Monthly Archives: December 2017

Quel Surprise! It’s December and it Snowed!

So, who’s going to win? Roy Moore the republican with some nasty ‘sexual misconduct’ charges hovering around him or Doug Jones, the staunch Democrat? Lest any poll think themselves geniuses and are predicting the answer, we will remind you of the polls just before the presidential election, which had Hillary beating Trump by 95%.

In this election the outcome could depend on who doesn’t vote. Voter turnout is supposed to be low as Alabama usually votes Republican but many people will most likely stay home rather than vote for Moore. We may send out a special Blanche report tonight once the results are in.

A final note about Roy Moore. He was accused of being, shall we say, not a lover of the Jewish people. Well, today his wife tried to put that at rest. Here are her remarks. Try to read them with a southern drawl, they’ll sound even better:

Fake news would tell you that we don’t care for Jews. And I tell you all this because I’ve seen it and I just want to set the record straight while they’re here. One of our attorneys is a Jew. We have very close friends that are Jewish, and rabbis, and we also fellowship with them. Seriously? Some of my best friends are Jewish? No comment.

Quel surprise! Winter came in December. Seems the public works people in Montreal just can’t seem to get their act together when it comes to our annual first snowstorm. Salt? Plows? Fuggedaboutit. They finally made an appearance this afternoon but not before busses and cars went slip slidden away down hills this morning.

Can someone please send our new mayor Plante a memo that we always get our first snowfall in December? Maybe next year the surprise factor will be eliminated.

Good thing that genius Bangladeshi dude couldn’t figure out how to make a bomb properly. It exploded prematurely and injured a few people mildly. The terrorist got the brunt of the explosion.

There is absolutely no way to stop such people as there are just too many soft targets everywhere.

Well, there is a way. Don’t let them into the country in the first place. He came in on a chain migration law, which is when US immigrants legally bring family members into the country. People like him are going to ruin it for decent people trying to bring their family members to the US. Let’s bet Trump puts an end to this loophole.

Uber best sit up and take note of this next piece. Go-Jek is a $3 billion Indonesian start-up. When you download their app you summon a car or motorbike driver who could  give you a lift,  bring you takeout, shop for groceries or deliver a present to someone across town. Wait it gets better.

They have another app called Go-Life. With that  you can hail someone to come cut your hair, give you a massage, clean your bathroom or change your car’s oil. And with the money you keep in Go-Jek’s digital wallet, you can pay your electricity bill, buy mobile data and book movie tickets — all within the app.

The company was built by one person and is now worth about $3billion. Blanche, ya think we should grab a ride on a motorbike? What if it starts to rain  or even worse, a huge wind appears and we get blown around? We’ll stick to cars.

What’s with democratic senator  Kirsten Gillibrand? First thing you should know is that she replaced Hillary when she decided to run for president.

Miss-holier-than-thou seems to have had a revelation at her bible class this week. To get Trump to resign due to sexual harassment charges. What was last week’s revelation? To get Al Franken to resign and in fact she was successful.

Given that, she shouldn’t be taking herself so seriously. There’s a vast difference between a senator and the president, who, by the way, ain’t going anywhere. For some reason she reminds us of Pocahontas – Elizabeth Warren – and not in a good way. We need the big barf bag for both of them.

We would like to take this opportunity to bid our dear friend Tommy Schnurmacher a fond farewell as he retires from his over forty years in the radio and entertainment business in Montreal. His wit, intelligence, quick-thinking and humour will be sorely missed on Montreal’s airwaves.

As we have heard more times than we can count, the last man standing at Montreal’s main English radio station is Aaron Rand. Once he bites the dust we will be left with the pathetic choice of either a flat-line, white-bread boring host trying to fill Tommy’s shoes or a giggling childish woman appealing to someone with the intelligence of a five-year-old.

Happy Chanukah
We’ll Talk…

Roaring California Wildfires

Blanche, did you see the fires happening near in Beverly Hills and Belair? No one is immune. Fire doesn’t distinguish between rich and poor.  One very wealthy resident loaded up her Bentley as she prepared to flee the neighborhood – where homes cost an average of $3.3million

When authorities tell people to leave, it means now. You may have a few minutes to gather some important items and then run for your life.

The largest blaze, the Thomas Fire, is now four times the size of Manhattan. Southern California issued a ‘purple wind’ warning today – an extreme on the color-coded system that has never been used before. It showed the expected strength of the winds driving the  fierce wildfires has reached uncharted territory, pushing past red, which means ‘high’ into the color that means ‘extreme.’

And a final chilling forecast given today: The National Weather Service San Diego now says that much of the region – including LA, Ventura, Orange County, Inland Empire, San Diego and Santa Barbara – are at ‘Extreme’ risk of fires. That means that ‘upon ignition fires will have extreme growth, will burn very intensely, and will be uncontrollable. G-d protect everyone and watch over the firefighters.

When major news networks point their cameras to East Jerusalem, they are goading and waiting for ‘riots’ to erupt. Nothing new there.

So who’s the most angry with Trump’s announcement. Let’s start with the UN, the place of peace that puts the most oppressive Muslim countries on a panel discussing women’s rights.

Then there’s Turkey, Bolivia, Egypt, France, Italy, Senegal, Sweden, United Kingdom and Uruguay. Wait, the Pope also isn’t happy.

All those listed (and the list is much longer) are certainly not models of making Jews feel welcome. The UN security council is expected to meet on Friday to ‘discuss’ Trump’s recognition of Jerusalem as Israel’s capital. What’s the point of meeting, they already have the answer.

It behooves us to remember, in the end, who runs the world and it’s not Trump or Trudeau or any other world leader. G-d runs the world, which is why the words emblazoned on the UN are even more appropriate today: For out of Zion shall go forth the law, and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore.

Blanche called out (via emailing his office) our Quebec member of parliament, David Birnbaum, on his total lack of any backbone in voting for that asinine motion of getting rid of Bonjour Hi when greeting people. 

The response from his office? Seems so many people sent him angry emails that he’s holding a breakfast next week to ‘discuss’ the situation. We were invited to said breakfast. Our response to his office:

With all due respect, there’s nothing to discuss. The deed is done. You can remind Mr. Birnbaum of the following: People who vote are done with politicians like him – yes-men who cannot or will not take a stand on anything. They vote the ‘party-line’ like robots. Results of his kind of politician are seen in elections that brought in Brexit, Trump and Macron.

We wonder if the PQ or Liberals noticed that when paying by credit card, the machines all have Welcome Bonjour. Are they going to go after that next? See how ridiculous this sounds? Mr. Birnbaum can serve the best breakfast in the world. He cannot undo the damage that was done and the fools that the Liberal party made of themselves.

Today in Quebec’s parliament, Couillard had no choice but to address this issue as the international media got hold of it and made him and all of Quebec look like clowns. We have said this on more than one occasion: International companies take note of all this nitpicking by the PQ and think fifty times before even thinking about moving here.

Anyone hear of Kent Hehr? He’s the Liberal’s Disablity Minister who himself is a paraplegic. One would think that someone with his own issues would be a bit empathetic to others with issues. Think again.

He met with a group of thalidomide (an anti-nauseau drug given in the 50’s to pregnant women which causes severe birth defects to their children) survivors. Why they met with him is irrelevant. Hehr’s treatment of them was nothing short of abhorrent

On hearing of their suffering he responded, “Well, you don’t have it so bad. Everyone has a sob story.” When told of their shortened life expectancy…”So you probably have about ten years left. That’s good news for the Canadian government.”

Instead of issuing a normal apology and letting the whole thing die, Hehr tried to say that his remarks were misconstrued. It appears that Trudeau is having a hard time keeping up with the damage control in his party.

And this dude? He needs to be put of his misery, fired and then sent to therapy. Oh wait. We would probably have to pay for that. Forget it. Just keep him behind a desk pushing papers.

That clown Al Franken resigned today, in defiance and without issuing an apology. Good riddance.

Kudos to Time magazine for making the silence breakers person of the year. The pendulum will eventually swing back to the middle, but not until all the dirt has risen to the surface.

We left this little ditty for the end. If you use airbnb, take note: hidden cameras have been found in homes that were rented out. They are very difficult to detect. You will not find them with a quick scan of the apartment or house.

One way to deal with the situation is unplug the internet. You won’t have wifi, but your ‘hosts’ won’t be able to watch you take a shower or doing things that are none of their business.

Good Shabbos
We’ll talk…

Trump’s Bold Move

You may not like him. You may think he’s a boor and many other expletives you want to use. You may even think that what he did today was taking the heat off other things going on in his orb. Doesn’t matter.

We watched as Trump said “Today we finally acknowledge the obvious, that Jerusalem is Israel’s capital. This is nothing more or less than a recognition of reality.”

He then said, …”Israel has made its capital in the city of Jerusalem, the capital the Jewish people established in ancient times.”

That’s it. No one since 1995 has had the kahoonas to take a stand and actually do something. How long it will take for the embassy to move there is irrelevant.

A final note on this is what we find astounding and that is how the world has gotten used to Arabs reaction to things when they are not happy. Israel is bracing for riots, G-d forbid terrorist attacks and who knows what else.

Why, we ask ourselves, do Arabs react this way and why has it become the norm? What other groups kill other people when they are not happy with something?

The Middle East is one of if not the most complicated part of the world. Today,things got a bit clearer.

Bonjour. Hi.

Bonjour – Hi. We think that those two letters, Hi, should be emblazoned on billboards all over Montreal. While his party is in the toilet, Lisee seems to be able to keep that word – separation – alive. He’s insidious and sneaky.

Couple his remarks with the fact in today’s paper that 7,000 people left Montreal last year and you have a recipe for big companies thinking ten times about coming here, as they have since 1976.

And it’s not just Anglos who are leaving. So are francophones. Couillard was an idiot to agree with Lisee’s motion. He should have had the kahoonas to say it was ridiculous and made us the laughing stock of North America, which it did. The NY Times ran a story about it.

The provincial government in Quebec are infuriating and just plain dumb. Wait Blanche, we have another idea: Someone should create toilet paper with the word hi written all over it and give it to Lisee and Couillard. Maybe then they will get the point.

Justin Trudeau is definitely not having a good time in China. In fact, he’s most likely changing his shirt a few times a day due to heavy sweating. Seems he cannot launch a deal on free trade negotiations.

As we have said on more than one occasion, the bad combination of being in a job where’s he’s over his head coupled with air between his ears doesn’t bode well for him.

Yesterday, the meeting with the Chinese delegation ended in stalemate after the two sides could not agree on language about the inclusion of labour protections in the framework for talks.

Perhaps Trudeau’s handlers prepped him and he forgot what they told him. Or perhaps they thought he could smile his way through China while taking selfies and wearing fancy socks. Neither worked.

There are three rules when trying to do business with the Chinese: never try to impose your own values; never interpret acknowledgment during a meeting as agreement; don’t assume the people in that meeting have the authority to strike a deal. We are thinking that this was way too much information for Trudeau to absorb.

Blanche, ya think they need to put a net under the new Champlain Bridge to catch cars that might fall through?

You know, the one where over 2000 new parts came in defective? How defective you ask? Here’s the list they shared: porous steel plates; incomplete or non-existent soldering; defective bolts; and several holes poorly aligned in parts that have to be bolted together. One can only imagine the list they didn’t share.

And the cost? Here’s something to ponder. In NY, they are rebuilding the Tappan Zee bridge. It’s about 3 miles long and will cost $4 billion US. The Champlain Bridge is 2 miles long and so far the cost is $4.2 billion CAD. Got that?

Now that the balloon has been flown that over 2000 parts were defective and needed repair and because of that workers need to do overtime to fix said part, you can bet your bippy that $4.2 billion will be at least $5 billion by the time they are done.

The parts are being built in Trois-Rivières, Quebec City, Terrebonne and Madrid, Spain. They don’t say which plants the issues are coming from. And one more question: Spain? They couldn’t find anywhere further away to get parts? Quebec sais faire yet again. Bonjour, hi.

Blanche, for this one you need the mega barf bag. Colin Kaepernick might not have a future ahead of him in football. Ah, but he must be some kind of genius with much to offer aside from teaching students how not to stand for the national anthem. He will be paid six figures to give ‘lectures’ on college campuses and serve as the master of ceremonies at self-congratulatory leftist awards events.

On top of winning GQ’s “Citizen of the Year Award” and Sports Illustrated’s “Muhammad Ali Legacy Award,” Kaepernick has been awarded the “courageous advocate” award at the ACLU of Southern California’s annual Bill of Rights Dinner at the Beverly Wilshire.

Kaepernick is now a model for young people to emulate? There are no words.

Hot off the press: Russia has been banned from the winter olympics in 2018. Quel surprise. It took the IOC about 50 years to figure out that women from Russia, who looked like men, were on steroids or other enhancing drugs. Next.

According to Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, there could be a very serious backlash regarding all those harassment charges. Men in positions of power may be very, very, very, reluctant to hire women.

This is a good news bad news story: The good news is that women won’t be harassed. The bad news is that they won’t be promoted or even hired.

Somewhere there will be some kind of equilibrium and yes, the men who were outed deserve what they are getting.

One of the cases that directly relate to this is happening now in Ottawa. During a photo shoot, a male MP was standing between two women and flippantly said this is not my idea of a threesome. He did not think before he spoke and his words were piggish.

He apologized three times but it appears that the woman involved was not happy with three apologies. He offered to go into mediation to render an apology. Not enough.

The woman in question here is traveling on the backs of the other women who came forward with serious charges. He apologized, realized he was wrong and she should have let it go. She could not and stood up in parliament yesterday and said the following:

“These comments have caused me great stress and have negatively affected my work environment.” Dearie, you need to get some help. You are obviously very delicate in nature. The dude apologized publicly and privately. You can’t take blood from a stone and he’s not resigning if that’s your objective.

We’ll talk…