Monthly Archives: February 2018

No Words and No Action.

If nothing changed regarding guns, gun control and mental health issues after Sandy Hook, when 26 six-year-olds were shot at point blank range six years ago, nothing is going to change after this, the 19th school shooting this year.

The United States is the only country in the world where this happens. The why has multiple, overlapping and intertwining reasons. So again we will see prayer vigils, candles,  many interviews, tears and shrinks trying to make sense of something that is senseless.

Not to sound macabre, but remember the Las Vegas shootings a couple of months ago? Over 50 people were randomly shot from a window in a hotel. No reason. No mental health issues. Just someone’s personal armoury.  It didn’t even last two days in the news.

Right now, it is virtually impossible to stop these massacres as the guns are out there and can be bought at Walmart, gun shows and thousands of stores in between. For now, perhaps the answer is what they have in Israel – metal detectors and guards with some brains checking backpacks. It is time to deal with the here and now and stop talking about things that will never get done.

May G-d give those who lost their children, husbands and wives comfort and strength. There are no words.

Anybody see Kim Jong Un’s sister Kim Yo-jung? That’s a name, eh? It’s obvious that she got the looks in the family. She actually has a chin. Blanche, that’s nasty.

Even though it seems that she’s a favourite of her brother, she best watch her back as top aides can have notoriously short life spans. Maybe she’s planning to stay in South Korea? Ya never know.

Wait. His uncle tried that and Kim Jong got him in an airport with some kind of poison. Remember that. He’s one special dude that Kim Jong Un.

A German actress actually said out loud what we have been saying for quite a while now. She was speaking at the German Film Festival (we are guessing in German) and said the following:

“Women are expected to squeeze into tight-fitting, low-cut dresses and totter on impossible heels in order to serve the gaze of those who’ll judge whether they are marketable or not.” She’s in favour of comfortable clothes.

Perhaps someone can give this message to female talking heads on all the major stations. The only one who dresses with some self-respect and class is Mika Brzezinski of Morning Joe. And believe us, it takes nothing away from what she has to say. Nor does being half naked make what you are saying more relevant.

Good Shabbos,
We’ll talk…

The Mystery of the Missing Kosher Cheese

Anyone see the official portraits of Michelle and Barak Obama unveiled yesterday? Uh, not to be  nasty, but those portraits were, shall we say, interesting at best.

He looks like he’s sitting in a bad wallpaper commercial.  She bears zero resemblance of herself. Seems that she was being depicted more for her clothing than her face. He was to be shown as a thinker. Oh, and one more thing. He has six fingers… Check it out. 

What happened to all the kosher cheese in Montreal and other Jewish communities across Canada? Seems all but one brand has disappeared from the shelves and that brand is basically inedible. It doesn’t even melt on your bread in the toaster oven. Isn’t that interesting Blanche?

With any luck and some pushing, this mystery will not only be solved quickly, but normal cheeses will return to the shelves. Lest anyone forget, the Jewish population does hold some sway in the electoral votes. Plus, what government wants a collusion scandal all over the front pages?

One would think Trudeau’s government has enough on it’s hands with his ‘peoplekind’ comment, where he’s being made a fool of all over the world. We doubt the Liberal government wants to find themselves on the front pages of the newspapers for not allowing kosher cheese to be sold due to some, shall we say, insider protectia, shortly to be the worst kept secret in Canada. Stay tuned to this story.

If this next news item is correct, yet another mystery will be solved.
Keep reading this piece till the end to understand what’s flying here.

It seems that the stock market is being manipulated. On Monday, a whistleblower urged U.S. regulators to investigate VIX manipulation, claiming it has cost investors hundreds of millions of dollars in losses each month, according to a letter from a law firm representing the whistleblower.

Now in English: The CBOE (Chicago Board Options Exchange) Volatility Index, known by its ticker symbol VIX, is a popular measure of the stock market’s expectation of volatility implied by S&P 500 index options, calculated and published by the CBOE. Here’s the pertinent sentence: It is colloquially referred to as the fear index or the fear gauge.

Someone or some people are manipulating the fear factor causing people to lose gzillions of dollars.

Here’s the essence with an example: There’s a stock worth $500 one day and then $100 the next day because someone manipulated the market. That same person will buy tons of that stock at $100 and then manipulate the market again so that stock goes to $700 and then he will sell making a killing while others will lose their veritable shirt. Disgusting.

Montreal’s only free drug and alcohol detox centre has been forced to close a third of its beds after half its nurses quit en masse.

Out of 12 nurses at the Dollard-Cormier Centre on Prince Arthur St., six have quit, saying they couldn’t handle the stress and the double-overtime shifts.

Our illustrious health minister Gaetan Barrette says he will step in if needed, but adds he wants both sides to work things out for themselves. How about throwing some money their way? Or perhaps finding some of the nurses who left the province for this exact reason.

We keep saying the same thing: As long as Couillard holds onto Barrette, he’s toast. And these kinds of news items don’t help.

Coming to a theatre near you probably sooner than you would like: “All students enrolled in a Delaware public school may self-identify gender or race, which is maintained in the school.”

Got that Blanche? You’re a boy and you want to be a girl – poof! You’re a girl. You’re white and feel bad that you have ‘white privilege’ – poof! you’re now black. The world is insane.

Ever see an eensy weensy asterisk beside the price of a flight? Like it says $70* to fly to London. That fare usually represented a one-way ticket sans taxes and fees like the airport taxes. If you didn’t scroll down to see what that asterisk means, you could have wound up paying, oh, $600 for that $70 flight. Special eh?

A rule making that practice illegal was made. Now it seems the airlines are petitioning the US government to rescind that law. Buyer beware.

We’ll talk…

The Mystery of the Dwarf Hamster

In case you were wondering, the NAFTA talks, having just completed their sixth round, are still going nowhere fast. There is a deadline of March 31 but most betting people think that the talks will continue long after that. Unless of course, Trump gets up one morning and decides to dump Canada.

As we said before, the wrong people are sitting at the table which is causing friction where none has to be. Chrystia Freeland, the Canadian foreign minister, said that Canada had come to the table “with creative ideas we believed could move us forward.” Her creative ideas, mostly fluff coming no doubt from our prime minister are definitely not endearing to Trump, to put it mildly.

A former prime minister entered Poland’s insane debate over a new law that prohibits discussion of Polish collusion with the Nazi Holocaust, bluntly telling a leading newspaper that “of course” there were cases of Poles collaborating in the extermination of the Jews.

“Of course Poles took part,” former Polish premier Włodzimierz Cimoszewicz. Ya can’t rewrite history. It’s there in black and white.

This is going to come back and bite the Polish government you-know-where as there are Polish people who know what happened and will soon start to come forward. They will dredge up history that the Polish government would rather remain buried. This story is far from over.

In case you were wondering what’s flying with Trump and the Russians, we’ll give you the latest information. This story is getting very complicated, as some people would like it to be. Watergate was a simple issue of follow the money. This Russian collusion enquiry, going on for a over a year, has produced nothing yet.

So here’s the latest: There are more texts between that FBI lawyer and agent – the same duo (Strock and Page who were having an affair) who sent those anti-Trump messages.

Republicans say the texts suggest former President Obama was keeping very close tabs on the FBI’s investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails…and raise some questions about how involved he was. One text said Obama wanted to “know everything.” It’s unclear whether it was referring specifically to the Clinton probe or the Trump-Russia investigation. But Trump said the texts are “bombshells.” Time will tell. One thing is pretty certain. Hillary is not going to come out of this unscathed.

Further to our emotional support pets being allowed on airlines, here’s one of the more interesting stories:

A college student had to flush her emotional support dwarf hamster down the toilet after Spirit Airlines seemingly refused to let her bring her furry pet on the plane. Spirit airlines is denying the charge and she is thinking of suing the airline. This young woman needs more than a dwarf hamster to help her.

We’ll talk

Flying Noah’s Arks

When Montrealers tossed out Denis Coderre in the last election it was to be expected. He was arrogant and had grandiose plans to spend our money a la Jean Drapeau. In came Valerie Plante to save the day – a fresh new face with fresh new ideas. A people person. Montrealers were duped. Big time.

First and foremost Valerie Plante desperately needs a communications consultant as within a few months people are all saying the same thing: She is as arrogant as Coderre.

Case in point is her new ‘green’ initiative. Montreal is lucky to have a mountain (Mount Royal) right in the centre of the city. It is a beautiful east-west road. Madame Plante has unilaterally announced that as of this spring, the city will introduce a pilot projet to prevent drivers from using Mount Royal as an east-west artery.

Her office said that reducing car traffic will make Mount Royal safer for cyclists, runners and walkers. It is going to create colossal traffic jams in the city. But hey, who cares about the economy and business? Certainly not Plante.

Can we talk? That road is steeper than steep and has hairpin turns. Only the most ardent, skilled cyclists will be able to use it. Walking up that mountain? Again if one is an olympic style walker perhaps. Regular Joes? Not a chance.

Instead of putting this out for discussion, Plante is issuing edicts. And that’s why people don’t like her. Can someone please tell her that Montreal is not her personal fiefdom, even if she is the mayor? That she works for the people of Montreal who elected her. She is quickly becoming a modern day Marie Antoinette as her motto seems to be let them eat cake.

Speaking of tree-huggers, Justin Trudeau continues to spout one cringe-worthy comment after another.

He has been holding town hall meetings all over the country. In Edmonton, a questioner told Trudeau maternal love was the key to changing “the future of mankind.” In a hushed tone Trudeau interjected to say in his whispery voice: “We like to say peoplekind, not necessarily mankind. It’s more inclusive.”

Come on. It’s enough already.

We are certain that Trudeau cannot be happy his comment went viral as people are making minced-meat out of him. One of the best came from the Daily Mail in the UK:

Mankind ended last night. I know, I know, you probably didn’t realize. But it happened. A world leader publicly pronounced it dead. Yes, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau killed off ‘mankind’ because he finds the word offensive. I’m not kidding. I wish I were. Our  prime minister is quickly becoming an  international embarrassment.

Polish President Andrzej Duda said on Tuesday that he would sign into law a bill making it illegal to accuse “the Polish nation” of complicity in the Holocaust and other Nazi atrocities. Duda went even further, saying “perpetrators of such crimes shall be liable to a fine or imprisonment for up to three years.”

As Netanyahu responded, “One cannot change history, and the Holocaust cannot be denied.”

Passing a law pretending  that the Poles were not complicit with the Germans and didn’t hand over hundreds of thousands of Jews to the nazis will not make it go away. Facts are facts. They were complicit. Revisionist history is not real.

The stock market is not for the faint of heart. If you’re in it these days, stop looking at your phone every ten seconds and go read a book for the next week or so.

Airlines are quickly becoming flying Noah’s arks. For about $150 passengers can get their animal—and not just dogs or cats—certified as an emotional support animal that then gets to fly with them at no additional charge and is also not required to fly in any approved container.

No doubt Blanche, you heard last week that a woman tried to get her peacock on board citing the bird was used for emotional support.

In case you think we are kidding, wait till you have to share a seat with someone bringing their pig or giant standard poodle. Airlines are finally stepping up to the plate and requiring passengers to certify that the animals are actually trained for air travel. Then, the travelers must sign a letter of responsibility in case the animal injures other passengers or property. When it starts costing people money for their stunts, things will quickly come to a halt.

We’ll talk…

Michelle Obama aka The Drama Queen

Justin Trudeau blew the NAFTA talks before they even started. We don’t want to sound crude, nor do we want to be viewed as misogynist, because we are not. Rather, Blanche is a realist, understanding that sometimes, one has to think beyond their own ‘feelings’ to get the job done.

Chrystia Freeland is not the person to be negotiating with Trump on NAFTA. Why? Because Donald Trump likes his women pretty and young. He dislikes aggressive women who, as Freeland did this past week, disparaged him in front of many people at an open meeting. While this is certainly not one of his better qualities, to put it mildly, it is a fact.

Freeland is in a pi.sing contest with Trump that she will never win. Never. He will kill NAFTA rather than have her win on any issue. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Freeland has to go.

Alas, Trudeau doesn’t have the kahoonas to admit his mistake. It would cause his fans to think him weak in terms of women’s issues. This has nothing to do with women’s issues. This is a government issue which affects all Canadians and as such, the best person should be negotiating and Freeland is not that person. And so ladies and gentlemen, he will take the country down with him rather than lose face.

We have not used the barf bag in a very long time but it’s back thanks to Michelle Obama. Seriously, she is beyond holier-than-thou.

She was on a talk show recently and said, “To those Americans who are frightened by the current political climate: remain hopeful.” She’s the mother-of-all drama queens.

We will remind you of what she said in 2008 when her husband was running for the democratic nomination: “For the first time in my adult life, I am really proud of my country because it feels like hope is finally making a comeback.”

Her husband let down his black bros. He was unable to make decisions on many issues. And she’s telling people to remain hopeful? Democrats have no leader, no message and no money. She should be directing her hope comments to her party.

Blanche, do you know Canada’s national anthem by heart? Well, you will have to learn another version because Justin Trudeau has made our anthem gender neutral.

Instead of singing ‘in all our sons’ command, we will now be singing ‘in all of us command’. It doesn’t even make sense. There’s nothing to say except that Trudeau is very busy with everything except what he needs to be doing – governing the country.

Halftime during the super bowl is also called the big flush. That’s when everybody in North America goes to the bathroom. It’s also when millions tune to watch the halftime show.

So this year, Justin Timberlake is performing. Fifteen years ago he also performed together with Janet Jackson. Remember her ‘wardrobe malfunction’ aka nipplegate? Blanche, seriously you are dizguzting.

So the bet is will Timberlake call her back and if so, will she have a wardrobe malfunction for old times sake. We will all know on Sunday night.

Francois Legault is the head of the infamous CAQ. If an election were held in Quebec today, polls show he would win a majority. The problem is he’s an ex-separatist. The question is will people trust him once they get in the polling booth?

The answer is yes if Couillard gets rid of his pit bull in the guise of health minister Barrette. What does Barrette have on Couillard that he won’t dump him?

Michael Wolff is the author of the error-filled book “Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House. This morning he was a guest on Morning Joe.

He was called out by Mika Brzezinski for claiming in his book that he knew that Trump was having an affair but could not responsibly say with whom. Instead, Wolff coyly pointed viewers to a passage located somewhere at “the end of the book” that would single out Trump’s mistress. That someone at the end of the book turned out to be Nikki Haley.

Brzezinski kept pushing Wolff, saying that while he was having fun with a guessing game, he was playing with lives. Wolff would not back down. Brzezinski told him that on Morning Joe there’s no bs. While we don’t always agree with their stance, there really is little bs there. Wolff’s interview was abruptly ended after being severely reprimanded.

Brzezinski is correct. To suggest that someone is having an affair, obviously for financial gain, with nothing to back it up is dead wrong.