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The Mystery of the Missing Kosher Cheese

Anyone see the official portraits of Michelle and Barak Obama unveiled yesterday? Uh, not to be  nasty, but those portraits were, shall we say, interesting at best.

He looks like he’s sitting in a bad wallpaper commercial.  She bears zero resemblance of herself. Seems that she was being depicted more for her clothing than her face. He was to be shown as a thinker. Oh, and one more thing. He has six fingers… Check it out. 

What happened to all the kosher cheese in Montreal and other Jewish communities across Canada? Seems all but one brand has disappeared from the shelves and that brand is basically inedible. It doesn’t even melt on your bread in the toaster oven. Isn’t that interesting Blanche?

With any luck and some pushing, this mystery will not only be solved quickly, but normal cheeses will return to the shelves. Lest anyone forget, the Jewish population does hold some sway in the electoral votes. Plus, what government wants a collusion scandal all over the front pages?

One would think Trudeau’s government has enough on it’s hands with his ‘peoplekind’ comment, where he’s being made a fool of all over the world. We doubt the Liberal government wants to find themselves on the front pages of the newspapers for not allowing kosher cheese to be sold due to some, shall we say, insider protectia, shortly to be the worst kept secret in Canada. Stay tuned to this story.

If this next news item is correct, yet another mystery will be solved. Keep reading this piece till the end to understand what’s flying here.

It seems that the stock market is being manipulated. On Monday, a whistleblower urged U.S. regulators to investigate VIX manipulation, claiming it has cost investors hundreds of millions of dollars in losses each month, according to a letter from a law firm representing the whistleblower.

Now in English: The CBOE (Chicago Board Options Exchange) Volatility Index, known by its ticker symbol VIX, is a popular measure of the stock market’s expectation of volatility implied by S&P 500 index options, calculated and published by the CBOE. Here’s the pertinent sentence: It is colloquially referred to as the fear index or the fear gauge.

Someone or some people are manipulating the fear factor causing people to lose gzillions of dollars.

Here’s the essence with an example: There’s a stock worth $500 one day and then $100 the next day because someone manipulated the market. That same person will buy tons of that stock at $100 and then manipulate the market again so that stock goes to $700 and then he will sell making a killing while others will lose their veritable shirt. Disgusting.

Montreal’s only free drug and alcohol detox centre has been forced to close a third of its beds after half its nurses quit en masse.

Out of 12 nurses at the Dollard-Cormier Centre on Prince Arthur St., six have quit, saying they couldn’t handle the stress and the double-overtime shifts.

Our illustrious health minister Gaetan Barrette says he will step in if needed, but adds he wants both sides to work things out for themselves. How about throwing some money their way? Or perhaps finding some of the nurses who left the province for this exact reason.

We keep saying the same thing: As long as Couillard holds onto Barrette, he’s toast. And these kinds of news items don’t help.

Coming to a theatre near you probably sooner than you would like: “All students enrolled in a Delaware public school may self-identify gender or race, which is maintained in the school.”

Got that Blanche? You’re a boy and you want to be a girl – poof! You’re a girl. You’re white and feel bad that you have ‘white privilege’ – poof! you’re now black. The world is insane.

Ever see an eensy weensy asterisk beside the price of a flight? Like it says $70* to fly to London. That fare usually represented a one-way ticket sans taxes and fees like the airport taxes. If you didn’t scroll down to see what that asterisk means, you could have wound up paying, oh, $600 for that $70 flight. Special eh?

A rule making that practice illegal was made. Now it seems the airlines are petitioning the US government to rescind that law. Buyer beware.

We’ll talk…

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