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The Blanche Report: The Princess, The Climber & The Stork

In case you were losing sleep over who was hosting the 2020 summer olympics, it’s Tokyo which happens to be listed as the most expensive city in the world. If you intend on going, best you start saving your money now.

Things have been hopping at Buckingham palace in the past few days. First someone obviously not afraid of heights scaled the twelve foot high fence and was discovered inside the palace in one of the state rooms. Then, Prince Andrew aka the Duke of York and the Queen’s second son  was challenged by police officers during a stroll around the palace gardens and was reportedly ordered put up his hands and surrender. His identity was eventually verified and he was released. Ya wouldn’t want to be that policeman. Yikes.

Princess Pauline has opened her mouth again only to change feet. We would love to see her keep talking and giving interviews because she every time she says something she has to put on her running shoes to scamper back to the microphone and say, no, no I didn’t mean that.

This time she said she didn’t intend to offend anyone with comments she made about multiculturalism in England. In an interview with Le Devoir, Marois said multiculturalism in Britain has led to “people beating each other up and setting off bombs,” because British society has no clear sense of identity.

Her office gave the following retraction: “The comments she made were, in no way, meant to be offensive and did not constitute an attempt at interfering with policies practiced in the United Kingdom.”

Oh really. They were not meant to be offensive? The woman has lost her sense of anything resembling normalcy and needs to go away for a very long time. Hey – maybe send her to Syria to try and solve the problems there! No one else has been able to do so until now. Ya never know. And then if she even remotely succeeds she would win the Nobel Peace prize, like Obama did. Ah, but we digress. Things on the Syrian-US maybe-we-should-attack front are getting more complicated by the minute. Phone calls intercepted by a German surveillance ship operated by the BND, the German intelligence service, and deployed off the Syrian coast, seem to suggest that Assad did not order those chemical attacks on his people. It is certainly in the realm of possibilities given that those in the ‘brotherhood’ are not exactly boy scouts to say the least. How convenient and plausible that they did those attacks and are trying to frame Assad. What a huge mess over there with no end in sight.

We know that you will not believe this, but it’s true. Iowa is giving gun permits to people who are legally or completely blind that will let these residents acquire guns and carry these firearms in public. Officials from Polk County report that at least three people who can’t legally drive and weren’t able to read the application forms have been given permits to carry firearms. Only in America. And dudes – maybe stay out of Iowa.

Remember that stork we told you about last week? The one who Egyptians thought was a spy? Well after it was let out of jail it seems that some people were kind of hungry…Feh.

We’ll talk…

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