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The Blanche Report: What’s in your head; The Chicken & The Balloon Man

It’s been a long time since we read a really good ad. It was worth the wait. A hospital in Ontario put an ad online today, soon to be in the McGill university student paper. It’s a picture of a female doctor wearing a hijab with the following blurb: We don’t care what’s on your head. We care what’s in it. How brilliant is that?

They were of course referring to the nonsensical charter of values here in la belle province in which hijab and yarmulka wearing professionals in hospitals, schools, government offices etc would have to remove their head coverings so everyone is ‘the same’. Today the Jewish General Hospital came out with a statement that they will not conform to any such laws. Interesting that the first institution to come out with a statement was Jewish one.

They also pointed out that often physicians work in multiple hospitals. So in one place they might have to take off the yarmulka while in they could leave it on? And who exactly is going to make sure this happens? The religious police? Or will the language police be given more power? Or, will the princess herself appoint those little missives?

Not much else to say except it’s obvious that those in power here do not have much inside their little heads. What they do have is blinders – very large ones.

Anthony Weiner and Elliot Spitzer were mercifully defeated in the New York primaries on Tuesday. This was literally a case of other people saving those two from themselves. Especially Weiner. Not only was he shmaised, he was a bad loser. As his car was pulling away from a group of reporters, he flipped them the bird.

And are we the only ones who noted how thin he is? His neck looks like a chicken’s neck going to kapores.  Feh. Better he goes somewhere to fatten himself up, clean up the inside of his head, get a flip phone with no texting features and start looking online for a new career. Unless of course Hillary has something in mind for him. After all, Huma is still attached to her at the hip. Hey, wait a minute! Maybe he can work for Chelsea! She’s trying to get elected to the senate.

Sometimes it pays to just surf the web. Today United Airlines had some kind of glitch in their system and people were buying airline tickets for $5 and $10. Yes Blanche you read that correctly. Someone bought a ticket from Washington to Minneapolis-St. Paul for $7.50. Another person posted his ticket for $10 between Washington and Hawaii.

This went on for about an hour until poof! it was over. United’s reservation system slammed to a halt, reporting ‘ is currently undergoing maintenance. It seems that someone made a mistake – duh – entering the prices. United has not yet responded as to whether it will honor those tickets.

Imagine you are a waitress in an relatively upscale restaurant and one of the people you served gets inebriated. You watch him take his car keys out of his pocket and start to leave. You call out – wait! you can’t drive – you’ve had too much to drink. I will call a cab for you. Can one reason with someone who is three sheets to the wind? No. He continues to leave and the waitress says to herself – he’s going to kill someone, I must call the police which she does. What happens to her?

Does the gentleman call her the next day to thank her? Does the restaurant thank her? Neither of the two. She gets fired. And what does she do? She quietly writes what happened and posts it on facebook. Kaboom! It goes viral and now the restaurant is doing some major spin control. Irresponsible owners who should be taken to task big time. Some people just have nothing to do with their lives. A man by the name of Jonathan Trappe who specializes in cluster ballooning, wants to be the first person to cross the Atlantic using only helium balloons. He’s nervous about the weather. No kidding. On previous flights Trappe traveled on an office chair suspended by the balloons. On this trip, he is traveling inside a small yellow lifeboat. “If I touch down on water then the attempt will be over as it will be impossible to take off again, but the boat will keep me alive.” Get a life dude.

May we all be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life for a sweet, happy, healthy New Year. 

Easy fast.

We’ll talk…

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