At The End of Each Day Here’s What Trump Should Say: Do I Want To Save the Changes?

Blanche saw the mother-of-all save the whale-the trees-the water and the turtle schemes. First stop eating as we are going into the terlit – right in if you get the drift.

Seems in California they need to save water. Never mind that there are fountains, pools, fake waterfalls, mega sprinkler systems etc. But we digress. So in the terlit there is the ever-present flusher. Wouldn’t be a terlit without a flusher, eh? But this is not just any flusher…it’s a two-pronged button flusher.

The first button has one drop of water painted on it with the words: flush for liquids. Did you stop eating yet? The second flusher has a button with 3 drops of water with the following: flush for solids. Wait, it gets better. No matter which flusher you choose, the terlit automatically flushes twice, erasing the water save. Whoever sat up at night dreaming this up needs to stop driving a Subaru cause neither the Subaru nor this flusher is going to save anything.

Somebody’s not telling the truth. Last week a few athletes in Rio de Janeiro recounted their harrowing experience when they were allegedly stopped at a gas station and held up at gunpoint. It made news all over the world as everyone was salivating from this juicy tidbit that finally made Brazil look like they really could not control the olympics and all the bad dudes there.

Yesterday a few of those involved in this incident were hauled off their flight before take-off and taken to a police station for questioning. Seems that the video cameras were working that night and caught the dudes coming in much later than they said, not in the car they said.

These men are in deep dog doodoo if it turns out they made this whole thing up. Brazil will tar and feather them if they lied and embarrassed the country. Of course the biggest fish of all,  Ryan Lochte left town before anyone else. Ya think he knew what was coming Blanche? Stay tuned.

Here’s something to watch: Bill and Hillary Clinton’s charitable foundation hired a security firm to examine its data systems after seeing indications they might have been hacked. Now that would be some very juicy information adding to the already juicy stuff about the DNC.

Egypt’s state-run television has suspended eight of its female presenters for being overweight, telling them they can return to the air only after they go on a diet. The presenters were given a month to lose weight and told they will not be allowed back on screen until they have an ‘appropriate appearance’.

Can we talk? While there may be outrage among women’s groups, the key words in this story are state-run. In English or simulatenous translation, that means that the government runs the show, pardon the pun, and if they think their announcers are fat – well then, they are fat and have to lose weight. Otherwise they can kiss their jobs goodbye. Welcome to dictatorships.

This one stands alone. As of January 9th, 2016, the number of days the Golfer-In-Chief (#GOLFTUS) has golfed is…270. As there are only 365 days in the year and we’re still in August, it’s pretty obvious that he’s much busier with his golf game than anything else. Wait Blanche. He cleared his schedule to campaign for Hillary in October. Does that mean he won’t play golf? Likely not.

Say it ain’t so Blanche. Life-size statues of Donald Trump, in all his naked glory, have been erected across the country — and they’re far from flattering.

One of the nude effigies was first spotted in Union Square on Thursday morning (and in Los Angeles, Cleveland, Seattle and San Francisco), sparking a slew of tweets poking fun at the microscopic representation of the Republican presidential candidate’s ‘manhood’ and unsightly, cottage-cheese like physique. Pictures don’t like and those effigies are really nasty.

Now who do you think could be responsible for this? Our guess is that we will never find out as whoever is r.e.a.l.l.y responsible is hiding behind layers of people. One thing is for sure: it’s someone with money.

Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s newest campaign manager is no stranger to men disliked by the media. One of her objectives is to get Trump to avoid criticizing people’s looks and mental capacity as in calling comedian Rosie O’Donnell “disgusting” with a “fat pig face” and Arianna Huffington “ugly inside and out. Blanche, that’s what she wants but it seems what those around Trump want and what he wants are two different things. So far, he’s been winning the battle.

Looks like the zika mosquito can fly. Who knew? It went from the Wynwood area of Miami to the Miami Beach area. Are they going to shut down all of Florida? Get a good bug spray and if you are planning to have a child in the near future, don’t go there.

Good Shabbos

We’ll talk…

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