Obama and the Styrofoam Cup Trick

So whadda ya think, Obama has a problem with his security or what? A few days ago Omar Gonzalez (Ya think he has an identity crisis with a name like that? What is he, Arab or Spanish?) jumped the fence in front of the White House. You would think that bells, whistles, dogs and every secret service agent within five miles would have been alerted. Nope. No one flinched or even knew. Wait, it gets  better.

Not only did he get to the door of the White House but the front door was left unlocked. Did someone not tell the secret service and Obama who happens to live there, that Washington is not Mayberry RFD? (In case you were wondering what rfd means fret no more. It stands for rural free delivery. Ya can’t say we don’t give you information, even if it is useless. But we digress.)

To top off this event, 800 rounds of ammunition, two hatchets and a machete were found in his car, albeit parked blocks away.

The secret service is launching an investigation  on how to better protect the president and his family. Can we talk? Now they’re trying to figure this out? After Obama has been there for six years? And isn’t that their expertise? Protecting people who are targets of every yahoo and his brother? Maybe they should call MacGyver or Andy Berry or perhaps Agent 99 who could communicate with his cohorts through his shoe.

In the ‘do you know who I am’ category, Mark Zuckerberg, gzillionaire founder of Facebook, is ticking off his neighbors in San Francisco and has been doing so for the past 17 months. He bought a vacation home in 2012 and is still renovating, with hordes of ‘workermen’ in the normally quiet neighborhood.

Here are some juicy details: He has a car turntable so he can get his fleet in and out easier; A $720,000 addition of a first-floor office, media room, half-bathroom, mud room, laundry room, wine room and wet bar; A $65,000 kitchen and bathroom remodel and a $60,000 greenhouse. By the time he’s finished renovating he’ll be bored with the house and put it on the market. Let’s bet.

Obama is starting to look like Joe Bifelstick. He’s the dude who walked around with an open umbrella because he always had cloud over his head. There are two winner things that he has blown in the past couple of days.

Seems he saluted a pair of United States Marines on Tuesday while holding a styrofoam cup in his saluting hand. Now to us plebs this doesn’t mean anything. But in the armed forces? Ooh baby, he blew it. It’s a breach of military regulations and he ticked off a lotta people.

The bigger issue is that he really p’od New Yorkers. He is seemingly unaware of how intensely New York drivers despise his visits and the traffic jams they cause around the city.

Every time he travels to New York police have to close streets along his motorcade’s route, sometimes for long stretches of time, turning the city’s busiest roadways into parking lots.

He doesn’t seem to have the traffic problems the city’s residents are always complaining about. “It’s actually pretty smooth for me during the week”, he smiled. “I don’t know what the problem is,’ he told attendees of the Clinton Global Initiative’s annual meeting. ‘I haven’t noticed.’ Honestly, he has no clue about being the president. From something as innocuous as causing traffic jams to  acting like the leader of the free world.

In the ‘aw, isn’t that too bad department’, did you know that the Toronto Blue Jays have not made the playoffs since they won the world series in 1993? At that time, they used to be the darlings of the American league. Now they share the basement with the Kansas city royals who have not made the playoffs since 1985. Hehehehe.

Fifty years ago this coming week, the Warren commission led by Chief Justice Earl Warren on the assassination of President JFK, published an 888-page final report. It identified Lee Harvey Oswald as the sole gunman in Dealey Plaza and said there was no evidence of a conspiracy, foreign or domestic. Over the years there have been rumors and rumblings about a conspiracy theory. All were dismissed.

Now, fifty years later, Charles Shaffer, a former Justice Department prosecutor who served on the investigation’s staff from the Warren commission in 1964, has stepped forward.

In a stunning interview, he said he has no doubt that Oswald was the lone gunman in Dealey Plaza. Nor does he question the single-bullet theory, developed by the commission’s staff, which holds that one bullet passed through the bodies of both Kennedy and Texas Gov. John Connally.

But he now suspects that the assassination was the work, ultimately, of organized-crime figures who somehow manipulated Oswald into gunning down the president in Dallas on Friday, Nov. 22, 1963, and then directed strip-club operator Jack Ruby to silence Oswald by killing him two days later. Will we ever know what happened? Well, we found out who deep throat was. Maybe someone will come forward about this as well. It would definitely be at the end of his life, as he would no doubt be prosecuted if he did so. Time will tell.

As Thursday night is Rosh Hashana, Blanche will be on hiatus. We wish everyone a happy, healthy, prosperous and peaceful New Year. With help from Above, we will send out a blog on Saturday night.

We’ll talk…