Monthly Archives: January 2016

Disease Idiotitis: Causes the brain to shut down and the mouth to keep talking. Looks like PKP has it. Best defense: Slap and Run.

And you think you had a bad week. Nothing beats PKP’s week. He has been battling the press about some of his offshore companies evading taxes. Seems people have forgotten he’s leader of the Parti Quebecois. Oh, we get it. He never acted like a leader. We are guessing fist pumps declaring you want a country for your children is not quite the criteria needed to be a leader.

Today it was announced he was divorcing Julie Snyder his wife of 8 months. Of course they have been together for upteen years, split once, married in August but now it appears to be over for good.

The icing on the cake is that a new poll came out and the PQ has dropped 5% under PKP’s watch. Here’s Blanche’s suggestion for the beleaguered leader. Move on. It’s over.

Lest you think the separation issue will disappear with PKP think again. Waiting in the wings to take over is Bernard Drainville. He’s way smarter than PKP, much more cunning, ruthless and insidious. Something to look forward to.

Republican presidential candidate Carly Fiorina, who is currently polling at one percent in Iowa, has a message for those who think she has zero chance of winning the election. “Polls don’t win elections”. Delusional anyone?

The establishment of the Republican party are quickly losing it. It’s not bad enough that Trump may win. What’s worse is that the other candidates are spending gzillions of dollars going after each other tooth and nail while Trump and Cruz cruise – pardon the pun – to Iowa.

A long-time Republican strategist bemoaned that fact that “These guys are so busy fighting one another  they’re only continuing to facilitate the rise of Trump and Cruz.” This same dude said that whoever doesn’t do well in both Iowa and New Hampshire should get the heck outta dodge. In other words, get outta da way and let the chips, or Trump, fall where they may.

In the uh oh department, Apple just released its much-anticipated holiday quarter report.
Revenue came in at $75.87 billion, below the $76.59 billion estimates. Sales were down in the iPad, iPhone and MAC departments. Steve Jobs, wherever he is up there, cannot be a happy camper.

Did you ever lose weight? You know, shut your mouth and stop eating? Well, Oprah Winfrey did just that and because she is a part owner of Weight Watchers, made a lot of money doing it.

Weight Watchers shares rose 20 percent after their spokeswoman Oprah Winfrey tweeted about losing weight using the program. “I lost 26 pounds, and I have eaten bread every single day.” While we are not saying what she is has announced isn’t true, the picture that went with the article made her look like a fuchsia hot air balloon ready for early morning take-off. All she was missing was the basket on the bottom. Blanche, dats dizguzting.

The Donald’s wife has surfaced.Or should we say The Donald has brought his wife forward.

Melania Trump, the Russian born drop-dead gorgeous model, proved that she can actually say a few words, albeit with a heavy Russian accent. Although she is his third wife, they have been married eleven years and knew each other for six years before that. There is little doubt that she will be leaving him any time soon as her new address might well be 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Blanche, you know that’s the White House, right?

This pipeline business is going to bite Codere in his backside.
He’s dead set against it as the pipeline has to run under the St. Lawrence River. In that regard he’s right. If there was ever an accident, you can kiss the St. Lawrence goodbye. Given that, there must be a solution other than a flat out no to Alberta.

In case you were not aware, Quebec, as a ‘have-not’ province, receives $9.5 billion in transfer payments from the rest of Canada, much of it from Alberta. Well, it used to be much. Nowadays Alberta is becoming one of the have-not provinces. Interesting to note that the mayor of Quebec City said ok to the pipeline which will run from Alberta to a port on the East coast that never freezes.

In late breaking news, the Donald has announced he will not take part in the Fox News Thursday night Republican debate. It seems he stared down the people at Fox News, did not like that fact that Megan Kelly was the moderator again, claiming she despises him.

For his part, Trump is holding an event in Iowa and claims that Fox News will lose millions of viewers because he has pulled out. Dis will be interesting to watch, eh Blanche?

There is a chance that Blanche will not be able to do a report on Thursday as we will be in New York at a convention. We may have to wait until next Tuesday to talk… Stay tuned.

We’ll talk…

Trump to Hillary: I’m Sorry. I didn’t mean to push all your buttons. I was just looking for mute.

Can we talk? There’s no doubt that a blizzard can very nasty. There’s also no doubt that when it’s in full force ya can’t go anywhere. But the folks in Washington are taking this a tad too far to put it mildly.

Stores were emptied and ransacked, the national guard called out and they gave the storm a name, like they do hurricanes. It’s called snowstorm Jonas. Seriously?

We put the blame full head on the media. They are absolutely panicking people, referring to the storm as stormaggedon. Dudes, it’s a freaking snowstorm, not Hurricane Sandy or a tornado. Of course people must be prepared and take this seriously. But there’s a fine line between panicking people and preparing them. Seems like the news media has taken the former approach. Oh wait. They are creating a news story. Blanche, honestly sometimes you’re a bit dense.

Did anyone see Aislin’s cartoon today about the Habs? It was perfect, literally a picture worth a thousand words. It depicts the CH logo in a whirlpool, kind of like going down the drain, which of course they are. Tanking like the Titanic.

The general manager gave a press conference today saying that the coach will remain in place. Those players are getting paid gzillions of dollars and for whatever reason cannot get fired up to win a game. They are making stupid, careless mistakes, can’t find the net when shooting the puck and seem to have forgotten how to play professional hockey.

But the dumbest thing they are doing is bringing out captain Max Pacioretty after every single game to give a boring, monotone, depressing analysis of why they lost again. Spare everyone and just go to the dressing room, get dressed and buzz out.

This next piece is infuriating at best, deadly at worst.
The German government admits it cannot account for 600,000 of its 1.1 million asylum seekers – and many could be using multiple identities to travel across Europe. Got that? Exactly what everyone feared has happened. You can kiss your European vacation goodbye for a long time thanks to the EU’s insistence on open borders.

Muslims, the good and bad, are moving all over Europe at will, wherever they so choose. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out what that means. You do have to worry what the bad ones are up to, who they have contacted, what and who was waiting for them and, most importantly, what they are planning and where. Special, eh? Absolute, complete and total stupidity. Like we said, why didn’t the other arab countries take in their beloved brethren?

PKP, the erstwhile leader of Quebec’s separatist party seems to have forgotten he’s in politics and not in his office heading quebecor. He doesn’t like that members of the Liberal party are criticizing his genius idea of an institute teaching people the benefits of separation and the downfalls of staying in Canada.

So instead of going to the press with a normal retort, he sent lawyer’s letters to those who he thought had said ‘slanderous’ things. Can we talk?

He’s not long for his job. He just cannot seem to wrap his head around the fact that as leader of the PQ party, he does not have the liberty to shoot his mouth off like a runaway train. On the other hand, the more he does this, the dumber he looks. Let him keep talking.

Justin may be frolicking in Davos with the rich and famous, but back home in Canada, he incurred the wrath of the families of those killed in Burkina Faso. It took him three days to call and offer condolences and when he did, it seemed like he was speaking from a script. The husband of one of the people murdered told him to go hug his family and then hung up on him.

Justin is obviously going to learn the hard way that being a pretty boy with nice hair and a powerful position does not in any way buy votes with people who can see through him, as this gentleman did. To them, he’s someone who let them down when they needed their country’s support. Unfortunately, supporting others is not in Justin’s vocabulary. He’s one for all and all for one – himself.

There seems to be much gefufelment about the fact that Rene Angelil’s has been accorded a state funeral. Why does he deserve such a send off and why are we paying for it?

While he himself is not the star, his wife, Celine Dion an icon in Quebec. She’s the one and only superstar the French Canadians have, they adore her, they have followed her career and grown with her.

The truth is, Dion feels the same way about her fans as they do about her as people were witness to today, when she stood for a few hours thanking people who came to give her condolences. In the big picture, money in this province has been spent and will be spent on much worse things than this funeral, which, in the end, is all about Celine.

And now a word about The Donald. He’s slightly ahead of Ted Cruz in the polls in Iowa. Insiders say that the real heavy establishment of the Republican party are starting to sweat.

Is this run of Trump’s ever going to end? Is there an outside chance that he could in fact be the presidential candidate? Crazier things have happened. Those navy blue suited red tied dudes best take a chill pill. It’s going to be a long, crazy ride until the winner of this campaign is finally announced. Not breathing until it’s over is not an option.

Good Shabbos,
We’ll talk…

Some People Are So Full of It They Should Have Flushing Handles Instead of Ears.

Just when you thought you heard everything, zut alors, up pops Pierre Karl Peladeau – aka PKP. Lest you forget, he’s the leader of the separatist party who today, stood up for les Anglos . Funny how we all vote Liberal because there is basically no alternative and for the umpteenth time, the Liberals act like we are an appendage to the province.

PKP said it doesn’t make any sense that the Couillard government is leaving out principal players such as major school boards like the CSDM and the EMSB from parliamentary hearings on Bill 86, the education reform bill, which, among other things, eliminates school board elections.

Péladeau said it’s senseless to go ahead with what is a fundamental change in the education system without hearing from all parties including individual school boards. The separatist leader said anglophone school boards and other anglophone groups with a stake in this must be at the table, otherwise… Blanche, hold on to your chair – “This will leave a very sour note to citizens of Quebec who speak English.” And by the way, when was the last time you heard a peep out of Couillard? We’ll tell you – not in a very long time.

Religious Jews in Marseilles in France are facing a wrenching choice: Whether to wear the kippa that proclaims their religion or tuck it away in hopes of staying safe. An attack this week was the last straw for the Marseilles Jewish community’s religious leadership: A machete-wielding 15-year-old slashed a Jewish teacher in the street. Under police questioning, the boy invoked the Islamic State.

Zvi Ammar, head of the Israelite Consistory of Marseilles, asked Jews to go without the kippa “until better days.” President François Hollande called the recommendation intolerable. Two Jewish legislators wore kippas to French Parliament in protest.

“It means that we are projecting part of the responsibility on the victim,” said France’s chief rabbi, Haim Korsia. “What is the limit? … Someone who walks in the street on Saturday morning on his way to the synagogue, isn’t it too visibly Jewish?”

Gut-wrenching questions with no easy answers. Did you know that France has the third largest Jewish population in the world? It is no secret, especially to Hollande that thousands and thousands are leaving for Israel.

We are of the opinion that unless one lives in a place like France or Israel, we cannot and should not comment. Given that, the French government should take a long look in the mirror at what has become of their country, where productive, honest and upstanding citizens fear walking the street as  visible Jews. Pathetic.

Ben Carson’s in deep trouble yet again. His finance chairman and top fundraiser, resigned from the campaign this morning. It seems that other people working on Carson’s campaign were not very happy with the $20,000 a month he was pulling in when this job usually is voluntary. Carson should quit while he’s ahead of the game. Wait a minute. Blanche, do you think Carson went into debt for this campaign? He seems to have plenty of money, but don’t let that fool you. We’ve seen plenty of people driving shmancy cars and sporting eye-popping rings who didn’t have the veritable pot to … in.

If you go to London anytime soon, you may notice a much larger police presence.
The Metropolitan (London) police is  increasing the number of its armed officers by 600, with a third on standby to respond to a mass terrorist attack. Notice the word armed. London Bobbies do not carry guns. The world is changing and sadly, with that change so is our innocence.

Yet another Republican debate tonight.
This one may prove much more entertaining that the last few as Ted Cruz is closing in on Trump and the gloves will be off. Well, for Trump neither the gloves nor his mouth were ever on. But now he’s going to really let go. Dis could be very interesting.

In case you were wondering what’s up with El Niño, the cause of this year’s strange winter, it will peak within the next month before weakening in the spring. What does that mean for us, the frozen chosen in the north? Rain and snow in the drought-plagued West and feel generally milder-than-average temperatures across its northern tier.

Here’s a test for you: Do you believe that there are baby carrot farmers out there who grow baby carrots that pop out of the ground perfectly convenient and smooth? If so, we are about to burst your bubble.

In the early 1980s, the carrot business was stagnant and wasteful. Growing seasons were long, and more than half of what farmers grew was ugly and unfit for grocery shelves. But in 1986, a guy by the name of Mike Yurosek, itching for a way to make use of all the misshapen carrots, tried something new. Instead of tossing them out, he carved them into something more palatable.

At first, he used a potato peeler, which didn’t quite work because the process was too laborious. But then he bought an industrial green-bean cutter. The machine cut the carrots into uniform 2-inch pieces, the standard baby carrot size that persists today. He sent the first batch to a local grocer and the rest is history.

Oh, and one more thing. Baby carrots are not soaked in chlorine. The water used to wash them has a minute amount of chlorine in it, but certainly not enough to make one ill. Enjoy those little babies. They are certainly better than dipping a chip into humous. Well, maybe healthier but there’s nothing like chips, eh Blanche?

Good Shabbos,
We’ll talk…

No Matter How Big a Hammer You Use – You Can’t Pound Common Sense into Stupid People

At the first reading of this next story, one would want to blame the doctor. An older man went to the hospital with abdominal pain. He eventually lost consciousness. The doctor on duty was a specialist in what was ailing this man, which sounds like an abdominal aneurysm or something of the sort. The doctor however said he did not have operating time in the hospital and sent him by ambulance to another hospital where the man subsequently passed away.

But this is not exactly the whole story. The doctor could not operate because the tools which he needed to do so were no longer in that hospital. So even if he could have gotten the man into an operating room, he would have most likely died on the table.

So what is the problem? Bureaucracy. People running hospitals care and foremost about the money honey. The patient is a distant second. The government is looking to save money and they will do so at any cost, including the lives of their citizens.

Here’s something to ponder: Some hospitals do not do stomach surgery. Others do not set bones. How about sending out a general alert to every Quebec citizen who pays taxes and tell them where they should go when there is an emergency? How are we supposed to know that St. Mary’s doesn’t do abdominal surgery? And where should we go if we fall on the ice and break an arm or hip? What about stitches for a cut? Wait a minute Blanche. Doing this would be efficient and make sense. That would never happen here. Better they bend over backwards and sideways to make our lives as difficult as possible. What a bunch of losers.

Tonight is Obama’s last – thank goodness – State of the Union address and his worst nightmare is coming true: Ten American sailors – 9 men and one woman – are in Iranian custody after two small U.S. naval craft apparently briefly entered Iranian territorial waters. It seems that they had mechanical trouble and drifted or found themselves in Iranian waters.

Some official said they would be released tomorrow but who knows? Why are they even keeping them one night? Blanche, you can be very sure that Obama is trying to move heaven and earth not to have to stand up there tonight with 10 service people in Iranian hands. Humiliating would be the word. Frankly, we can’t say we’re unhappy to see Obama squirm. Then again, no drama Obama will not flinch. It ain’t his family there, now is it?

Seems Hillary’s lead over Bernie is dwindling, fading away like the wicked witch of the west. She now has 48%, Sanders 41%. Lest you think that’s not so bad, a month ago she was 20 points ahead of him.

It certainly doesn’t help her cause that the FBI investigation into her use of private email when she was secretary of state has expanded to look at whether the possible “intersection” of Clinton Foundation work and State Department business may have violated public corruption laws.

This new investigative track is in addition to the focus on classified material found on Clinton’s personal server.

This slow drip of leaks erodes her credibility. Not that Sanders is so credible. He’s someone who never left the 1970’s and thinks the rest of the world should do the same. One thing we can say with certainty: If Sanders becomes president, you will see marijuana brownies in every single bakery in the United States. Then we’ll all be happy and who cares who’s president. Pass the potato chips.

Blanche, bring out the big barf bag. We’re reading about Sean Penn who single-handedly made Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman into a folk hero. This man El Chapo is a vicious, heartless murderer and one, of if not the biggest drug dealer in the world. The fact that Penn got to speak to him which ultimately led to Guzman’s capture is the only redeeming feature of his story.

Most likely you missed this little ditty as it happened on french television, on New Year’s eve. For whatever reason, the 18 minute speech that Jacques Parizeau taped if the yes side had won the referendum in 1995 was broadcast. Not many people ever heard it nor for that matter, heard about it because the no side won – by a mere 53,000 votes – and Parizeau nixed his prepared losing speech, instead blaming money and ethnics for the loss.

What exactly was the point of this broadcast is anyone’s guess. Bernie Drainville, one of the masterminds of the Charter of Values said that while listening to that speech for a moment he imagined an independent Quebec. Dude, get a life. While they may still rear their heads again, kind of like a worm that pops up from under the earth every so often, the winning conditions are gone. The youth, who propped up previous years of separatist governments is not interested in owning their own country.

The world has become smaller, their focus is on making a living, paying the bills and having a good time. It may take one more election for the PQ to disappear for a long while. Let’s bet that PKP is not at the helm for the 2018 elections. We bet he won’t be there.

Remember the yahoos in Oregon? Well, it seems that they are losing their lust to take over the government as no one is paying attention to them. They must be getting bored. This Friday night at 7:00 pm they will announce their exit plan. That didn’t take too long.

After reading this we thought of something: Imagine if none of the terrorist attacks were broadcast anywhere in the world? Imagine if none of the perpetrators or their groups got any media mileage out of what they did? We venture to say the world would be in a much different place.

There is no doubt in our mind that just as everyone else is watching CNN when something happens, so are the bad guys. But unlike you and I who sit horrified, they relish and enjoy the attention. Maybe someone should give some thought to reporting something once and letting it die. Can’t hurt to try.

Blanche is now a card carrying member of the CSI team: Can’t Stand Idiots. Anyone want to join?

Is there no one out there in Quebec who is willing to stand up to the government and gas companies and ask why, if oil is down to $33 a barrel gas prices Quebec continue to go up and not just stay down? Did you know that in Toronto they are paying anywhere from 85 cents to $1.00 per liter? Why are we here in Quebec paying up to $1.39 per liter? And why do the gas prices go up on certain days or near the weekend or vacation times?

This place, aka banana republic, is corrupt from top to bottom as we have said on many occasions. We just cannot figure out why nobody has taken on both the gas companies and the government on this one. It doesn’t make sense.

To say that the stock market is not for the faint of heart does not do justice to the billions of people affected around the world. Given that, this is certainly not the first time that we have seen the market crash with a thud that reverberated around the world. Give it time and it will be back up. In the meantime, if you have the stomach, now’s the time to buy.

You can say anything you want about Donald Trump – good or bad. The only thing everyone agrees on is that he is 100% a showman. Tonight he is speaking in Burlington Vermont, which is Bernie Sanders territory.

He chose a venue that hold 1400 people yet printed about 20,000 tickets for the event. While there are certainly not 20,000 people there, the place is full and there are hoards of people outside.

Before being allowed entry, people were asked if they were Trump supporters. If they answered no they were not allowed in. (By the way, Harper did the same thing at events here in Montreal.) Two dudes managed to try to disrupt Trump’s speech by yelling up and down the aisles Dump Trump. They were quickly escorted from the hall but not before Trump said that he loves these kinds of disruptions as it is the only time the media shows the kinds of crowds he’s getting.

The only issue that we cannot fathom is his hair. Whoever is doing that dye job (farbing), needs to get a new color chart.

One more little ditty about Trump: He brought out a video today showing Hillary with both Bill Cosby and Anthony Weiner (aka sexting scandal ). This video was taken at a 2000 at a campaign rally for Clinton’s New York Senate campaign. To be fair, no one new what a sleazeball Cosby was and Weiner still had his pants on. Blanche, you’re getting very close to the line here. It looks like Trump is starting to get warmed up.

Anyone thinking about going to Egypt to see anything including the pyramids need to have their heads examined. Israeli tour buses were attacked and shot at. It seems that protesters aligned with the Muslim Brotherhood opened fire at and shot fireworks towards a tour bus and the hotel. Who in their right mind would venture directly into the line of fire, especially Jews and Israelis. We are giving them the benefit of the doubt and saying that they are so stupid that they are not accountable for their actions.

We have more news on the dodos holed up in Oregon. It seems they are cold and hungry because they are asking for things on Facebook. Yes Blanche, they need cold weather socks, underwear, snacks, energy drinks etc. We would very much like to meet the yahoos bringing in those supplies.

Wait it gets better. Law enforcement people are allowing these brainwaves to come and go at will but they don’t want to be recognized. So…they are covering their heads with plastic tarps. Now that’s a sight, eh?

Good Shabbos,
We’ll talk…

From the Dudes in Oregon: We’re in the mood fer some trouble. Who’s With Us?!!

Ever hear of Burns Oregon? Take note Blanche. It’s going to become a household name in the next few days. That’s because a few dozen yahoos have taken over the desolate headquarters of a federally owned wildlife refuge and said they weren’t going to leave until the government stops its “tyranny.” Weird is a kind description of these heavily armed people.

The group’s spokesman is Ammon Bundy, the son of anti-government Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy. Now we’ve heard some strange names before, but these two take the cake. Certainly better than Billy-Bob and Gomer.

The father made national news when he led a huge standoff against the feds in 2014 in which he and his brother participated. The standoff took on racist shades when the elder Bundy wondered aloud to a New York Times reporter whether black people would be better off enslaved. Special.

The occupiers are survivalists and can stay in that building indefinitely. It also seems that no law enforcement agency is coming to get them out any time soon. Ah but they have other plans. Bundy is now off Twitter but for the moment still on Facebook. Very shortly they are going to turn off the electricity. Then they are going to turn off the water. Unless they plan on burning the building to keep warm, these dudes are in for a pretty nasty few weeks. Let’s face it, going to loo outside when it’s minus whatever is not very comfortable even if you can manage a fur seat. Blanche, fech.

The taxi drivers in Montreal need a few lessons on public relations.
They plan on blocking every bridge in Montreal some time in January. Oh, don’t worry, they will politely let you know when they will be holding you hostage.

Do they  think that by preventing people from getting to work or appointments they will get the public on their side? It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out the answer. They will infuriate everyone. That’s not to say Uber is much better. It seems that on New Year’s eve people were charged 9 or 10 times the regular fare to get home or wherever they were going. So if your fare should have been $35 it was $350. Special eh?

The government has to step in and stop the taxi drivers from what they are planning and get their act together to control Uber. This is turning out to be one big farce.

Donald Trump seems to still be in the lead in the polls, but… Blanche did some sleuthing on serious sites and found the following: Nationally, Trump is creaming everyone with 35%, Cruz way behind at 19, Rubio at 11 and Carson at 8.

Ah, but here’s something: In Iowa, Cruz has 31% with Trump at 27. In New Hampshire, Trump is again beating everyone at 26% with Cruz at 13%. More telling is California where Trump and Cruz are basically tied. Let’s see what happens when Trump starts on Bill as he has hit the road campaigning for his beloved – hehehehehehe.

If you think that corruption has ended in the city of Laval, think again. It appears that someone is being paid $3000 a day – yes, you read that correctly, for IT service. In English that’s technical support. When city officials were contacted, they said the contract is above board  and that the rate being paid out is consistent with the requirements of the job. Come on. Blanche is very happy she doesn’t live in Laval. Something stinks there big time.

No drama Obama actually showed a human side today. Didn’t take long, maybe seven years. He was speaking about gun control and when referring to the Sandy Hook massacre of 20 six-year olds being slaughtered, actually shed a tear.

Obama hopes to expand the number of sales subject to background checks. Under current law, only federally licensed gun dealers must conduct background checks on buyers. But at gun shows, websites and flea markets, sellers often skirt that requirement by declining to register as licensed dealers. At the heart of the issue, the big elephant in the room is mental illness. Most of those who commit mass shootings are either at the edge or over it.

The craziest thing however is that every time Obama opens his mouth about gun control the gun sales soar. Looks like no one in the United States wants to be caught gunless. Hiddey ho and away Silver!

Monday was the biggest losing day in the stock market since the 1930’s. While smaller players lost a lot of money – all of it on paper, there were some big boys who must have been gulping:

We’ll talk…