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Clearly the woman who sent the deadly poison ricin in an envelope to Donald Trump and some policemen in Texas (where she was arrested) is not one, but a few fries short of a happy meal. Or a few tools short of a toolbox. Or a few flakes short of a box of cornflakes. Take your pick. 

For starters, does she think that Trump actually opens his mail? Like the postman delivers 20 bags of mail into the oval office. Secondly, she didn’t know that the place from where she mailed the envelope would have a city stamped on it?

Well, turns out all of the above are true. Her name is Pascale Ferrier and we’d bet our bottom dollar that her first language is not English – la. In fact she’s from France and moved to la belle province a few years ago. She was deported from Texas last year for carrying an unlicensed weapon, a fake driver’s license,  resisting arrest and parking her RV for the night in a park that did not allow RV’s. Special.

She must have some brain cells as she thought up this whacko scheme,  but obviously they were not working at full capacity when she sent the ricin. Most likely she will plead insanity which will give her 20 instead of 25 years behind bars in a maximium federal penitentiary, oh say, in Alabama where no one speaks a word of French and for sure there’s no poutine. What was she thinking? A rhetorical question.

The fact that we are on the cusp of the second wave of the pandemic seems to have given  Mr. Legault and his missives a very short haircut i.e. it flew very close to their hairline. They have chosen to give the office de la langue francais $5 million to make businesses more miserable than they already are during this never-ending pandemic. Who exactly in Legault’s government sits and thinks up these moronic ideas? Morons of course. 

Quebec will open three new office quebecois de la langue française (OQLF) offices, hire dozens of new employees and create a French-language accompaniment program to help certain businesses conform to Quebec’s language law. It’s clear that the bureaucrats in Quebec are blind to what is happening around them if they dreamed this up while the province cannot afford to hire new nurses or pay them more money.

La belle province is now very concerned that businesses with 50 people or less are not speaking french in their offices. In fact, Legault and his band of morons are pandering  for votes to the karaoke singing rural Quebecers. This department is, by far, the most useless waste of money since the invention of poutine.

It is incumbent upon us to make mention of the passing of RGB – Judge Ruth Bader Ginsburg who passed away on Friday night, Rosh Hashana. She was a force to be reckoned with and did not forget who she was – a Jewish woman. To illustrate this point, we offer this very short story:

This happened back in 2003. That year, Yom Kippur fell out on the first Monday of October. So the two Jewish judges, Justice Stephen Breyer and Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg went to the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Justice Rehnquist, and requested that they delay the opening in deference to Yom Kippur. The Chief Justice was not persuaded. He said ‘Why should we delay? We always hold our Friday conferences on Friday, even if it is Good Friday!’ Why should Yom Kippur be given more prominence than Good Friday? So Ruth Ginsburg replied to him ‘So move that conference to Thursday; that would be fine for us.’ The Chief was still not persuaded. Ruth Ginsburg then said to him:

“Lawyers wait their entire career to appear before the Supreme Court. For many of them, it is a once in a lifetime chance to argue in the Supreme Court. What if a Jewish lawyer wanted to appear in court on this Yom Kippur? We should not make that lawyer choose between observing his or her faith and appearing before the Court.”

That persuaded the Chief Justice. From that day it was decided that if RH or YK are on the first Monday of October, the court will open up for five minutes but no arguments would be heard so no lawyer should have to choose between his Judaism and his career.

Even the gentile Chief Justice understood that not a single Jewish lawyer trying to “make it” in America should have to neglect his Jewish heritage and faith. Every single Jew deserves the right to “remain a Jew” fully.

This is a good one. There’s a defund-the-police activtist/actress by the name of Alyssa Milano. This is a good example of what happens to people with big mouths who think themselves very entitled and have not the faintest hint of a clue what they are doing.

Miss defund the police called 911 in an absolute panic when she thought there was an active shooter on her property. Turns out it was a neighborhood teenager with an air gun shooting at squirrels. Hopefully not for eating purposes. Not quite roadkill but close. Feh. But we digress.

So here’s the reason defund the police is 100% a crock: It’s whities pushing this, not black people. And when something happens in white suburbia you can be very sure that defunding the police is the last thing on the list of requests when calling said police.

This beauty had no less than seven police cars, one K-9 unit, a police helicopter and one Los Angeles Fire Department team that sat down the street on standby. Blanche, do you think she still wants to defund the police? If so, then the police should lose her address and let her fend for herself when she calls them again in an absolute panic.

UPDATE ON THE OLF AND PANDEMIC: Yesterday, Quebec’s health minister said that we should not get tested unless we have symptoms. Today he said that was wrong. If you want to get tested go and do so.

Then he said that the health care system is threatened of being overwhelmed. So here’s the question: Why is another arm of the government, called the office de la langue francais being given $5 million now, when the health care system needs every cent available and then some?

Don’t even try to answer the last question nor understand the first paragraph. Unless you have a mind like a merry-go-round, nothing will make sense to you because…your mind works. To be a bureaucrat in this province your mind has to be going round and round and round and round, never stopping to figure anything out.

Which brings us to the fact that you can go to a concert or movie with 250 other peeps but if you want to go to a place of worship the max is 25 people. As Yom Kippur is quickly approaching, here’s our suggestion: Let’s rent out all the movie theatres and hold our services there.

We’ll talk…

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