How Sweet It Is

What makes us most happy about the Israeli election? Obama has to sit and watch Bibi’s party win in the exit polls. How sweet it is. Over the weekend things seemed to be doom and gloom for the Likud party. The pollsters don’t know everything. Even though the unpopular Tzipi Livni tried to pull a fast one yesterday by saying she would not share the leadership role with Herzog, it didn’t help.

Francois Legault, erstwhile leader of the CAQ here in Quebec is obviously trying to garner attention from the media and it seems he will say anything to get that attention. His genius words: If a family immigrates to Quebec, he decided that they have three years to master the French language and understand Quebec values before being permitted to stay in the province permanently. If they can’t do either of those things – don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Buzz off, disappear, scram. Can we talk?

Although we are certain this Legault dude has a brain, we are not so sure it’s bigger than a pea. This is what he’s worrying about? This is what he is trying to woo the hardliner, dyed-in-the-wool, never-say-die quebec separatists? That’s all he can come up with?

How about worrying about a brand new hospital that hasn’t even opened yet and is already too small? Has he driven around and seen all the for rent signs? Has he not heard how many companies are closing? And he’s worrying that a doctor moving here from Norway won’t be able to understand quebec customs in three years? Here’s what we propose: He should spend a few days sitting in an emergency department somewhere. Let him wait 48 hours lying in a hospital corridor, with no privacy, for a blood test to come back. Then another 18 hours for a room. Let him talk after that. We can guarantee he will be singing another song. What a complete and total loser.

Now here’s something totally off the wall. Ikea in Amsterdam thought it would be a good idea for adults to play hide and seek in their store on a Saturday night when it’s closed. Well, it was such a good idea that 19,000 people signed up to play. Guess what? Ikea called off the game. Honestly, hide and seek in Ikea? We wonder if the lights were going to be open or closed. Moot point now. End game.

Do you sometimes feel that you are overpaying for medicare? Think again. Here’s a list of what some operations could cost you down south:

Appendicitis: San Francisco wins at $19,566 with New York a close second at $18,399 Repair an Achilles tendon: New York wins by a long shot at $47,788. Tonsillectomy as an outpatient: By far San Francisco wins at $14,253. If you couldn’t do your job properly what would you do? Go back to school and learn how to do it better? Ask someone to help? Not so the secret service. They want $8 million to build a replica White House to help train agents after embarrassing security breaches last year. Now that’s special.

Seems the agents are being trained in a parking lot, but the parking lot doesn’t have the bushes and fountains as the White House grounds do. How about this? Go buy a big house in a small town that will cost oh, say $400,000 and practice there. OPM – other people’s money is way easier to spend than your own. If the secret service wants to build a replica of the white house, let them fork over the money. It will be a much more ‘meaningful’ place. Fech.

On Friday there is trifecta: a super moon, the spring equinox and a solar eclipse. No need to roll your eyes Blanche, the eclipse isn’t happening in our part of the world. A total Solar Eclipse will take place in the Faroe Islands and Svalbard (Norway), and a Partial Solar Eclipse in Europe, northern and eastern Asia and northern and western Africa.

Wait Blanche, you never heard of the Faroe Islands? Don’t try playing geography in the car. They are a group of 18 islands located between Iceland and Norway. But we digress. On Friday is the spring equinox. Ya wanna know what that is Blanche? The March equinox marks the moment the Sun crosses the celestial equator – the imaginary line in the sky above the Earth’s equator – from south to north. On the equinox, night and day are nearly exactly the same length – 12 hours – all over the world.

A super moon is the coincidence of a full moon or a new moon with the closest approach the Moon makes to the Earth on its elliptical orbit, resulting in the largest apparent size of the lunar disk as seen from Earth. The technical name is the perigee. Now you know.

We’ll talk…

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