Monthly Archives: December 2016

The Obama-Kerry Farewell Tour

Bibi Netanyahu said it best: “The entire Middle East is in flames, entire countries are collapsing, terrorism is rampant and for an entire hour the secretary of state attacks the only democracy in the Middle East.” To quote Archie Bunker…our sediments exactly.

Impotent, ineffective, weak and unproductive. Pick your adjective to describe Obama and Kerry’s foreign policies. How safe it is to go after the one country that he knows won’t do anything to them except talk. When people do something like this it is usually to deflect from the real issues. Kerry, Obama et al fit the bill exactly. Like the settlements in Israel are the only obstacle to peace? Come on. Get a life.

Trump was wise to tweet before Kerry spoke telling Israel to hang in there – January 20 is not far away. Blanche, ya think it’s too far away for Obama? Yes because he will have to endure Trump’s in-your-face tweets and speeches for three more weeks. Let’s just say if Obama could change the date of the inauguration he would, just like he would have liked to be able to run for a third term.

If you are planning to go to Times Square for New Years Eve the view may be somewhat obscured. A fleet of 65 garbage collection and sand trucks will line the perimeter, meant to stop would-be assailants from plowing trucks into the crowd of one million people.

Along with the 100 patrol cars which will also be used as blocker vehicles, there will be 7,000 officers, bomb-sniffing dogs and heavily armed counterterrorism units. Now don’t you feel safe? Blanche, can you imagine what the world has come to? Oich in vey.

Blanche, don’t you find it odd that for eight years Obama could barely make a decision to do anything but in the final three weeks of his presidency he’s suddenly perking up?

Today he ordered the expulsion of 35 Russian diplomats and sanctioned Russian intelligence officials who Washington believes were involved in hacking U.S. political groups in the 2016 presidential election. They have 72 hours to leave the country. Can we talk?

Whoever hacked into the DNC and other places made no difference to the outcome of the election. The problem was the candidate. Cyber spying happens all the time. It’s just that this time it was so in-your-face that we are guessing if Obama did nothing he would look like a total woose. Plus of course, because Hillary did the obscene thing and lost the election, his legacy is now at risk.

Obama is intending to box-in Trump regarding the Russians as it seems he is not very happy with the Trump/Putin bromance. Trump will have to decide in a very few weeks whether or not to lift the sanctions and bring the Russian dudes back. If he does that it will look like he doesn’t believe the Russians were the hackers. Blanche, ya think Trump has his hands full? Doesn’t it look like Obama is trying to bury him in issues before he even puts a toe in the White House? Yet another deflection tactic.

What a sad story with Debbie Reynolds and her daughter Carrie Fisher dying within a day of each other. May they both rest in peace and may their families find some solace in the fact that a mother is together with her beloved daughter.

Did you know that Amazon never releases its sales figures? Interesting eh? Instead they give you little teasers like they sold enough $4,000 televisions that they could reach the peak of Mount Everest nine times. Or they sold enough KitchenAid Mixers this holiday to make nearly 7.5 million cookies at once and a watch was sold ever 1.5 seconds this season. Jeff Bezos is one very, very rich dude.

Due to the brawls in malls all over America on boxing day, some centres have taken steps to counter this insane social media phenomenon. Unaccompanied minors will not be allowed into malls. Blanche we really like this edict.

Although innocent teens will get caught up in the net, those responsible have now found themselves accountable for their actions. You want to act like an immature spoiled brat? While you may not get caught,know that you will be treated like a three-year old child, unable to go shopping without your parents holding your hand.

Good Shabbos
Happy Chanukah
Happy New Year

we’ll talk…

Did Houdini Make Couillard Reappear?

It appears that our premier, Philippe Couillard has come out of hibernation. Seriously, has anyone heard from the dude in the last year?

Sorry to be debbie-downer, but the only reason he’s come out of hiding is because he realized that there’s an election in a couple of years and his poll numbers are starting to drop like a veritable stone. He feels there has been a ‘loss of contact with the anglophone community’. Ya think?

Here’s a memo that someone should drop onto his breakfast table: lose the health minister Barrett. He’s a dictator. You know Blanche, you can sell anything to anyone – it’s all in the packaging. Barrett has obviously never been to packaging school. It’s bad enough that his edicts are imbecilic (don’t you wonder if they are born in Couillard’s office?), but his delivery of them is beyond nasty. Stay tuned. Could be Couillard is coming back to life and this was not a cameo appearance.

Obama took the gloves off, stopped stuttering when talks and gave the middle finger to Netanyahu – all at the same time. It appears he’s just getting revved up as he also started up with Trump today on twitter. Now that’s a silly thing to do as Trump is the master of tweets.

After sticking it to Israel at the UN, Obama said in an interview yesterday that had he been able to run for a third term he most likely would have won. There is no doubt that his  comment was a missile directed with a laser beam at Hillary and her missives.  Can we talk?

Did we not say he would love to be president forever and that Michelle is not happy leaving the White House as per her whining interview last week?  You know where she said she lost all hope.

Buddy, you didn’t run but you did give Hillary big bear hugs on stage more than once and said that she’s the best candidate for president since sliced bread. Obviously he didn’t mean a word of what he said. At least he was civil to her, which he wasn’t to Netanyahu. And his staying in Washington for the next couple of years? He says because his girls are in school there. His girls are in university and they can do without him. Drop the dog doodoo and say what you mean – you think your pawtee can’t live without you. Can you say arrogant?

Yesterday we watched a video which came out of the muslim nation of Bahrain. It depicted a  group of observant, peyos, tzitzis-flying Jews dancing together with some arab sheiks celebrating Chanukah. Now guess who was ticked off? Hamas.

The best thing to do here is quote directly: “Surprisingly,” they wrote in a statement, “a group of dignitaries and merchants in the State of Bahrain hosted a racist and extremist delegation of Zionists and they openly dance with Jews in a shameful scene.” No comment except if anyone, like Jimmy Carter or Barack Hussein Obama, think Israel can make peace with these dudes, they are dead wrong.

No shortage of news because there’s no shortage of bored, obviously misguided and perhaps parent-less teens and pre-teens.

Using social media they sent out messages to create chaos in malls all across North America. And chaos they did create. Hundreds of them descended on different shopping centres while people were innocently meandering from store to store en famille.

They started fighting with each other, shouting, punching, pushing people down etc. Here’s what we propose: take away their cell phones for an undetermined amount of time, the minimum length being a month. Let’s see what happens to them.

Blanche, have you got any idea what’s going on in Chicago? It’s certainly not a city on our top 100 list to visit. In fact, after this past weekend it dropped off the chart. At least twenty-seven people were shot, seven fatally, in a 48-hour period in Chicago over the past holiday weekend.

Don’t you wonder why Rahm Emanuel can’t get a handle on his city? Perhaps he should go back to be Obama’s chief of staff. Oh wait a minute, Obama’s leaving. Well maybe he should call Rudy Guilani. He’s not doing anything these days and seems to have gotten a hold of New York while he was mayor.

We won’t elaborate on this next piece, but we totally agree with Trump: What exactly has the United Nations done for the world in the last twenty or so years? The United States props it up and he seems to be mumbling, as he did during his campaign, that the party’s over once he becomes president. Not a minute to soon.

While the world is mourning, very publicly, the passing of Carrie Fisher, we would like to remind people that others pass away as well, with little or no fanfare. We have such a friend, the same age as Fisher, who died a few hours before she did. Fisher’s passing is very sad as she left a mother and child behind. My friend’s passing is equally heart-wrenching as she left four children now motherless and fatherless.

And while we’re at it, can someone please explain why people say that someone ‘passed’. Passed what? Wind? Passed by someone? People don’t pass. They either die or pass away.

We’ll talk…

Dan and His Husband Matthew Take on Ivanka and Her Children.

Dan Goldstein and his husband Matthew Lasner were traveling on the same JetBlue flight as Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner and their three children. Seems the happy couple (Dan and Matthew) were with their child when Dan (the wife) lost it completely, screaming at Ivanka that her father is ruining the country and why isn’t she flying on a private plane. Seriously? Blanche, maybe they aren’t so happy? Whadda ya think?

They are part of the group in the US who cannot get past their temper tantrums due to Hillary’s losing the election. Get effing over it.

Hillary lost because she was so entitled to the presidency that she didn’t need to campaign that much, lumped Trump supporters into one big basket of deplorables, felt that she was above the law by putting her server into her house instead of using the government server which everyone else does and took no advice from anyone regarding the ‘little peeps’ with whom she was not connecting.

Here’s our suggestion: Free tranquilizers for Hillary supporters.

Blanche, it seems like we’re not the only ones who like to talk about bathrooms, oops we mean the loo. Yesterday, North Carolina lawmakers got together to talk about where people can and can’t use the loo.

Ever hear of the HB2 act? Don’t worry, most of the rest of the world didn’t either except in North Carolina. It’s a ‘bathroom bill’. In the grand scheme of things, this is one of those idiotic things that Obama decided to focus on. Look where it got him and his old BFF Hillary.

The HB2 bans transgender people from using public bathrooms that don’t match the sex on their birth certificates. Seems on Wednesday North Carolina Wednesday failed to reach a deal to repeal this divisive and very costly law. It will be part of Obama’s legacy.

Angela Merkel blew it. The suspect who drove that huge rig directly into a market crowded with people was let in with the other million or so ‘refugees’ last year. Turns out he was known to have connections with radical Islamist groups and was already on authorities’ radar. Also, after he came by boat to Italy with his three friends, he was convicted in absentia by a Tunisian court for stealing a car, and sentenced to five years in prison. This is the kind of person who was let in as a ‘refugee’. Honestly Blanche, bleeding heart liberals have to adopt a turtle so they can feel like they are saving something. But we digress.

Germany has other problems. They have virtually no cameras in their cities. London, New York, Paris and many other cities have cameras everywhere. But the Germans are so touchy, still, about the Holocaust, that they don’t want people think they are being spied upon.

Get this one Blanche – the irony of all ironies: In September Merkel tried to push through a plan that would allow refugees to be trained and hired as truck drivers. She encouraged companies to hire refugees – even if they hadn’t yet been granted asylum – as drivers and also wanted to make it cheaper for migrants to trade in their foreign driver’s license for a German one. OMG.

May we suggest that Berlin, Paris, Brussels and London stay off your vacation destinations until they get their acts together? That won’t happen anytime soon as there are no borders in Europe, they have thousands of home-grown angry young muslims just waiting to pounce and they are still not sharing information properly.

Kellyanne Conway certainly did not get the accolades she deserved. Talk about breaking the glass ceiling. In case you have forgotten, she is the first woman to be the campaign manager of a presidential candidate who won. Dats quite something.

The media is so busy crying about Hillary not breaking her glass ceiling that they seem to have overlooked Conway. Fear not Blanche. She chews nails and spits battleships. That means she’s one tough cookie and today was appointed counsellor to President-elect Trump. So what are her duties?

She will be part of the senior leadership team in the West Wing, with main responsibilities including messaging and executing the administration’s legislative priorities. One thing we can say with certainty: She can hold her own with any and all media people. And, she’s very, very VERY smart.

Now for the guy she got elected. One thing ya gotta say about him – he has cahoonas and today, yet again, he proved it.

Today there was supposed to be a UN Security Council resolution condemning settlement activity in Israel. Egypt delayed a potential showdown vote at the Security Council on the resolution after pressure from the Israelis. That put off a potential standoff between the US and Israel and prompted what some analysts called unprecedented interference from the US President-elect.

An Israeli official “implored the White House not to go ahead and told them that if they did, we would have no choice but to reach out to President-elect Trump.” Everyone certainly knows how Obama feels about both Netanyahu and Israel. So…at the behest of Israel, Trump called Egyptian President Abdel Fattah Al-Sisi to discuss the UN Security Council vote. Ya think it ruined Obama’s golf game in Hawaii? Wait, it got even better.

“As the United States has long maintained, peace between the Israelis and the Palestinians will only come through direct negotiations between the parties, and not through the imposition of terms by the United Nations,” Trump said. “This puts Israel in a very poor negotiating position and is extremely unfair to all Israelis.” We can’t wait until January 20.

Good Shabbos
Happy Chanukah

we’ll talk…

Can Someone Please Send a Memo To Michelle to Stop Whining?

Had Hillary Clinton come out and told her supporters  that Trump won the election fair and square, she would have avoided further embarrassment. We are guessing that she’s still walking in the woods near her house, although now that winter has set in it must be a tad on the cold side, eh Blanche?

Over the past couple of weeks the media was harping on the fact that the electoral college was meeting to formally elect Trump. People thought for sure some Republicans would not vote for him, dropping his number from 307 (270 needed) to who knows what. So guess what happened? Hillary lost more people than he did. One voted for Sanders, one for John Kasich, four in Washington state voting for Colin Powell and, ready for this one Blanche: one for a bird called the Faith Spotted Eagle. Oy. Just more salt into the wound.

Chilling is what can only describe the error that an air traffic controller gave to a jumbo jet en route from LAX to Taipei. Seems there was a huge rainstorm and the controller was based in San Diego. The instructions were to turn left instead of right sending the airliner right into the path of an oncoming Air Canada plane and directly in the path of huge mountains.

The controller realized what she had done and had to tell the pilot more than once to change direction. People living in the area never get planes over their homes due to the mountains nearby and were shocked to hear a jet basically in their bedrooms. Yikes.

Isis has claimed that one of their ‘soldiers’ carried out the attack in Berlin yesterday. Pretty scary as all he needed was a truck. As well, the suspect that was picked up seems to be the wrong person. He’s from Pakistan having come into Germany last year with all the rest of the refugees and he’s waiting for his papers to come through.

This does not bode well for Europe as whoever did this latest terrorist attack is well-armed and can cross borders wherever he so chooses as the EU has no formal borders as we do here in North America. It also seems that Germany was told that these markets were soft targets and not to open them. We are guessing that people want to continue living as they did last year before Merkel let in about a million immigrants. They best take the needle out of their arm. Life as they knew it is over and they have Merkel to thank for that.

Can we talk about Michelle Obama’s hair? What’s up there? One time she has streaks and ‘white’ hair, we are guessing a wig. Another time she has hair that looks like it was severely ironed. Whatever.

She was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey and frankly didn’t stop whining. She lost hope – bring on the barf bag. Then she lost her anonymity. Oh right. But she got to fly all over the world for eight years on a private jumbo jet. Or if Air Force One was not available they sent another equally large private plane for her. We saved the best for last:

She and the president are supporting President-elect Donald Trump’s transition because “it is important for the health of this nation that we support the commander-in-chief.”

She added that the same thing wasn’t done for her husband, but “this is what’s best for the country.” Come on. She sounds, as we said before, that she’d love to have at least another four years in the White House. Darling, it’s over.

Fellow Quebecers take heart. We are not the only ones to endure road construction with nothing to show for it.

Interstate 405, or the 405, as it is known by the 300,000 drivers who endure it morning and night, is the busiest highway in the nation, a 72-mile swerving stretch of pavement that crosses the sprawling metropolis of Los Angeles. Over the past six years at a cost of $1 billion, people endured detours and delays, highway shutdowns, neighborhood streets clogged with cars — in the hopes of relieving one of the most notorious bottlenecks anywhere. Sound familiar?

It’s finally done and the result: no change in the traffic. In fact, it could be even worse. We can only hope that the reconfiguration and redoing of the Turcot interchange will not suffer the same fate.

Ever since election night—when Hillary Clinton tanked and Donald Trump became the next leader of the free world—the most prominent allies and alumni of Bernie Sanders’s presidential campaign have maintained a succinct message for Team Hillary: We. Told. You. So.

Hillary was told to go and campaign among the ‘little people’. She refused. Ich. Who needs ‘them’?

So Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania ultimately cost her the White House. And who was most vociferous in advising her? People from Zaidy Bernie’s camp. Never would she have listened to them…at that time. Now? Never would she listen to them. Ergo she’s home knitting an afghan and Trump is on the way to the White House – with the little people.

We’ll Talk…

It’s the Old One Billion Hack. Where’s Maxwell Smart When you Need Him?

While it may be a huge pain in the derriere, if your email address ends in we suggest you change your password – like yesterday. It gets worse. If you use that same password for other things, oh, say like, ya gotta change those also.

Why must you do this? Because yahoo admitted yesterday that over 1 billion people had been hacked. Who knew so many people used yahoo for their emails? At last count there are 7.4 billion people in the world which means that 1/7th of the population uses yahoo. As this took place a couple of years ago  we’re guessing that it will take a while till the hackers move to your name. But ya never know, eh Blanche?

A two bedroom apartment in Trump Tower on 5th Avenue goes for about $4500. Three bedrooms, $8500. It’s in or was in one of the most desirable locations in the United States. Today it’s a huge pain to live there as Trump – the president elect, lives in the penthouse and the security is what can only be termed insane.

Now there’s a new problem. All Trump buildings, but especially this one have become soft targets for terrorist attacks. Because of that, a pecking order of who can get near the building has developed. If you’re going to Gucci or Tiffany, in ya go. If not, cross the street and don’t come back.

This security business isn’t going away anytime soon as Melania is going to be living there until the end of the school year with Barron and Trump said he would be back and forth from Washington all the time. Us plebs will just have to gawk from across the street.

The PQ is in gehatke tzouris – big trouble. How big Blanche? So big that they are now trying to woo Anglo Quebecers to support them. Seems they have been smoking a bit of weed, eh?

The PQ had 73 per cent of the sovereignist vote in October but it has now fallen to 61 per cent. Jean Francois Lisee, the new leader cannot be happy. Wait, he’s not only not happy, he’s delirious. Does he really think that Anglos will support him and his party? Do they think we believe that he won’t hold another referendum in the first mandate if elected? If you do, we have swampland for you in Florida.

When the conditions are ripe for a yes vote, you can bet your tippy that Lisee will hold a referendum no matter what he says. It appears that the dream of their own country is slowly, drippingly fading away. Drip, drip, drip, drip,

Remember Tony Bennett? He just turned 90 and is still singing and performing. He lives with his 50 year old wife in Trump Tower but may move because of the security issues. Who knew?

It appears that Ivanka Trump, Donald’s daughter is going to be doing many of the first-lady duties as well as being an advisor. Where oh where doe that leave the stunning Melania? Sounds like she may wind up looking like Prince Philip who walks five steps behind his wife the Queen. She will be irrelevant but a lot prettier than Phil.

Starting today, eight new Cannabis Culture dispensaries opened in Montreal. Cannabis culture dispensaries? They are stores that sell weed and the dude who opened them wore a green sweater to match the weed. Seriously? He’s waiting for the police to shut him down as marijuana is still not legal.

Wait a minute Blanche. Didn’t Justin campaign and say it would become legal? What happened there? Did he make a promise that he’s not going to keep? Say it ain’t so.Hehehehe.

Obama’s legacy isn’t the only one that looks like it’s getting the boot. So is Michelle’s.

She started a whole business about healthy eating, even planting a garden somewhere around the White House. She began the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act that required lunch programs revise its nutritional guidelines for the first time in 15 years. That is a very good thing.

Unfortunately, Trump is king of fried and fast food plus he’s a lot fatter than Michelle or Barack. You think he cares about healthy eating?

So that garden in the White House? Let’s put it this way – does Melania look like the type to start digging in the earth to plant tomatoes and potatoes? It’s not a trick question dearies. The answer is no.

Good Shabbos
We’ll talk…

The Loo in The Tube: The Best Paying Seat in the House

Seems in Milan the church has become very caring about other people’s feelings. Who knew?  An Italian priest has decided to break with tradition and not set up a nativity scene this season. Why? He doesn’t want to offend Muslims.

Wait, it gets better. Here’s what the priest said: “A crib positioned within sight of them could be seen as a lack of respect for followers of other faiths and hurt the sensibilities of Muslims.”

Here’s a headline: Blanche finds it offensive when we see half naked women on billboards. We find the pictures demeaning to women and they offend our sensibilities. Are those ads coming down? Not on your life. So what’s a person to do? Don’t look. Turn away.

Everyone, including muslims have a choice not to look at things that offend them. Bending over backwards to appease anybody results in becoming a pretzel cause there is no end to appeasement as we see from the Obama administration.

Let’s see what Barrett, Quebec’s health minister is going to say about a study which just came out ranking Montreal dead last in 10th place in a national health survey.

The Conference Board of Canada ranked ten Canadian cities on their performance using 24 indicators, grouped into four categories: life satisfaction; population health; healthy lifestyle; and access to health care services. Toronto didn’t fare very well either, ranking at 9. The top city is Saskatoon. Unfortunately, one has to live there to avail themselves of good services. Ya can’t have everything.

We can attest to one of the categories, the access to health care. A friend’s daughter broke her finger in school. Before going to the emergency she went to a private clinic to take an x-ray, which she brought with her to the hospital. Her welcome? “It will be six hours till you are seen.” In fact, it was six and half hours. Welcome to national health care.

Ever hear of Kevin O’Leary? He’s very rich, very loud, very in-your-face and will most likely run for leader of the Conservative party. If anyone can give Justin a run for his money, it will be this dude. He sends out tweets a la Donald Trump and is slowly leaking the fact that he may run.

He’s also very media savvy as he waited until there were 14 candidates running and kept the media and public guessing as to whether he will run or not. He’s still keeping people guessing although this past week he held a pre-campaign event loaded with heavy-hitting Conservatives. Our guess is that he will run and could very well win. One thing is sure – if he does win debates in our staid parliament will take on a new life.

Things in the US are status quo – the media doesn’t get Trump and he continues to keep them guessing. Honestly, he doesn’t need to spend a cent on advertising, they do it for him.

The latest geffulement concerns a dude by the name of Rex Tillerson, head of Exxon and Trump’s pick as his Secretary of State. In case you don’t know how big Exxon is, we’ll tell you: If ExxonMobil were a country, it would be the world’s 41st largest economy — bigger than the Philippines, Chile, Ireland and Finland, according to a Washington Post assessment, based on World Bank figures.

So what’s the problem? Seems Tillerson has a ‘relationship’ with Putin as in 2013 Putin awarded Tillerson the Order of Friendship, one of the highest honors the nation bestows on foreign citizens. Tillerson negotiates with world leaders and heads of huge companies. From the looks of things, Trump is hiring as many businessmen as he can with a sprinkle of Washington insiders and Tillerson fits the bill.

Montreal is turning 375 years old. Even though we haven’t changed the year to 2017, the festivities have begun with the lighting of several key tourist spots in our fair city. One of the best ads we’ve seen in a very long time just came out regarding this anniversary. It’s called Dear Toronto…Sorry.

What are we sorry for? Well, young Montrealers went to Toronto to say I’m sorry for being such a fun city and inviting them to the celebration. Many people were given complimentary tickets (Air Canada no less) to fly here during the year. It’s really a cool and very clean ad. We were highly impressed. Here’s the link to watch the dudes in Toronto the good actually get excited:

Did you know that you have to pay to use the loo in the London Tube? Seriously. What if you don’t have money? What if you don’t have change? What if you waited too long and you’re dancing while looking for your money? What if you don’t know the currency exchange? Oy.

As a good will gesture, the loo charges in the Victoria and Charing Cross stations have suspended. Why you ask? Because passengers have endured travel delays and cancellations over the last few months so to thank said passengers they are letting them use the bathroom for free? This is a thank you? We have no words.

We’ll talk…

Sh.t Happens. That’s a Direct Quote from Our Mayor. Yikes!

Mayor Coderre was asked this morning how things are going when interviewed on the radio. Especially in light of the over 22 million people who watched the demolition derby video on Beaver Hall Hill on Monday. His response: Sh.t happens. Yes Blanche, the mayor said that. He could also have said let them eat cake. Or off with their heads.

If his car had slid down the hill we think he would have had a very different reaction.  Instead of taking ownership of the situation he fluffed it off. It’s his job as mayor to investigate what happened and to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Blanche, he’s not a mean person. He’s just a shtikel too comfortable in his own skin and certainly in his job. Sounds like he takes up all the oxygen in the room.

The pope is another beauty who needs to button it up. He waded into the geffuelment of fake news. Doesn’t he have pope business to do? And since when does the pope troll the internet? Obviously he doesn’t have enough to keep him busy. But we digress.

He spoke out on media outlets that focus on scandals and smears and promote fake news as a means of discrediting people in public life. That wouldn’t have been half bad, but he kept going.

Before you read this next part, may we suggest that you don’t eat anything for a moment. He said, and we quote: Journalists and the media must avoid falling into “coprophilia” – an abnormal interest in excrement. Those reading or watching such stories risked behaving like coprophagics, people who eat faeces.

Hey Blanche, ya think Coderre read this before making his genius statement? What a coincidence that they both refer to the same grossness. Honestly…

In case you haven’t noticed, when crossing the border from the US into Quebec all the signs are in French only. Including the serious ones like road closed or tunnel closed when the lights are blinking or how about the bridge is closed.

While those who live here might get the message, there are plenty of truck drivers and tourists coming in from the US who speak not a word of French. We are guessing that the signs are all in French because the Quebec government is afraid that their language will become diluted if they alert people to dangers on the road. Seriously? As we have said on more than one occasion, the bureaucrats here have peas for brains.

Seems that a petition was launched to change this and make all road signs bilingual. And that very special department, l’office de la langue francais agrees that the signs are allowed to be in English when it’s a matter of safety.

Blanche, ya think these are the same dudes who forgot to salt the down part of hill on Monday? Could be.

While we are not going to list all of Trump’s picks for his cabinet etc, this dude gets an honourable mention, partly due to this name – Andrew Puzder. Blanche, did he make that name up from something longer or is that his real name. Puzder?

Trump has nominated him for Labor Secretary. One of the things he does not support is the $15 an hour minimum wage and he’s right. We have heard and read way to many articles about this idea and how bad it is for the masses. If the minimum wage goes to $15, thousands and thousands of people will lose their jobs as small businesses will simply not be able to absorb the costs.

We also read that big chains like MacDonalds are speeding up their development of robots to do the jobs of people. So instead of 3 dudes flipping burgers, there will be one dude setting the robot.

While we are certainly not upset that Trump won the election it’s taking us a while to get used to his tweeting business. It was one thing when he was campaigning, but now that he’s president-elect and moving into the White House in about six weeks, well, it’s not quite presidential.

Ah, Blanche, don’t you know that he’s rewriting the book on being presidential? While that may be true, he kind of stepped into it yesterday when he took on a union leader in Indiana.

Chuck Jones is President of United Steelworkers 1999 and owns a flip phone so he doesn’t even see tweets. The issue? Trump said he saved 1100 jobs at Carrier, Jones said it was more like 800 jobs. Right after he heard that, Trump tweeted that Jones wasn’t doing a very good job. Jones then received the following voicemails: One voice asked: What kind of car do you drive? Another said: We’re coming for you.

Jones is a simple, unsophisticated dude. He’s certainly no match for Trump who should lay low for as long as he can which would be about ten seconds. The visuals are really not good.

Michael Moore is not only an idiot, he’s a dangerous idiot. He predicted Donald Trump would win the presidency months before his  victory and now, obviously emboldened by himself is now encouraging people to protest the President-elect’s upcoming inauguration.

He went even further with this announcement: If you are living outside the US, you can take action at US embassies, borders, or other symbols of neocolonial power.

Our suggestion is that someone take away his phone and computer. He’s a serious menace to society.

John Glenn, the first American to orbit Earth died on Thursday in Columbus, Ohio. He was 95.

Montreal’s Five Minutes of Cringe-Worthy Fame.

So Blanche, we’re finally famous. The demolition derby video that was taken yesterday when the city didn’t salt one of the bigger hills in downtown Montreal has been viewed, at last count, by over 18 million people.  Dats a lotta peeps. Seems they salted the hill going up but for ‘some’ reason, never got around to salting the down part.

While listening to Fox News this morning, lo and behold Montreal got an honourable mention. Make no mistake however, it’s nothing to be proud of. The announcer did not bother to contain himself and had a good laugh at our expense while watching the video.

As for the union who does this work – first we heard that suddenly the snow turned to black ice. Who knew that happens here? Quel surprise. Then we heard there was a ‘communication’ problem. Can we talk?

If anyone knows someone in the public works of Montreal, specifically in da union please pass our suggestion along to them: Make a list of all the hills downtown, like Guy, Peel, Mountain, Beaver Hall Hill etc. Then, give that list to da dudes who take the trucks out to salt the streets. Then tell those dudes not to come back until all those hills have been salted – up and down. They don’t have to talk to anyone. They just have to get the job done.

One more thing on this. The Montreal Gazette made no mention of this video in today’s paper. They must work for the same union as the salter dudes.

While we do not celebrate xmas, we appreciate a nice big, full  tree, like the one in Rockefeller Centre. The tree that Montreal put up this year looks like it went on a diet gone bad.

Here is the best line from the city about this tree, which could win the quote of the year award: “We don’t pretend that it is the most beautiful tree, but it’s unique and if you look long enough you will find something unique for you.” There are no words.

Unique? It’s ugly, scrawny and belongs in someone’s fireplace, not in the middle of a city. The missives can pretend all they want. When the emperor has no clothes, he’s naked and when the tree has no pines it’s also naked.

In an astonishing u-turn, Angela Merkel announced today that ‘the full veil is not appropriate here’. In other words, she is banning the burka. She’s a tad late for this edict, n’est pas?

Remember when she said she was letting in oh, 1 million ‘refugees’? She also backtracked on her policy to let in said refugees saying she would avoid a repeat of the huge migrant influx that occurred under her watch last year. Ya think there’s an election coming? Blanche, don’t you wonder what possessed her to take in all of those people in the first place, thousands of whom could not be vetted?

It’s one thing to change your mind and have toast instead of a bagel for breakfast. What she did is nothing short of pandering to get herself re-elected.

There is no doubt that CEO’s of big companies in the USA are ‘tzittering’, which, loosely translated means shaking in their boots. Trump went after Boeing today and good for him. Here’s his tweet on this: “Boeing is building a brand new 747 Air Force One for future presidents, but costs are out of control, more than $4 billion. Cancel order!”

A defense official confirmed that the total cost of the Presidential Aircraft ‘Recapitalization’ program will likely be $4 billion which is where he got the number. It appears that the money tree in the backyard of the White House is going to shake a lot less in a few weeks.

Dalhousie University did an ‘economic analysis’. Blanche – those are code words used so that people roll their eyes and either not read the article or sigh at the mumbo jumbo jargon.

In said report, Trump is being blamed for the fact that our food bills will be going up next year. Seriously? That new nifty little carbon tax that everyone is going to pay will hike the prices. The dairy board protecting the farmers needs to go. Then maybe our food bills will go down. What the heck does Trump have to do with this? Nothing. It’s a decoy so duck.

In case you didn’t know, the Duke of Westminster died in August at the age of 64 of a heart attack. Who cares you ask? His son for one. He’s 30 years old and is now the richest bachelor on Earth under the age of 30 having inherited about $9 billion. If you know anyone who might be a suitable bride, perhaps now is the time to pipe up.

450 Kilometers of Bike Lanes to be Plowed This Winter. Another Genius City of Montreal Idea.

In case you thought that maybe vegans are, shall we say a tad on the extreme side, wonder no more. Blanche, could it be because they eat like birds and they are humans? We digress. The Bank of England put out some new polymer banknotes because they are harder to counterfeit.  Sounds normal, eh?

Well, it appears that vegans got wind (Blanche, don’t confuse that with passing wind), that these new banknotes contain minute quantities of tallow, a hard beef byproduct. Lest you think that England is the only one using tallow, we can tell you that virtually all of the world’s plastic bills have this ingredient. Can we talk?

These people are not normal. Are they eating the money? Is it the first ingredient in the plastic? Do they not wear leather shoes or have a leather wallet or perhaps a leather belt? Is someone going through their life with a microscope make sure they own zero products that may contain traces of tallow? No. Blanche, people are just plain bored with their lives.

In the past few months in Montreal there were two pit bull attacks that we know of. In the first attack a dog got lose from his backyard, ran into the neighbours back yard and mauled a woman to death. In the second case, a young child was playing in the park and was attacked by a dog of this breed.

Yesterday, the Crown decided not to lay charges in the attack last summer that killed the woman. The other case will have charges. Are these people normal? Is this province run like a banana republic? Indeed.

The man who’s dog killed the woman also suffered said the judge as he lost his dog. What? Can you say that again? A woman died because a dog bit her to death and the owner is not responsible?

The ex-mayor of Laval, Gilles Vaillaincourt is off to jail for 6 years. Well not exactly six years. As he’s already 76 years old, he will most likely get out for good behaviour in, um, let’s see, 2 months? Ok. Maybe a year.

The best part of this story is that he has to pay back $9 million. One minute.  If that’s what he has to pay back from ripping off anyone who did anything with the city of Laval, how much more money does he have stashed away? And where is it?

We are pretty sure that such practices take place in many other cities all over the world. It’s called pay for play. The difference is that here they are very stupid and get caught.

In case you thought that Trump and Obama are having a bromance, think again. Today Obama filed what appears to be a standard edict stopping the move of US embassy to Jerusalem for 6 months, weeks before Trump takes office.

This was done of course because Trump said publicly that he wanted to move the embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. Obviously Obama is not happy with this decision, to put it mildly. So much for being friends.

This next piece is serious shtus – nonsense, but we couldn’t resist. It appears that Megyn Kelly is set to move from Fox News to CNN. What is holding back the announcement is the $20 million she is demanding. In case you forgot who she is, we will remind you that she had a huge fight with Donald Trump on the air. In the end of course, he won the election. Can we talk?

The only people worth $20 million are doctors who save peoples lives. People who value news anchors over doctors and surgeons need to re-examine their own values. She’s a talking head with a pretty face. What is she contributing to the world aside from some news analysis? That she fought with Trump? Spare us. The world is sheker – one big lie.

Jill Stein head of the green party is another beauty. The world is done with the US election. It was ugly, loud, in-your-face and lower than low. Everybody voted and Trump won. So what’s the problem here?

Jill Stein has demanded recounts in Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania.

Stein didn’t lose the election so much as she disappeared in it. More than 134 million ballots have been counted so far. Stein received fewer than 1.5 million of them. That’s barely a percentage point of the overall popular vote. Even Hillary said to give it up.

It appears however that there is an ulterior motive in requesting a recount. By asking people to fund her recount, she inherits their email addresses. Way more email addresses than she got during the campaign. Always a reason people do things, eh Blanche?

What would Blanche be without something about Trump? Here’s a good one. Seems he got flack for going directly to Carrier to negotiate a deal to keep most of the jobs in America instead of letting them go to Mexico. By the way, in the USA union workers get between $15 and $20 per hour. In Mexico workers, not unionized, get between $15 and $20 a day. But we digress.

He was told it’s not ‘presidential’ to go directly to companies. People just don’t get it. He’s not going to do anything presidential or if he does, it will be on his terms. His response: “I think it’s very presidential. And if it’s not presidential, that’s OK because I like doing it. We’re going to have a lot of phone calls made to companies when they say they’re leaving this country because they’re not going to leave this country.” Good for him.

It’s about time bureaucracy got turned over on its head. And there would be no better place for that to happen than here in Quebec, where we are to absolute kings and masters of bureaucracy. In fact, the government is our main employer.

Mayor Coderre is back again with another insane statement. Seems this winter they are going to be able to plow 450 kilometres of bike paths. For exactly who are they doing this? The ten people who ride their bikes with sleet hitting their faces and slush hitting their backside making them completely wet. Sounds like fun, eh Blanche?

How about putting normal sand on the sidewalks instead of those stones which do not melt the ice. That would be money well spent.

Good Shabbos
we’ll talk…