Chocolate without the Guilt!

This morning we read that being slightly overweight can increase your lifespan.  First we ran to eat come chocolate without feeling guilty – delish! Then we thought to ourselves – too good to be true. And we were correct. This new study took someone with a BMI – Body Mass Index of grade 1 (slightly overweight) and said that person could live longer than one of those dudes or dudettes who eat 2 peas, a carrot and 4 green beans for dinner and always look as though they are ready to keel over.

A bit of explanation. BMI is when they grab the fat under your arms and measure it with some kind of device. (Not appealing at all) Depending on the reading of that device, you get your BMI. Grade 1 is overweight, but not bad. It gets worse from there. The problem with this latest study, which we figured out after the chocolate, was that it’s not the weight that’s the problem, it’s the result of the weight. Like diabetes and high blood pressure. Blanche, put away those cookies. And don’t go sayin that they’re attached and ya gotta eat the whole kittenkaboodle.

For this next piece you need the extra large barf bag. Ready? Al Gore sold his television network called Current TV to Al Jeezra. Yes, you read correctly. Why did he sell it for $500 million and keep $20 million for himself? Hold the bag close: Because Al Jeezra shares the same common goals as his TV network does: To give voice to those who are not typically heard; to speak truth to power; to provide independent and diverse points of view; and to tell the stories that no one else is telling.

The only thing to say here is that someone has to save America from itself. Otherwise the bleeding-heart-liberal-tree-huggers will continue to run it into the ground until there’s nothing left of it. So far they seem to be doing a good job.

Ever go to the gym and feel like you don’t belong? You know, when you get on the treadmill and slowly start walking cause you haven’t exercised for a long time and right beside you is a toned, fit, tanned, thin person running so fast you don’t need a fan. Take heart. Gyms in America are beginning to wake up to the fact that there are many more of ‘us’ than ‘them’. So many in fact, that one gym franchise in the US is shelling out about $10 million in advertising, aimed at us. And their slogan? No Gymtimidation!  No one will glance in your direction with that ever-so slight sneer if you are huffing and puffing after 2 pushups (and that’s a stretch!) And if they do – poof! they are out the door. We’ll keep you posted on this one. In the meantime, we are about to purchase our very first schvimkleit so we can dash into the pool in the latest fashion!

Here’s something to think about. If Hillary Clinton runs for president in 2016 she will be 69 years old. Ronald Reagan was elected at that age. But he did not have her problem, blood clots. She has to make it very clear that this second bout of blood clots (the first was in 1998, but much less significant) will in no way affect or hinder her if she wins. In other words, and to be very blunt, she won’t suffer a deadly stroke or something of the sort due to an underlying condition while in office. If she gets it under control and has no further incidents, she may be ok. If not, maybe Chelsea will run in her stead! Not!

Guess what they didn’t tell you about the fiscal cliff and the passage of that bill? Quietly tucked into the 500 pages or so of the bill but a few segments of society who will benefit from the passage of said bill:

Rum Producers: It is U.S. policy to tax rum producers like Diageo and Bacardi nearly $14 for every gallon of rum they make outside the country and sell in the U.S. But the tax is merely gimmick that gets reinvested in the Virgin Islands and the Puerto Rico in the form of aid. This gimmick has been extended by the bill.

Electric Scooter Riders: People using electric scooters will continue to get a discount on their taxes. Drivers of two- and three-wheel plug-in electric vehicles get a tax break in the legislation. As a way to incentivize alternative energy transportation, Congress voted to continue to give up to $2,500 in tax credits to individuals who purchase plug-in wheels.

And now for the tree-hugger parts: 1. Congress voted to extend $59 million in tax credits for algae growers, who are trying to find a way to produce a biofuel from the plant. 2. Asparagus producers got an extension of their market loss assistance payment, which compensates farmers who for lost revenues because of a spike in foreign asparagus imports

There’s more but we fear if we give away all the secrets you may start watching Al Jeezra.

Good Shabbos,

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