasive and abusive. Personally, we like his style because much of what he says is the truth. Seems the American public feels the same way as they he is way ahead of any of his rivals in the polls.

To site but one example, we heard an interview with him recently where he stated clearly that the government is a business and as such should be run as a business. And to run a business one puts in the best people for the task, not their best friends. Touche.

We’ll talk…

Today is 9/11

No, we did not forget when sending out Blanche last night that today is 9/11. We intentionally left it out to send something this morning.

Mercifully, we have never experienced war in our lifetime. Thank G-d. There were a few milestones that stand out: the Cuban missile crisis, the assassination of President Kennedy, here in Quebec the massive unity rally in 1995 and the murders of Gabi and Rivky Holtzberg and other Holy Jews in Mumbai. None of these events however changed our lives. We remember them but keep on going.

Fourteen years ago on a beautiful Tuesday morning who can ever forget watching the mind-numbing and horrific scenes playing out on CNN.

Watching people jump from their office windows 100 stories above the street to escape the searing heat from the conflagration that had engulfed both towers of the World Trade Center.

Hearing ‘let’s roll’ from the cell phone of a young man by the name of Todd Beamer on flight 93 as he and fellow passengers tried to save the lives of everyone on board that plane.

Watching a plane hitting a part of the Pentagon. The democratic world came to a standstill.

9/11 is not a footnote in history. It changed our lives and the world forever. We continue to live with the repercussions daily, with the Syrian ‘refugee’ issue the latest crises to hit the world.

At 8:45 am today, take a moment to remember the over 3,000 souls who perished that day. Tell your children about it. If we don’t remember our history we are doomed to repeat it.

We are in one of those moods when we want to throw a book at someone’s face and say: We facebooked you.

Obama literally made a deal with the devil. Not only that, but the ruler of Iran has basically spit  in Obama’s face and he thinks it’s raining on him. One wonders exactly how dense he really is.

The supreme leader of Iran, Khamenei, addressed Israel this past week and said, “You will not see next 25 years,” adding that the Jewish state will be hounded until it is destroyed. The quote came against a backdrop of a photograph apparently showing the Iranian leader walking on an Israeli flag painted on a sidewalk.

In case that wasn’t enough for you, Khamenei also reaffirmed his view that the US is a “Great Satan” and that there would be no detente with Washington beyond the nuclear talks: “We approved talks with the United States about [the] nuclear issue specifically. We have not allowed talks with the US in other fields and we [do] not negotiate with them.”

What exactly Obama seems to think this deal will bring him goes beyond the pale of intelligent thinking. He is obviously looking to the future and his ‘legacy’ coupled with the millions of dollars he expects to make when he leaves office based largely on this deal.

May we suggest that instead of leaving a legacy, he will be leaving his country, Israel and the rest of the world the seeds that will, G-d forbid, bring the world to its knees under Iranian totalitarian regime. What a fool.

Queen Elizabeth has reached a milestone as the long reigning Queen in British history at 63 years and seven months. She has outlasted 12 Prime Ministers. Here are some other interesting tidbits:
She has owned more than 30 corgis during her reign.
She has visited Canada 22 times.
She has answered more than three and a half million items of correspondence during her time as monarch.
She has about 25 horses in training for each racing season.
British prime ministers Tony Blair and David Cameron were both born during her reign.
In an average year, she hosts more than 50,000 guests at Buckingham Palace.
She keeps calm and carries on.

We find it hard to cheer on the Toronto Blue Jays who, at the moment, are the best team in eastern division of the American league. Can’t quite answer why, but somehow rooting for a team in TO just doesn’t cut it.

In case you were wondering what the quebec separatist party is up to, wonder no more. They are creating a school for separatists. Yes Blanche, if you want to drink the koolaid and learn the party line off by heart, the leader of that party – PKP is going to give you a venue to do so. He wants the faithful to be able to talk to their friends and relatives about how wonderful our lives will be when they get their own country.

He will tell them that we will have our own army, that we won’t have to pay any more federal taxes, that we will be just fine without the $9 billion transfer payments from the other provinces and that yes, they will take the money from the feds for the new Champlain bridge, which will no doubt be renamed after a very famous separatist.

We suggest the following: a mole in the school. That way everyone will know what’s going on and will be able to open the anti-separatist school using the same techniques but in reverse. Anyone game?

Stephen Harper best be pulling his socks up and get in the campaign game or he’s going to be very well done toast and we will have either a tree-hugging government or one run by the very pretty son of an ex-prime minister. As of now, all Harper has been doing is putting out fires which has left him no time to get his message out. And speaking of messages, what is his message?

If he says vote for me because I’ve been there a long time, he’s going to have to find himself a new home in October. He needs a solid platform with fresh ideas. If he can’t come up with that then he’s tired and should have stepped aside to allow someone else to run. Too late for that now. All us plebs can do is sit back and watch the show.

Here’s something creepy. The new iPhones will be set by default to automatically record a constant stream of sound and video whenever the camera app is in use, without the user pressing the shutter button and even if the camera isn’t set to take video.

In other words, people will be recorded whether they like it or not when you are taking one silly picture. Imagine if someone nearby is saying something they didn’t want you or anyone else to hear? Apple has rejected the basic concept of photography, the photographer’s decision to capture a single image in time and imposed this on you. Could be for our next phone we will be searching out companies less invasive and know-it-all. Seriously.

Good Shabbos. May we all be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life for a sweet, happy and healthy New Year.

We’ll talk…

No, I don’t think you are stupid. I just think you have bad luck when it comes to thinking.

Hillary Clinton is not doing well in the polls, to put it mildly. She is coming across as arrogant, flippant and unfriendly. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out it’s because she is arrogant, flippant and unfriendly. So what are her handlers doing about this? They are going to make her a happier person and put her on talk shows.

Can we talk? At 67 years old, no one is going to make her a happier person. Plus she’s still married to Bill and that automatically will make her crabby. She is what she is and most people don’t like her. Our question is what is she going to do with all that money she raised when she loses? She can’t possibly spend it all. Oh, and we have one more question. Will she stay with Bill or will the grand facade finally come to an end. Blanche, really, you’re so nasty.

Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk who was jailed for refusing to give marriage licenses to same-sex couples, walked free today after five day in jail.
She’s not what one would call a looker. In fact, we were wondering if she has a few old trucks sitting on her front lawn waiting to be repaired and/or eats road kill for dinner. But we digress.

Did you know that her mother was the county clerk and she took her job over? Whatever her religious beliefs someone ought to tell her that she lives in a democracy that has laws that must be obeyed. Even if we don’t like them. Imagine if other people decided, oh, that they needed money and didn’t like that they had to go to jail for robbing a bank. Doesn’t work that way honey.

If you want to change laws, run for office, get elected and try from the inside. Or, find a good lobbyist and pay them gzillions of dollars to plead your case. In this instance, neither of the two are options. Why over a thousand people turned out to cheer her release is a mystery. She’s not going to win this. She either obeys the law or quits her job. She will not
be able to have her cake and eat it. Well, she may have her cake and she may eat it (which she obviously does – hehehehehe), but she ain’t gonna win this battle.

Don’t read this while eating. We warned you in advance.
Here are the dirtiest parts of an airplane: 1. the tray table. 2. the overhead air vent mechanism (not the air itself). 3. the flusher in the bathroom (ugh – nasty). 4. the seat belt buckle. Grossitating. Bring lysol wipes when you travel.

A word about the ‘refugee’ problem plaguing Europe with facts that the liberal, bleeding heart press is not reporting:

What is happening in Syria is a religious civil war fought over the same ideologies as the ones practiced by the vast majority of the refugees. This is an Islamic war fought to determine which branch of Islam will be supreme. It is not a war that started last week or last year, but 1,400 years ago.

The refugees aren’t fleeing a dictator. They are fleeing each other and by taking them in Europe is creating new, fertile ground for their civil war to continue on a new front.

The rest of the muslim world doesn’t want the Syrian refugees. Why? Because the Saudis, Jordanians and Turks have their own problems. They don’t want to import the Syrian Civil War into their own borders. Only Western countries are stupid enough to do that.

While there is a civil war in Syria, those fleeing – for the most part are not refugees. They are economic migrants searching out a better life. As long as the media continues to foster this humanitarian catastrophe, it will never abate.

We happened to be driving downtown today, east of St. Laurent going to an appointment. Getting there seemed to be relatively easy. Coming home was an entirely different story. The amount of ‘fixing’ going on in this city is totally absurd. In fact, it should be called the comedy of the absurd.

There is no way that someone is monitoring where roads are torn up and massive craters dug for who knows what reason. Instead of positive constructing like putting up buildings and stores, this moronic province rips up roads as though someone, very drunk, threw darts to decide what streets get hit.

The best part is, the work is very often wrong, shoddy or just never gets finished due to ‘unforeseen’ pipes underground. If the new hospital’s plumbing system, done by uber professionals planning for umpteen years isn’t working, there is no way this side of you-know-where that the fixing on the roads will ever be done right. When they said brains here all the mothers thought they said trains and didn’t take any.

We’ll talk…

Never Sing in the Shower. Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, slipping leads to paramedics who will see you in your birthday suit.

We are not exactly soccer aficionados. In fact, we don’t know anything about the game. Given that we do read the papers and know that Montreal’s soccer team  went searching for a star player and found one by the name of Didier Drogba. Seems he’s a soccer super-hero.

So he came here, played one game – after getting into shape for 2 weeks and then, poof, hurt his toe and now he’s out. Even with the little we know about soccer, we figured out that to play the game one has to kick the ball. Ergo a booboo on a toe is a big deal. But really. After one game he’s already injured? And then he’ll need therapy to get back into shape? And then the season’s over. He’s laughing all the way to the bank.

In case you haven’t noticed, things on the world stock market are not very good, to put it mildly. How bad is it? So bad that the New York Stock Exchange on Tuesday invoked Rule 48, a measure designed to smooth the opening of the market amid potentially volatile conditions. The rule allows the exchange’s designated market-makers to refrain from disseminating price indications ahead of the opening bell, making it easier and faster to open stocks on days when trading could be volatile. Ya gotta have a strong stomach these days or close your eyes and wait for better times.

This piece is a bit risky to put out there, but it is so bizarre that we could not resist. Pope Francis announced today that for one year only, the “Jubilee Year of Mercy,” coming to a soul in you beginning  December 8, priests may forgive contrite women who have had an abortion. But only for one year.

You may be wondering what’s going on here. We’ll enlighten you. Abortion is one of only a handful of sins—including heresy and physically attacking the pope, punching him right in his little pope face—that will get you excommunicated from the Catholic church. What about murder, will that get you excommunicated you may be wondering. No, it won’t. Honestly, the world is upside down.

It seems that the he/she Jenner opened up a huge can of worms. 150 students at Hillsboro Missouri High School walked out of school Monday to protest against a trans classmate using the girls’ locker room during gym class. Lila Perry has identified as female since age 13 and came out as transgender in the last school year. In English that means Lila now wants to go into the girls locker room but he/she is really a boy.

Parents and girls in the school are not taking this lightly or sitting down. Here’s what they said: Girls need girl locker rooms. Boys need boy locker rooms. Those who don’t know what they are need their own locker room. Case closed.

In case you care or most likely don’t, Los Angeles is going to try to get the 2024 summer olympic games. A decision will be made in Sept. 2017. Can we make a suggestion? Find some brown envelopes and fill them to the brim with crisp, clean US $100 bills. They will be guaranteed to win their bid.

We are giving our two cents about the Mordechai Richler Gazebo-gate affair.  If his name was Pierre LaToilette and he wrote landmark novels and was an icon in Montreal he would have the park and road alongside the gazebo named after him. Mordechai Richler was Jewish.

It’s pretty obvious, unless you are deaf, dumb and blind, that’s the reason that Richler’s gazebo is rotting and no one gives a rats. Even our ‘dear’ mayor, who came on like the nicest guy seems to be ‘one of them’. We give him 48 hours to straighten this out or we he winds up lumped in with many other racist french canadians in this city. Maybe someone wants to pass this on to him. Unless of course he’s too busy to read it.

We’ll talk…