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The Blanche Report: No Shortage of Morons Around

Ever use those Bixi bikes? You know the ones where you insert your credit card (and hope no one is cloning it), pick up a bike in one place and drop it off in another place? That’s the same company that refused to let anyone look at their books – ever.  There was speculation that they were losing gzillions of dollars. Zut alors. Whadda ya think happened?

They went bankrupt to the tune of $50 million of which we, the lowly taxpayer are on the hook for. Bixi owes Montreal $31.6 million on a $37 million loan.

The story gets complicated because the original company that created the software had an ugly split with company. The software company that took over couldn’t really do the job. In other words, the company is a mess and no one would fess up. Dizguzting, dizguzting. People’s heads should roll for this one.

Never mind going to the olympics in Sochi, maybe we shouldn’t even watch them. The terrorist threats are ratcheting up faster than faster.  The Russians are now searching for three very nasty female terrorists, one of whom is dubbed the black widow. ‘Somehow’ they got into Sochi and now the Russians are literally running scared as well as issuing warnings to all hotels to be on the lookout for these women.

Two things you should know: There will most probably be a ten second delay in what you see on television in case… And the US is deploying warships to the area in case they have to evacuate their entire olympic team. When is the line crossed here?

Rob Ford is back. We hope you are not surprised by this. Last night he was videoed in some kind of fast-food place where he had gone with some of his, shall we say, less savory friends. He was rather inebriated to say the least.  It seems that some people in said establishment were Jamaican and they taped talking with a Jamaican accent using words we can’t write here. When asked if he was drunk he replied, if I am it’s on my own time.

Can we talk? When you’re the mayor of a city, especially the biggest one in Canada, one of the things you give up when taking that public office is privacy. Life as you knew it is over till your term is over, no matter how stupid, gross or inappropriate you act. People will follow you till you move on. Next.

At long last there may be a light at the end of the tunnel the moronic charter. At the Charbonneau commission on corruption it came out today that princess pauline and her husband may be implicated in some hanky panky.

Former FTQ president Michel Arsenault is overheard on the wiretap saying he has a deal with “Blanchet,” a reference to Claude Blanchet, Marois’s husband, who previously ran the FTQ’s billion-dollar solidarity fund. Arsenault also said in the conversation he’ll “talk to Pauline” to make sure the PQ didn’t support holding a public inquiry that would focus on unions.

The princess is in Davos Switzerland at the world economic forum. She belongs there like we belong in a conference for rocket scientists. The woman has an ego the size of her old mansion.

And speaking of morons, we hope you had a look at the brilliant couple from somewhere in rural Quebec – yes the ones who are voting yes to the charter – spouting what can only be termed the most blatantly stupid comments we’ve ever heard.

These two geniuses went to Morocco on vacation. Before entering a mosque they were told to take off their shoes – a complete surprise to them. Upon entering the mosque they saw people, as they described, “on all fours like dogs, on carpets”.

Thankfully, their presentation to the drainville et al went viral and they are now claiming stupidity, as is their daughter who said her parents are not really that dumb. Yes Blanche, this is exactly who the princess is pandering to. We’re waiting for the next shoe to drop. A few more like them and that whole presentation business will come to a grinding halt.  Blanche is off to New York to spend a few days with about 2,000 other women, Chabad emissaries from all over the world, at the annual convention. But first we have to get there as New York is getting walloped with the mother-of-all-storms. Given this scenario, the report on Thursday may have to wait till Sunday night. Oy.

We’ll talk…

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