Bonjour Ho.

If you think for half a second that the Bloc Quebecois doesn’t know what a ho is, we have used dishtowels to sell  you.

In case you live on Mars and don’t know what a ho is, we will enlighten you. It’s a call girl, or ‘escort’ or to be blunt, a prostitute. So the French Canadian geniuses want store owners to greet women who enter their stores by calling them a ho. Of course they would first say bonjour but the word ho would follow, ergo Bonjour ho. Not Bonjour. Ho as in t’is the season.

If we could have one holiday wish it would be this: Bonjour Ho goes spectacularly viral, making pea-brain French Canadian politicians – federal or provincial – look like the total incompetents they are. The BQ ‘leader’ – Yves-François Blanchet – who thought this up to save the french language,  thinks calling a woman a ho is just fine.

You know Blanche, there was a reason Dr. Pepper was not sold in Quebec for a long time. French Canadians found the word after Dr. –  i.e. pepper –  o.f.f.e.n.s.i.v.e. It hurt their delicate sensibilities. But to call a woman walking into a shoe store a ho – that’s ok? They are starting to tread on very thin ice because the ho’s might  wind up biting them you-know-where.

Papa Legault said at the beginning of his press conference that “Things are going well. Even if the numbers are high, if we compare ourselves with countries in Europe, we are doing better.” And so? Does that mitigate our  lockdown? No.

Why must he continuously compare us to the worst places in the world? That’s supposed to make us feel better? The numbers suck here and that’s why we are going into an almost total lockdown, which by the way, won’t do very much.

Papa Legault is putting us into a ‘holiday break’ which will last well beyond the holiday. Offices must close. Schools will remain closed from December 17 thru January 11.

You can have a picnic outside in the park in the winter – merci Papa Legault.  You can play hockey and ski but you have to keep 2 meters from each other.

It will be MANdatoRY for stores to be closed from December 25 until January 11 except for grocery stores, hardware stores, pet stores. So you need a hammer? Fuggedaboudit. Wait. He never spoke about liquor stores or pot stores. Are those essential services?

Costco, Walmart, Maxi and other big box stores will only be allowed to sell essential goods. No clothing, boots, slippers, carpets, televisions, computers, glasses etc to level the playing field with all the small stores that must close. Get your nails done, get a haircut, dye your hair now because you’re done for three weeks starting from December 25.

So the bottom line…find a blanket, get onto Netflix and hunker down for three weeks. Amazon here we come.

Yesterday Google services, including YouTube, Google Meet, Hangouts, Google Maps, Google Docs, Google Drive and Google Calendar, went offline in a huge outage on Monday that lasted for roughly 40 minutes.

The 1.5 billion gmail users were warned that google may have been sabotaged by hackers.

Also hacked yesterday were multiple federal government agencies, including the U.S. Treasury and Commerce departments. Some of their computer systems were breached as part of a widespread global cyber espionage campaign believed to be the work of the Russian government.

Seriously Blanche, don’t people have something better to do with their lives than make other people miserable? There’s not enough misery with the coronavirus?

Joe Biden has nominated Pete Buttigieg for Minister of Transport. While this may sound inane, those who live in South Bend Indiana where Buttigieg was mayor are singing a different tune.

Seems that while he was mayor of South Bend, the city’s roads became nearly impassable in some spots because they had deteriorated so badly. Local car repair shops said that they had not seen anything that bad in well over a decade.

The situation became so bad that residents of South Bend reached out to Domino’s Pizza for help and received a $5,000 “Paving for Pizza” grant to fill in potholes. Ya think he may have a hard time getting past the senate?

Yesterday it became official. The Electoral College voted and Biden won 306 seats to Trump’s 232. He is the official president-elect and even if there was voter fraud, Trump could never close that gap.

While we understand that Trump is not happy he lost, at this point, he is beginning to look like a pouting child. It’s over dude. Done. Kaput. Finito. Get a grip, find your big boy pants and call Biden to congratulate him.

We certainly hope he doesn’t go so far as to boycott the inauguration. That would make both him and the United States look like a banana republic.

Justin held a news conference today. He was one happy camper as the vaccines have started coming to Canada. Blanche, do you know how many Canadians will be vaccinated in the first round? 1%.

Yup. You read that correctly. 1%.

To understand this better, Israel has a population of 8 million people and by the end of December they will have 3.5 million doses of the vaccine. That’s 44% of the population. Nothing more to say except that Justin should wipe that silly grin off his face.

We’ll talk…

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