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Don’t Steal. Don’t Lie. Don’t Cheat. The Government Hates Competition.

What the heck happened to The Donald last night? He came second in the Iowa caucus, certainly not the end of the world. Ted Cruz defeated him. His concession speech was completely woosie and even more so his body language. “Hey, I like Iowa so much I may buy a farm here.” What? Even for Trump that’s shallow. He best not be a sore loser because if he’s serious about this president business this show is just getting started.

And then of course there was Milenia, his Russian-born, thinner than thin, long-legged wife. She was sitting beside him looking beyond bored, kind of like she was watching paint dry. Blanche’s suggestion is that someone coach her to at least look interested or leave her home.

Watch Marco Rubio carefully. He may come up the middle between Trump and Cruz because many people cannot stomach either Cruz or Trump as a president.

Hillary’s another beauty. She won, literally by a hair against Bernie Sanders. In reality, it was a tie and she looked shell-shocked. After her acceptance speech she flew out the door like a thief in the night. All the while, the email scandal continues to haunt her.

The taxi drivers in this city need to find a few of their own with something between their ears other than air. Staging protests that tie up traffic is not going to win them any brownie points. We were just in New York and not only do they have Uber but they have gone one step further. They have a share-a-ride service. For $5 you log in your location and a van carrying other passengers picks you up and drops you within 2 blocks of your destination. Got that? $5.

If it were hard to take Uber people would be loyal to taxis. Instead of looking to blame the government etc, perhaps they should do a bit of naval gazing. Les Canadiens are playing tonight. They had a week off to recoup, regroup and get their act together. Perhaps, and this is just a suggestion, giving back some of their insanely overrated salaries would shake them up a bit. For every game they lose, it costs them, oh, say $25,000. We also hope that during their break, Max Paciorrety took some speech lessons. He has by far the most monotone voice we have ever heard.

Imagine starting your vacation together with many millions of people in what is considered the largest annual human migration? It’s happening now in China.

Chinese travelers are expected to make 2.9 billion trips during the 40-day period, which began Jan. 21. Most of those trips will fall in the weeks around the Feb. 8 Lunar New Year and it seems that many, many millions of people travel from big cities back to their home towns. Problem is freak snowstorms closed some airports. Now, if the airports are closed and ya want to go home what do you do? Run to the train station.

Unfortunately, 100,000 people thought the same thing in one small station. Chaos would be the operative word. In this case, a picture is worth a thousand words. Just google China and snowstorm. The mass of humanity all carrying suitcases is mind-boggling.

Yet another car recall. Toyota is recalling 320,000 vehicles due airbags that go off without you having to do anything but get into your car. Special eh? The press release said that unexpected activation of the air bags could injure occupants. No kidding.

The secretary of defense in the United States, Ash Carter (what the heck kind of name is Ash?) said today that they will be spending $582 billion defending space from isis. Yes Blanche, you read that correctly. Among the more interesting things they will be doing is this: The arsenal plane which takes one of our oldest aircraft platform and turns it into a flying launchpad for all sorts of different conventional payloads. In practice, the arsenal plane will function as a very large airborne magazine, network to fifth generation aircraft that act as forward sensor and targeting nodes, essentially combining different systems already in our inventory to create holy new capabilities.

It that made zero sense to you join the club. Nothing like going to the money tree and spending OPM – other people’s money.

Not sure if you heard about the E. coli outbreak at Chipotle, a fast food restaurant chain down south. Well, it turns out that a lawyer specializing in food-borne illness listed the six things he will not touch anywhere: raw oysters and other raw shellfish, raw or under-cooked eggs, meat that isn’t well-done, unpasteurized milk and juice, and raw sprouts.

For those Jews who keep kosher, the first two don’t count. The rest is common sense. Blanche, that steak tartar you used to order? Fuggedaboutit.

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