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The word that Mayor Valerie Plante has rediscovered is reality. Yes ladies and gentleman, she finally looked out her window and reality set in – there’s no one downtown. Good morning your honor. 

She’s also finding out that we are not biking downtown, putting our purchases in a basket  and biking home. Nope. People are simply staying away. She won. No cars, no people.

She sent out a plea a couple of days ago when she woke up to the reality that guess what? The streets are empty. Clearly she has not been out for a while, nor does she seem to read the papers. Does she not know that people are not going back into their office buildings that are a) surrounded by construction sites, b) because no one has determined how to get 4000 people into a building social distancing in an elevator and c) the parking situation is impossible.

So now she has plenty of cyclists saving the trees and whales, whizzing by stores without stopping to buy anything. Sadly, there’s no one home in the mayors office.  Someone please go and buy her a whistle so she can keep her cyclists in a line in the bicycle lanes.

Justin Trudeau has ‘paskened’ which in Yiddish means he has made a ruling, that Canada’s Governor General Julie Payette is fine. According to our bearded prime minister, ‘We have an excellent governor general right now…’. Really?

What about the workplace harassment charges as well as reports of her having incurred a variety of extraordinary costs since she was named governor general in October 2017? She’s now lilly white? Those who have had to work with her and bare the brunt of her bullying are to be ignored?

There is an ongoing investigation into her behavior and Justin thinks that now is the time to say what an excellent job she has been doing? Wait. Maybe no one told him about the investigation.

Perhaps he needs a bit more convincing.  Aside from her behavior, hundreds of thousands of dollars have been spent to try to satisfy Gov. Gen. Julie Payette’s need for privacy at Rideau Hall, but she still hasn’t moved into her official residence almost three years into her five-year mandate.

And if he’s still not convinced, someone give him this to read: At her behest, $140,000 was spent studying and designing a private staircase that was never built, and more than $117,500 on a gate and series of doors to keep people away from Payette’s office. Need we say more?

As we have been saying, Justin has surrounded himself with entitled people who view our money as their money. Clearly she comes from the ‘I deserve this’ club, of which Justin is founder and president.

We always wondered how Nancy Pelosi never had a hair out of place. No doubt she uses cans of hard to hold hairspray,  but she was caught in a hair salon – perish the thought – without a mask. Can we talk?

While we sincerely don’t like Madam Pelosi, people need to get a grip. She was the only one in the hair salon. She wasn’t singing or speaking moistly (as per Justin). She’s not giving anyone covid nor is she contracting it. She’s getting her hair done and moving on.

But wait. Instead of staying quiet and let sleeping dogs lie, Pelosi the genius is saying that the salon set her up. Why on earth would they do that? What possible gain could be in it for them? We’ll tell you. None. She’s a fool.

It appears that pollsters and people reading polls did not learn from the previous US election. The last time we did this, Hillary was winning, winning, winning. This time it seems that Biden and Trump are virtually tied.

Here’s the heads up: We are guessing that probably 50% of people polled either straight out lie or just don’t say who they are voting for. Yes, polling keeps people in business but frankly it’s a total waste of time.

The other item to note is that Hillary Clinton was a very unlikeable person. Biden is likeable. While he’s clearly not the brightest chip in the box, he doesn’t give off that ‘I’m far superior to you’ edge that Hillary exuded. She dripped insincerity. He doesn’t.

Given that, people are holding their cards close to their chest. There’s just too much going on in the US right now for people to make a firm decision. And Blanche, don’t think you will know the answer on November 3, election day. Unless it’s a complete rout one way or the other, the counting of mail-in ballots could go on for days and days.

Planning a vacation anytime soon? Fuggedaboudit. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has a no-sail order in place for all United States based cruise lines through October. Does that mean the ships will now start to sail in November? Highly unlikely. Part of the CDC order requires cruise lines to submit comprehensive plans on redesigning their cleaning and disinfectant protocols, boarding procedures, shore excursions, floor plans of public areas on their ships and meal services.

As of yet, the CDC has not responded to those plans. There’s every reason to expect that no-sail order will be extended most likely through the end of 2020. Which is why you won’t see any prices for cruises before 2021.

Seems Prince Andrew went to speak to his mother – the Queen – about his involvement in the lurid Epstein scandal.

While things have been quiet recently, make sure to stand far away from the fan when things hit it. The spray will no doubt involve bonny Prince Andrew. While he probably won’t do time in jail aka cheder, his already sullied reputation will take another beating.

Blanche, we’re guessing you heard about the rural Quebekers who went to a karaoke bar, crammed into a tiny room singing moistly a la Justin and then many of them tested positive for covid-19. What did they do next? Of course go to another bar and infect other people. Blanche, are you thinking what we are thinking? Are these the same people who voted for Legault? You know, the ones who live in rural Quebec? Just saying.

Good Shabbos We’ll talk…

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