What Does Diet Stand For in Trump’s Life: Did I Eat That?

She’s baaaaack. Of course we are referring to Hillary. Can we talk? Pneumonia is nasty, as we can attest. Three days off is not nearly enough to get better, even with antibiotic. But she has to get back on the campaign trail. Obama has been standing in for her and he’s having such a good time campaigning if he could do anything to change the law that he can only be president for two terms he would.

Given that, she’s taking a big chance running around the country again as the debate is a week from Monday night and pneumonia is something that can easily reoccur, much nastier the second time around. If she gets sick again – with whatever mysterious other illnesses she has, she’s toast. Alas, us plebs won’t ever know the truth.

Bill said something today that put him into the category of ‘is-he-really-awake when he referred to his wife’s illness as the flu. Dude, she had pneumonia. That’s not the flu even if you try to lie and say it was. Truth is not a word in his vocabulary.

Former secretary of State Colin Powell’s emails – from the last three years no less – were hacked. Doesn’t really matter if the Russians did it, which is totally speculation. The fact is everybody now knows exactly how he feels about both Hillary and Trump. Let’s see. He called Trump a national disgrace and about Hillary he said that while he respected Mrs. Clinton, he would “rather not have to vote for her”. We’re sure that went over well in the Clinton house.

In one of the juicier emails, he wrote that he was sick and tired of Clinton trying to tie him into her email scandal: “I had to throw a mini-tantrum at a Hamptons party to get their attention. She keeps tripping into these ‘character’ minefields.”

The bottom line here is that Chuck Todd, host of Meet the Press, no longer sends emails about anything except what kind of bread to bring home. If he needs to contact someone he picks up a landline. Take note.

Remember that snake that got away from it’s owner in a suburb of Montreal? It’s still out there. We heard a snake expert – feh – what a job that must be – say that soon it will be searching for somewhere warm to live. Guess what that means Blanche? Someone is going to have a guest in their house.

Donald Trump presented his medical credentials to Dr. Oz. Let’s just say that’s the equivalent of letting the kids babysit themselves. Seems Trump is six-foot-two and ‘slightly overweight’ at 236 lb. Can we talk? Trump stood on the scale with one foot in the air. He’s definitely healthier than Hillary, but he’s not telling the truth about how fat he is. It’s ok to be fat – hey some of our best friends are fatties.

Did you ever notice that he doesn’t close his jacket? Two reasons for that: a) we read he wears a bullet proof vest and b) his jacket is too tight. His buttons would be smiling if he tried to close them.

In case you were wondering what Bernie Sanders was doing all summer we’ll tell you. Writing a book. Zaidy Bernie has to get his memoirs out quickly to be able to get those yummy speaking engagements. Kind of like what Bill Clinton does. We don’t think that Bernie will get $250,000 each, but he’ll definitely make some money.

And how well is he campaigning for Hillary? Quietly, very quietly. He’s not very enthusiastic as one can tell by the fact that he’s nowhere to be found in the media unless you google him. Hillary will have to rely on Obama to get her back into the White House.

Blanche had a meeting in the Ritz Carlton Hotel today. Imagine our surprise when we walked into the lobby to be confronted with a major media scrum. Every Canadian news outlet was there along with RCMP, gigantic German Shepherds sniffing every media person’s purse and camera bag and swarms of police. We walked over an RCMP dude and as a joke said, “Is the Prime Minister coming?” He smiled and said, yes. Doink.

We got our trusty iPhone camera ready and stood together with the rest of the media. We were hoping for a selfie with the selfie-king, but alas, he breezed by escorted by a phalanx of handlers and all we got was a measly picture.

Good Shabbos We’ll talk…

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