Category Archives: Uncategorized

Flying Noah’s Arks

When Montrealers tossed out Denis Coderre in the last election it was to be expected. He was arrogant and had grandiose plans to spend our money a la Jean Drapeau. In came Valerie Plante to save the day – a fresh new face with fresh new ideas. A people person. Montrealers were duped. Big time.

First and foremost Valerie Plante desperately needs a communications consultant as within a few months people are all saying the same thing: She is as arrogant as Coderre.

Case in point is her new ‘green’ initiative. Montreal is lucky to have a mountain (Mount Royal) right in the centre of the city. It is a beautiful east-west road. Madame Plante has unilaterally announced that as of this spring, the city will introduce a pilot projet to prevent drivers from using Mount Royal as an east-west artery.

Her office said that reducing car traffic will make Mount Royal safer for cyclists, runners and walkers. It is going to create colossal traffic jams in the city. But hey, who cares about the economy and business? Certainly not Plante.

Can we talk? That road is steeper than steep and has hairpin turns. Only the most ardent, skilled cyclists will be able to use it. Walking up that mountain? Again if one is an olympic style walker perhaps. Regular Joes? Not a chance.

Instead of putting this out for discussion, Plante is issuing edicts. And that’s why people don’t like her. Can someone please tell her that Montreal is not her personal fiefdom, even if she is the mayor? That she works for the people of Montreal who elected her. She is quickly becoming a modern day Marie Antoinette as her motto seems to be let them eat cake.

Speaking of tree-huggers, Justin Trudeau continues to spout one cringe-worthy comment after another.

He has been holding town hall meetings all over the country. In Edmonton, a questioner told Trudeau maternal love was the key to changing “the future of mankind.” In a hushed tone Trudeau interjected to say in his whispery voice: “We like to say peoplekind, not necessarily mankind. It’s more inclusive.”

Come on. It’s enough already.

We are certain that Trudeau cannot be happy his comment went viral as people are making minced-meat out of him. One of the best came from the Daily Mail in the UK:

Mankind ended last night. I know, I know, you probably didn’t realize. But it happened. A world leader publicly pronounced it dead. Yes, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau killed off ‘mankind’ because he finds the word offensive. I’m not kidding. I wish I were. Our  prime minister is quickly becoming an  international embarrassment.

Polish President Andrzej Duda said on Tuesday that he would sign into law a bill making it illegal to accuse “the Polish nation” of complicity in the Holocaust and other Nazi atrocities. Duda went even further, saying “perpetrators of such crimes shall be liable to a fine or imprisonment for up to three years.”

As Netanyahu responded, “One cannot change history, and the Holocaust cannot be denied.”

Passing a law pretending  that the Poles were not complicit with the Germans and didn’t hand over hundreds of thousands of Jews to the nazis will not make it go away. Facts are facts. They were complicit. Revisionist history is not real.

The stock market is not for the faint of heart. If you’re in it these days, stop looking at your phone every ten seconds and go read a book for the next week or so.

Airlines are quickly becoming flying Noah’s arks. For about $150 passengers can get their animal—and not just dogs or cats—certified as an emotional support animal that then gets to fly with them at no additional charge and is also not required to fly in any approved container.

No doubt Blanche, you heard last week that a woman tried to get her peacock on board citing the bird was used for emotional support.

In case you think we are kidding, wait till you have to share a seat with someone bringing their pig or giant standard poodle. Airlines are finally stepping up to the plate and requiring passengers to certify that the animals are actually trained for air travel. Then, the travelers must sign a letter of responsibility in case the animal injures other passengers or property. When it starts costing people money for their stunts, things will quickly come to a halt.

We’ll talk…

Michelle Obama aka The Drama Queen

Justin Trudeau blew the NAFTA talks before they even started. We don’t want to sound crude, nor do we want to be viewed as misogynist, because we are not. Rather, Blanche is a realist, understanding that sometimes, one has to think beyond their own ‘feelings’ to get the job done.

Chrystia Freeland is not the person to be negotiating with Trump on NAFTA. Why? Because Donald Trump likes his women pretty and young. He dislikes aggressive women who, as Freeland did this past week, disparaged him in front of many people at an open meeting. While this is certainly not one of his better qualities, to put it mildly, it is a fact.

Freeland is in a pi.sing contest with Trump that she will never win. Never. He will kill NAFTA rather than have her win on any issue. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Freeland has to go.

Alas, Trudeau doesn’t have the kahoonas to admit his mistake. It would cause his fans to think him weak in terms of women’s issues. This has nothing to do with women’s issues. This is a government issue which affects all Canadians and as such, the best person should be negotiating and Freeland is not that person. And so ladies and gentlemen, he will take the country down with him rather than lose face.

We have not used the barf bag in a very long time but it’s back thanks to Michelle Obama. Seriously, she is beyond holier-than-thou.

She was on a talk show recently and said, “To those Americans who are frightened by the current political climate: remain hopeful.” She’s the mother-of-all drama queens.

We will remind you of what she said in 2008 when her husband was running for the democratic nomination: “For the first time in my adult life, I am really proud of my country because it feels like hope is finally making a comeback.”

Her husband let down his black bros. He was unable to make decisions on many issues. And she’s telling people to remain hopeful? Democrats have no leader, no message and no money. She should be directing her hope comments to her party.

Blanche, do you know Canada’s national anthem by heart? Well, you will have to learn another version because Justin Trudeau has made our anthem gender neutral.

Instead of singing ‘in all our sons’ command, we will now be singing ‘in all of us command’. It doesn’t even make sense. There’s nothing to say except that Trudeau is very busy with everything except what he needs to be doing – governing the country.

Halftime during the super bowl is also called the big flush. That’s when everybody in North America goes to the bathroom. It’s also when millions tune to watch the halftime show.

So this year, Justin Timberlake is performing. Fifteen years ago he also performed together with Janet Jackson. Remember her ‘wardrobe malfunction’ aka nipplegate? Blanche, seriously you are dizguzting.

So the bet is will Timberlake call her back and if so, will she have a wardrobe malfunction for old times sake. We will all know on Sunday night.

Francois Legault is the head of the infamous CAQ. If an election were held in Quebec today, polls show he would win a majority. The problem is he’s an ex-separatist. The question is will people trust him once they get in the polling booth?

The answer is yes if Couillard gets rid of his pit bull in the guise of health minister Barrette. What does Barrette have on Couillard that he won’t dump him?

Michael Wolff is the author of the error-filled book “Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House. This morning he was a guest on Morning Joe.

He was called out by Mika Brzezinski for claiming in his book that he knew that Trump was having an affair but could not responsibly say with whom. Instead, Wolff coyly pointed viewers to a passage located somewhere at “the end of the book” that would single out Trump’s mistress. That someone at the end of the book turned out to be Nikki Haley.

Brzezinski kept pushing Wolff, saying that while he was having fun with a guessing game, he was playing with lives. Wolff would not back down. Brzezinski told him that on Morning Joe there’s no bs. While we don’t always agree with their stance, there really is little bs there. Wolff’s interview was abruptly ended after being severely reprimanded.

Brzezinski is correct. To suggest that someone is having an affair, obviously for financial gain, with nothing to back it up is dead wrong.

Take a Safe Vacation and Come Home in a Seat Rather Than the Cargo Section

There were a few people who were not happy with our last post, when we called out Oprah Winfrey for looking like the saviour for all the little girls when she gave her speech at the Golden Globe awards. As with many liberals, when they don’t like what is said, they take their toys and go home. One such person unsubscribed from this blog.

Sorry to say Oprah’s speech reminded us way, way to much of Hillary Clinton’s concession speech…And to all of the little girls who are watching this, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams.

We will remind everyone how Hilary destroyed the women in who were brave enough to come forward after her darling husband Bill couldn’t keep his pants on. Monica Lewinsky’s life was ruined because of Hillary.

Our intent was to explain that Oprah is obviously a mentor to many women.  It cannot be, that over the many years of Weinstein’s abuse, not one young woman came to her with some kind of tale about Weinstein. That she stood on stage and preached to little girls to have hope…sorry, she dropped the ball somewhere along the way. (We invite everyone to check out James Woods who posted three pictures of Oprah with Harvey Weinstein. This is a case where a picture is truly worth a thousand words.)

There is  no doubt that Winfrey is a self-made person. She came from extreme poverty and abuse to rise to the heights of stardom and wealth. No one can, nor should take anything away from her tenacity and strength. What stinks here is the forum, timing and kind of speech she made. Now? After all those women came forward?

Lest some people forget, we will remind you that she’s an actress who won an academy award and as such, is able to give the kind of emotional speech she did. Running for president is something she does not need, nor probably does not want in her life.

Perhaps she would do well to start an organization to help not only the women who were abused, but  help those who knew and cowardly didn’t have the guts to stop the abusers.

We are sure that by now everyone has heard about how Trudeau and his group of left of left liberals are totally screwing up the NAFTA talks. Our foreign affairs minister, Chyrystia Freeland didn’t go into those negotiations with much hope. “We tried our best and prepared for the worst.” That instills confidence. Not.

So what’s the problem? Bleeding heart liberals my dear. Trudeau insisted on injecting social issues into the mix: climate change, gender equity, LGBTQ issues, indigenous issues.

Can we talk? Trudeau is again, way, way over his head. When going into negotiations, you better know your opponent. Trump is a pragmatic businessman. For sure he’s not interested in climate change which is a pile of you-know-what. LGBTQ issues? He’s looking for jobs for Americans. He’s not interested talking about cushy, feel-good things.

Trudeau should stick to buying fancy socks and taking selfies and leave the real stuff to people who can handle it, of which there are precious few in this government.

Megyn Kelly is one of those blonde talking heads – a political pundit, or so she would like to be thought of. Unfortunately it appears that she has air between her ears.

It seems that while in university she was gaining weight, a fate, to her, worse than death. In order to stay rake-thin, she had her step-father fat-shame her. Can we talk?

Is this the be-all and end-all? Is this what women want to be remembered for? That she stayed skinny, had blonde hair and wore tight clothes on television?

All of this came to light when she interviewed another genius, an uber-fit mother who posted a picture of herself online with the caption “What’s your excuse?” Kelly should be looking for another line of work if that’s all she can deal with on her show. At some point, people need substance.

Valerie Plante’s honeymoon is over with Montrealers. That was quick, eh Blanche? After promising not to raise taxes more than the inflation rate, she raised taxes more than the inflation rate. Why are people surprised?

People will sell their mother to win an election. She didn’t sell her mother or children, but promised the sun, moon and stars. Unfortunately, she can’t deliver.

Her arrogant comment didn’t help her situation either: “It’s hard for citizens to look at the big picture because it’s a lot of numbers.” You’re kidding, right?

It appears that something in the chair Denis Coderre sat on has seeped into Plante’s body. That, or she’s sitting on her brain and that’s why she’s sounding like Coderre.

Here’s a travel tip: Stay away from Mexico. It’s not safe. In fact it’s a very dangerous place. There’s a reason it’s cheap. Shall we elaborate?

At least two Mexican resorts — Ixtapa-Zihuatanejo (home of club med) and Acapulco — are in a do-not-travel state. Last year, the State Department extended a total ban on personal travel by U.S. government personnel there.

Spend a bit more money and go somewhere else. At least you’ll come home in a seat rather than in the cargo section.

Good Shabbos
We’ll talk…

Pin-Heads for Brains in Quebec’s Health Ministry

Unless you have been living on Mars today, you no doubt know that Trump is phasing out the DACA or dreamer program. Here are the facts:

What is Daca? It is an acronym for Deferred Action for Child Arrivals. It is a federal government program created in 2012 under Obama to allow people brought to the US illegally as children the temporary right to live, study and work legally in America. Those applying are vetted for any criminal history or threat to national security and must be students or have completed school or military service. If they pass vetting, action to deport them is deferred for two years, with a chance to renew, and they become eligible for basics like a driving license, college enrollment or a work permit.

Who are the ‘Dreamers’? Those protected under Daca are known as “Dreamers” and 787,580 have been granted approval. To apply, they must have been younger than 31 on June 15,  2012 when the program began, and “undocumented”, lacking legal immigration status. They must have arrived in the US before turning 16 and lived there continuously since June 2007.

What happened today? Trump announced he will begin “an orderly, lawful wind down” of Daca, including “the cancellation of the memo that authorized this program”, which was a memo from homeland security secretary Janet Napolitano to immigration chiefs in 2012 telling them not to enforce deportation of Dreamers.

This is a complicated issue. While Trump looks like the bad guy here, in fact, Obama’s administration had the most deportations of any in history.

As well, Obama signed this Daca business as a presidential executive order. It was never passed by anyone. To add to this fray are the ‘sanctuary’ cities. Will the Daca people, who range in age from 15 to 36 years old run to those cities? New York, Los Angeles, Houston etc.

The other legacy Obama left those Daca people was that he encouraged them to give over all their information to the authorities, which they did because they trusted him. Now the authorities know where everyone is, even though many of them tried to live under the radar.

To add to all this misery, illegal immigrant’s homes were heavily damaged in hurricane Harvey and they are not eligible for any government help.

Trump inherited two major issues given to him by Obama: immigration and North Korea. Obama’s legacy went the way of Hillary. His book should also be called What Happened (that’s the title of Hillary’s book). What happened? The democrats had no voice, no plan, no future and no connection with the little people. There ya go and we don’t have to pay $3,000 a ticket to sit in the front row to hear Hillary blame everyone but herself for the fact that she lost.

Yet another nail in the coffin for the Liberal party in Quebec. The budget cuts done by Barrette have caused physical consequences. A nurse on the nightshift was almost strangled to death by a mentally ill patient. Due to said budget cuts, there are no security guards on duty at night. That is insanity.

We were once in the emergency when a patient went ballistic, grabbing a cane and trying to hit someone. In two seconds there were security guards present to stop this dude and subdue him.

What is totally infuriating is Quebec’s allegation that it has a huge surplus in its coffers. Get a life. That is not a surplus and everybody knows it. That extra money is a direct result of all the budget cuts done to the medical system.

Here’s a tip for Couillard: People down south voted to oust the pork-barrel establishment. He’s heading for the same fate. Only difference here is that our choices are even worse than in the US: Lisee who is an avowed separatist and Legault who is a secret separatist. Take your pick folks.

Finally, the truth is starting to come out publicly in Houston. The NAHB (National Association of Home Builders) is a very strong lobby group. They boasted recently how they managed to stop any upcoming 2018 building codes they didn’t like. Oh really?

There are some people in that group who have found their voice and courage. According to one such member, their motto is: We’ll rebuild these houses as many times as you’ll pay us to do it.

Someone from the insurance board said – We can’t prevent the event, but we can mitigate the damage. That sentence is only true if there are building codes, which there are not many in Texas.

If people living in known flood zones and covered wetlands had to pay the full cost of that risk, much of those areas would empty out. And who would they pay? The government would create an insurance policy. If you want to live in such an area, then they would pay up front for the damage that occurs when there is a flood or hurricane – which is a given.

Houston has to decide now what to do with all those homeless people. Rebuild in the same area and flood again in two years? Move people to more sensible areas? And who is going to pay for all of this? How much money is each family without insurance getting? They have to start all over again – housing, clothing, furniture, cars etc.

Guess who’s one of the happiest people on the planet? Prince Harry. With the third pregnancy of his sister-in-law Kate, he moves one step further away from ever becoming King of England. He gets the money, some of the engagements but none of the responsibility. How good is that Blanche?

Yet another pea-brain edict from the Quebec government. Blanche, we are beginning to think that a pea is too big to describe the size of the brains of french canadian bureaucrats. Could be they are the size of a pinhead.

The latest genius move is that if a child has lice in a classroom they can come to school and not tell anyone. Only until 10% of the class has it will the rest of the parents be told. Why you ask? Because it will ‘hurt the self-esteem’ of the child.

We have no words. Lice jump from head to head. That’s a fact. If a school waits until 10% of a classroom has lice, the entire school will be infested.

Here’s an idea. Send Barrette into a classroom where a kid has lice. Let him sit beside that kid for a day and watch what happens when a louse to jump onto his genius head. The only term for those people in the health ministry is ignoramuses.

We’ll talk…

Blanche’s Blooper…

We blooped, goofed and erred. In fact, Melania did start out with six inch stiletto heels en route to Texas, but got off Air Force One in white sneakers and a change of clothing. Blanche, putting on your ‘big boy pants’ and admitting you made a mistake makes you human.  Phew.

We’ll talk tomorrow…

G-d Should Have Mercy on Those in Houston…

Isn’t it interesting how things we thought we so important in our lives become totally insignificant in the face of tragedy or disasters like the one in Houston? Sitting in the comfort of our homes here, it is beyond our comprehension to fathom what those people are going through. What is even harder to grasp is that this catastrophe seems to be never-ending. It just keeps raining and raining and raining and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

As well, there are no borders as to who’s home or business is completely destroyed. Rich and poor, black and white, immigrants, illegal aliens and residents – everyone is, pardon the expression, in the same boat. What is also unbelievable is that everyone is saving everyone else. No one is asking where someone came from before plucking them from their roof or car that’s almost completely submerged under water.

Goes to show how silly and meaningless some of our issues are. Especially when it comes to our leaders.

We have friends in Houston who told us that entire Jewish communities were wiped out. Not low cost housing – rather beautiful homes are entirely under water. If you want to help out, here’s one place that needs everything from toothbrushes to socks and diapers to food: http://www.chabadhouston.com/relief. G-d should have mercy on everyone there.

Quebec’s poster boy company, Bombardier is in dire need of someone who is able to make sure orders are met at the scheduled time. Right now, orders are often delayed by as much as two years as in the case of failing to fulfill a much smaller order for the New York rail system. Because of this, Bombardier lost a lucrative contract when the New York transit authority said that it can forget about bidding on a $3-billion-dollar contract to supply subway cars.

It appears that Bombardier could use some new management, eh Blanche? Wait, now’s the time to call in Morris the accountant and his friend Irving from management. Let’s just say these guys don’t sit on their brains, they actually use them.

We hope that Andrew Scheer and the conservative party will get in the game when it comes to sticking it to Trudeau and the liberal party for giving Omar Khadir $10 million and then some to make him go away.

It appears that Omar’s sister is a radical islamist as is most of his family. How radical is she? At the second of her four weddings, among the guests was osama bin laden.

While her brother says he has nothing to do with his family, we wonder how he could be de-radicalized after spending so much time in Guantanomo. We are pretty sure that there was no shrink there to de-program him.

Trudeau is a neophyte and sneaky dude. Khadir should have been happy to have his freedom and be allowed to live in Canada. We hope the conservative party puts out huge billboards with four words: Omar Khadir $10 million. It would be a constant reminder of just what kind of liberal government we are dealing with.

Nothing Trump does is right for those who don’t like him. If he went to Texas now it’s too soon. If he didn’t go he’s heartless. He wisely chose to go today but stayed far away from Houston.

We do have a comment on Melania’s attire. She was going to a couple of cities ravaged by a hurricane, tornadoes and torrential rain. Did she need to wear six inch spike heels? Could she not have put on a pair of flat shoes?

It’s not that she didn’t look good. It’s that she looked like she was going shopping in Saks when in fact she was going to see people who either don’t have a roof over their heads or are wearing someone else’s clothing because they have none. A bit insensitive. We are guessing she’s also learning on the job.

As for blaming climate change on hurricane Harvey…think again. In Houston they had miles and miles of wetlands. While wetlands cannot prevent flooding, they do lower flood peaks by temporarily holding water and by slowing the water’s velocity. Wetland soil acts as a sponge, holding much more water than other soil types.

In Houston, developers paved over much of the wetland and built homes there. That meant that when it rained, the water had no where to drain.

Harris county, where much of the flooding is now occurring has a history of this. A major flood still occurs somewhere in Harris County about every two years. Most of the flooding is in areas developed prior to the current understanding of flood potential and prior to regulations restricting construction in flood-prone areas.

This of course does not lessen the impact on those affected right now, nor could any place withstand 50 inches of rain and counting. Nonetheless, one wonders if things would not have been so drastically tragic had building regulations been in place decades ago.

Now if you hear Al Gore go on and on about climate change while flying all over the world in his private jet, turn off the television Blanche. He’s made a massive fortune talking out of two sides of his mouth. Feh.

Kim Jong Un needs a big smack. Not only from Trump but from the world.

We don’t care if you like or don’t like Trump. In the case of North Korea Trump is right on. He will not take on the regime alone nor should he. Every country in the world is threatened by that nutcase and every country in the world has to band together and get rid of him.

We are not army generals so we don’t know how to go about doing this. Perhaps blowing up his nuclear reactors would be a start. Whatever they do, they gotta hold hands, have a kumbaya moment and do it together.

We’ll talk…

Montreal’s Mayor Coderre King of Hosing His Citizens

Last week we correctly predicted that Steve Bannon would be gone from the White House by the end of the weekend. He was gone Friday afternoon.

We are venturing another prediction. Truthfully, we can’t believe no one has yet said this as it’s pretty obvious. We think that the naysayers are just hoping that Trump will continue to provide them daily fodder for their shows.

Last night Trump spoke to the nation ostensibly about Afghanistan but he touched on many subjects. He made more sense than Obama ever did about foreign policy. Obama may have been a good orator, but his words were empty and he was impotent.

Now here’s the prediction: With Bannon now gone and Trump surrounded by generals and other military people, he will stop all the negative and inflammatory rhetoric. Bannon was bad news, anti-establishment and bent on stirring as many pots as he could find. That’s fine for an editor but not for the president in the White House.

We can hear people asking so why did Trump pick him in the first place? The only answer we can come up with is that Bannon was one of the ones who helped get him elected. He was going into a new job, in a new place with new people all around him. He needed familiarity and Bannon offered that. In the end however, Bannon out-manouevered himself. Time will tell if we are correct.

Blanche never switched over to gmail or anything to do with google. We never liked the configuration.  What we are going to tell you now about google only applies to those with Android phones. iPhones were not affected.

First the bad news: Google is secretly listening to your conversations. It works like this: If you own an Android phone, it’s likely that you’ve used Google’s Assistant, which is similar to Apple’s Siri. When you utter the words OK Google, or, as some say, just ok, you activate their listening device.

Once Google is done recording, it uploads the audio files to its computer servers – often dubbed “the cloud”. These files are accessible from absolutely anywhere in the world – as long as you have an internet connection.

That means any device that is signed into your personal Gmail or Google account can access the library of your deepest, darkest secrets.

Google claims that it states on its terms and conditions that it keeps these recordings for “improving speech recognition against all Google products that use your voice”. Spare us.

Now for the good news: Here’s how to see what they have on you:

First, you’ll need to be signed into your Gmail or Google account. Click on “Activity Controls “on the left-hand side of the page. Once you’ve done that, type “history.google.com/history” into your web browser.Under “Web and App Activity”, click “Manage Activity”.You’ll be taken to a hub which contains your entire digital footprint, so be careful, it could make for some grim reading.If Google’s keeping tabs on you, there should be a stream of web pages and map searches that show up in chronological order.You can randomly delete searches, or select all the searches to make them disappear.

Don’t say Blanche doesn’t take care of her readers.

Now for a travel advisory:The U.S. State Department warned its citizens about traveling to parts of Mexico including Cancun and Playa del Carmen, as homicides rise at resorts popular with American tourists.

The advisory issued on Tuesday upgraded the warnings for two states, Quintana Roo and Baja California Sur, saying turf wars between crime gangs have led to a surge in violence.

If you have some extra money put aside, we have a good place to spend it. The iconic Plaza Hotel in Manhattan on Fifth Avenue is for sale.

While it is unclear how much a buyer would pay, hotel investors and brokers suggest it could be one of the most expensive hotel sales on a per-room basis, a popular industry metric. By that method of valuation it could bring in more than $500 million. Bada bing bada boom.

Remember Mayor Drapeau’s classic line in 1967 that the Olympics can no more run a deficit than a man can have a baby? Well, Coderre is not far behind him.

Reporters are trying, in vain, to find out the cost of the Formula E race that took place in Montreal recently. They are getting the royal runaround.

When the opposition parties asked Coderre for an accounting they received the following answer: no financial data or ticket sale numbers were available. Blanche, how can that possibly be? Nobody can find a few invoices and add them up? Oh wait. Nobody wants to find those invoices. That makes much more sense.

Mayor Coderre said the final tally would be made public once Montreal, c’est électrique (race organizers) and the city’s auditor-general completed their reports, neither of which are expected to be released before the next municipal election on November 5, 2017.

Let’s bet the numbers won’t be available then nor until the next election. Let’s also bet that the total amount is more than double the anticipated close to $40 million.

And speaking of Coderre and his spending spree…We went to take a look at the $40 million lights on the Jacques Cartier bridge. We got totally hosed.

There’s no way those lights were $40. Most likely they cost $10 million (or less from the looks of them) and the balance of $30 million is being pocketed by bureaucrats who think they will never get caught. Here’s a headline: Everybody who has their hand in the till gets caught sooner or later.

We watched the lunar eclipse yesterday on the internet. While some people poo-poo’d the whole thing, we thought it both spiritual and a physical example of the beauty of G-d’s world.

One of the reasons that it was such a big deal is that the last time this happened, ninety-nine years ago, it was basically not recorded. Whoever saw it, saw it, while others who had no clue what was flying were most likely frightened to death. Imagine, the moon blocking the sun in the middle of the day?

The secret service is running out of money protecting Trump and his large family. While we understand that because Trump moves around so much the costs are increased, what we don’t understand is this: Nobody saw that he has a big family with married children and grandchildren who all need protection? This is now coming as a huge surprise? Seriously.

The secret service needs to be allotted more money without having to ask for it or, even worse, grovel. Get a grip down there.

We’ll talk…

Fairy Tale Eggplants

So the ‘refugees’ coming to Montreal are from Haiti, correct Blanche? Not quite my dear. Given the front page photo of today’s newspaper, as we said last week, word got out that to get into Canada all you have to do is walk across a small ditch and poof! you’re in.

The three dudes in today’s paper, from Turkey, did just that. One is seen on his phone, most likely calling all his relatives. What’s he telling them? Get yourself to the United States on a visitor visa and then take a bus to Plattsburgh or some small town closer to the border. Take your bags and cross the border into Canada. You’ll get free everything – shelter, medical attention, housing – you name it.

These Turkish dudes however, were not impressed with their accommodations at the Big O and left. To go where you ask? Why to live with friends. The problem with that is that they have not been vetted yet and could easily disappear somewhere in Canada.

Now what about those who are going through the system and waiting years for their family to get here? Our suggestion is that they give the same instructions as above and forget about the paperwork.

Where is Trudeau in all of this? Not to be found. He’s a bleeding heart liberal who believes that every person coming in here is nice and kind and wonderful. They thought the same thing in France, Great Britain, Brussels – shall we go on? Now look where they are.

We will be living with Trudeau’s pathetic legacy way after he’s gone. And you can bet your bippy that he won’t be living anywhere near the ‘refugees’.

Last night we decided to watch a CNN special entitled Why Trump Won. Everyone calm down. We don’t get our news from CNN. We did want to see what they were going to do with that title.

First of all, as a documentary, it was awful. Poorly done, choppy and openly anti-Trump. They made his hair look a sick blonde color and gave him very little credit for his win. Nor did they say that their candidate, Hillary, was the worst presidential candidate ever to run for the job.

Not only was she fighting scandals throughout her campaign, she came across as she truly is – phoney and dishonest. Hey, we didn’t dredge up this old news, CNN did that for everyone. It was a really shallow, low-class production and it’s no wonder they are doing poorly in the ratings. They best change their focus from trying every way possible to get Trump impeached, to actually reporting some news in the world.

Looks like Trump is playing hardball with Kim Jung Un and North Korea. He demanded North Korea not make any more threats to the U.S., saying the U.S. would respond “with fire and fury like the world has never seen.”

We are thinking  this could be the first time that the US has openly challenged that nutcase of a dictator. Certainly not that woose of a president Obama, who was afraid of his shadow (except on a golf course) and never confronted anyone.

We are guessing that Kim Jong will back down somehow while saving face, as the fury of the United States will most likely come with other countries joining in. Everyone has had about enough of that dude.

Guess who’s coming to Quebec? Hillary, Bill, Chelsea and the grandchildren. Yes Blanche, they are coming here for a vacation staying in Hovey Manor located in North Hatley which by the way is an English speaking enclave.

For the Clintons this hotel is a serious bargain as the cost is about $660 Canadian which is about $520 a night for them. Pocket change. We will not be going anywhere near North Hatley to secure an autograph. We’re not sure it would be of any value. Ouch.

On August 21 (that’s soon Blanche) there will be a solar eclipse, the first since 1918. 

So what exactly is an eclipse?

It is the alignment of the Earth, the Moon, and the Sun. Around every 18 months or so, the Moon passes directly between the Earth and the Sun on its orbit around our planet. It’s a relatively rare occurrence because the Moon doesn’t orbit in the same plane as the Earth and Sun. But when the three bodies line up just right, the Moon covers up the disc of the Sun, and those in the direct path of the Moon’s shadow — called the path of totality — will see the Sun go dark.

You may be saying wait a minute, the sun is bigger than the moon. True the Sun is roughly 400 times the size of the Moon, but the Moon is 400 times closer to Earth. So they appear about the same size in the sky.

So what’s the big deal? Not all eclipses are the same: sometimes the Sun is totally covered, called a total solar eclipse, and other times the Moon only partially covers the Sun, which is a partial eclipse. This month’s upcoming eclipse is a total solar eclipse, so the Sun will be completely covered.

As it is not going to be directly over our heads, looking at it is not that dangerous. People much closer (it’s cutting through the middle of the United States from the West to East coast) will be needing special solar filter sunglasses. Given that, it’s still not ideal to stare right at it. Given our summer however, it could very well be a cloudy day in which case we will have no issues.

Here’s something scary for baby-boomers. Dustin Hoffman is turning 80. Seriously? Where’s Mrs. Robinson when you need her?

Ever hear of Blue Apron? It’s one of the biggest online food ordering businesses. It works like this: You choose the meals you want and they send all the ingredients to you in a pretty box and you get to cook them at home. So you’re making a fresh meal but don’t have the hassle of going shopping.

The main pro of this deal is that one has enforced portion control. If you say you are ordering for two people, you will get enough to feed said two people. Of course you could always pay extra, say you are three and have bigger portions.

We checked out the menus. Here’s a sample of what you get in your little box for the Fairy Tale Eggplant and Mozzarella pizza: 1 lb Pizza Dough, ½ lb Fresh Mozzarella Cheese, 2 cloves Garlic, 1 Summer Squash, ½ lb Fairy Tale Eggplants, 1 bunch Basil, 2 Tbsps Red Wine Vinegar, 2 Tbsps Tomato Paste, 1½ Tbsps Dried Currants, 1 Tbsp Capers, 2 Tbsps Grated Parmesan Cheese, 6 oz Cherry Tomatoes all for $9.99 per person plus tax which brings the total to about $24.00. Interesting concept which has become insanely popular. Go know.

And one more thing. Who ever heard of fairy tale eggplants?

We’ll talk…

Welcome to Port-au-Prince aka The Big O

Well, our first choice was blowing up the Big O. Seems the city had other plans for the eyesore in the east end and they are now using it as a shelter for ‘refugees’.

First the numbers: 150 refugees a day are crossing the border costing taxpayers $1.5 million per day.

Now the unfair part: People who have applied through the system can wait years to get in. These people are crossing the border somewhere in a field, being taken in as refugees and then poof! go to a shelter, get processed, get a medicare card and social services. To be fair they are being somewhat vetted before being allowed to move from the border, but Blanche, we simply cannot believe that every one of those people are upstanding citizens, if you get the drift.

Now for the question: Exactly how many of these ‘refugees’ is Canada going to let in? Once the word gets out that it’s a breeze to get into Canada we won’t only have Haitians who are afraid Trump will deport them. We will have every nationality known to man crossing the border.

Now for who cares part: Nobody else in Canada it seems as there’s not a word about this in the National Post. We checked twice thinking we may have missed the article but no, it ain’t there. Ya know why? Because the ROC – rest of Canada is jumping for joy that they are coming here to Quebec. To be fair, Manitoba did have an influx, but Blanche, who wants to live in Winnipeg aka winterpeg? Plus Montreal is French speaking and Haitians speak French-ish.

We are not intending to sound racist at all, perish the thought, but did you ever get into a taxi with a Haitian driver? Did you understand one word he said? But we digress.

Let’s see what Justin the liberal save-the-world prime minister is going to do with this. It will be interesting. We’re thinking that he doesn’t care cause they are not coming to his four cubits in Ottawa.

There is no doubt that those in the office de la langue francais are having a nervous breakdown. After all these years, after all their letter-measuring, after all their harassing of store owners, those speaking English is on the rise in Quebec. What are you saying Blanche? Zut alors!

According to the census, the growth rate for mother-tongue English speakers (now that’s a mouthful, eh?) has tripled in the last few years. The pea-brain missives working as bureaucrats in Quebec best be happy they aren’t working for Trump because if he saw these numbers after all those years of harassing the English community he would tell them two words: You’re fired.

The most startling of all numbers in this census was the following: In Montreal, Arabic is the top language spoken by immigrant families at home. In both Toronto and Vancouver it is Mandarin. Lest you think this is not so, think again. We went to the old port this past Sunday night and felt like we were walking in Beirut. Nothing more to say here.

So Blanche, what do you think of Caroline Mulroney getting into politics? Well, for starters she looks perfect for the part. Tall, thin, good hair and relatively good-looking. Not to sound catty, but her mother is a bit more feminine. She got more of her father’s square face. Oh well, ya can’t have it all.

Watch for her meteoric rise if she wins the nomination for York-Simcoe. She obviously waited until her children were a bit older to make this move and kudos to her. She has her priorities in order. We hope she wins.

Phil finally retired. We are of course, referring to Prince Philip who made his final solo public appearance this week. He’s had quite the run as he’s 96 years old and has been going at this for over 60 years. He’s a bit of a buffoon and now no one will be able to hear the pearls that he drops every so often. Oh well…

Good Shabbos,
We’ll talk…

Happy Trails to You…

Justin Trudeau seems to be the hottest leader of any country. How hot Blanche? So hot that he’s on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. Not bad except for the headline: Why Can’t He Be Our President? Uh oh.

Fox News got a hold of those few words and basically made minced meat out of Trudeau. One of their political pundits brought up Ottawa’s $10.5-million settlement to Omar Khadr, calling Trudeau “horrible” over his defence of the payout. She then called the statement the prime minister delivered earlier this month about the settlement money “embarrassing” and “stupid. Notice Blanche it was a she, not a he. Guess the hair and sculpted body didn’t get to her.

Unfortunately for Trudeau, his cover story was compared to two other, not very illustrious covers: Putting Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on its cover in 2013 and the magazine’s botched and untrue campus rape story at the University of Virginia. We are guessing that Trudeau didn’t do to much thinking about whether to be put on the cover. In fact, he most likely thought that he looked very good and was happy with the cover – kind of like the ultimate selfie. Feh.

While Trump and company – Scaramucci and Priebus – fight it out in the White House for power, Iran and North Korea are slowly but surely getting closer to doing some major damage to the world.

Here’s what we hope is really going on and frankly, we better be right: While the soap opera in the White House is going on, in the background, there are those who are doing their job and trying to stop the nutball leaders of both of those countries.

If that’s not the case, we are in serious trouble and everyone best start hoarding water, long-lasting food and cash.

Anthony Scaramucci (Blanche, isn’t that a great Italian name?), is incensed with the leaks coming out of the White House and has threatened to fire everyone in the communications office unless the leaker is outed, confesses or stops leaking which doesn’t seem likely.

Seems last night there was a dinner party at the White House. Present were President Trump, the First Lady, Sean Hannity, and the former Fox News executive Bill Shine. Someone from inside called a reporter from the New Yorker and leaked this juicy tidbit of news.

Scaramucci is right. Imagine if everything you did in your office was leaked out to friends, colleagues and those who want to do you in. You would be crazed and want to find out exactly who the weasel was. Scaramucci will get to the bottom of the leaks or he will indeed fire everyone, including Reince Priebus, chief of staff who he thinks is the mole.

This is really juicy, eh Blanche?

If you are traveling anytime soon, we’re going to do two favours for you. First we’re listing the top five and bottom five airports in the world. Then we’re going to tell you which days are best to buy your airline tickets. No – it’s not Tuesday at midnight. That’s old news.

The five best airports are: Singapore Changi Airport, Munich International Airport, Hong Kong International Airport, Copenhagen Kastrup Airport, Helsinki: Vantaa Airport.

The five worst airports are: Kuwait Airport, London Gatwick Airport, Manchester Airport, Newark Liberty International Airport, London Stanstead Airport. Uh oh – it looks like England is really in the doghouse with their airports.

Airlines are now updating their computers every night, based on more sophisticated traffic models. So what does this mean?

It means you have to have two best time approaches: One, about 45 days out from your desired departure date, and another window about ten days out—on a Sunday. That’s when the most unsold inventory surfaces.

And finally, you can’t do this online. You have to pick up a phone and call the airline.

Hold onto your hat Blanche, the e-race is this weekend. At least you don’t need earplugs. Seems the only thing you hear is the changing of the gears and the squealing of the tires.

Don’t bother taking your car anywhere near the east end of the city for the next while. It will be blocked up this weekend and two weeks after because that’s how long it will take the city to clear up the fences, cones, dirt etc.

Can we talk? You know the huge party every  New Years’s eve in Times Square? The one with over a million people. Well, guess how long it takes them to clean up? Overnight. You know why? Because they have a plan and hire people to execute said plan.

They have garbage trucks leading rows and rows of people picking up garbage. We wonder what plan Coderre formulated to get rid of the debris and all things needed for the race. Let’s see – no plan.

Now ask the most important question: Why is this race in Montreal at all? Well,Coderre convinced those in charge that Montreal wants to promote its status as a hub for transport electrification.

Who exactly is he kidding? Transport electrification? How about putting air conditioning in the subway? Coderre has one thing going for him: he can sell anyone anything and he does. Problem is, everyone else pays for his extravaganzas. That everyone else is you and me.

One more traveling tip: The news TSA screening for electronic devices has started. That means removing tablets, e-readers and any other larger-format electronics from bags you plan to carry on to flights. All this equipment now has to go through the x-ray machine in their own bins. We also heard that large plugs and extension cords qualify for special attention.

Only those pre-approved by the TSA with a Nexus card will not have to do this. We can imagine that the lines are going to be seriously long and interminable.

Happy trails to you…

Good Shabbos
We’ll talk…