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The Blanche Report: Orange Cones, Les Habs, Bugs

Guess what? The orange cone festival is coming back with a vengeance. No less than 81 sites are to undergo repairs in the next two years from Decarie to Turcot to the autoroute. Guess how much money we’re getting to do this from the princess no less? $1.3 billion.

We have three questions: First who exactly is going to do this work? Any of the companies under the microscope at the Charbonneau commission? Second and more importantly, who’s going to oversee this and make sure that of that $1.3 billion, a couple of million isn’t going to get siphoned off to fix someone’s kitchen send someone else on a nice European vacation in exchange for getting the contracts. And finally, who is going to make sure that the elements used in the roadwork like cement, asphalt and other things are of superior quality and not diluted in any way? Blanche, we gotta say that someone better start watchin the store – and quick.

Remember a couple of weeks ago we told you about an invasion of cicadas that happens once every 17 years? You won’t believe how many are about to envelop the east coast. Take a wild guess. 30 billion and that is a conservative number. The timing of when they first come out depends purely on ground temperature. That means early May for southern areas and late May or even June for northern areas. Here’s what people are being advised to do: Remember everybody: keep your mouths closed in the days ahead.

Outspoken Governor of New Jersey Chris Christie is not exactly a small fellow. Recently he underwent surgery to help him lose weight. Somehow the press got hold of this fact, much to Christie’s chagrin. He claims he did the surgery to lose weight for his family. While this is probably very true, we have an inkling that he is also getting himself ready for a run at the White in four years. Aside from the fact that being so overweight is just not healthy, he would never have the stamina with withstand the rigorous campaigning at his current weight. Check him out in about six months.

Princess Pauline cannot be happy with this next bit of information. It seems that the BBC over in England has done an in depth piece about the language problems in La Belle Province. Some of what was mentioned go from Pastagate – from this past winter which became a worldwide embarrassment for language hardliners, and the story of Harry Shick’s pastry shop and his ongoing battles with the missives of the office de la langue francais. Stay tuned. The BBC’s story could get picked up by other news and social media outlets.

Les Habs need some luck tonight – big time. They are going to be playing without their captain who has some sort of upper body injury. We don’t want to remind anyone of the crushing loss on Sunday night to Ottawa (6-1). It was painful to watch. If they lose tonight we suggest that you dust off your golf clubs cause Ottawa will be up 3 games to 1. Either way, there’s another game on Thursday night, guaranteed to be a nail-biter. Let’s hope they can get their act together.

Breaking news tonight: Syria has disappeared from the internet. It seems the internet went down 2:45 pm our time and no one knows what’s going on there.

We’ll talk…

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