The one-of-a-kind sweet Juicy Fruit® gum that’s been bringing the fun for more than 100 years.

Ok – who do you know that chews gum? It may be popular but it’s rather a dizguzting habit. Don’t you think one looks like a cow chewing its cud? Obama certainly doesn’t think so. He was caught spitting out his gum (ich, fech and pech) while attending the East Asia summit in Bali.

It seems he also chewed gum during the World War II commemorations, while with Putin and Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott. Well, at least he wasn’t taking a selfie as he did at Nelson Mandela’s funeral. He must have been chewing juicy fruit as he needed to have some fun. Ya can’t buy class, even if you’re the president of the United States.

Yesterday in the early afternoon emergency crews  had to rescue two window washers who were trapped on a hanging platform dangling from the 68th floor of the new World Trade Center  in lower Manhattan. We can’t even imagine.

How did they rescue them? Using a diamond saw, emergency crews cut through the thick glass of a window on that floor and then pulled the two dudes into the building. As the rig hung in mid air at a sharp angle, the savers communicated with the window washers via a portable radio lowered by rope from the roof. Imagine that conversation? Let’s start with don’t look down. Wonder if their mothers know what they do for a living.

Anyone remember Arafat’s wife? Anyone care what she says, where she goes or what the heck she does with the gzillions of dollars she and her ‘beloved’ ripped off from her own ‘people’. One minute – she ain’t no arab. She’s white and blonde.

The interview prompted Blanche to go git the barf bag. Mrs. Arafat has decided not return to the Gaza Strip or West Bank because she would feel like a guest there. That would be the good part.  Then  they would lynch her. But wait, she said that given the chance to do it over, may not have married arafat. Easy to say now that she has all the money and lives like a queen in Paris. Special, eh?

Science fiction is no longer science fiction now that Philae has landed on a comet somewhere in the universe. The robotic lander named Philae (which took 10 years to get to its destination) touched down on a comet on Wednesday. No mean feat. It came to rest on its side in the shadow of a cliff, according to the first data beamed home from the probe.

Philae is lodged against a high cliff face that is blocking sunlight to its solar panels. If they can’t move it in about 48 hours, it will lose all its power as it needs the sun to recharge its batteries. Moving it could risk toppling the lander over, or worse, knock it off the comet completely. In case you were wondering, the entire mission to date comes in at $1.58 billion. Expensive data. But everyone says we need it, so we guess we do.

In case you were wondering what the best bureaucratic job is, we’ll tell you: Quebec’s delegate to New York City. You get an apartment, endless restaurant money, go to parties and ‘openings’ and just have a grand old time at the expense of the ‘little people’, which would be us who foot the entire bill.

Well, the current delegate, Dominque Poirier was removed because it seems she had no business expertise. How about she was removed because she was put there by princess pauline? And how about who needs a delegate there altogether? We have a Canadian ambassador and that should do just fine.

How’s this for strange bedfellows? If Doug Ford (bro of the illustrious Rob Ford) decides to run for the Progressive Conservative party in the next federal election and gets the nomination, Stephen Harper will have to cozy up to him. We’d like to be a fly on the wall to listen to that conversation. “Hey Steve baby, waz up?” Hehehehehe.

Hot off the press: Remember that breach of security at the White House? When some loser got all the way into the building until he was stopped by an off duty agent? Vell it seems that the Secret Service’s alarm systems and radios failed to function properly, and that because of construction on the fence around the White House, Secret Service officers did not see the intruder as he climbed over it. Now that’s pretty pathetic.

Here’s the juicy part: A Secret Service officer was stationed on the North Lawn with an attack dog, but the officer did not realize that an intruder had made it over the fence because he was sitting in his van talking on his personal cellphone. Uh oh. Wait, it gets better or worse: The officer did not have his radio earpiece in, and had left the second radio he was supposed to have in his locker. Ya think he still has a job?

People here in la belle province are crying that we have no money, that business is not good, that we need to get the economy moving. They’re full of it. Right to the top.

When people shop they pay tax on whatever they are buying. And that tax money is what it the government is looking for. So far so good, right? That’s if you live in a normal place and not a quasi banana republic. Here they continuously shoot themselves in the foot.

Large American stores like William Sonoma, Pottery Barn and West Elm have all come to Quebec. Excellent.  Ah, but here’s where the genius bureaucrats earn their big bucks: Because these American companies have only English websites, they cannot put up a website here in Quebec because it has to be in the mother language. Can we talk?

Do these missives live in point-au-pic or St. Louis de ha!ha!? Most likely. If people are shut out of the website here then what will they do? Why go on the American site and buy what they want there and simply ship it here. So we don’t get the tax dollars plus they anger the stores that came here and the people who try to shop there. Dumb and dumber.

Good Shabbos

We’ll talk…

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