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Your Dead Uncle Bernie Can Vote Six Times Because there is No Photo ID required to Vote

We can’t pinpoint exactly what the republican party did to deserve Donald Trump, but whatever it was they are getting paid back in spades.

As bad as one thought his comment was during last night’s debate on keeping the country in suspense whether or not he would accept the outcome of the election, today he outdid himself, if that is possible.

This afternoon he said he was making a ‘special announcement’ and special it was. He stood in front of his adoring fans and announced that in fact he would accept the outcome of the election…if he won. Yes Blanche, you read that right.

Even if Hillary is a cheater, which no doubt she is. Even if she lied, which she did. Even if she got away with illegal actions, which she did – last time we looked America was still a democracy. As such, when an election is held and the results tallied, there is a winner and a loser followed by a winning speech and a concession speech.

Trump’s refusal to say that he will concede and therefore support Hillary if she wins is at the very least his personality disorder talking – one that never allows him to lose and at the very worst a signal to his extreme right-wing supporters to get themselves ready for something after the election.

It is frustrating to read leaked emails and see hard-core evidence that the ‘insiders’ aka those who need Hillary elected to keep their cozy positions – plotted all along – first to get rid of Sanders and now to get rid of Trump. Yet, last time we looked the United States is not a banana republic.

We need the equivalent of Woodward and Bernstein who uncovered Watergate scandal. Reporters who will go underground and do what it takes to get the real story and then not be afraid to print it. Of course that would assume that they won’t be made to disappear by Bill or Hillary, as those two are wont to do with those deemed their enemies.

Still three weeks to go Blanche and we may be needing the economy sized barf bags.

It appears that the city of Montreal is projecting a $62.8 million surplus for 2016. Seriously? How is that possible? A surplus? Are they are playing around with the numbers? Blanche, since when did you become an accountant?

Here’s some of the breakdown of their ‘savings’: $30 million of the savings comes from reduction in the cost of municipal services; $17 million is expected to be saved on professional and technical services and an additional $11 million will come from paying less for snow removal, general maintenance and repairs and fuel and energy.

Paying less for snow removal? We had no snow last year. Now get this one: Due to the traffic issues because of the insane construction on the streets of Montreal, the city paid out $12.4 million in overtime payments to the police for directing traffic. Now that’s something to bury, eh? In other cities, ‘traffic police’ are like crossing guards and paid as such. Not the $75 or so per hour that happens here.

We are not Morris the accountant, but something doesn’t make sense here. Who’s paying for all that roadwork, sewer fixing up and sidewalk remakes? Could someone please get Blanche a calculator?

One more item about the American election. Did you know that no one needs photo ID to vote. That is the one thing that no one wants to change, at least no one in power. Here are some of the times you need to show photo ID: To buy cigarettes, alcohol, to apply for food stamps or welfare, to drive, rent or buy a car. You read enough?

It obviously suits the purposes of those who are in power to stay there and the way to do it is to keep vetoing photo ID to vote. That way, your dead Uncle Bernie can vote six times in different suburbs and know one will know the difference.

And now for something completely different – a travel tip. Did you ever have a connecting flight only to find you had to walk, oh, say about a mile or so to your gate? Or even better, take a train (which means up and down a few escaltors) or even better, a bus to another terminal. Here’s the tip: Anything less than a 90 minute layover coupled with only a carry-on is what is now necessary. This gets even better.

Airports are doing away with those people moving sidewalks. Plus if you happen to need a cart for your luggage, dream on. You can only find those in the luggage claim section of the airport. In transit passengers obviously can carry their stuff. Not.

If you’re a gold medal sprinter, then ignore this post and make a mad dash for your connecting flight. Otherwise, pay attention to your tickets and give yourself plenty of time between flights.

Suspicions are growing that Vladimir Putin has a bomb to throw into the U.S. elections – the complete text of all Clinton’s deleted emails. These 33,000 documents have not been released to the American people and could contain explosive evidence of bribery at the State Department and the Clinton Foundation. Stay tuned for this because if you thought this election campaign could not get worse, it may get not only worse but very ugly.

Good Shabbos we’ll talk…

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