Monthly Archives: October 2015

The Problem is that Obesity runs in your Family. No Dear, the problem is that no one in your family runs.

Last night was yet another Republican debate. People were complaining about how long our election campaign was? The US election campaign goes on for two years, never mind eleven weeks.

It seems that not everyone was happy with CNBC’s moderators. They could not seem to be able to control the ten candidates. Really? It’s hard enough to get a word in edge-wise when ten people are together in a restaurant, never mind a presidential debate.

Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz came out on top of this one. Trump was pretty quiet as was Ben Carson who always looks like he’s sleeping. By the time this election rolls around next November we wonder if people will even come out and vote. Who can listen to this drivel for so long?

Up, up and away in my beautiful balloon…In case you didn’t hear, yesterday a blimp belonging to the US government escaped from its tethers. Roughly $2.7 billion American tax dollars aimlessly floated from Aberdeen, Maryland, to Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania, where it gradually sank and collapsed into the Earth after destroying enough power lines to leave roughly 20,000 people without electricity.

The robot blimp was designed to detect and thwart imaginary attacks against the American homeland, with the key word of course being imaginary. Oh yes, the length of its tethers was one and a half miles long. Don’t you wish you could get your hands on OPM – other people’s money?

Since 1980 China had a one child policy.
Well that policy backfired in a big way. In China boys are much more desirable than girls.  People would find out the gender of their baby and if they weren’t happy abort. You can guess that twice as many girls were aborted than boys.

Fast forward to today. China now finds themselves in a crisis. There are 50% more men than women of marriageable age in this generation. Quel surprise. To try to stem the tide of millions and millions of very unhappy unmarried men, the government suggested that one man marry two women. Like that one? It’s called polygamy.

Today they came out with a new edict. Lo and behold, families are now allowed to have two children. Too little too late.

Remember the last Blanche report where we said that the red meat business was basically a crock. Well, here’s another crock.

For years people have been told to stay away from whole milk, butter and ‘high fat’ yogurt. We were told it caused high blood pressure, high cholesterol and basically would make one fat.

Zut alors a study was done with 15,000 civil servants in Brazil and guess what they found? That low fat anything does not decrease your risk of getting fat, having high blood pressure or high cholesterol. They even went so far as to criticize the American Medical association – imagine? They said a diet of low fat or fat free anything does not keep people slim. Again we were duped by seemingly intelligent people. And again we say, everything in moderation Blanche.

It seems that Laureen Harper wife of our ex Prime Minister Stephen is an animal lover. Nothing wrong with that dearie. Unless of course you build a special bat out-house for ‘rescue’ bats. You read that right. She was saving bats. Now that she’s leaving they had to let the bats go. Does this not sound batty? It’s a good thing she’s moving back to Calgary. She can commune with the cows, sheep, horses, dogs, cats and bats. We are guessing she’s not a people person. Hehehehehe.

And speaking of 24 Sussex, home of our Prime Minister, people have their shorts in a tight knot over the fact that it is going to be renovated. Hello? Get a life dudes. The place is grossly rundown and in need of fixing from top to bottom. If anyone thinks the money saved on never fixing it over the past 30 or 40 years went somewhere important, they are delusional. That money was squandered like most of the other monies collected from our taxes. At least now we’ll be able to see something for our money.

Tom Mulcair, leader of the very losing NDP party finally came out of hiding and issued a statement to his fellow NDP’ers: Go home and reflect on why they lost 50% of their seats in the last election. Then come back in January and we’ll talk about it.

If that’s their leader and that’s what he’s telling them to do, they have a much bigger problem than reflecting. They need to find a new leader and fast. He sounds like he needs a crystal ball or have his palms read by a psychic.

They lost because he’s a lousy leader who pretended he was a Liberal when he’s really a left of left tree-hugging NDP person. Small L liberals like trees. NDP people take them home and talk to them. He needs to go but unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be anyone waiting in the wings to take over. Hey, maybe they should call Gilles Duceppe. He’s bored these days.

Take a Deep Breath But Don’t Inhale a Hot Dog or a Smoked Meat Sandwich

Ok everybody. Take a deep breath. Whenever anyone comes out with exaggerated ‘statistics’ we are wary. Red meat and processed meat cause cancer and are as bad as cigarettes?

First of all, the WHO (world health organization) who led this research project, is part of the United Nations. Right away we are suspicious. After all, they are the ones who put Saudi Arabia, Cuba and Qatar on the human rights council. Those countries are not exactly stalwarts for human rights.

Second of all, we are guessing that one has to eat processed meat for breakfast, lunch and supper daily for twenty years to get really sick. There is no doubt that eating red meat and processed meat including hot dogs is not very healthy. Over the years however we have learned one thing: everything in moderation dear. Let’s bet that in a few months it will come out that this research was flawed and someone like the tofu industry made a fortune in the meantime. Tofu? Fech.

Canada’s post office is a crown corporation which means it is owned and run by the government. One of the things Trudeau campaigned on was that he would stop putting those ugly boxes  on street corners and bring back home delivery. Once he got elected the post office had no choice but to stop putting up those  boxes. And a wise move at that because they now have a new boss and they don’t want to cross him before he even steps into his office.

How about this? Deliver the mail three times a week and get into mailing stuff for online stores. It’s certainly more lucrative than what we’re getting in the mail these days – magazines and other inconsequential mail.

This Friday, October 30 will be exactly 20 years since the referendum that made Blanche lose weight. The uncertainty of whether we were staying in la belle province or packing up and leaving was stomach churning. We actually couldn’t eat while waiting for the results to come in.

We vividly remember that night as we thought it was all over. Winning by 50,000 votes was insanely close. Listening to Parizeau in his losing speech was stunning to say the least. He said that sovereignty had been defeated by “l’argent et le vote ethnique” – “money and the ethnic vote”. He later regretted those words but they were said and have lived on in history.

So what’s the deal with the separatists today? They are kind of like the serpent who just when you thought was dead  rears its ugly head again. There will always be people who want their own country despite the fact that the world is getting smaller and smaller each year. We thought that the farmers in rural Quebec were the ones who didn’t care if they separated or not but that was proven wrong in the last provincial election when the Liberals trounced the separatist party.

Given that, the damage has been done here. Big business is long gone, the smart immigrants are certainly not moving here and the province has no money due to a lower tax base. They lost the battle and then by not shutting up and letting sleeping dogs lie they slowly suffocated the economy of the province. Special people.

Trump must be getting worried. For the first time in months, a national poll shows him at 22% and Ben Carson leading the republican field at 26%.

While we thought Trump to be brutally honest, today we thought him to be rather ignorant. He said that women who wear burkas – total face covering – do so to save on makeup. Really Blanche, he said that? If Trump makes many more of those remarks he’s going to start looking like a buffoon.

The first nation crisis in Val D’or is mind-boggling on many levels. The fact that the provincial government knew about what transpired last May and feigned surprise when it became public last week  is nasty, to say the least. What is insanity is that the police are investigating the police.

Everywhere else in the world there is an independent body that investigates the police. Why here do they still allow the police to investigate themselves? It’s like asking the wolf to take care of the rabbit. Everyone knows the wolf will eat the rabbit. Same thing here. There is an unwritten rule that one body of the police do not snitch or go after another body. Until that changes justice will never be fair.

Those running the show in Val D’or also need a pill. They gave the Premier of Quebec an ultimatum to get up there within 24 hours or else. Or else what? They are obviously not the brightest nails in the toolbox.

Stephen Harper is moving back to Calgary. He must be very happy about that. He can take out his ten gallon hat, mosey on down to the local restaurant and just be a regular dude. Wonder where he’ll wind up working.

We finally read something about what is going on in Israel that makes sense. It’s well worth the read and hits the nail on the head:
http://www.algemeiner.com/2015/10/26/10-things-to-know-about-the-latest-wave-of-palestinian-terror/

Too bad the Blue Jays are out of the world series. Hehehehehehe. Blanche, you’re really dizguzting.

We’ll talk…

Da Fat Lady Sang

Blanche is having email issues with mailchimp. If anyone out there can be of assistance, please contact her.

Actually the fat lady sang before it was over.  By 8:30 pm everyone got a good sense of what was coming when all of the Maritime provinces voted 100% Liberal. Of 33 seats they got 33 seats.

Once the polls in Quebec and Ontario closed it was very clear that the ABH movement had taken hold. Anybody but Harper went from a slogan to a reality.

One thing we can say with certainty. If anyone thinks that Trudeau will be able to fulfill all the promises he made, ya need to take a pill. We will site but one example: No tolls on the new Champlain bridge. The scenario will be thus: He will delve into the finances of the country and zut alors realize that it was much worse than he had ever anticipated. He will be very sorry but due to the errors and mismanagement of the previous government, we will pay tolls on the bridge.

As for his foreign policy, all depends on who he surrounds himself with. Tree-huggers will want to take in every refugee this side of the moon. Middle of the road Liberals will be a bit wary of those coming out of Syria etc. He’s not going to veer much further right so that’s most likely the best we can hope for.

As for Israel…he is a liberal which translates to sitting and talking, trying to make peace between warring factions. Unfortunately in our case only one side understands that. Aside from the fact that there is no one to talk to on the other side, i.e. no leadership, they are too busy murdering people to talk to anyone.

And finally, we are entering the world and era of Camelot. Many will remember those heady Kennedy years when the President, his beautiful wife Jacqueline and two small children occupied the White House. Like it or not, Trudeau is a rock star and the world will look at Canada with much different eyes. Sit tight and watch the show. It will be very interesting.

Now for the scary stuff: Who is Trudeau?

He’s a super-liberal and pledged to attend the United Nations climate conference in Paris in November and to introduce a national plan for combating climate change within 90 days of that summit.
He’s pro-choice, proudly declaring himself a feminist.
He pledged to end tax breaks for the wealthy, to give Canadian families more money to raise their children.
He wants to pull Canada’s military from US military initiatives. He prefers talking to fighting.
He has a tatoo of earth on his bicep. Spare us.
He still smokes weed and plans to legalize it asap. Really?
He is an intellectual lightweight compared to his father. To be fair so is everyone else.
He plans to have an equal number of men and women in his cabinet. How about putting in people who can do the job rather than what they look like?
London newspapers have already dubbed him the sexiest politician in the world.

Time to bring out the barf bag Blanche.
Remember the 14-year-old Texas boy who was arrested for bringing a homemade clock that authorities said resembled a bomb to school? We saw that clock and believe us, it looked like a bomb. But we digress.

So Ahmed gets arrested and guess who comes to his rescue? None other than Barack Obama who personally invited Ahmed to visit the White House, reaching out to him via Twitter. The president was one of many who spoke out about the implications of a 14-year-old Muslim boy accused of building a bomb, put in handcuffs and pulled out a school. It was shortly discovered that the “bomb” was only a digital clock the young innovator built himself.

So where is Ahmed now? He and his family have decided, despite meeting Obama the great, that they are moving to Qatar. He was awarded a place in the the Qatar Young Innovators Program. We know what you’re thinking. Now he’ll learn how to make a real bomb. Obama’s judgment is slightly skewed, n’est pas?

In August, Consumer Reports gave the Telsa a rating of 103 out of 100. In other words, more perfect than perfect. Now, two months later they changed their minds because of drivers’ complaints of a worse-than-average overall problem rate.

It seems that though people love their Tesla, they have major issues with things like the electric motors and charging system. Now that would be a problem seeing as the car is electric. A major electrical issue would put the car ooo – out of order.

Donald Trump continues his move upward. He now has 28% of popular support compared to 18% for Ben Carson, his closest rival. This, despite  shooting off his mouth at a South Carolina rally where he said had he been president 9/11 would not have happened. He stepped back from those comments but one can see he is slightly out of control. He claimed that his immigration policy would have been much different. Good luck down south.

We’ll talk…

Da Fat Lady Sang

Actually the fat lady sang before it was over.  By 8:30 pm everyone got a good sense of what was coming when all of the Maritime provinces voted 100% Liberal. Of 33 seats they got 33 seats.

Once the polls in Quebec and Ontario closed it was very clear that the ABH movement had taken hold. Anybody but Harper went from a slogan to a reality.

One thing we can say with certainty. If anyone thinks that Trudeau will be able to fulfill all the promises he made, ya need to take a pill. We will site but one example: No tolls on the new Champlain bridge. The scenario will be thus: He will delve into the finances of the country and zut alors realize that it was much worse than he had ever anticipated. He will be very sorry but due to the errors and mismanagement of the previous government, we will pay tolls on the bridge.

As for his foreign policy, all depends on who he surrounds himself with. Tree-huggers will want to take in every refugee this side of the moon. Middle of the road Liberals will be a bit wary of those coming out of Syria etc. He’s not going to veer much further right so that’s most likely the best we can hope for.

As for Israel…he is a liberal which translates to sitting and talking, trying to make peace between warring factions. Unfortunately in our case only one side understands that. Aside from the fact that there is no one to talk to on the other side, i.e. no leadership, they are too busy murdering people to talk to anyone.

And finally, we are entering the world and era of Camelot. Many will remember those heady Kennedy years when the President, his beautiful wife Jacqueline and two small children occupied the White House. Like it or not, Trudeau is a rock star and the world will look at Canada with much different eyes. Sit tight and watch the show. It will be very interesting.

Now for the scary stuff: Who is Trudeau?

He’s a super-liberal and pledged to attend the United Nations climate conference in Paris in November and to introduce a national plan for combating climate change within 90 days of that summit.
He’s pro-choice, proudly declaring himself a feminist.
He pledged to end tax breaks for the wealthy, to give Canadian families more money to raise their children.
He wants to pull Canada’s military from US military initiatives. He prefers talking to fighting.
He has a tatoo of earth on his bicep. Spare us.
He still smokes weed and plans to legalize it asap. Really?
He is an intellectual lightweight compared to his father. To be fair so is everyone else.
He plans to have an equal number of men and women in his cabinet. How about putting in people who can do the job rather than what they look like?
London newspapers have already dubbed him the sexiest politician in the world.

Time to bring out the barf bag Blanche.
Remember the 14-year-old Texas boy who was arrested for bringing a homemade clock that authorities said resembled a bomb to school? We saw that clock and believe us, it looked like a bomb. But we digress.

So Ahmed gets arrested and guess who comes to his rescue? None other than Barack Obama who personally invited Ahmed to visit the White House, reaching out to him via Twitter. The president was one of many who spoke out about the implications of a 14-year-old Muslim boy accused of building a bomb, put in handcuffs and pulled out a school. It was shortly discovered that the “bomb” was only a digital clock the young innovator built himself.

So where is Ahmed now? He and his family have decided, despite meeting Obama the great, that they are moving to Qatar. He was awarded a place in the the Qatar Young Innovators Program. We know what you’re thinking. Now he’ll learn how to make a real bomb. Obama’s judgment is slightly skewed, n’est pas?

In August, Consumer Reports gave the Telsa a rating of 103 out of 100. In other words, more perfect than perfect. Now, two months later they changed their minds because of drivers’ complaints of a worse-than-average overall problem rate.

It seems that though people love their Tesla, they have major issues with things like the electric motors and charging system. Now that would be a problem seeing as the car is electric. A major electrical issue would put the car ooo – out of order.

Donald Trump continues his move upward. He now has 28% of popular support compared to 18% for Ben Carson, his closest rival. This, despite  shooting off his mouth at a South Carolina rally where he said had he been president 9/11 would not have happened. He stepped back from those comments but one can see he is slightly out of control. He claimed that his immigration policy would have been much different. Good luck down south.

We’ll talk…

We Are Out of Order Until Further Notice: Our Stupid People Filter Needs Cleaning and Our Give a Hoot Batteries Have Run Out.

Toiletgate is taking on a life of its own. That is if things that go in the toilet can do such a thing. Blanche, this could get very gross.

Whether or not the ‘raw sewage’ (a nice term for human excrement, which a nice term for poop, which is a nice term for….) will do any harm to the fish, birds, plants, turtles, bugs, butterflies etc is not really the issue. It is the sheer volume that is grossing people out. 8 BILLION LITRES OF YOU-KNOW-WHAT flowing into the river for a week.

There are now petitions, marches, political activists and American senators weighing into the fray. Mayor Corderre has flown the coop – ostensibly on a planned trip to Africa. How fitting a place to go, where they most likely have toilets only in hotels and cities. Ya think da mayor will have to do the old McCovey catchers squat? Unlikely cause he wouldn’t be able to get up.  Blanche, you’re really disgusting.

The best is Quebec`s Environment minister, the one who knows ‘exactly what will happen and what is going on’ – not – had to issue a correction over information he had wrongly shared no less than four times. He kept saying that putting a stop to the plan to dump poop in the river would put the city’s water supply at risk. In fact, it would put the plant that treats the city’s waste water at risk. Now don’t you feel like they have the situation in hand?

As we keep saying, brains are a very low criteria to get into  political office. Seems in Quebec, they aren’t even on the list.

Blanche cannot understand the pictures chosen by our local newspaper, the Montreal Gazette, to depict what is transpiring in Israel in these days. Yesterday they used a picture of arab women shrieking and wailing ostensibly due to the death of a son who stabbed an Israeli. It is well known that many of those pictures are staged for the press. Today they chose to show an arab lying on the street surrounded by four or five Israeli soldiers. He had either stabbed someone or was throwing rocks at people or cars. That of course did not appear.

What they are not showing are Israelis – men, women and children – getting stabbed waiting for a bus, walking to work, pushing a stroller or going to pray. It seems to be open season on the Jews in Israel and both male and female arabs, Israeli arabs no less, have decided that instead of making a salad with their knives, they would rather stab a Jew.

The government shut down East Jerusalem and the store keepers are up in arms. We wonder which one of those storekeepers watched, calmly sipping a coke and then spitting at her as Mrs. Benitah was running through their market with a knife in her back after watching her husband get stabbed to death.

There is no doubt that there is a concerted and deliberate effort to get rid of Hillary Clinton. Every day little drips of information regarding her email fiasco hit the press. Today it was a technology subcontractor who worked on her e-mail setup that expressed concerns over the summer that the system was inadequately protected and vulnerable to hackers. Good morning America.

Seems that the sensitive high profile nature of the data needed a serious security upgrade by adding sophisticated encryption technology to its backup systems and this was not done. Everyone is waiting to see what Biden does. If he decides to run her chances diminish even more.

Volkswagon, the company that lied, cheated and duped millions of their tree-hugging buyers into thinking that they were saving the world, is not out of the woods by a long shot.
Someone should enlighten those granola-eating skinny people that until India and China stop building coal-fired factories, nothing’s going to change in the atmosphere. But we digress.

Today, Michael Horn, a top U.S. executive will say he knew Volkswagon might be breaking U.S. emissions rules as long as 18 months before it admitted cheating diesel tests to regulators. Say it ain’t so.

The admission by  Horn is likely to raise questions about why the German company did not act more quickly to tackle its wrongdoing. Now there’s the problem.

Our stupid people filter needs cleaning because it got completely covered over with dust from the street fixers.

Why is the city of Montreal ripping up every street that they can get a truck onto? Honestly, they have to be the stupidest people known to man. They need to go and live in Cuba where the streets really need help. Blanche, you know you’ve said this a zillion times already and are sounding like a broken record.

There is no doubt that digging up the streets business is a make-work project. The problem is the dude on the street to the left has no clue that the dude on the street to the right has also ripped up the pavement and has trucks parked all over the place. So if you try to take a shortcut – fuggedaboutit. You’re trapped like a rat in a cage. Make sure you have good music in your car cause you’ll be bonding with your seat for a very long time – on a daily basis.

In late breaking news, one of the dudes who saved everyone on that train in France a couple of months ago was stabbed in Sacramento last night. The world is insane.

Good Shabbos
We’ll talk…

You Can’t Teach Humanity

In case you do not know what has transpired in Israel in the past few days we will give you a brief synopsis. Last week a young couple were returning home with their four children when their car was ambushed. The parents were murdered, shot in front of the children. It seems that because it was dark and the children remained silent, they were spared.

This past Friday night, a young couple were walking toward the Kotel in Jerusalem when they were attacked by a knife-wielding arab. He stabbed and killed two people, one a 22 year old father – Aharon Banita-Bennett, the other Rabbi Nehemia Lavi, 41, father of seven who tried to thwart the attack. Bennett’s wife was badly injured. Their 2 year-old baby was also injured. Bennett has a brother living in Montreal and his parents were here visiting him and his family. When Shabbat came in on Friday night, they had no idea that their son was murdered.

Last night was the holiday of Simchat Torah and the Consul General of Israel was present at our synagogue festivities. He stood up to address a room packed with well over 700 men, women and children. He had no microphone as it was a Jewish holiday. The room was silent when he spoke. “On Saturday night I had to wait outside the home of the parents of Aharon Banita-Bennett, obm until Shabbat ended to tell his parents that their son had been murdered.” He spoke quietly, telling the crowd that Aharon was already buried and that the parents were flying home tonight at 9:00 pm. To show solidarity, to show that no matter where Jews live in the world when one is in pain, we are all in pain, he asked that people gather in front of the brother’s home to bid farewell to the parents on their journey home to sit shiva for their son. We, as did a few hundred people, heeded his call.

We stood shoulder to shoulder, some quietly singing, others silent. There were no speeches. Watching the parents emerge from the house was one of the most moving moments we have encountered in a very long time. As they left, the crowd parted to allow the car to depart, people following behind.

We will not wade into Israeli politics, it’s too complicated and too heated. What we will suggest is that you take 1:29 seconds to watch the clip that someone took of the murders at the Kotel. Watch the arabs standing around, one casually drinking a coke as he witnessed what was transpiring, listening to the screams of the woman as she ran with a knife in her back. You can’t teach humanity. It’s either inbred or not.
http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/201373#.VhRu46IuqRs

A final note about this: The BBC first reported that an Arab had been shot after an Israeli attack. After the Israeli government threatened to remove the credentials of all their reporters they backtracked and wrote the story as it happened.

Seems the Federal government is not happy that  raw sewage will be dumped into Montreal’s St. Lawrence river starting October 18. No kidding.

The mayor continues to insist that both he, and the Quebec environment ministry, examined the plan to dump the untreated wastewater into the river carefully before moving ahead with it.

“I know one thing. [Quebec environment minister] David Heurtel did his homework. The department of the environment of Quebec did its homework,” Mayor Coderre says. “Because they’re all working with the experts, and we’re providing all the tools and all the answers that they need.”

We will site but one example of quebec ministers and engineers doing their homework. When the Metropolitan exit of St. Laurent was being redone due to constant flooding, engineers and ministers and all kinds of people ‘did their homework’. After they finished the work, which took eons, guess what happened the first time it rained heavily? The exit still flooded. Someone made a mistake and they are now re-doing it for a second time.

This raw sewage business  is  a result of redoing a highway. If anyone believes that anyone in charge knows what they are doing, we have swampland for you in Florida. The ‘experts’ have all the answers? They don’t have answers, they don’t know what they are doing and don’t drink the water for five days starting October 18. Pardon the pun, but they are all full of it.

Hillary Clinton’s email woes continue to haunt her. Just when she thought that finding 30,000 emails would be enough to put the dogs at bay, she got another smack. The State Department has told her to go back and search for still more emails, releasing a letter Tuesday urging her to see whether her Internet providers can recover any of the messages believed to be missing from a “gap” during her first months in office.

Seems that she’s ‘missing’ two months of emails in that 30,000 bunch. Blanche, imagine sifting through all those emails? It’s enough that we have our own 500 or so unread. 30,000? Mind-boggling.

Most people know that the United Nations is a crock. Here’s some proof:

Federal prosecutors indicted John Ashe, the former president of the U.N. General Assembly, on charges that he’d received close to $1.3 million in bribes from Chinese real estate developers. Quel surprise. Reminds us of the olympics. Here’s a list of some of the money he spent:

Two Rolex watches – $54,000
A new BMW X5 – $40,000
South Carolina country club membership – $69,000
Home basketball court – $30,000

We especially like this last one:
A bribe for the Prime Minister of Antigua – $100,000

Blanche, one day the chickens will come home to roost. Dis is just the opening salvo.

We’ll talk…