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Mine, Mine, It’s All Mine.

In the ‘what-was-he-thinking’ department, Evan Solomon didn’t think. He hosted a nightly series called Power & Politics on CBC and a weekly radio political affairs series called The House. He was a rising star in the media world with great prospects for the future. Plus he has good hair so he had the winning combination.

So what did he do? He fed his contacts – and there were many and very good – to an art dealer. Once the contact was made between those two and a deal struck to buy a very expensive piece of art, Solomon received a handsome commission. We’re talking six figures.

Did he tell his employer about this? No. Did he think they would find out? If he didn’t he’s either very greedy  or not nearly as smart as everyone thought he was. We have a feeling he will lay low for a while and show up somewhere, possibly on some news channel in the US. Honestly Blanche, how much money do people need? Ich

One would think that lonely donut has been suffering of late with the ‘eat healthy’ craze. People are eating yogurt, egg white omelets (feh)  or cottage cheese and fruit for breakfast instead of buying a greasy donut. Well Blanche, ya don’t have to feel badly for the donut anymore.

Instead of buying their donuts for breakfast, people are buying them for a snack. Who knew? All those donut places have shown a steady increase in their bottom line, proving that no matter what the thin, emaciated, menthol smelling tree-hugger says, he or she is sneaking in a donut somewhere along the way, along with Billy-Bob, Bodean, Betty Jo and Betty Lou who never stopped eating them for breakfast and snacks.

Although this story surfaced a couple of months ago, it is finding its legs again today. Bell Canada is being sued in a class action suit for $750 million alleging that Bell tracked, collected and sold their sensitive account and internet browsing information of their customers to advertisers. Greed again rears its ugly head.

Did you ever take a road trip and the way back always seems shorter than the way there? Well folks (we’re learning from Obama), some geniuses did a study on just this phenomenon. The results will not surprise you. Going we are unfamiliar with the territory and the ride tends to feel longer. Coming back we recognize landmarks and for whatever reason, the trip feels shorter. We have a bigger question. Who was the brainwave who thought to do this survey and how much money did they walk away with? We venture to say mucho dinero.

Can we talk about ladies soccer games for a minute? What? A minute is too long? Well, you’re in good company as those fifa games being played in Montreal are doing so in front of basically empty stands. Seems the only people attending the games are the parents, relatives and friends of the soccer players.

Soccer is very popular in Europe but in North America? It’s one big yawn. And that’s the men’s soccer. The women’s soccer doesn’t even get a yawn. Blanche’s suggestion: leave soccer in Europe and take away the alcohol from the games. That way people will actually watch the game without beating up the person in the seat next to them.

A short time ago, it was reported that every single US Federal employee’s social security number was hacked. A breach of U.S. government computers—presumably launched by China—is looking immensely worse than first expected. It seems that literally every single government worker is the victim of an enormous personal information heist. Dat doesn’t sound good.

None of these millions of social security numbers were encrypted. Wait, it gets better. Along with the 670,000 federal employees, every federal retiree and up to one million former federal employees also had their personal information stolen. What do we mean by personal information? Everything except the color of their underwear. Where they live, their phone number, email address, how much they get paid, their gender, race and where their birthmarks are (just kidding).

With all the sophistication available, we cannot believe that the social security numbers were not encrypted. The US has a very long way to go to upgrade their most basic systems. We hope that no one reading Blanche is amongst the few million affected.

Good Shabbos We’ll talk…

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