Monthly Archives: August 2016

Weiner…Need We Say More

What a dick. Blanche, did you say that? Seriously, it’s dizguzting. Well, maybe not as dizguzting as Weiner.

We are referring to Anthony Weiner of weiner fame. He’s the dude who was sexting his southern parts to various and sundry women. The first time he got caught apologized profusely. His wife stood by her man. The second time he got caught he was running for mayor of New York. Nix that one. Again Huma stood by her man. What was she thinking? Most likely about Hillary, to whom she is attached at the hip.

This time it’s three strikes and he’s outta here, phone and all.

We won’t regale you with the gory details. We do have a suggestion for Weiner. Maybe he should have a name change to say, Anthony Toenail. That way, if he can’t stop texting his southern parts, at least they will be something people can look at. Ich.

We don’t often comment on the passing of a movie star, but somehow Gene Wilder was different. He was not only a genius but one of the funniest comedians and playwrights of his century.

Who could forget his classics: The Producers,Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and Stir Crazy. After his wife Gilda Radner died of ovarian cancer he started Gilda’s Club for the awareness of ovarian cancer.

When we read that he had died of complications of Alzheimer’s we were doubly saddened. What happens to people…

Not that it’s going to make any difference but The FBI is expected to release documents soon related to its investigation into Hillary Clinton and her use of a private email server. If Trump were half normal, this is all he would be talking about. Alas, he can’t see past his phone and even then past his twitter feed.

If you think this is some kind of conspiracy it doesn’t look like it. Seems that many media people are using the Freedom of Information Act to obtain the documents.

So far so good. Justin and Sophie have been in China for two days and they both have been able to keep all their clothes on and not post one selfie. Fear not however, we might yet to see them do something, shall we say, not that dignified. Blanche checked out the itinerary. Plenty of places to garner attention: A high school with former NBA basketball player Yao Ming; a boat cruise to highlight tourism opportunities in Canada; the Great Wall of China. Stay tuned.

In case you were losing sleep over where Bernie Sanders had disappeared to, you can now rest easy. He’s about to start campaigning again next week. This time of course for Hillary.

Did you hear about the genius by the name of Colin Kaepernick? On this one we’re with Trump. He’s the dude who would not stand nor sing the American National Anthem. Then he burned his football sweater. Trump said, and rightly so, “find a country that works better for him.” Exactly.

If he’s so unhappy, find another place to live. Who is this guy? He’s 28, a mixed racial man who was adopted by a white family. Obviously he has some, shall we say, ‘issues’. Where his black bro the president who obviously did nothing to make his life happy.

We’ll talk…

Whoever Thinks That Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness Can Deposit their Money in the Clinton Foundation

While we are certainly not great fans of Gaetan Barrette, Quebec’s health minister, we are perplexed as to why he is backtracking at breakneck speed due to a comment he made yesterday. “Never did I make a link between this regrettable incident and a political party. I sincerely apologize.” What’s that all about?

In case you missed it he said that things get stirred up when the rhetoric by politicians gets heated. He was referring to the Bain shootings the night of the PQ victory four years ago when he murdered one man and severely injured another.

There is no doubt that Bain is a nutcase and needs to be put away for a very long time. There is also no doubt that the PQ’s charter of values riled up many people. Remember muslim women getting attacked on buses? Barrette’s remarks were true. When politicians ratchet up the nastiness, which Marois, Drainville and Lisee did, they bring out the worst in society, including people like Bain. So why is Barrette grovelling?

We hope no one is surprised by the $5 million repair job taking place at the brand, spanking new Children’s hospital. Seems the ventilation system needs some help. Here’s the best line about this: Work is being done at more than one place in the new hospital but the Children’s can’t comment because – …”These issues are before the courts.”

SNC Lavalin was responsible for building the hospital. So did they use inferior products? Did they not know what they were doing? Did they hire stupid people? Were the engineers unable to read the plans? This place sounds like the big Owe all over again. Blanche, we can’t wait until the Turcot interchange is finished and they tell us oops, someone made a mistake. It already happened with the never-ending building of the Champlain bridge. Welcome to la belle province’s construction industry.

They say that politics makes strange bedfellows. Well, here’s a  good one. Nigel Farage is campaigning with Donald Trump. In case you don’t know who Farage is, we’ll remind you: He’s the former leader of the UK Independent Party credited for Brexit. So why is Farage stumping with Trump?

Because Trump views himself as the underdog, which Farage was, going against the establishment as did Brexit. All the polls were wrong in Great Britain and, as everyone now knows, the leave side won. And Farage? He walked away from the whole thing. In this case if Trump wins he can’t exactly walk away. Blanche, ya think he knows that?

Starting January 1, 2018 those living in Montreal will no longer be able to get a plastic bag when shopping for anything – groceries, clothing, books etc.
Stores will be fined $4,000 if they are caught giving out the bags. This is great news for the bureaucracy here, which is Quebec’s largest employer.

Picture the scene: You go shopping to one of your favourite, small clothing stores. Zut alors they put your sweater into a plastic bag. While walking to your car there’s a man following you. “Arret la. What’s dat bag dere? Is dat plastic? Where did you get it? It’s against da law la. Come back to da mall wit me a tell me who sold you dat sweater”. See how stupid this is? We will have language police, food police and very shortly plastic bag police. Like it’s going to save the planet, the whales and the trees.

Here’s what Blanche would love to do: Find out if the city of Montreal is actually recycling what they claim to be. We have our serious doubts as they already said they have no way of dealing with glass.

Things are definitely starting to heat up in the US election race. Both sides are  getting dirtier by the second. The truth is, no matter how dirty Trump played previously, he’s in for a whole new level with the Clintons. While both nominees are playing for broke, the Clintons have much more experience in a) getting rid of enemies or people they deem unfavourable (read that however you choose and b) are able to think up the most obscene and untruthful lies about people.

We watched last night as Mook, Clinton’s campaign manager vociferously defended her regarding paying for playing. When this dude claimed that the Clintons single-handedly are taking care of aids research with their foundation, we needed the barf bag. It is documented by the Wall Street Journal and Associated Press amongst other media outlets that to get to Clinton when she was Secretary of State people had to pay into the Clinton Foundation. If you think the money didn’t go into their bank accounts may we suggest some swampland in Florida.

Lest you think we are exaggerating, here ya go: The Washington Post in 2014 reported that in 2010, Clinton pushed Russia to approve a $3.7 billion purchase from Boeing. Two months after the deal was solidified, reported the newspaper, Boeing announced a $900,000 contribution to the Clinton Foundation. Bada bing bada boom.

A final word about Trump. He’s losing miserably with the black voters. Yesterday he came out and said the following, “What the he.. to you have to lose by voting for me?” He’s right.

Obama, the first black president has done zippo, nada, nothing for his black brothers. In fact, they are almost worse off since he took office. He doesn’t give a rats about them and never did. He left them in the dust when he moved into the ‘White’ House – pardon the pun.

Trump is right. Clinton will be an extension of Obama so they really don’t have anything to lose by voting for Trump.

We were in California recently and did our own unscientific poll regarding the US election. The answers we received were pretty well all the same: “I can’t vote for Hillary and I don’t want to vote for Trump.” When we pushed them further the response we got was a shrug. They simply don’t know what to do. Sad commentary, n’est pas?

Good Shabbos
We’ll talk…

We’re In the Money, The Sky Is Sunny…

Elizabeth May, head of the Green party is in a pickle (get it, green party, green pickle). She’s a decent person, albeit a bit too much of a tree-hugger for Blanche and is caught in her party’s decision to support the BDS bs, which she does not. So what is she supposed to do: step down or keep going despite the differences? Her decision is to stay on as party leader for now and see where the chips fall.

Perhaps she’s hoping that saner minds will prevail or that those who support bds will leave. It’s a sad commentary either way that people who seem to care about the whales, trees and ants can be so vociferous in their dislike of Jews. Here’s our suggestion: take the whole bunch of them to Israel and show them what is really going on. It appears that their opinions are based on media commentary, very often slanted against Israel  and pictures, many of which are staged.

So it’s out in the open. The majority of Clinton Foundation donors got special access to Hillary.  More than half the people outside the government who met with Hillary Clinton while she was secretary of state gave money – lots of it – either personally or through companies or groups – to the Clinton Foundation.

85 of 154 special interest groups gave around $156 million. Of that small group, at least 40 donated more than $100,000 each, and 20 gave more than $1 million. Here’s what Hillary and Bill were singing at one of those meetings: We’re in the money, the sky is sunny.

Those in flood-striken Louisiana will be happy to know that his royal potus Barack Obama has ended his vacation and will now go and visit the flood victims. Sweet of him, eh?

There are some people who either just like adventure or have a death wish. Case in point are the 1000 guests and 600 crew who set sail for the most isolated place in the world – the Arctic and Greenland aka the Northwest passage, for a cool $22,000 minimum per person.

The biggest problem with this cruise is that if anything happens to the ship or anyone on board, they are basically toasted as the area is plagued by a lack of adequate nautical charts, virtually no navigation aids, poor communication systems, and a lack of infrastructure. Blanche, ya think some people have too much time on their hands? This is just not safe. End of story. If one is looking for an adventure where it’s a crap shoot whether or not you will return home, this ship is for you.

So which is better – Uber or taxis? From our firsthand account, hands down it is Uber, which came when called within 2 minutes – literally. No fuss, no confusion, the money comes off your credit card, the cars are spotless, the drivers pleasant and courteous and not on their phones. And they arrive within two minutes of calling.

The taxi drivers in this city may fight them, but it is the public who ultimately decide. While the cab drivers may indeed fight the uber expansion, unless they upgrade their take on their industry, it’s over for them.

We’ll talk…

At The End of Each Day Here’s What Trump Should Say: Do I Want To Save the Changes?

Blanche saw the mother-of-all save the whale-the trees-the water and the turtle schemes. First stop eating as we are going into the terlit – right in if you get the drift.

Seems in California they need to save water. Never mind that there are fountains, pools, fake waterfalls, mega sprinkler systems etc. But we digress. So in the terlit there is the ever-present flusher. Wouldn’t be a terlit without a flusher, eh? But this is not just any flusher…it’s a two-pronged button flusher.

The first button has one drop of water painted on it with the words: flush for liquids. Did you stop eating yet? The second flusher has a button with 3 drops of water with the following: flush for solids. Wait, it gets better. No matter which flusher you choose, the terlit automatically flushes twice, erasing the water save. Whoever sat up at night dreaming this up needs to stop driving a Subaru cause neither the Subaru nor this flusher is going to save anything.

Somebody’s not telling the truth. Last week a few athletes in Rio de Janeiro recounted their harrowing experience when they were allegedly stopped at a gas station and held up at gunpoint. It made news all over the world as everyone was salivating from this juicy tidbit that finally made Brazil look like they really could not control the olympics and all the bad dudes there.

Yesterday a few of those involved in this incident were hauled off their flight before take-off and taken to a police station for questioning. Seems that the video cameras were working that night and caught the dudes coming in much later than they said, not in the car they said.

These men are in deep dog doodoo if it turns out they made this whole thing up. Brazil will tar and feather them if they lied and embarrassed the country. Of course the biggest fish of all,  Ryan Lochte left town before anyone else. Ya think he knew what was coming Blanche? Stay tuned.

Here’s something to watch: Bill and Hillary Clinton’s charitable foundation hired a security firm to examine its data systems after seeing indications they might have been hacked. Now that would be some very juicy information adding to the already juicy stuff about the DNC.

Egypt’s state-run television has suspended eight of its female presenters for being overweight, telling them they can return to the air only after they go on a diet. The presenters were given a month to lose weight and told they will not be allowed back on screen until they have an ‘appropriate appearance’.

Can we talk? While there may be outrage among women’s groups, the key words in this story are state-run. In English or simulatenous translation, that means that the government runs the show, pardon the pun, and if they think their announcers are fat – well then, they are fat and have to lose weight. Otherwise they can kiss their jobs goodbye. Welcome to dictatorships.

This one stands alone. As of January 9th, 2016, the number of days the Golfer-In-Chief (#GOLFTUS) has golfed is…270. As there are only 365 days in the year and we’re still in August, it’s pretty obvious that he’s much busier with his golf game than anything else. Wait Blanche. He cleared his schedule to campaign for Hillary in October. Does that mean he won’t play golf? Likely not.

Say it ain’t so Blanche. Life-size statues of Donald Trump, in all his naked glory, have been erected across the country — and they’re far from flattering.

One of the nude effigies was first spotted in Union Square on Thursday morning (and in Los Angeles, Cleveland, Seattle and San Francisco), sparking a slew of tweets poking fun at the microscopic representation of the Republican presidential candidate’s ‘manhood’ and unsightly, cottage-cheese like physique. Pictures don’t like and those effigies are really nasty.

Now who do you think could be responsible for this? Our guess is that we will never find out as whoever is r.e.a.l.l.y responsible is hiding behind layers of people. One thing is for sure: it’s someone with money.

Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s newest campaign manager is no stranger to men disliked by the media. One of her objectives is to get Trump to avoid criticizing people’s looks and mental capacity as in calling comedian Rosie O’Donnell “disgusting” with a “fat pig face” and Arianna Huffington “ugly inside and out. Blanche, that’s what she wants but it seems what those around Trump want and what he wants are two different things. So far, he’s been winning the battle.

Looks like the zika mosquito can fly. Who knew? It went from the Wynwood area of Miami to the Miami Beach area. Are they going to shut down all of Florida? Get a good bug spray and if you are planning to have a child in the near future, don’t go there.

Good Shabbos

We’ll talk…

Trump to the World: By the Power Vested In Me I Now Pronounce You Blocked and Deleted. And You can Kiss my royal…

Blanche, you are never going to believe this. Guess who is giving advice to Trump prior to the debates in September? None other than Roger Aisles, founder of Fox News and, of late, dumped out of his own company due to multiple sexual harassment charges. Can we talk?

Even if Aisles is a genius, which he must be if he started the Fox News Network, the visual of this stinks. For a smart guy, Trump is not so smart. Why must he announce who is helping him? Keep it low and quiet and just get the job done. On the other hand, it is a fact that Aisles helped Reagen with his second debate after he was a disaster the first time around.

The difference here is that both Trump and Aisles have more baggage than the Orient express and overweight baggage costs big time.

While it is no secret that Blanche leans towards conservative politics, sometimes those uber-conservative sites write things that diminish their credibility. Case in point: trying to say that Hillary is not well. Give it a rest dudes. She’s 69 years old and campaigning day and night for months. How sick can she be? We’d like to see some of those writers keep up with her schedule for a week or two.

They are claiming she needs the weekend off. And therefore? She needs the weekend off. They also claim she’s twitching and shaking her head. Get a life dudes. We don’t like the way she conducts her life but we also won’t start rumors that are simply unfounded. Move it along.

Here’s something to be concerned about. Those who are supposed to protect the public at terrorist targets like JFK need to either upgrade their skills, get hearing aids, learn what a real gunshot sounds like or find another job.

Last week hordes of people were cheering on Usain Bolt, a Jamaican olympic runner. It appears that clapping sounds like gunshots to many people, including the security dudes and dudettes. An entire terminal was evacuated with people running for their lives. Nothing to see here folks except someone running very fast and winning a gold medal at the Olympics. People better pray nothing really happens if those are the people protecting them.

Yet another travel tip from Blanche. We recently flew and paid  $60 each for the pleasure of extending our legs in front of us rather than sitting like a pretzel for six hours. Nice eh?

Boarding is now done by zone. Those extra leg room seats are at the front of the plane. Guess how they board the plane? From the back to the front. Ergo we were going to be the last ones boarding.

Couple this with frequent announcements that there may not be room for carry-on luggage and you get the drift. If we’re boarding last dawling, there ain’t gonna be room for our little bags. Now here’s the tip:

The nice flight attendant announced that anyone needing extra time to board should come forward first. Guess who needed extra time? Exactly. She looked at us, we smiled politely, said we needed extra time and bob’s your uncle, we were the first on the plane with plenty of room for our bags. Don’t you think that if you pay extra for the seat you should be able to board first? Blanche, that would be logical. The moral of the story is listen to the announcements.

While we like William and Kate and they have done much to upgrade the image of the royal family, sometimes we do need the barf bag for what they say. In case you didn’t know, Justin and Sophie invited the royals to visit Canada in the fall – with their children. Makes sense. They are both young parents with young children. Here’s the barf bag part: A source in the royal entourage said, “They really can’t bear the idea of leaving Charlotte and George at home.” Can we talk?

When they have to leave them home they do without blinking an eye. Spare us the dramatics and just say that on this trip because both families have young children it makes sense to bring them. Why can’t people just be honest?

Looks like Trump is switching many of his posts from Twitter to Facebook. That way he gets to write more than 140 characters. More room to hang himself.

We’ll talk…

Weiner’s Back. Stop Smirking.

Blanche had originally started to write this about the World Social Forum thinking that our mayor, Coderre had come out against it. Alas, we were wrong. He said he didn’t like it, but stopped short of condemning it outright and left Montreal’s logo on the site and all propaganda.

In case your brain is on vacation (seriously Blanche, do you have to be so graphic) you will know that there is a ‘conference’ taking place in Montreal called WSF. Calling a spade a spade, the WSF is simply another rabid anti-semitic group. We checked out their website to see who exactly is supporting them. None of those listed surprised us.

McGill University, a hotbed of the BDS movement, the government of Quebec, the city of Montreal, the CSN aka the unions, UQAM – no brainer and BROT, some German social do-gooders.

Lest you think we are kidding, here are a few of the ‘sessions’ taking place: smearing Israel as an apartheid state and as well as hosting events to mobilize more “Gaza Boat” spectacles — the project pioneered by a collaboration between the Hamas-affiliated Foundation for Human Rights and Humanitarian Relief.

What brought the conference to the attention of the federal government who dropped their sponsorship and logo was the cartoon featuring a hook-nosed Jew vomiting a caricature of Uncle Sam, who’s disgorging a long-bearded jihadist. Blanche, why can’t people just say they don’t like Jews and Israel and get on with it. Stop hiding behind fancy names and being cowards.

We’re not ‘Trumped’ out yet but he really doesn’t give people time to breathe. Yesterday some dude decided to deliver a message to Donald Trump by trying to scale Trump Towers on 5th Avenue. Life as he knew it is over. He’s also not the smartest chip in the box as Trump was in Florida.

As for Trump, his party continues to be apoplectic. Many highly regarded Republican operatives have stayed away from the campaign, wary of being blackballed for future gigs.

Get this one Blanche: “If someone applied for a job and brought in a résumé that had Trump 2016 on it,” said a GOP fundraising consultant, “I wouldn’t give them an interview.” Oy.

So what about Hillary? Basically if she stays out of the news, keeps her nose to the ground and no other interesting emails come out about her, she’s a shoe-in to win, possibly by a monumental landslide. The truth is, even if there is more damning evidence, Trump is so out there, so inflammatory, that nothing she has done or will do can compete with his verbosity.

Uh oh. Looks like Anthony Weiner (Blanche, can you stop smirking and finally get over that name Weiner) is back to his old sexting tricks. What we can’t figure out is why his wife stays with him. Huma Abedin, b.e.s.t. friend of Hillary Clinton is certainly making enough money to support herself. Stay tuned for this to develop.

The first casualty of the polluted water in Rio has emerged. She’s a Belgian woman who trained in Rio (in July) for a regatta and caught a bacteria that causes dysentery. That’s a nice name for severe diarrhea which can last for months. Ich. Tested waters still show high levels of viruses as well as bacteria from human sewage. Blanche, that’s really disgusting.

Here’s something that you may want to file somewhere. Your phone remembers every text you ever wrote. Yup. Even if you delete it, it’s still out there. Even if it falls into the terlit, it’s still there.

Firstly, it’s on the phone of the person you sent it to. Secondly, people who know how, know how if you get the drift. So here’s a piece of advice. If you’re just texting la-di-da, keep those fingers moving. But if you are texting sensitive stuff, dudes – pick up a landline or buy a typewriter and mail a letter.

If you have kahoonas, we have three vacation spots for you. Egypt, Turkey and Paris. Never mind that nobody’s going to those places – they’re cheap, which seems, on the surface to be a good reason to go.

All of these destinations have beefed up security, and will be significantly discounting airfares, hotel room rates, and tours. Sounds not bad, eh Blanche?

Of course you also have to travel with common sense. That means no crowds, stay away from places where tourists frequent, don’t eat in sidewalk cafes, watch your back every time you leave your hotel. Hey, that doesn’t sound like a good vacation. On second thought even though you will have most likely the cheapest vacation of your life, well, let’s just say it’s not worth your life.

Good Shabbos
We’ll talk…

Trump to His Handlers: Whoever Is In Charge of Making Sure I Don’t Say Stupid Things: You’re Fired!

It appears that the US election is bringing every nutball known to man out of the closet. And there are many nutballs. The uber right-wingers are looking at anything to pin on Hillary. Case in point is the scientist who was executed in Iran last week. There are unfounded rumours that he was outed via Hillary’s email because it was not secure.

Then there are those who are dredging up what is termed the Clinton body count dating back to the 1990’s. There is no doubt that a few people close to the Clinton’s died mysteriously. Whether the Clintons were involved, even way, way in the background no one will ever know.

As much as those in North America are watching the insane volley of insults, accusations, letters signed by 50 Republicans not to support Trump, awful commercials and even worse rhetoric, can you imagine Iran, Iraq, Yemen, Afghanistan, Pakistan etc? They are salivating at this circus with new acts everyday.

This election campaign is akin to a ship without a captain or rudder. It’s every man and woman for themselves. Blanche, doesn’t it remind you of the Titanic? A ship destined for disaster.

Mayor Coderre is back. He wins the gold medal for selling people a race to nowhere. Imagine he was able to secure almost $5 million for an e-car race through the streets of Montreal. Problem is he would not tell his people which streets need to be fixed for said race. Just give me da money and I’ll take care of you.

In case you were wondering, e-cars are electric so the race will be silent. Don’t you wonder who comes up with these brainwave ideas? Here’s a tip: put on your thinking cap and figure out the most outrageous idea that costs between $5-10 million. Then go and present it to our mayor. The more idiotic, the more you can be sure he will take a good look at it.

So Blanche, what do you have to say about our Prime Minister getting his picture taken while bare-chested on a beach? You know of course Justin ‘accidentally’ had his picture taken at a wedding on the beach while still in his wetsuit. Or rather half his suit. Are you going to be one of those prudes and show your age? Come on, what’s so bad about showing off your chest?

Here’s the deal…yet again – it is not becoming for a head of state to flaunt his body in this way. It’s ok if you’re say, a postman, garbageman, gardener, life guard etc. But as the Prime Minister of a country? Come on.

Our sympathies if you are on a Delta flight in the next few days. They had a total meltdown of their system yesterday and it’s still not running properly, quite the understatement.

Seems a power failure in the middle of the night caused a catastrophic chain of events in their computer system. Usually such companies have servers in other cities that take over when one goes down. In this case, nothing worked and everything went down at the same time leaving tens of thousands of people stranded all over the world. Seeing the USA in your Chevrolet is a good thing.

Back for a moment to Hillary. Blanche has been reading how much people despise her. We found the mother-of-all-lines:

“If she was moving her lips she was probably lying about it’ – pick your ‘it’. We’re happy we live in Canada and only had to choose between a selfie-taking, immature young adult and hard-core politician.

Wait, we found one more juicy one: She feels like she’s above the law and above us peasants. Ouch.

No Shortage of Geniuses in the World, eh Blanche?

Obama is rejoicing tonight. He will hit his target of admitting 10,000 Syrian refugees into the United States before the end of September. Don’t tell anyone that most of the terrorists in Europe who carried out many heinous attacks came from or were trained in Syria. Also don’t tell anyone that Germany lost track of many of those they let in.

The $400 million dollars paid to Iran and sent via palettes with all kinds of currency is ‘old news’ according to Hillary. She’s so sweet.
It’s old news to her because she knew all about it months ago. It’s news to the other 299 million people who live in the United States. And this is exactly why people despise her. She and Obama live under one set of rules and the rest of plebs are just that – plebs on a need to know basis and according to that dynamic duo,  they most often don’t need to know.

What a coinkedink that on the exact day that four hostages were freed from an Iranian jail the money arrived by cargo plane. And they want everyone to believe that it was not ransom. Blanche, you know what Iran said? If America had not sent the money they would never have released those dudes.

The Trump fiasco is getting more juicy by the minute. Some people in his party staunchly say he can change, stick to the script and win. They must be smoking the same stuff he is.

Here’s a headline: Trump will change for a few days, after an intervention that is about to take place. Let’s say he even manages to get his act together for two weeks. And then…someone is going to attack him personally, oh, say maybe Hillary – and he’s going to lose it again. He’ll start tweeting, holding inane news conferences and say things that will cause his poll numbers to plummet.

While all of this intrigue is wonderful for the news stations, it’s actually real life and a tad on the dangerous side. Trump has never in his life had to answer to anyone – let alone 300 million people and he’s not about to start now. If we were in that intervention room we would lock the door and not let anyone leave until they got him to quit.

Lest you think we have turned on the person who seemed to be the one left standing to go up against the Clinton machinations, here’s one reason we have moved away from him: Anytime the words “Donald Trump” and “nuclear weapons” appear in the same sentence, a mushroom cloud, pardon the pun,  of anxiety rises over the world of politics and national security.

Yesterday was no exception, after Joe Scarborough, host of Morning Joe, said on his show that Trump had repeatedly asked an unnamed foreign policy expert why the U.S. can’t use its nuclear weapons. This ain’t no joke dawlin.

While many readers of Blanche may be too young to remember the Cuban missile crisis, we baby-boomers who lived through it vividly recall the screaming air-raid sirens and teachers telling us, idiotically, to hide under our desks when the siren sounded. There’s a term for that but we will be polite and just say it’s kissing a part of your body goodbye. Anyone who lived through those few months no doubt still feels that cold fear.

To listen to Trump speak about nuclear weapons in such a cavalier manner is, if for no other reason, why he must go.

Blanche, here’s a nice travel tip. If you’re planning to travel anywhere this summer (less and less places to go, eh?), read this next piece.

If you are making more than one stop while flying, let’s say going from city A to city B then back to city A and you click the button on the airline’s website for multi-city flights, don’t count on the website quoting you the cheapest available fare for each leg. They are going to hose you big time.

The airlines have now programmed the reservation systems to give you a much higher fare for the whole itinerary. You will save about one third of the cost of your flights if you book each ticket separately. A bit of a pain but if you’re sitting in your kitchen in your pyjamas, make yourself a nice cup of tea, grab a few cookies and while you’re sipping and dipping you will save a few hundred dollars.

Remember Zaidy Bernie? He’s off the radar. Nothing, nada, not a drop of news about him. Disappeared into the night. Let’s see if he actually campaigns for Hillary.

There’s a dude here in la belle province who needs a lobotomy. He’s severely allergic to fish. Severely. He went into a restaurant and ordered meat tartar. Blanche, that’s raw meat. Feh.

For whatever reason – stupidity, language barrier, inattentiveness, the waiter brought him fish tartar. We don’t know about you, but when we look down at a plate, we can definitely tell the difference between meat and fish. Well, this genius took a huge mouthful of said raw fish and got deathly ill. To add insult to injury, he left his epipen in his car. He pressed charges against the waiter.

Can we talk? The guy is a moron. If someone is so allergic to a specific food there are two choices to make – stay home or don’t go to a restaurant that serves any kind of fish. Brainwave.

Good Shabbos
We’ll talk…

Why Do We Spend So Much Time Looking For Intelligent Life on Another Planet? Wouldn’t You Be Happy To Find Intelligent Life On Earth First?

The American election campaign is quickly deteriorating into a bad reality show thanks to Donald Trump. Of all the analysis we heard on him, we thought the following most logical.

The primaries were indeed a reality show which Trump knew very well how to control and win, which he did. The general campaign is a completely different kettle of fish, one which Trump seems unable to figure out. It is calculated ground game, slower moving and much more detailed. As a businessman, he has never had to ask anyone what to do. He made his own decisions when he decided the time was right. It appears that nothing’s going to change now that he’s running for president.

Now for Khizr Kahn the gentleman who spoke at the DNC about his son who died a hero in Iraq.  Don’t you wonder why this particular couple was chosen to speak at the Democratic convention? Blanche, please don’t tell me you believe that his name was picked out of a hat.

Did you notice how articulate he is? In fact, Mr. Kahn is a lawyer specializing in muslim immigration and is an advocate for Sharia law, a subject which he has written extensively about.  He keeps saying that all he wants to do is go back and live his life quietly, yet takes every opportunity to go on any show that will have him. Now get this:

He has deleted his law firm’s website. In that site, Khan revealed that he spent nearly a decade working for the mega-D.C. law firm Hogan & Hartson—now Hogan Lovells LLP—which connects him directly with the government of Saudi Arabia and the Clintons themselves.

Saudi Arabia, which has retained the firm that Khan worked at for years, has donated between $10 million and $25 million to the Clinton Foundation. Who knew? Hillary Clinton, despite the repeated urging of Trump, has refused to return the Clinton Cash money to the Saudis. What’s more, Hogan Lovells also did Hillary Clinton’s taxes—and helped acquire the patents for parts of the technology she used in crafting her illicit home-brew email server that the FBI director called “extremely careless” in handling classified information.

So now do you still think Hillary is honest? She and her missives are scheming lowlifes. Why Trump’s people couldn’t find out this information is a mystery. But we digress. Keep reading.

Obama came out in a news conference today and publicly told the Republicans to DUMP TRUMP. Yup, you read that correctly. The president of the United States of America is getting very involved in the election, up to his little beady eyeballs to be exact.He went so far as to tell the Republicans to un-endorse him.

Something smells here. What does he care if Trump runs? It looks like he’s going to lose by a landslide right now. Is it because things are going to come out about Hillary soon which could in fact push Trump higher in the polls? This election campaign is going from a gong-show to a espionage movie. Stay tuned.

Some of Blanche’s best friends are dentists and they will not be happy to read this little ditty. A 2015 review published in the Journal of Clinical Periodontology concluded “the majority of available studies fail to demonstrate that flossing is generally effective in plaque removal”. Uh oh. It gets worse.

In a letter to the Associated Press, the U.S. government acknowledged the effectiveness of flossing had never been researched. The news agency looked at the most recent rigorous research, focusing on 25 studies that generally compared the use of a toothbrush with the combination of toothbrushes and floss. The findings? The evidence for flossing is “weak, very unreliable,” of “very low” quality, and carries “a moderate to large potential for bias.”

We think the jury is still out on this. You can be certain that the flossing companies will be digging up plenty of research to show that flossing is necessary. And your dentist is still going to sing the same tune: floss, floss, floss.

Remember that attempted coup d’etat in Turkey? Well, while we may not be hearing anything more about it, heads and businesses are rolling. Blanche’s husband does business in Turkey, buying textiles. One of the mills he buys from contacted him today saying that the government rolled into their premises, took all their computers and shut them down. It seems that anyone – a.n.y.o.n.e – who in any way shape or form did not support Ergoden, or if he smelled that they didn’t support him, is getting shut down. Dictatorship anyone?

Don’t say we didn’t warn you. If you’re going to Rio de Janiero for the olympics, bring your own water. You read that right Blanche. Leave your clothes at home and pack water.

Nothing is ready for the games, most importantly the disgustingly polluted water which doubles as the venue for the sailing, marathon swimming and windsurfing competitions. One swallow and it’s bathroom time. Oh wait, there are no bathrooms. They were never finished. Seems the $5 billion that was supposed to be spent on solving the sewage problem was spent on the stadiums. These games sound like a disaster waiting to happen.

Bad news for the artistic, eclectic and very interesting tourist area in Miami known as Wynwood. It has been identified as ground zero for the zika virus. The Centre for Disease Control and Prevention have told people to stay away from the entire neighborhood. Zak the Baker, one of the best little bakeries and eateries in Miami is going to suffer big time.

Can anyone tell Blanche what was the point of publishing not one but two nude photos of Melania Trump on the front cover of the New York Post?

We keep asking ourselves that out of the 300 million people in the United States, Clinton and Trump are the only two they could find to run for president, both of whom are intensely disliked? Now ya know. People will dig up the colour of the underwear (interhoisen) you wore when you were in grade 3.

Not that you could care less but we aim to keep you informed: Three top heavy hitters were fired from the Democratic National committee today: CEO Amy Dacey, communications director Luis Miranda and chief financial officer Brad Marshall. Wait till the next volley of emails from Wikileaks.

We’ll talk…