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Trump To The Rest of The World: I’m 97% Sure that No One Likes Me and I’m 100% Sure I Do

Anyone see the picture on the front page of the Montreal Gazette today? The young woman depicted was part of the black lives matter demonstration taking place in Nelson Mandela park. Blanche, this was the only picture they had?

Her mouth was insanely w  i  d  e-open (to put it mildly), obviously yelling something she deemed important. Behind her is a smiling woman on her phone, a couple walking arm in arm, a man just walking. All part of the same march. What exactly was the point of this picture?

To show how black people are oppressed? To highlight black lives matter?  Perhaps the photographer mistakenly thought this young woman was auditioning for a Broadway show. When newspapers print pictures of this ilk, it diminishes their credibility, as this picture did.

In the latest polls, Trump has taken the lead over Clinton. Can we talk? There is no doubt that Trump got what is termed a boost in the polls due to the laser-beam, brutally honest comments by Comey, the head of the FBI, calling her “extremely careless” in using a private email address and server and raising questions about her judgment.

This poll boost however is tenuous. Next week is the Republican convention where Trump will ostensibly be crowned the official nominee unless of course someone or some people try and upset Trump’s hour of glory. If that happens, it will give new meaning to the word ugly. But we digress.

If things go as planned, Trump will get another boost in the polls. Until Hillary’s moment of glory a couple of weeks later. That’s when she will be wearing the crown of her party, complete with Bernie nodding beside her. (Blanche, did you see Hillary nodding while Bernie endorsed her? She looked like a live bobble-head of herself. She’s really something very special.)

The gloves will then really be off and we will get a glimpse of the next few months of what will most likely be the most base (and no doubt crude) campaigns known to man.

Here’s a shout-out to Trump: Stick to the script dude. Keep harping on Hillary’s dishonesty, carelessness, lack of judgement and you’ll do fine. Start talking about flying mosquitoes, walls that will never be built and throwing out all the muslims and she will eat you alive.

Whatever you want to say about Trump, however much you dislike him you can’t change this fact: He appeals to the people. He has emotion. He sounds real even if he’s not. Hillary is stiff, cold, condescending and staged – and those are her good points.

Somebody got to Judge Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Headlining the New York Times today was her non-apology to Donald Trump. Yes Blanche, you read that correctly. She ‘apologized’ for her stinging remarks calling Trump “a faker” who “really has an ego”, saying he had been treated too gently by the press. Mr. Trump “says whatever comes into his head at the moment” and has no consistency in his thinking.

Today she did an about-face. Verbatim: “On reflection, my recent remarks in response to press inquiries were ill-advised and I regret making them. Judges should avoid commenting on a candidate for public office. In the future I will be more circumspect.”

Those last few words are a giveaway. It’s like saying in the future I’ll keep my mouth shut because somebody laced into me big-time. Kind of reminds us of writing 100 times on a blackboard: In the future I will be more circumspect. In the future I will be more circumspect. In the future… Get it?

Somehow it ‘leaked’ out today that Mike Pence will be running alongside Trump. Ya just can’t keep a secret these days. So who is this dude?

For starters he’s calm, cool and collected which in Trump’s world can only be a good thing. Whether or not he will need a tranquilizer after spending a week with Trump is up in the air.

He’s an Irish Catholic who used to be a conservative radio talk show host (tamer than Limbaugh). Right now he’s the governor of Indiana. He’s has been married to his wife Karen for 31 years and has three children. So far so good. He’s white, has good  hair, albeit a bit short and no comb over. Still good and gets better.

He was a congressman for six terms who is a proven fundraiser with close ties to billionaire industrialists David and Charles Koch and their network of wealthy donors. Those dudes dropped Trump like a hot potato, so maybe with Pence on board, the money will start flowing again.

If you’re waiting for a juicy tidbit, here it is: This year Pence clashed with the local Catholic archdiocese by opposing the settlement of Syrian refugees in Indianapolis. Now you know why Trump picked him.

Theresa May, Great Britain’s new Prime Minister made her first appointment today and it’s a doozy. She named Boris Johnson as Foreign Minister. In case you don’t know about this dude, let’s just say he makes the late Rob Ford look tame.

Lest you think we are exaggerating, here are a few choice quotes of Johnson:

On Tony Blair visiting Africa, in 2002: “What a relief it must be for Blair to get out of England. It is said that the Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving piccaninnies… That last word is, shall we delicately say, a derogatory word for black children.

Here’s what he said about Hillary: “She’s got dyed blonde hair and pouty lips, and a steely blue stare, like a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital.”

On Trump: He accused Mr Trump of being “out of his mind” and of possessing “stupefying ignorance”.

When he visited Kurdistan, Foreign Office staff had to pick up a hotel bar tab and stop Mr Johnson from driving a sports car out of a showroom. Then, get this, he insisted on visiting the front line in the fight against isis.

Obviously a deal was made before she took office and he dropped his run on said office. Guess May’s no Margaret Thatcher. Oh well.

In case the olympics in Rio de Janiero don’t have enough problems, here’s another one. France was informed of a planned terror attack on its team at the Olympic Games. They received this news from the head of French military intelligence.

Now get this one: There are no less than 85,000 security force members including 47,000 policemen and 38,000 soldiers ensuring the safety of 10,500 athletes and officials, journalists and tourists from around the world.

If you’re going there, we’re sure you now feel much better. As Blanche has said before previous games, get some popcorn, open your television, sit down on your couch and watch what you want in your own house.

Good Shabbos, We’ll talk…

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