The Blanche Report: Disgusting People, Train Wrecks and Fat Thighs








So the charter was tabled today in the Quebec National assembly. The new title is so ridiculous it is not even worth repeating.

We found the day to be a tad on the depressing side until we heard the new mayor of Montreal, Denis Cordere speak. Instantly we perked up. He outright gave princess pauline the middle finger telling her that Montreal is defined by diversity – it will not be split by diversity. Without plainly saying it, he inferred that Montreal is the economic engine of Quebec and as long as he is mayor it will remain that way. She has met a force to be reckoned with. Let’s wait and see if she or her missives lob a missile back.

In the meantime, have you ever listened to or met such a nasty, vindictive, hate-spewing person as princess pauline? No one is fooled by her twisted words. Ich, ich, ich.

Mayor Rob Ford’s sideshow just keeps growing. Another video surfaced today showing him not three sheets to the wind – but 30 sheets. He was completely and totally inebriated, spewing expletives so fast that when the video is shown, (we did not watch it)  all one hears is beeping.

He obviously has issues far, far beyond drinking and substance abuse. There is no way that he can be running the city of Toronto in any normal fashion. Don’t you feel as though you are watching a train wreck happening before your eyes? The man needs to be hospitalized, never mind rehab.

Here’s how the Jewish World Review described Ford: …Rob Ford has an overeating problem and an alcohol problem and a cocaine problem, which in Canada is known as a hat trick. The Sochi olympics have finally made it to the news. Unfortunately the news was not great, no great surprise.

Luge teams at the Sochi Olympic track this week have been hit by electrical failures, disrupting their training and hotel living. USA Luge was in the middle of a training session Monday when power at the track was lost. Although it was a daytime session, power is still critical for timing and safety purposes.  Canadian coaches and athletes said they have been dealing with power and water interruptions as well, and have resorted to using candlelight in their hotels at night.

Today a three-man crew took the Olympic torch to the International Space Station on a Russian rocket on Thursday, ready to send it on its first space walk in a showcase for the 2014 Winter Games in Sochi. Unfortunately they were the butt of many jokes re lighting or not lighting the torch in space, what would happen if they did light it etc. So far, those games are looking like they could be the most expensive fiasco in more than a century.

Guess how old Prince Charles is? He’s turning 65. Imagine waiting 65 years for a job that you may never get? His mother, The Queen is still going strong at 87. As he’s turning pension age, he announced that he will be donating his pension to charity. Doink. Now that’s a no-brainer.

After reading this you will wish you had worked for Michael Bloomberg, New York’s ex mayor. His most-trusted NYPD bodyguards will hit the jackpot when he leaves office next year — retiring with cushy pensions and starting new, high-paying jobs for the billionaire media mogul. A source close to Bloomberg said he gives them plum jobs to keep their mouths shut. Nice, eh?

Most people have heard of Lululemon, the yoga athletic clothing company. While we are not a gigantic person, we are also not petite. Going into a lululemon store is something we avoid as their clothing is made only for thin people. When we sent an email to the company asking if they were planning to make some fuller sizes the response we received was basically tough luck. Ya don’t fit, don’t shop.

Well, they are now in the news again (last year for the mistaken see-through leggings) and just don’t seem to understand consumer relations. When questioned about pilling issues, the founder said that new problems of pilling and sheerness with the company’s yoga pants might be his customers’ fault. “Quite frankly some women’s bodies just actually don’t work for it. It’s really about the rubbing through the thighs, how much pressure is there.”

We will put it more bluntly: if your thighs are too fat the material will rub and then pill. They claim their yoga pants are not meant for running. We claim that their customers are going to get tired of their attitude. Their stock is down 9% from last year.

Notre Montreal will be launching soon. We will keep you posted and informed.

Good Shabbos,

We’ll talk…

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