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Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get offended. Who Knew?

The mayor of Montreal, Denis Coderre is turning out to be just like the rest of the dudes who took that job with one caveat – he has a big mouth. Instead of short-man syndrome (we all know a few of those losers), he has big-man syndrome. Same thing. A lot of bluff with no substance and an over-inflated ego.

In the mother-of-all-genius moves, he has decided that he is going to save the whales, trees and turtles by banning plastic bags in 2018. And those water bottles? Gonzo as well.

This is definitely a move to hide behind the real issues which are: that the infrastructure in this city is crumbling faster than a shortbread cookie; a contract worth a cool $400,000 went without tender to a law firm where Denis Coderre’s personal lawyer works – quel surprise; Lest we forget the $40 lights on the Champlain bridge; small businesses taxed to death with no end in sight and closing at an alarmingly rapid rate; the same brain-dead people work on ‘fixing’ streets such as St. Laurent and St. Denis in a never-ending job. Blanche, remember: follow the money.

Ted Cruz needs a towel with him at all times to wipe off the slime. Ich. Lest you think we exaggerate, get this one – Cruz accepted an endorsement from Mike Bickle, an evangelical leader being scrutinized for preaching that G-d sent Hitler to hunt the Jews. Wait, Blanche, it gets much better.

Cruz claims Bickle is pro-Israeli. Cruz needs a lobotomy. Bickle’s public views on Israel are entirely devoted to an end-times prophecy in which Jews and Israel must repent for not accepting you-know-who as the Messiah. Bickle’s ministry, the International House of Prayer, in Grandview, Missouri is defined by a quest to cure Israel and Jews around the world of their “spiritual blindness” to J.

If this is Cruz’s idea of someone who supports Jews and Israel he needs new advisers. Oh wait, he doesn’t need new advisers if this is what he really believes.

And then there’s Hillary. Never mind the email business, she’s in hot water because of the insider and top secret speeches she gave to Goldman Sachs and other big banks. Did you know Blanche, that the lovely Mrs. Clinton is trying to block the media from seeing a word of those speeches? What’s she hiding?

Remember when she announced she was running for president? When she stood in front of a modest house with a white picket fence and said to middle America, “I’m one of you. I understand you.” What a crock. Remember girlies, there’s a special place in he.l for women who don’t support other women. Blanche, go git the blindfold quick. There’s a new study saying that turning the lights out or wearing a blindfold while we’re eating could be a quick way to lose weight. Who knew?

The eat-in-the-dark-trick works because it stops people from eating for pleasure. Really? What’s left? No plastic bags, no water bottles and now we can’t enjoy our food?

Eating in the dark triggers a part of the brain that is worried that unseen food may be rotten without visual clues to show it is fresh. How about smelling it? Naw, that’s way to easy.

People also overestimate how much they have eaten and therefore eat much less. Of course the side benefit is also saving money on electricity by turning out the lights.

Imagine sitting down to eat. Blanche, you blindfold me and I’ll blindfold you. Wow, it’s so dark. Wait. Where’s the fork? And my drink. Oops, it spilled. Sorry. Where’s the plate? Did you cut the meat? This could be one of the most idiotic studies known to man.

Sunny ways, sunny ways. Imagine Justin is still busy with sunny ways even while giving it to us by saying, oh well, we said a $10 billion deficit and now it’s $30 billion and counting. Fear not fellow Canadians. Justin’s pretty face and good hair will be enough to make everyone feel good when he raises taxes because he lied through his teeth when campaigning. Don’t you love politicians? Don’t you wonder who teaches them how to lie with such a straight face and sunny ways? Fech.

In the can-this-be-true column, beginning Aug. 1 Texans who legally own guns (all of them) will be able to carry their concealed weapons on the campuses of the state’s public universities.

Some faculty at the University of Houston appear concerned over what the new law might mean for their safety, so the school recently presented a Powerpoint  suggesting ways in which teachers may reduce their chances of being murdered by their students: Be careful discussing sensitive topics Drop certain topics from your curriculum Do Not “go there” if you sense anger Limit student access off hours

Welcome to the wild west. And here’s a tip from Blanche. Don’t go to the University of Houston.

We saved the best or worst for last. The McGill university Student Society, ostensibly completely unaccountable and untouchable by the board of directors or governors, passed a BDS motion yesterday.

Lest you live under a rock you will  know that BDS stands for Boycott, Divest and Sanction Israel due to their terrible treatment of the poor Palestinians. There is no barf bag big enough for this one.

McGill authorities should be hanging their heads in shame. The BDS movement is another slick way of being an anti-semite. Nothing more or less. And if you think it’s any better anywhere else, take the needle out of your arm. The BDS/anti-semitic movement is alive and well all over Europe and in many, many US universities.

Take heed, don’t let your guard down, watch your back and be a proud Jew, especially those on campus. And do not give a cent to McGill.

We’ll talk…

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