The Princess and the Hospital

We continue to shake our head. Since the horrific events a month ago in Sandy Hook, over 100,000 people have signed up with the NRA – the national rifle association. The cost to belong to this group is $25 and you get a free NRA baseball cap. We actually went online to their site and saw for ourselves that one can become a lifetime member for $1000 payable over 40 months at $25 per month.

This next line comes directly from their site: The most important benefit of NRA membership, is the defense of your Constitutional right to keep and bear arms. Guess that says it all. The constitutional right to own a machine gun in Boston or New York or Newtown is more important than trying to put an end to a culture of violence. Pretty sad commentary on life south of the border.

Princess Pauline is at it again. Before we launch into her latest escapade take note: We predict she will back down from this latest announcement as she did from others.  It sounds like she is trying very hard to destabilize the province. There can be no other reason why she keeps looking to antagonize people for no reason.

The princess wants to pull Lachine Hospital out of the McGill University Health Centre in order to preserve its francophone “vocation.” There was no discussion, no warning and there’s no reason to do this. The hospital runs just fine, no one complains about any language issues, they are set to make a huge $60 million renovation and she wants to pull the plug. Someone needs to save her from herself or, even better, send her very far away for a very long time. She is the worst thing that has happened to this province in a very long time. Feh. Feh. Feh.

Blanche, go git the tent. Doesn’t matter if it’s winter, we’re gonna lend it to the princess. Seems she needs to take a rest from her job. She’s workin to hard and it’s affectin her head. Ya, good idea there to send her to watch the whales in Antarctica. She sure won’t havta to worry about who speaks French or English! Whales don’t talk! Hahaha! Ok, you kin lend her yer mother’s old fur coat. It’s pretty cold up there and if she wears it outside she’ll git rid of that Charlie perfume smell ur mother used to wear. Woof, that was bad. Jack Lew is the new Treasury Secretary of the United States. He is listed as an Orthodox Jew and a liberal Democrat. He also has the weirdest signature we have ever seen. A graphologist would have a field day with him.  Time will tell how he does. One thing is for sure – he’s entering a position that is a virtual minefield. We don’t envy him one bit.

Guess who got inducted into the baseball hall of fame this year? No one. Guess who cares? No one. On Wednesday, the Baseball Writers Association of America announced that not a single player on the 2013 ballot—including Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens—got enough votes for entry into the hall. It’s only the eighth time in the sport’s history no one was voted in. It happened because 2013 marks the first year of eligibility for Bonds and Clemens, unquestionably the best hitter and pitcher of their era, but also tainted by its shameful performance-enhancing drugs scandals. At least some people in the US still have morals, unlike the NRA.

So it wasn’t raining or snowing, we didn’t have an ice storm, it wasn’t windy and yet over 100,000 people lost their electricity this afternoon. Our lights flickered just before 4:00 pm and we said – uh oh, somebody lost their power.  And we were correct.  According to Hydro Quebec, the problem, which has yet to be identified, was quickly fixed as by 4:30 only 40,000 people had no power! 40,000 people! That’s fixed!!! May we suggest Inspector Clouseau be put in charge of this mystery and send the bill to the princess.

We hope that you did not put the barf bag away. You may need it for this. Bill Clinton, yes the beloved husband of Hillary, dear father of Chelsea and good friend of Monica, has been named father of the year by the National Father’s Day Council. What? You’re surprised? Oh, maybe you were remembering certain, shall we say, indiscretions in the White House a few years ago. They certainly wouldn’t have bestowed the award at that time. How soon we forget. That award should share shelf space with Obama’s Nobel peace prize. Both the men and the organizations that deliver these awards are the real prizes here.

Good Shabbos,

We’ll talk…

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