Doesn’t Coderre Wish Everything Was As Easy As Getting Fat?

If you live in Montreal you are no doubt thinking the following: How does our mayor find the time to mix into everyone’s business? Every time we turn around he’s there with a ‘brilliant’ idea. Doesn’t he have a job with a to-do list?

Did you ever have a coffee or meal on a terrace? If you live in Montreal, no matter what kind of food you eat, it’s the right of passage from winter into summer. Well, Mayor Coderre has decided that it’s not a good thing that these terraces are located close to the restaurants they belong to. That would just be sensible. Instead, he wants them pushed away from the establishment they belong to. In Old Montreal, a place teeming with tourists, he wants said terraces placed in the middle of a square. Can we talk?

Here’s one scenario: A waiter is balancing his four piping hot onion soups on a tray resting on his shoulder. He manages to get himself around the tourists until…one little kid runs away from his mother and smashes right into him.( At least there’s no gorilla) The hot soup goes flying, the kid gets burned and Coderre won. Let’s bet the restaurant owners take him to court and this goes the same way as the caleches – against the mayor. Coderre is going to lose face again and if that happens, he will make very sure his next brainwave idea goes through.

Once we’re on the subject of Coderre, there’s one more stupidity that has blown off the stupid charts. The gazebo to honor Mordechai Richler which was supposed to have been built years ago. Well, it’s not built and now the price has gone to $725,000 for a few small bits of wood.

Here’s the deal on this one ladies and gents: Montreal has a history of being, shall we say, not so nice to the Jews.

It’s not a secret that Richler wrote a number of articles published in the United States and Great Britain, which many Québécois separatists considered offensive. Of course we’re not saying Coderre is a separatist, but he knows which side his bread is buttered on and as Richler is now pushing up grass, he’d rather tick off the Jews than the French Canadians. Get the drift? He’s not interested in honoring Richler because he’s Jewish and he does not like Jews who ditz separatists and/or needs their votes in the next election. He could be a bit more subtle, n’est pas?

Harambe was a gorilla who is now dead. No doubt the animal was beautiful, albeit caged. Last week a family went to the zoo,  their four year old slipped away for two seconds and wound up sitting beside Harambe, the gorilla. How he got there is another story. Obviously the place is not baby-proof.

The save-the-whales,save-the-trees and now, save-the-gorillas holier-than-thou people would rather the zookeepers shoot the kid than the gorilla. Blanche, how can you say that? Well, they started an online petition seeking “justice for Harambe” through criminal charges that has earned more than 300,000 signatures.

Who exactly are they charging? The four-year old? The zoo people who saved the kids life? The parents? The world is going to hell in a hand basket in real time.

Every nutball known to man seems to be coming out of the closet to support Bernie Sanders. Recently a group charged the podium where Zaidy Bernie was speaking. They were swiftly tackled by the secret service. Fear not, it didn’t even cause a blip in his speech. Bernie just kept going. So who were these nutcases?

A few men egged on by Sanders’ support for animal agriculture. Lest you think we are exaggerating in calling them nutballs, here’s what they said: “We expect Bernie Sanders, the progressive candidate, to support more radical action to provide animals not just with improved conditions but with legal rights to be free from harm.” Got that?

In other words, kiss your steaks goodbye if Bernie gets elected and these people have a strong lobby.

Given the ilk that is attracted to Bernie, Blanche has some advice for anyone living in Philadelphia where the Democratic convention will be held from July 25-28. Get the heck outta town. It’s going to be ugly,  with rioting and all that comes with it – fires and looting.

The new polls with Clinton running against Trump in the general election are out and Hillary must be needing some heavy duty tranquilizers. Either that or she’s firing everyone around her.

On July 1, 2015 Clinton was at 53.5% of the popular vote and Trump at 33.7%. Today? Hillary 43.8, Trump 42.8. Tied.

To add to her troubles, the Clinton camp thought that it would be a Clinton coronation in the California primary. Instead, she’s in a dog fight with Bernie who really is like a pit bull clamped onto her leg and won’t let go. He’s in it for the long run no matter who asks him to back off. Hey – maybe the dudes who shot the gorilla should have a ‘talk’ with Bernie?

Mark this date on your calendar of events: June 23, 2016. That’s the day Brits vote to stay or exit the European Union.

Right-wing populists are trying to make their country great again by keeping immigrants out and negotiating great deals. Sound familiar? Maybe like Trump?

In Britain’s case, the U.K. Independence Party (UKIP) wants to leave free trade zone that is the EU. Why? Because they are hoping for a new free trade pact with said same EU that wouldn’t require them to follow Brussels’ missives on, say, how strong vacuum cleaners are allowed to be (seriously), or, more saliently, how many immigrants they have to accept from the rest of Europe.

So why is this happening? Very simple. People in Britain are poorer than they thought they’d be and don’t feel like they can afford to be as generous to immigrants anymore.

Sounds very much like what Trump is trying to do. You can bet your bippy that Trump is watching this vote very closely.

In case you had nothing to worry about when traveling, like terrorists, planes falling out of the sky or lost luggage, we have one more thing for you. Fragrances.

Hotels are pumping floral, mint or vanilla fragrances through their ventilation systems especially if they allow pets. If you are sensitive or worse, allergic to those smells, you’re in a deep dog doodoo, pardon the pun. Best call ahead to see if your hotel is one of the culprits.

We’ll talk…

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