Welcome to Blanche’s new home! It has been a long time in the making. My new bff Sarah, (who is the brainchild behind the scenes) and I are very happy with the results, which we hope you will be too. Blanche, as you can see, is well-dressed, complete with pearls. We love her red hair buffon:)
One of our new features is that you can comment directly on the blog. Blanche definitely wants to hear from her readers. Let her know what you think of her new look dawlings.
It looks like princess pauline is about to call an election. The date? The first day of Passover which is a Jewish holiday. No mistake here ladies and gentlemen. She and her little missives will stop at nothing to win. They will do anything, including selling their mothers and children to win the election. She has also started to float the independent issue. That’s where her bread is buttered. In the hinterland where they speak zero English, never saw a Jew or an Arab, still don’t understand why they pay Federal tax and think they would do just fine living in a banana republic. True if you want to live in Cuba, which we don’t.
The Liberal leader Phillip Couillard has the personality of a dead fish and unless he has a quick lobotomy, nothing’s changing in the next couple of months. We’re stuck with him – the wrong person at a crucial juncture in our history. He has obviously surrounded himself with utter losers who cannot read between any lines and are dispensing the worst advice possible. The only thing we can do is pray that somewhere there’s a phone booth with someone inside changing getting ready to save us.
The trials and tribulations of the press covering the Sochi games continue. There are some in the media who are making fun of them, saying they are spoiled brats. There’s a big difference between a spoiled brat and someone paying $600 for a hotel room that looks like a war-zone.
Here are a few more tweets: To anyone in Sochi: I am now in possession of three light bulbs. Will trade for a door handle. This offer is real:
Good news , I have Internet , bad news, it’s dangling from the ceiling in my room…
Still waiting for “preparations” on hotel room to finish. Hoping they’re origami-folding toilet roll, rather than, say, putting the roof on.
It also seems that there are no tourists in Sochi, much to the chagrin of Putin. Between terrorist threats and the tweets about those nasty hotels and stray rabid dogs, who exactly is he expecting there?
Finally, there’s the new terrorist threat on planes: some kind of bomb business in toothpaste. Someone best have a lot of mints if they take away everyone’s toothpaste. Feh. Don’t get sick in Montreal. And if you do, make sure you don’t have to call an ambulance. It seems that there aren’t enough of them to go around. Takes them about 20 minutes to get to a call. One minute princess pauline – how about taking that $480 million you earmarked for ‘youth’ and buy some ambulances that may save lives. Oh right, but it won’t get her votes. Never mind. Let them eat cake. Or better, let them die.
Phew – you can rest easy. The city’s construction crews have finished repairing all the overpasses and other places where concrete can fall on your car – G-d forbid. Can we talk? And you believe them? Not for a second Blanche cause it’s the same crews that made the those overpasses and watered down the concrete in the first place. Welcome to la belle province. There’s a new hotel opening up in London called The Shard. It’s very, very high. So high in fact that if anything ever happened you best be in good condition to hold onto the rope that the helicopter will be dropping to get you. Plus the entire building is glass – floor to ceiling. If you’re afraid of heights, stay away or buy some eyeshades.
The weather has been such an issue of late we decided to check out the old Farmers Almanac to see what the summer may hold. Guess what? It’s going to be hot with some rain. I’m not a farmer, I don’t milk cows and I can say the same thing. Nothing special there, that’s for sure. There’s one good thing about all this snow and ice and cold. Walking is very interesting – tiptoeing so as not to fall on the ice. That’s gotta be making the muscles in my legs stronger. See, you can always find something good in what appears to be cwappy.
So whadda ya think? We’re toast if the princess calls an election? Or Couillard will be like the scarecrow and get his brain back.
Good Shabbos, We’ll talk…