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The Blanche Report: The Hits Just Keep on Coming

About two weeks ago, an eighteen-year-old teenager was going through a scanner at the airport in Edmonton. The security agent noticed something odd in his backpack. It was a pipe bomb. So what did the agent do? He asked the young man if he wanted to keep it and told him he could board the plane, no problem. Wait, the story gets better.

The young man said he and his friend had made the pipe bombs and exploded some of them in the country for fun. He had forgotten about this one and told the agent to please take it. “No, it’s ok, you keep it’, said the agent. “No, really, I don’t want it,” said the teen. The end of that part of the story is that the agent kept the pipe bomb, the teen boarded the plane and lived happily ever after.

Four days later the RCMP were notified about the incident. There’s nothing much to say here except uniforms don’t  come with brains.

Oh yes, make sure you empty your water bottle before going through security. Welcome to Canada, eh?

Just to keep you in the loop, you should know that the New York state Assembly has passed legislation that prohibits workplace discrimination against attire worn for religious purposes. The bill would allow for persons to wear hijabs, turbans, kippahs and beards at their workplaces without fear of persecution.

Revealed in a joint investigation between the Guardian and NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden, the NSA collects about 200 million text messages per day globally. Before you get your knickers into a snit, think about this: Do you think they care about the message to your husband to buy a quart of milk on the way home? No. They use algorithms which means that if you use language or words that they think are terrorist related, your text will be flagged.

Of course there are always going to be those misuse this information, but come on, if you have nothing to hide then just move along with your life and let the good guys catch the bad guys. That’s the problem with what Snowden revealed. Altruism has its time and place. Snowden went way to far here. Way to far. And he put us all at risk.

This year the superbowl is in Rutherford New Jersey, right across the water from NYC. Aside from the fact that it will be played outside in the middle of winter – what exactly were they thinking? – it is rapidly becoming a security nightmare.

They are expecting 80,000 people at the game – oh that loo business looms. Problem is, the stadium is accessible by air, land and sea. Aside from the 4,000 security officers, including 3,000 private security personnel, there will be sniffer dogs, metal detectors, bomb units and a mobile hospital, complete with a surgery ward.

Here’s the best part: In the event of severe weather, de-icing equipment and some 900 plows are ready to clear the field, seats, walkways and parking lots. We suggest you buy a new pair of pajamas. That way, you won’t be wearing the same outfit as when you watched the olympics from your den.

Remember we told you about Target getting hacked? That ‘they’ got 70 million pin numbers, names, addresses, phone numbers, etc. Well, that number rose to 110 million. And Neiman Marcus joined the club.

The parking meters in Montreal are amongst the biggest ripoffs out there, as once you leave, the next person has no clue how much time is left and they have to start all over again. And to make it easier to steal your money, the city allows us to use our credit cards to pay for the privilege of getting ripped off. Well, there are others in on the deal.

Today, a few stellar men were arrested for putting cloning machines into the parking meter machines. So you would put your credit card into the meter and while paying for your parking, your little card, along with all its information, was being cloned! While you were shopping with your card, so was someone else. Dizguzting.

Could someone please tell the ‘professionals’ dealing with the children and warped adults in the Lev Tahor group start acting upon the evidence they have. What exactly are they waiting for? It was revealed a while ago that the ‘leader’ is a convicted felon and should have been deported long ago. If running away in the middle of the night is not enough of a clue for those investigating, then the investigators need to live there for about a week to get a clearer picture.

There is something very wrong going on there.  What more do they need to go in, get rid of the ringleader and get professional help for everyone? Hold the date: Sometime in May Chuck and Camilla are coming for a visit. Yes, Prince Charles and his lovely wife Camilla will be visiting Canada. Hey! Maybe they can make a presentation to drainville or even better, to the princess herself!

Good Shabbos,

We’ll talk

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