Note to Hillary: Don’t Stress About Your Eyesight As You Get Older. It’s Natures Way of Protecting You From Shock As You Pass By a Mirror.

Blanche, sometimes someone comes along and says exactly what we were thinking. Jackie Mason, one of the funniest comedians around, who happens to be Jewish and actually says it, had much to say about Bernie Sanders. It is to be noted that the following words are Mason’s, but truth be told, they echo our sentiments exactly.

“A schmuck like Bernie Sanders pops out who doesn’t even know what’s going on and doesn’t care. Because to him Israel getting wiped out is no problem. Climate change is the only problem. To him, the most important thing in the world is climate change. If Israel gave up their country but they fought for climate change, he would love Israel. In ten minutes, they would be his favorite country.”

Jackie Mason got it right and is not afraid to say the truth. Imagine if Ted Cruz who is an evangelist ignored his religion and pretended it didn’t exist? It wouldn’t go over well and people would look at him like a strange bird. Which is exactly what Sanders is – a strange bird afraid to say who he is and where he came from. In the end, if you don’t know who you are how can you lead other people?

Here’s a story that if we tried to make up we wouldn’t be able to. In an east end neighborhood in Montreal, some blue collar workers were given the task of painting white lines on the street for the cyclists. Now you have to admit this is not a very difficult job considering they have special equipment. They are not painting the lines with a paintbrush on their hands and knees. Well, here in la belle province, it became a a job for rocket scientists.

Why you ask? Because the streets were not cleaned from the winter dirt and were full of cups, dead squirrels and birds, bags, food, stones you name it. Now as the painter of white lines what would you have done? Most likely made a phone call to the powers that be and tell them that the streets need to be cleaned before the lines are painted. What did these painters do? They painted right over the dead squirrels, cups, stones and bags. Ergo the lines are, to put it mildly, not straight.

In comes Mayor Coderre riding to the rescue. He is going to send in the top of the line painters, retrain 90 blue-collar employees on how to paint straight lines and here’s the best part, call in experts on how to remove the current crooked lines in order to repaint straight ones. We kid you not, this is where your tax dollars are being spent.

Here’s a headline for the mayor: try turpentine to get rid of the paint. Works all the time. Then clean the streets and call in the most genius of the line painters to get the job done a second time. Hey, are the crooked line painters getting paid? If this sounds like a three stooges movie, it is… only you’re paying for it.

In order to stop Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and John Kaisch devised a plot. In states where one of them has no chance to win the primary, that person will bow out and let it be a two man race rather than splitting the votes between themselves and Trump.

Well, their plan worked for about ten minutes. Both challengers have vowed to win in an open convention in Cleveland, and they remain irreconcilable on key matters of policy. As well, their agreement dealt only with three states, leaving an open question as to how directly they might compete with each other everywhere else.

The big prize tonight is Indiana which Kaisch gave to Cruz. That is until he decided to keep his visit Indianapolis on Tuesday for a fund-raising event plus attend meetings scheduled with a series of Indiana Republicans, including Gov. Mike Pence.

People like to back a winner and this pact is highlighting in flashing neon lights, without Trump doing a thing, that he is the winner Cruz and Kaisch are trying to stop.

In the happy-you-are-not-him category, Anthony Weiner is back, albeit in a different role.

In 2013, former U.S. Congressman Anthony Weiner decided to run for mayor in an attempt to rehabilitate his image after a sexting scandal drove him from office. Remember he was texting the southern parts of his body to women other than his wife (Huma Abedin) who happens to be attached at the hip to Hillary?

Instead he got caught up in yet another sexting scandal but this time a documentary film crew was there to record the whole thing which they did.  This week the documentary will be shown of the whole business.  Don’t you think that when the brains were given out his mother thought they said trains and we don’t want any?

And one more minute.  Ya think any of the stuff hitting the fan will get stuck to Hillary?

We haven’t needed the barf bag in a long time. Blanche, time to dig out da big one. Hillary said that if elected president half her cabinet would be women. What a stupid thing to say. Her cabinet should be made up of the best people she can find, men or women. Pandering to feminists is really groveling.

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