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See The USA In your Chevrolet

Do you have a fat dog? Oy – is that politically incorrect? Ok. Do you have a dog that is overweight? If so we have a solution – a fat farm for dogs.

Yes Blanche, your furry little friend can go on a five-day-long fat farm program that includes everything from “pawlates” and “doga” classes (canine versions of pilates and yoga) to “treadmill trots.” Activities are followed by organic granola treats. The camp’s itinerary also includes nature walks and swimming. Can we go too?

Obama continues to outdo himself in making the most infuriating and uneducated comments. We are beginning to wonder exactly who his dearest and closest friends are. Obviously they are all like-minded people in their common disdain for Israel.

Yesterday a palestinian teen was found murdered in a Jerusalem forest. The immediate conclusion was that it was a revenge killing. If you recall, it took Obama a few days to react to the kidnapping of children in Israel. This incident? Instantaneous reaction: US strongly condemns the heinous murder  in Jerusalem. US sends condolences to his family and Palestinian people. Perpetrators must be brought to justice. US paying close attention to investigation.

In fact, the boy was well known to police sources in Jerusalem, adding “it’s a problematic family with internal clashes that have been ongoing for many years.” There is no information yet confirming that Jews were behind the vicious kidnapping and murder.

His ‘brilliant’ secretary of state, John Kerry echoed Obama: “We condemn in the strongest possible terms the despicable and senseless abduction and murder… It is sickening… There are no words to convey adequately our condolences to the Palestinian people.”

Contrast that language with Kerry’s initial response to the kidnappings of the Jewish boys: “The United States strongly condemns the kidnapping… We are still seeking details on the parties responsible for this despicable terrorist act.”

One can only hope that Netanyahu will do whatever is necessary to find those responsible for the death of those three boys – without a hint to Obama what he is planning. Imagine, Obama doesn’t support the only democracy in the middle east. The man is in way over his head.

Unless you’re preparing to watch the July 4 fireworks somewhere, no doubt you have heard about Montreal’s Eugenie Bouchard who is now in the finals in the Wimbledon tennis championship. So who is she and what’s with the name Eugenie that is causing many pure-laine French Canadians to become apoplectic?

She lives in Westmount and has a twin sister named Beatrice (as well as two other siblings). If Eugenie and Beatrice sound like familiar names they are. Prince Andrew and the Duchess of York have two daughters with those exact names. Zut alors. Turns out Eugenie’s mother is a huge fan of the royals in Great Britain and gave her twin girls the same name as Andrew’s girls.

Now about her French lineage. Although her parents have French names, they seem to be kind of, perish the thought, Anglos. Eugenie herself speaks in English. Her father’s name is Michel but he wants to be called Mike. Now here’s the best and of course juiciest part:

A fan asked her if she could speak French with a real ‘French accent’. Here’s her answer, verbatim: “I think my accent is more of an English one because I don’t speak in French much. But at least I don’t speak with a French accent, which is good.”

Now what do you think the hard-core French Canadians thought of that? We’ll tell you. Not much.They don’t like her and don’t care if she wins Wimbledon or not. She will have the last laugh here.

In case you are not nervous flying, we’ll give you a chance to get nervous. Terrorists are plotting to use new stealth bombs in laptops and even humans to bring down a US-bound passenger plane, it is feared.

Airport security was increased across the UK, US and other countries amid fears al-Qaeda bomb experts have successfully designed a new explosive that can bypass current checks.

Most likely or G-d willing, nothing will come of this latest threat except very long lines to get through security. See the USA in your Chevrolet…but make sure it’s an old model that wasn’t recalled. Hehehehehehehehe.

Good Shabbos

We’ll talk…

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