The Mother of All Hurricanes?

Blanche, go git the barf bag. It has come to light that, lo and behold, Hillary has told Michelle that when elected she will continue to tend to her vegetable garden somewhere around the White House. Seriously? Let’s put it this way: Hillary won’t be tending to any garden. She will have her missives get down and dirty to make sure the garden doesn’t get plowed over. Until of course it gets plowed over.

There is no doubt that Hillary would like to put a muzzle on her husband Bill. Plus it’s very obvious that he despises Obama.

Speaking at a Democratic rally this week in Flint, Michigan, Clinton offered a frank assessment of problems with the health care law that is Obama’s signature domestic achievement:

“So you’ve got this crazy system where all of a sudden 25 million more people have health care and then the people who are out there busting it, sometimes 60 hours a week, wind up with their premiums doubled and their coverage cut in half. It’s the craziest thing in the world.” Yes it is the craziest thing in the world and it just so happens to be called Obamacare which he wants as his legacy.

Obama desperately wants Hillary elected so that the parts of his legacy that he wants hidden will remain that way for a long time. Whatever fairytales he has put forth will stay just that – fairytales.

Seems that the three main universities in Montreal are in serious disrepair. We are talking a billion or so to get them up to speed.

Here’s a novel idea…instead of spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on missives going to measure the size of the letter ‘t’ in the word pasta, how about getting rid of the office de la langue francais and divert those monies to fixing the buildings before they crumble. Hey, they could teach the little dolts to be fixermen instead of harassing people all day. At least they would be productive.

Blanche, ya think it’s time to get on the Blue Jays bandwagon? They are the underdogs and against all odds and much better teams keep winning. Only problem is they come from Toronto. Ich.

In the past we have given you travel advisories sent out by the United States. Get these countries who have issued travel advisories for their citizens traveling to the United States.

Citizens of Canada (that would be us) are being warned about pickpocketing in major U.S. cities, and to stay away from some neighborhoods from dusk to dawn. Doesn’t say which neighbourhoods.

The Bahamas warns its citizens to be aware of the recent shootings of black males by police in a number of U.S. cities, and to stay away from political protests.

The United Arab Emirates issued a special alert to its citizens, cautioning them against wearing traditional clothing in certain parts of the U.S.

Looks like the mother of all hurricanes is about to hit. We are referring to the Matthew about to smash into Florida. One thing we can say with certainty, from the governor on down, they are absolutely panicking the population.

One of the reasons for this is the history of hurricane Katrina which it seems people did not take seriously – not the population or the government.

Obama has already declared a state of emergency in Florida and South Carolina allowing the Department of Homeland Security and the Federal Emergency Management Agency to coordinate relief efforts. Governor Scott activated 3,500 National Guard troops to help with evacuations and prepare for search-and-rescue operations. Sounds scary, eh Blanche?

Never fear that you won’t know what’s going on. Tune into CNN later tonight and you are bound to see some yoyo reporter holding onto a poll almost blowing away saying how hard it’s raining.

A final word about the election and who votes for who. According to new data analysis physicians’ political leanings tend to vary according to their specialty. Urologists and anesthesiologists tend to be registered Republicans, while two-thirds of doctors in infectious disease, psychiatry and pediatrics are Democrats. Who knew?

Blanche, this is a shtikel nuts. New Yorkers can now remain close to their pets even after death. A new law allows pets to be buried alongside their owners in cemeteries meant for people. It can be a dog, a cat, a turtle — any domestic animal. Wait a minute. What happens to Jerry’s wife when she dies and he’s buried next to Sparky the dog? Oh. She is buried next to Tweety their bird. Phew.

As Yom Kippur falls out on Tuesday night, we will be sending a Blanche Report next week on Monday and Thursday.

Good Shabbos We’ll talk…

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