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Minnie and Morris at the Airport

Blanche, we haven’t need the barf bag in a long time. Go git it. We need it today.

Outgoing Premiers of Quebec have quietly taken care of themselves… at the public’s expense. It seems when they leave office they get paid a cool $200,000 for no less than three years to cover ‘office rental and security’.

We don’t want to render you totally apoplectic, so we’ll give you a good piece of news. The current premier is reviewing the issue and the duration of the payments.

This comes on the heels of the government crying how in debt we are and using that excuse to close a senior drop in center. Let’s bet that the $200,000 a year given to princess pauline or Jean Charest would cover that center’s budget and then some. Wait. We just thought of something. Jean Charest is not out three years and neither is the princess. So guess what? We’re paying for both of them. Now that is really nauseous.

Remember Blanche always tells you that nothing is private? That if you put something into an email you might as well broadcast it all over the world. Well, we’ll go one better.

The National Security Agency and its closest allies planned to hijack data links to Google and Samsung app stores to infect smartphones with spyware.

The top secret document was obtained from the NSA by none other than Edward Snowden and released yesterday. The truth is, it’s not so bad if you’re looking for the bad guys as they are able to infect targeted phones and grab emails, texts, web history, call records, videos, photos and other files stored on them. So if the government is targeting radicalized people who are planning something nasty, they can find out about it.

On the other hand, we are all caught up in this net and a simple call to a friend is picked up and listened to. We live in a strange world dudes.

If you have traveled lately, you know about that luggage tax grab by the airlines. We pay anywhere from $25-$75 for checked baggage. To get around that charge, many people resorted to stuffing all their belongings into a small suitcase. Vell, dat’s also over.

Beginning Monday, those ‘little’ bags are going to be weighed and measured and if they are over on either account – poof – you will be back at the check-in counter before you know what hit you. There you will both check your bag and pay the fee. Lest you think you will miss your flight, fear not – or so the airlines say.

They are creating a special pass to get you back and forth from the gate quickly. Right. Tell that to the marines. Like they’re holding the plane back because Minnie and Morris had to go back and check their bags in. Get this: you will miss your flight and have no end of aggravation. So pack less and take the right size carry-on or check your bag in, hold your nose and pay the tax. Prime Minister Harper is coming to Montreal today to accept the prestigious and well-deserved King David Award for his support of both Israel and Jewish communities around the world. This litte ditty was put into the online local paper and elicited some very nasty comments. We will remind those dudes that Israel is the only democracy in the Middle East and Jews are targeted simply for being Jewish. Harper morally gets it, speaks the truth and is not afraid of the big bad wolves out there who don’t. Including losers who write dizguzting comments online. Three cheers for Harper.

It appears that PKP is already wreaking havoc on the Quebec economy. Of course it doesn’t take much to do that. Just say that you want a country for your children and suitcases come out, for sale signs go up and cars are flocking out of Montreal. This would be such an unbelievable place to live if it weren’t for complete and total losers like the princess and now Peladeau. We gave our suggestion a long time ago. Go find an island, take all the people who only want to speak, live, eat and breathe in French and create your own country.

We’ll talk… PS: Sunday is the holiday of Shavuot, when the Jews got the Torah at Mount Sinai over 3,360 years ago. Our Sages tell us that all the Jewish souls who were ever born were there. So on Sunday morning, go back to your roots. It takes ten minutes and your soul will be singing.

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