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Prime Minister Trudeau Socks

Timing, as they say in life, is everything. Last night, at 9:45 pm, Patrick Brown, Ontario opposition leader, announced that he had been made aware that allegations of sexual abuse were about to be made against him. What’s so special about the timing?

An election is due in June, and it looked like Brown had it in the bag as Kathleen Wynne, Ontario’s current premier, is seriously disliked. People thought Brown might try to fight the allegations, as he said they were not true. Wait Blanche, don’t they all say that?

Well, his campaign team immediately deserted him, aides and assistants announced their resignations and a caucus revolt quickly gathered steam. Federal Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer distanced himself, saying the allegations “should be investigated fully”.

Lest you think he really is innocent, posts on social media corroborated the women’s allegations. Oh yes. One of those ‘women’ was 17 years-old. Guess he’s going to have to reinvent himself. Ya think Couillard hopes the same thing happens to Legault? Blanche, you’re dizguzting.

Does anyone care that Vladimir Guerrero is going to the baseball hall of fame as a California Angel and not an Expo? Didn’t think so.

Bernie Sanders is obviously bored. Last weekend he convened his best and brightest advisors to start getting ready in case he runs for president in 2020.

We can say with some certainty that the Democratic party will not be happy if he decides to run as a democrat. They would much rather he say he’s an independent. However, if he does that, he loses all the funding that the dems have to offer. Wait a minute. Obama bankrupted the party and is not paying the money back. Well then, maybe Zaidy Bernie should run as an independent as he’s probably getting zippo from the dems. And if he does run, he will be a spry 79 years old. Yikes.

We try really hard to find something good to say about Trudeau. Really we do. But he’s the gift that just keeps on giving.

You know Blanche, he’s in Davos hobnobbing with the very rich and very famous where he’s supposed to be making trade deals for Canada. So far so good.

Today he met with Coca-Cola chief executive James Quincey. What’s the first thing Quincey did? He gave Trudeau a pair of polar bear socks, in keeping with our prime minister’s childish penchant for themed hosiery.

Is this what we want our Prime Minster to be famous for? His socks? Not his oratory skills, not his negotiating skills, not his ability to unite the country. His socks. Can someone please remind him that he’s the prime minister of a country?

If you want to know where the ultimate tree-hugger lives, we’ll tell you. California. No surprise there.

The Democratic majority leader there, a man by the name of Ian Calderon, has introduced a bill to stop sit-down restaurants from offering customers straws with their beverages unless they specifically request one.

Under the law, a waiter who serves a drink with an unrequested straw in it would face up to 6 months in jail and a fine of up to $1,000.

We have a suggestion for Mr. Calderon. It’s time he moved to a farm and had a chat with the cows. They, more than anything else, are responsible for global warming. We will be more explicit.

A new NASA-sponsored study shows that global methane emissions – aka farting – produced by livestock are 11 percent higher than estimates made last decade. Because methane is a particularly nasty greenhouse gas, it will take a long time to combat climate change or weather events. Nothing much more to say here except when you go to California and need a straw to sip your diet coke because you want to keep your lipstick on, think again.

Punkt! The Department of Justice has recovered most of the missing 50,000 text messages between anti-Trump FBI officials Peter Strzok and Lisa Page.

Remember what we have been saying? Nothing is ever erased. Nothing.

We have a really interesting little ditty here. Kent Hehr, Canada’s minister for sports and people with disabilities, has been accused of sexually harassing female political staffers. Now, Mr. Hehr is a paraplegic, confined to a wheelchair. Obviously  however, his mouth still works.

It seems that it was well-known not to enter an elevator alone with Hehr. Can we talk?

The man is in a wheelchair. He can’t attack you in an elevator or anywhere else. If he talks ‘dirty’ and you know he does that, here a suggestion: Bring a bar of soap with you into the elevator and shove it in his mouth when he says gross things.

Hehr is a prize possession. This is not the first time his mouth has gotten him into trouble. We will refresh your memory: Last December he spoke to a group of thalidomide victims and told them to suck it up. Everybody has issues. Come to think of it, he really does need his mouth washed out with soap. Update: He resigned.

Good Shabbos We’ll talk…

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